Musings on Murder, Summer Romance, And Parenting

I was watching something on what I think was the ID Chanel on cable. It was about women who kill. My husband said I needed to watch it. We watched in horror. These women were evil. Forget any horror I’ve written, or all the Vampire stuff. These women were scary with a sense of entitlement that had no limits.

One woman, I forget her name so I’ll call her Jane, was what people called a God Fearing woman. That is a red flag if there ever was one. She Jane married a guy I’ll call Bob. This was Jane’s third husband and Bob’s second wife. 

Bob is not God Fearing. Bob does not go to church. Bob drinks. Bob likes porn. But everyone likes Bob. He helps out. He is friendly. He does and says things that make people smile. He is good with kids.

So to make a long sick and twisted story short…Jane can’t get Bob to go to church. She gets him to stop drinking. She complains about him non-stop. She is hell on wheels about riding his ass. THEN she discovers that Bob like porn. Bob like porn a lot. He has hundreds of tapes and CDs. 

Jane has a big fire and makes Bob burn all of his porn. Then a week later Jane discovers Bob has subscribed to a porn station on the Internet. So what does Jane do? She shoots Bob about 20 times with a gun. Sure arrows would have been more interesting but she shoots him and kills him. 

The moral of this story is to not feel you need a husband or a wife. Seriously folks, you can be single and happy. 

I often wonder why people feel they HAVE to get married, especially now. This isn’t the 19th century when women couldn’t get good jobs and needed a man to support them. Men also now know how to take care of themselves. Also another advantage of the 21st Century is that if you have sex with someone you don’t have to marry them. Whew, that is a relief.

I tell this story because my son Garrett has been here for a few weeks, and will leave on the 6th, after the July 4th weekend. 

He hemmed and hawed and hinted around that he wanted to talk about relationships. His dad, my husband Teddy, was out with my brother Max getting into whatever trouble two alpha Vampires can get into post pandemic (almost post pandemic.)

I thought he’d ask the usual questions like: 
What if I fall in love with someone who is 300 years older than me? 

What if she belongs to some weird cult and refuses to move out of her leaders house or come out during the day?

What if she has a leader? 

What if she is fun and I love her but I know she only likes me for my looks.

What if she isn’t a Vampire?

What if she smokes?

What if none of my friends like her?

What if she snorts snot when she laughs?

What if she laughs at everything?

What if she has tacky tastes in clothing and everything else?

What if she wants an open relationship and wants to sleep with other Vampires?

What if she isn’t a Vampire?

The list goes on but his concerns were not on any of these lists. He knows the answer to those questions anyway. Most of the answers are a resounding NO, or something that will eventually lead to no. A few are fixable, but do you really want to go to the trouble for someone who isn’t extraordinarily right for you? 

But how do you know if they’re extraordinarily  right for you?  Usually you don’t. Then again sometimes you do know – and you know right away.

Garrett, age 25, met someone he thought was extraordinarily right for him. They met through his work, his own business. He called her about something her was researching. They had coffee. They went to a weird film they both wanted to see. They ran into each other at a party where he met her girlfriend. Then he felt stupid because he didn’t know she was gay. Everyone else knew. She’d even mentioned a girlfriend, but he thought it was a nonromantic girlfriend, like his best buddy Randy. He is still great pals with her, and now with her girlfriend. 

I’ve had the same thing happen to me. I liked someone and well, he would never like me in that way. Then I really liked someone and the same thing happened. But that’s ok. It happens. At least it wasn’t like someone was an asshole or led me on. Just like Garret and his friend. She didn’t lead him on. She was just her wonderful self and innocently never even thought that my overly romantic son would start to get that little rush and bit of a stomach ache and a fit of smiles when he thought of her. 

Then the girl he liked introduced him to a friend of hers. The friend, named Daisy, was pretty but in a forgettable way. Her clothes were sort of haphazard. Her hair was never in place. They met for drinks and walked on the beach under a half moon. She was quiet, but interesting when he got her talking. Daisy was looking for a new apartment because she wanted to live alone and closer to the beach, or at least close to a park. She wanted to get a cat. She liked to draw in her spare time. Being a Vampire sort of bothered her sometimes, but she never knew anything else so she learned to deal with it. Daisy mostly just asked him about himself. She listened. 

Daisy wasn’t dazzling so he wasn’t sure if there would ever be a spark, but he liked her company. She was cute, quiet and sweet and comfortable. She had a cute way of laughing and showing her fangs. Maybe she was a little weird, but nothing like his roommate Alexis who was a talkative Vampire Goth who was sometimes beyond weird. 

He shrugged it off – the feeling of wanting to feel more. 

I asked what Daisy did for a living, if she indeed did do anything. 

He smiled. “Daisy writes jingles for advertising. She also writes her own music and is putting together an EP. She’s pretty good. More than good. She wrote a soundtrack for a short indie film too. It was some sort of Claymation stop-action type of thing.”

I let him talk. She sounded nice. I wasn’t going to add in anything or judge. He showed me her picture. Nothing was unusual about the smiling girl on the beach with the wind blowing in her dark brown hair. 

At least I know, or at least I think I know, that she won’t kill him. She might break his heart, but otherwise she sounds nice. We will see. I try not to get involved unless I see warning signs such as controlling tendencies, constant complaining, or other unsavory behavior. 

All I can do is listen. He is still young. I didn’t get married until I was 132. There is no rush. I guess I just try to stress that it is ok not to be romantically involved with someone all of the time. I want my son to know that he doesn’t always need to have a steady girlfriend. Every relationship doesn’t have to be love. Friends with benefits are ok, but I don’t tell him that

We talked some more and the subject changed to work and his dad and Uncle Max, and what I’m doing. What am I doing? All kinds of things. Maybe I’ll post about them soon. Maybe.

As usual stay safe. Have a safe and sane July 4th weekend. In the triple digit heat check in on those who might need extra help or need a cool place to stay. Be kind. Don’t be a dick. We’ve all been locked up for so long that this weekend might be crazy so be careful out there, even if you are a Vampire. 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


    1. I saw that. How sweet of you. Looked like you had a tough one to deal with. Those crusty old ancient shadow creeping vampires just don’t understand a lot these days. The 21st Century isn’t just a different world for them, it is almost like a different planet.

  1. Don’t we all have questions about our ‘future love-match’? What if…? I found we need to decide for ourselves what we can tolerate in a partner and what would inevitably lead to a shooting (with or without arrows).
    Worse is, if you found your other half and they keep thinking there is sooooo much time… HAHA Even impatience can lead to bullets. I’m just not sure yet, what caliber….

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