Ask Juliette: Relationship Issue (and some paranormal stuff)

Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire) is a regular Thursday feature here on

People ask me questions and I do my best to answer. If you have a burning question about anything send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail. com (but remove the spaces put there to prevent trolls and bots.)

Ask Juliette

For years I had long, flat, stringy, and lifeless hair. Recently I had it professionally cut into a cute layered chin length bob. I love it. I feel beautiful. Everyone who sees me compliments me. I look and feel great. Unfortunately my boyfriend doesn’t agree. He flipped out. He said I should have asked him before I changed my hair. For the past two weeks he has been sulking and saying I’m no longer the woman he fell in love with. Should I grow my hair out? Wear a hat? Help!

Dump him. It isn’t like you shaved your head or had “I’m dating a loser” tattooed across your forehead. Your hair style isn’t his choice. Period. Yes he is allowed an opinion but saying you’re no longer the woman he fell in love with? Seriously? You don’t need an over grown controlling baby in your life. If he doesn’t love you for looking and feeling great, then you don’t need him. Dump him. By the way, your style sounds cute. In fact, that is how I am wearing my hair these days.



My girlfriend just left me for her old boyfriend. I was the rebound guy AGAIN. The same thing happened with my last two girlfriends before her. One left me for her ex-husband, the other for a boyfriend who’d gone to grad school in another state. Should I give up? Should I accept the fact that I’m the rebound guy forever? Should I hire myself out to women who want to get back together with their ex. 

Awww man. Sorry about the bad luck. I have a few tips for you and things to look for.

Red flags:

  • She talks about her ex a lot.
  • She talks about all the good times she had with her ex.
  • She keeps traditions that she had with her ex. She wants to go to the same places they went and do the same things they did.
  • Her friends and family call you her ex’s name.
  • You feel like you can’t live up to the ex.
  • She mentions the ex in reference to your sex life (as in birth control, dressing up, or you know, other things they did.)
  • She talks to her ex all the time.

When you meet a woman you like find out how long it has been since she was in a serious relationship. Also how does she talk about him. If she hates him then you might be in luck. If she is sad about the break up then maybe you need to sit back a bit.

Also watch out for someone in a long distance relationship. Often they have the attitude like that awful Stephen Stills song, “And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, Love the one you’re with.” You don’t want someone with that attitude. You might be with them physically right now, but you’ll never be the one they really love.




I think the guy I’m dating might be a Vampire. How can I know for sure?

If you’re with him long enough you’ll know because he won’t age. Otherwise you’re out of luck. He won’t tell you unless he wants you to know. OK not completely out of luck. If you try to have his baby you won’t be able to. Vampire can’t get regular girls pregnant. He might also be cold to the touch most of the time. Our body temperature is sort of cold. Of course if you meet his parents and they look like teenagers you’ll know for sure.

You know, you could just ask him. If he like you he might just come out and tell you. Of course that opens up another completely different can of worms (the worms go in, the worms go out.)


Ask Juliette

I want to be a Shape Shifter. I’d love to be able to turn into a wolf, or a dragon. How do I make that happen?

You don’t unless you want some nasty Werewolf to rip you half to death, then be bound by the full moon with no choice in your fate. AND you’ll get fleas. They ALL get fleas.

You can’t just become a shape shifter. Sheesh.


Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Juliette aka Vampire Maman






8 thoughts on “Ask Juliette: Relationship Issue (and some paranormal stuff)

  1. Try sending yourself an email post-dated for the next day when he isn’t around and copy this this info along with when and where you’ll ask him if he’s a Vampire. If you get the email and don’t remember sending it, he’s a Vampire. Also, never mention it again… ever. 😏 Hope this helps!


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