Ask Juliette: Ouija Boards, AGT, and Vampires

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a sort of regular Thursday feature here at Vampire Maman. Readers send in questions and I answer them. If you have a burning question about life, love, relationships, Vampires, paranormal stuff, TV, writing, or anything, just send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail .com


Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

My sister-in-law (my brother’s wife) freaked out when she found out my kids and their friends play with a Ouija board. I think she is being ridiculous, but she threatened to keep her children away from mine. Now she is telling everyone my kids are Satan worshipers. I don’t want to cave into her fanatical beliefs, but I don’t want to keep my kids away from their cousins.

Isn’t family great. I’d be more afraid of her than I would be of the spirits a Ouija board might bring to your house. She sounds pretty scary.

First of all you need to ask your brother why he married the woman in the first place.

Secondly you need to let your children know that a Ouija board is a game. I have it on good authority that ghosts don’t hang out in the parlors of mediums, or in Ouija boards. It is just for fun.

As for the SIL who is obsessed with Satan, tell her to get over it. For heaven’s sake, I’m a Vampire and I’ve never seen anyone tempted to follow Satan due to a childhood game dealing with ghosts. Most kids like stories and games about anything to do with horror and paranormal.

You need to get your brother involved in this one. Explain to him what is going on. He has to know that your kids are not doing anything unwholesome or rude. She is unfairly judging your children. Tell your brother to have a conversation with his wife and let her know, firmly, yet gently that your children are not devil worshipers. And she needs to shut the fuck up with the gossip.


Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

You’d mentioned a few weeks ago that you were going to start posting AGT (America’s Got Talent) and Cocktails again. What happened? Who are your favorites for the auditions this year?

Why yes, I did say I was going to post about it and I hope to. The audition stage has finished with a bang and a 90 year old stripper. She was precious.

This year has both Simon Cowell and a good set of contestants. I like the addition of Simon. He looks at the personality and potential in groups. The ladies are still, for the most part, dumber than rocks, and wearing exceptionally tacky dresses, but they’re entertaining. Howie is still Howie.

Anyway, I usually do not like kids in shows like this. So many are too contrived and seem like either brats, or pawns of their parents. But this year has proved to be an exception with so many lovely, talented, and genuine young people.

I’ve highlighted a few below, along with a really fun adult comedian we all enjoyed. Grace VanderWall was wonderful – and she wrote her own song. The judges compared her to Taylor Swift but that was completely wrong. She is more like someone who would open for Twenty One Pilots, Panic! at the Disco, or show up at Warped Tour. She is Indie/Punk Pop/Alternative, and truly talented.

Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

Can Vampires and humans have children together? How do Vampires get pregnant?

Vampires only have children with other Vampires. I feel sorry for all of the misguided women who have fantasies about having a half-Vampire child with one of my handsome brothers or other lovely Vampire guys I know. It isn’t going to happen. They’ll just have sex with you, drink your blood, and never, ever, fall in love with you.

Vampires get pregnant (the rare times they do) the same way as everyone else does.

Ask Juliette


Thanks for dropping by. I hope you enjoyed the videos and were helped out with my quick answers.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


9 thoughts on “Ask Juliette: Ouija Boards, AGT, and Vampires

    • People still think the following things have evil powers: black cats, women who like sex, toads, bats, Barbie Dolls, cupcakes, ghost stories, Harry Potter, The Wizard of Oz, Gumby, and Heavy Metal Music. Sigh. I’ll look into the Hasbro thing. You might have a point there – batteries not included.


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