(Reposted from July 2015. The kids are all grown up now but this is still funny…at least to me)
Girl Child (age 16): I’d hate myself if I was a teenage boy. I am so glad I’m a girl. If you’re a boy you’re expected to act cool, drop F bombs a hundred times a day, say the N word a hundred times a day for no reason because they think they’re cool but they’re a bunch of stupid little boys, you stink all the time, if you get near another guy and give him a bro hug you have to say “No homo.” Boys are so insecure. Then they go home and be perfect little clean mouthed little polite mommy’s boys.
Man Child (age 19): We’re not all like that and the rest grow out of it. Most of us grow out of it.
Girl Child: Sure, you and my guy friends. But the rest of the guys. They’re all a bunch of F boys. They posture like a bunch of monkeys. I feel sorry for you.
As a mom I just listen. Girls swoon over the Man-child. The Girl-child is going to break hearts. They are both going to grow up and realize that they were on the right track – more than either of their parents (or at least more than I was.)
Some of you might be horrified but all kids talk like this, at least the ones I know. They talk about life and love and what they see and hear at school.
Then I watch them both sit in the cool dining room with the shades drawn, working on school work for fall. They’ll laugh together until their sides split, then they’ll study and study and study. I’m not helicopter parent – they do this on their own.
For all parents of young children my advice would be to guide your kids. Talk to them. Encourage them to be curious. Teach them study skills. And let them know that at a certain age that it is on them to work for their future. Let them know that they should be kids, but prepare them to be adults.
Sure they’ll make mistakes. How else can one learn?
I let them speak their minds around me too. I don’t want them ever to be afraid to speak or feel they have to have secrets.
But I swear, being around teens is like a 24/7 comedy club. I have to write this stuff down as they say it, or record it.
Oh well. Just thinking out loud.
So your assignment for this week is to hug your kids, listen to them, laugh with them and love them. And tell them not to be jerks or try not to offend everyone they see. It isn’t cool. It is just stupid.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Vampire Maman 
I absolutely love that cat and dog picture. I’m thinking that cat won the fight with one punch. Poor dog probably didn’t even know what he was walking into when he challenged that cat. 😆
“They posture like a bunch of monkeys. I feel sorry for you.” I love this line. It makes me smile way too much.
Teenagers are so funny. We forget sometimes after we grow up.
I love this! We say boys are stupid in our house constantly, we currently have 18 and 14 year old boys 😎
Congratulations. Boys (especially grown ones) can be awfully stupid, that said teen boys can be so awesome and just precious. I love the way teenage boys laugh. You gotta love them.
Absolutely!