Ode to an unfinished story…with a minimum of bad words

Contrary to popular opinion Vampires don’t always have their shit together.

Between having a large puppy, and last weekend’s trip it looks like someone broke into my home…no take that back. The front entry way and living room looks like something off of one of those hoarders shows.

Then there is the writing. I have a fantasy story to finish. I was told I couldn’t use bad words and now I’m at a loss because I’m a foul mouthed writer. I’m a foul mouthed mom. I try to stay clean. I stay clean around my LDS friends, and my neighbors. I stay clean around my children’s educators. That is about it. I’m trying. Even now I’m trying.

So I’m going to finish up this story before the end of the month. It is about a guy who holds a high position. He drinks cocktails. He sleeps around. He had a dwarf and an elf as his right and left hand advisors. He is a God. Everybody likes him but damn it, he has a job to do. In the meantime somebody steals something from him, someone else does something profound, it touches the main guy’s heart, and he decides to take a chill pill and bring more beauty to the world in which he is responsible for. On the other hand I might drastically change that story.

I like writing about gods. I did it with my story about Hermes Ode to a Greek God. By the way I wrote that gem in about two hours. I said I write fast. I never said I write well.

To add to that story is a novel I’m revising. I have a deadline for that as well. At one point one chapter had more fucks in it than the HBO series Deadwood.

I also have two blog posts in the work and I’m behind on “Girl In The Woods,” serial novel. To my readers: the next section is in bad need of editing. I hope to have you something this coming Friday, even if it is small. See the sidebar, or click here to start from the beginning.

I know, I know, you came here for Vampires.

Yesterday I had a “lunch date” with my friend Jack. I always bring him pomegranate juice and cookies, just like when he donates to the blood bank. Aside from having great blood, the man always smells nice. I don’t know exactly what it is. Some people just smell good, and I’m not talking about food smells. We all know that the best perfume any girl could wear to attract guys would be bacon scented, or maybe beer, but that isn’t it. Some people just smell good.

Tuesday. It is Tuesday. I have work to do.

Oh, one more thing. Don’t forget that every (almost every) Thursday features my ever so popular advice column, “Ask Juliette, or Ask a Vampire.” Send me your questions about relationships, parenting, Vampires, paranormal stuff, politics, gardening, or anything else that is burning up your brain. I’ll do my best to answer. Send your questions to juliettevampiremom @ gmail. com (yes there are extra spaces in there to ward off the trolls.)

Ok, I have stuff to do. Stories to finish. I hope.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Antique Pocket Watch With A Heart


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