Scary Halloween Color-and-Cut Fun

Halloween is almost here so to get you in the mood here are some color-and-cut Halloween paper dolls I drew a while back. I’ll have a few new spooky paper pals in October. In the meantime have fun.

Ghost Party

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Punkin Heads

punkin-heads

punkin-heads suits

punkin-heads suits 1

Werewolf and Mermaid

h_creatures

h_creatures_evening

h_creatures_magic

Zombie Girl

zombie_girl doll

z_girl

z_girl 2

Alien Girl

space girl

alein togs 1 alein togs 2

Have fun,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Ask Juliette: Relationship Issue (and some paranormal stuff)

Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire) is a regular Thursday feature here on Vampiremaman.com

People ask me questions and I do my best to answer. If you have a burning question about anything send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail. com (but remove the spaces put there to prevent trolls and bots.)

Ask Juliette

For years I had long, flat, stringy, and lifeless hair. Recently I had it professionally cut into a cute layered chin length bob. I love it. I feel beautiful. Everyone who sees me compliments me. I look and feel great. Unfortunately my boyfriend doesn’t agree. He flipped out. He said I should have asked him before I changed my hair. For the past two weeks he has been sulking and saying I’m no longer the woman he fell in love with. Should I grow my hair out? Wear a hat? Help!

Dump him. It isn’t like you shaved your head or had “I’m dating a loser” tattooed across your forehead. Your hair style isn’t his choice. Period. Yes he is allowed an opinion but saying you’re no longer the woman he fell in love with? Seriously? You don’t need an over grown controlling baby in your life. If he doesn’t love you for looking and feeling great, then you don’t need him. Dump him. By the way, your style sounds cute. In fact, that is how I am wearing my hair these days.

crowonstone

 

My girlfriend just left me for her old boyfriend. I was the rebound guy AGAIN. The same thing happened with my last two girlfriends before her. One left me for her ex-husband, the other for a boyfriend who’d gone to grad school in another state. Should I give up? Should I accept the fact that I’m the rebound guy forever? Should I hire myself out to women who want to get back together with their ex. 

Awww man. Sorry about the bad luck. I have a few tips for you and things to look for.

Red flags:

  • She talks about her ex a lot.
  • She talks about all the good times she had with her ex.
  • She keeps traditions that she had with her ex. She wants to go to the same places they went and do the same things they did.
  • Her friends and family call you her ex’s name.
  • You feel like you can’t live up to the ex.
  • She mentions the ex in reference to your sex life (as in birth control, dressing up, or you know, other things they did.)
  • She talks to her ex all the time.

When you meet a woman you like find out how long it has been since she was in a serious relationship. Also how does she talk about him. If she hates him then you might be in luck. If she is sad about the break up then maybe you need to sit back a bit.

Also watch out for someone in a long distance relationship. Often they have the attitude like that awful Stephen Stills song, “And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, Love the one you’re with.” You don’t want someone with that attitude. You might be with them physically right now, but you’ll never be the one they really love.

 

arthurrackhamcrowmice

 

I think the guy I’m dating might be a Vampire. How can I know for sure?

If you’re with him long enough you’ll know because he won’t age. Otherwise you’re out of luck. He won’t tell you unless he wants you to know. OK not completely out of luck. If you try to have his baby you won’t be able to. Vampire can’t get regular girls pregnant. He might also be cold to the touch most of the time. Our body temperature is sort of cold. Of course if you meet his parents and they look like teenagers you’ll know for sure.

You know, you could just ask him. If he like you he might just come out and tell you. Of course that opens up another completely different can of worms (the worms go in, the worms go out.)

 

Ask Juliette

I want to be a Shape Shifter. I’d love to be able to turn into a wolf, or a dragon. How do I make that happen?

You don’t unless you want some nasty Werewolf to rip you half to death, then be bound by the full moon with no choice in your fate. AND you’ll get fleas. They ALL get fleas.

You can’t just become a shape shifter. Sheesh.

 

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

My Mom Blogs About Vampires

Businessmen, Handsome Gen X

 

Seriously, I did date that guy, and more.

What you share with your kids and what you don’t is up to your own comfort level. You don’t want to tell them everything. They don’t need to know it all. But you don’t want to tell them nothing. But this isn’t exactly what this post is about.

How do your kids see you now? Who are you? What do you do? Do they know? Do they care? They should care. They should be thrilled.

Do a little bit of PR work on your own kids. Seriously, if you’re a parent you need public relations.

How do your kids see you?

I’m not talking about “honor thy mother and father,” or anything to do with authority. I’m not going to discuss examples of piss poor bad parenting. I’m not going to talk about being perfect.

I’m talking image. AND when you live with teens you know that IMAGE is EVERYTHING.

And don’t tell me it isn’t because I know even kids who SAY they don’t care DO. The very image of not caring about image is their image.

Seriously, listen to me. Your kids are growing up. They’ll be adults soon. Who are they going to turn to as an example of a well adjusted, interesting, happy adult? YOU. I hope it is you.

But wait. Don’t worry. This is nothing to stress over. Just be yourself. Show your kids your best self. Show them the interesting self that deep down in your heart and soul make you who you are. Not the parent. Not the spouse. Not anything that is connected to anyone. Show your kids YOU. Let them know who you are.

We've got plenty of talent.

We’ve got plenty of talent.

What did you want to be when you were a teen? What do you want to do now? Or do you love where you are? Share that with your teen. And if your dream didn’t happen put a positive spin on it. Over the years some dreams grow, some dreams get hidden away, some dreams die, and some live on.

I’ve always done things a little different from others, so no surprise that I blog about Vampires and parenting. Then again, even though every tells me I’m unique and different, I feel that we are all unique and different. Let’s celebrate that with our teens. I mean, who better than your own teen or young adult to celebrate with.

Share your hopes and dreams. Share your long winded stories. Tell them about what you do at work (if you love your job.) Tell them what you love, and tell your kid that one day he or she will have something they’ll love just as much. Passion isn’t just romance. It is the love of doing – even if you aren’t good at it.

Everyone talks of role models for kids. Forget public figures. Make yourself the best role model out there. Don’t be modest. Even the parent with the quiet life, or the simple life, has lessons to teach, and interesting things about herself to share.

For example, among other things, I get most of the answers on Jeopardy correct. Then when everyone else gets it wrong I tell my husband, “You are married to the smartest woman in the world.” Then my kids agree. I’m good at trivia. My kids think that is cool. See where I’m going with this? We all have something we’re good at. Don’t hide it from your kids. Share it with them. Maybe it will spark their passions – even if those passions are different from yours. Try it. It works. Believe me on this one.

You don’t have to make a fool out of yourself trying to be hip and cool, because you already are. Just be yourself, and let your kids know who that is.

That’s all. Nothing profound.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Ode to an unfinished story…with a minimum of bad words

Contrary to popular opinion Vampires don’t always have their shit together.

Between having a large puppy, and last weekend’s trip it looks like someone broke into my home…no take that back. The front entry way and living room looks like something off of one of those hoarders shows.

Then there is the writing. I have a fantasy story to finish. I was told I couldn’t use bad words and now I’m at a loss because I’m a foul mouthed writer. I’m a foul mouthed mom. I try to stay clean. I stay clean around my LDS friends, and my neighbors. I stay clean around my children’s educators. That is about it. I’m trying. Even now I’m trying.

So I’m going to finish up this story before the end of the month. It is about a guy who holds a high position. He drinks cocktails. He sleeps around. He had a dwarf and an elf as his right and left hand advisors. He is a God. Everybody likes him but damn it, he has a job to do. In the meantime somebody steals something from him, someone else does something profound, it touches the main guy’s heart, and he decides to take a chill pill and bring more beauty to the world in which he is responsible for. On the other hand I might drastically change that story.

I like writing about gods. I did it with my story about Hermes Ode to a Greek God. By the way I wrote that gem in about two hours. I said I write fast. I never said I write well.

To add to that story is a novel I’m revising. I have a deadline for that as well. At one point one chapter had more fucks in it than the HBO series Deadwood.

I also have two blog posts in the work and I’m behind on “Girl In The Woods,” serial novel. To my readers: the next section is in bad need of editing. I hope to have you something this coming Friday, even if it is small. See the sidebar, or click here to start from the beginning.

I know, I know, you came here for Vampires.

Yesterday I had a “lunch date” with my friend Jack. I always bring him pomegranate juice and cookies, just like when he donates to the blood bank. Aside from having great blood, the man always smells nice. I don’t know exactly what it is. Some people just smell good, and I’m not talking about food smells. We all know that the best perfume any girl could wear to attract guys would be bacon scented, or maybe beer, but that isn’t it. Some people just smell good.

Tuesday. It is Tuesday. I have work to do.

Oh, one more thing. Don’t forget that every (almost every) Thursday features my ever so popular advice column, “Ask Juliette, or Ask a Vampire.” Send me your questions about relationships, parenting, Vampires, paranormal stuff, politics, gardening, or anything else that is burning up your brain. I’ll do my best to answer. Send your questions to juliettevampiremom @ gmail. com (yes there are extra spaces in there to ward off the trolls.)

Ok, I have stuff to do. Stories to finish. I hope.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Antique Pocket Watch With A Heart

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unfinished/

Under the Stars in the Beauty of Everything

wild-plum-campground

I have no story today because I was up in the hills hiking in places where a zillion stars can still be seen out at night.

My feet were so dirty in my sandals (Waterproof Tevas) that Tellias commented that I looked like I was walking in biblical times. He should know. He was there in biblical times as a citizen of the Roman Empire. A unique being who could tell fortunes and create all kinds of magic.

Nights were cold and quiet. Days were cool and quiet.

As we drove up there through the small, teeny tiny old Gold Rush era towns I thought of the times when thousands and thousands of people were up in those hills trying to find their fortune. Now they have another kind of fortune (not withstanding all of the pot growers on National Forest land).

It takes a different kind of person to live in the small isolated towns that are still mostly populated by buildings that were built before the Civil War. I know, if you live in the East that isn’t such a big deal, but here it is a really big deal.

The old brick, stone, and wood structures bring back memories and spark the imagination.

Relaxing at camp after a long walk along the Pacific Crest Trail.

Relaxing at camp after a long walk along the Pacific Crest Trail.

Then there are the woods, and the pitch black darkness of a mountain night. As my husband Teddy and I took a romantic walk under the trees and zillion stars he said, “This is my church.”

We looked at the stars and speculated on who was out there, far far away, looking at our obscure little star, out in the boondocks of the Milky Way. They’re out there. They’re like us. They’re walking under the stars, arm in arm, stealing kisses, taking about the beauty of the universe, and wondering who we are.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

wild-plum

Class of 2017

June 2, 2016. 8:00 a.m.

I never thought a date of celebration would make me want to cry.

That is graduation day. High School. And the last graduation from High School.

OK enough of that. It is interesting that the graduation ceremony is at 8:00 a.m. in the morning. After the seniors graduate the rest of the students come to school around 11:00 and have their usual classes.

With any luck all 512 kids will walk across the grass while we all cheer them on. Not one is more important than another. They’re walking into the future. They’re jumping off of a cliff into an unknown abyss. They’re going out for breakfast with their parents. They’re going off to trade school, and the military, and college, and work, and they’re going…

As the election nears I think of all of the stupidity I hear in the news. I have hope in the Class of 2017 that they won’t we so stupid, so duped, so ignorant, and so shallow as those who fight for time in front of a camera.

For this generation they don’t care if someone is gay or straight. They don’t care what color anyone is. They don’t care about superficial crap or power grabs. They are a cynical bunch who care about common sense, plain truth, facts, art, music, science, and discovery. They’re not much on tradition or keeping things the same. They question far more than the generations before them. And THAT is why I love them.

So yes, it is fun to see my 20 year old son Garrett wearing a shirt with the words “My Mom Blogs About Vampires” on the front of it. It is also fun to have that same young man give me a big hug and say, “CAN YOU BELIEVE CLARA IS GRADUATING???”

I do believe it. Oh goodness. I believe.

~Juliette aka Vampire Maman

vampire teens