Juliette’s Monday Book Club: Friendship, Veterans, & Men’s Health.

I met Bob Tierno a few months ago at a book reading at my friend Dave’s shop in Fair Oaks, California.  Jon Obyermeyer (writer/poet) had recommended I come to the event. I’m glad I went.

Today, on Veteran’s Day, I feel honored to feature two books by Bob Tierno.

I just started reading the memoir “Letters in a Helmet.”  I love the concept of this story. We all have those friends who, no matter how much time, or how much distance, we always pick up where we left off. Shared histories and shared souls bring it all together.

Letters in a Helmet

by Ron Sorter and Bob Tierno  

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A Story of Fraternity and Brotherhood is a sweeping tale of two men, covering five decades of friendship and brotherhood. What elevates this story is a profound, interlocking bond that carries Delta Kappa Epsilon (“Deke”) fraternity brothers Ron Sorter and Bob Tierno across a transformative landscape of military service, career transitions, marriages, war wounds, cancer battles and bereavement. The immaturity of their youthful antics is followed immediately by the accelerated maturity of early adulthood, and later on, the accumulation of wisdom as they enter their eighth decade of life. This is an inspiring chronicle of American life, bridging the 20th and 21st centuries with this enduring mantra: “your brothers are always there for you.”

Letters in a Helmet, A Story of Fraternity and Brotherhood  Now Available (10/3/2019} in Amazon Books .

summerreading

 

My second book choice is something completely different. Listen up guys – this is about PROSTATE CANCER. This is IMPORTANT. There is a myth out there that Prostate Cancer is slow and won’t kill you. I stress the word myth. Prostate Cancer WILL kill you. Luckily the test is EASY. Just a simple blood test once a year. I know people who’ve tested and gotten it taken care of early (and still have great sex lives.) I also knew those who did not get it taken care of and are no longer with us because of that. The choice is yours. On the other hand it isn’t all yours if you think of your wife, your children, your friends. If you don’t do it for yourself then do it for them.

The Prostate Chronicles – A Medical Memoir: Detours and Decisions following my Prostate Cancer Diagnosis

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“I know not all that may be coming, but be it will, I’ll go laughing.” Herman Melville, Moby DickFrankly, most books on prostate cancer like this are boring and predictable, with an over-emphasis on the medical aspect. This book is irreverent and, therefore different. It sheds light on my journey and speaks to how relationships matter. Men generally don’t like to talk about their prostate because of its impact on their ego (sex life) and quality of life (incontinence). Life as they knew it is “over,” not acknowledging that their life already sucked thanks to their prostate as in always asking for an aisle seat near the restroom. As in always looking for the nearest bathroom at events, and of course, not enjoying that favorite cup of joe if a toilet was more than an hour away. You do have several options when diagnosed with prostate cancer, but frankly, they all suck. Despite numerous downside implications, there is the outcome that you live to see another five, fifteen or twenty years. Having that definitive end-of-life conversation with my urologist was sobering. Whether you are a man or a significant other, prostate cancer is steady part of our health lexicon today. If you’re lucky enough to live to eighty, you’ll most likely encounter this disease.I think of prostate cancer as a detour in my life in my late 60s, something I would not have asked for by any means. If you happen to have prostate cancer, you’re not totally, FUBAR, (Fouled Up Beyond All Repair). Okay, maybe a just little bit. At least you won’t ever again have to hear your urologist say “Bend over here it comes again!”Ella Wheeler said in her famous poem Solitude, “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone.”Prostate cancer sucks, but you stand a better chance of coping if you have humor on your side. I’m choosing to take a humorous approach because it’s freaking healthy and because I can and that is what you will find in this book. My life has been a series of exciting eras, all of them fueled by my love of experiencing new challenges. I’m knowledgeable about many things, which I can now add prostate cancer and robotic surgery. Not my first choice, but it does make the list of my expertise longer. ~ Bob Tierno

The Prostate Chronicles- A Medical Memoir Now available on Amazon Books in paperback and Kindle E-Book.

Articles: ProstateCancer.net

https://prostatecancer.net/living/staying-active-during-recovery/

REAL MEN don’t pressure women…

My friend Kelly (a regular human) and I saw a bumper sticker that read:

Real Men Don’t Pressure Women to Have Abortions

She said “I’m pro-choice but I want to put a note on that car and tell the owner that I agree with them 100%.”

When Kelly (who is now 50 with two lovely kids) was in her 20’s a lot of women she knew had terminated pregnancies.  It was never an easy choice but it was a choice. More often than not it was because the guy (the one with the sperm) was a jerk.  That was Kelly’s experience.

“I never want that choice to be taken away from any woman for any reason. That said when I turned 30 I had two boyfriends who told me “If you get pregnant you’re having an abortion.” It was such a mean thing to say. They  more or less said “I don’t value you. I don’t value a future with you. I won’t be there for you if anything goes wrong. I don’t value your needs. And worst of all it said I don’t love you.”  And it wasn’t like we were poor kids. We were successful young professionals with good jobs and good credit ratings. What they said really hurt. When I met Derrick he wanted kids. He wanted MY kids. One of the old boyfriends  wanted me to get back together with him but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to marry Peter Pan. I needed a real man.”

I’m pro-choice but that choice is a choice of having a baby or not. It is deeply personal and no woman makes those choices lightly.

Girls – you’re responsible for your children. Before you get pregnant or even think about getting pregnant, think about who the father will be.

Ask yourself the following:

  1. Will he be there for you if you accidentally get pregnant?
  2. Will he respect your choice (to continue the pregnancy or not)?
  3. Will he be there for your child?
  4. Is he really an adult man or just a large boy?
  5. Will he love you and your child forever?
  6. Will he support the child financially?
  7. Does he respect you?
  8. If something happened to you would you want him to raise your child?
  9. Do YOU want this baby?
  10. Will this child be my FIRST priority (ahead of ANY man or needs or urges) for the next 18 years.

If the answer to any of those questions is NO then think again about your relationship and double up on birth control – or better yet, don’t have sex with him at all.

With Vampires it is a little different in how we pick our mates and who we have children with.  But so many regular humans take it so lightly and never think twice about having sex without birth control or a thought in their heads about having a child. Most people put more thought into what breed of dog they’ll get than having a baby.

Parents of ALL KINDS: Talk to your teens about BIRTH CONTROL and PREGNANCY, RELATIONSHIPS and SEX. Don’t judge your kids – just talk to them openly and honestly. Be the kind of parent you want your teens to grow up and be.

  • But the thought of the day is that REAL MEN Don’t Pressure Women Into Doing ANYTHING They Don’t Want To Do. Not Sex. Not Abortions. Not Diets. Not Plastic Surgery. Not ANYTHING that woman doesn’t want to do. Period

 

  • And that goes for girls too – Real Women don’t pressure MEN into doing anything they don’t want to do. Period. And honey, you aren’t going to keep any man by accidentally-on-purpose-getting-pregnant. It will just cause a lot of resentment and pain for everyone in the future and it will be SO UNFAIR for that poor child! So DON’T DO IT !
  • And remember “Friends don’t let friends date jerks”.

Also, any comments made with a lot of knee jerk hostility or whatever will be removed. Just bite your tongue and keep it to yourself or write our own blog.

Being Different – Being Brave: 10/26 is Intersex Awareness Day

October 26 is “Intersex Awareness Day”

I bet most of you know someone who is Intersex and don’t even know it.

I bet most of you don’t know what “Intersex” really means.

Intersex:

This is from an article on Wikipedia:

Intersex, in humans and other animals, is the presence of intermediate or atypical combinations of physical features that usually distinguish female from male. This is usually understood to becongenital, involving chromosomal, morphologic, genital and/or gonadal anomalies, such as diversion from typical XX-female or XY-male presentations, e.g., sex reversal (XY female, XX male), genital ambiguity, or sex developmental differences. An intersex individual may have biological characteristics of both the male and the female sexes. Intersex was initially adopted by intersex activists who criticize traditional medical approaches to sex assignment and seek to be heard in the construction of new approaches.[4]

Enough of the science talk. I’m not an expert on this subject but a friend of mine is…

My brave beautiful friend Zollie says it better than any article I’ve read:

I am not disordered. I am perfect! I am the image of my great creator. And the CREATOR DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES! My sex and sexuality is not disordered by any means. I am passionate and loving and sexy and I am ALLLLLLLL WOMAN. So, you so-called experts, quit saying I have a disorder! Because I don’t!

Zollie told me of the term Orchid Sisters to describe women like her. It is a beautiful term and fitting.

Intersex people look like everyone else. They act like everyone else. They fall in love, get married and are parents like everyone else. They are no different than the rest of us – just a little bit different – but we’re ALL different in some way.

 

Like I keep saying on my blog and off of my blog – We are all different. If we were all the same the world would be a stupid and boring place.

For more information go to:

I am not disorder http://zollies-spot.blogspot.com/2011/07/i-am-not-disordered.html

Links to information and resources http://zollies-spot.blogspot.com/

For a gallery of beautiful, healthy and normal Intersex women and their stories go to: http://www.aisdsd.org/photo-gallery/women-with-dsds/

Don’t Touch My Food – or taking the bite out of being politically correct.

Vampires can’t live on sticks and twigs. No no no no no.

I’ve posted this information before, but now that school is starting, the pressure will be on our Vampire children to conform to the ways of “politically correct” regular human kids.

I’d like to just say “Screw political correctness and ignorance. We’re Vampires. Their rules don’t apply to us.”

Well OK I’ll say it “Don’t screw with Vampires or our children or our food choices. Our biology isn’t the same as yours. End of story. Stay out of our business” Whew, good to get that off of my chest. 

We’ve always had our strict codes of ethics among our kind (Vampires), but the modern political correctness worries me.

Everyone eventually finds the donor sources they are most comfortable with. My husband and I found that being a strong patrons of the arts provides an inexhaustible source of fresh nourishment.

That said, there is a small and extremely vocal group of vampires who want to ban all fresh blood gathering – that means that all blood should come in a jar and be consumed from glasses with no human contact.

Along with blood comes energy. We can’t over look that with every tasting we get a certain amount of life energy (the amount depends on the donor), which is required for maintaining both physical and mental health.

Tell your teens and young adults that is why we don’t go out and feed upon people in the street or total strangers. The energies run negative. We want positive and powerful energies. We also want to avoid those with evil energies.

But to avoid live contact all together is to deny your vampire soul. Some try to say it is the vampire equivalent of becoming a vegan but don’t let that argument sway you – it is not the same thing.

And when your vampire soul doesn’t get what it needs you will go insane and your friends and family will have to put you away or bury you alive until you go into a blood free induced coma. And NOBODY wants THAT.

A few of the side effects of long-term Noncontact lifestyles include:

  • Skin becomes more sensitive to light and sun
  • Healing and regeneration slow down below even human levels
  • Depression affects 90% of vampires who live without human donations
  • Sexual drive drops drastically and in 75% of cases becomes nonexistent.
  • Memory problems
  • Intolerance to cold and desire to hibernate during the winter months
  • Inability to sleep soundly (day or night)
  • Hair becomes dull and thins, often creating bald patches at crown and over ears.

On the extreme end are a number of vegan vampires (yes, please do roll your eyes). The long-term risks are too great to even consider this lifestyle.  The need to face the fact that they can’t change what they are.  No, you can’t be human, even if you once were. Get over it. There is no reversal. Period. If you continue the vampire vegan lifestyle you will be dead or in a coma within 3-5 years.

Note: Blood substitutes such as Perfluorocarbon based are excellent at providing short term help BUT are not a long term substitute for the real thing. Vampires who turn to a LONG TERM all artificial diet (no animal or human blood) are have a 50% higher risk of blindness, insanity and heart failure.

~ Juliette

The Vampire Friend Diet: for My Regular Human Friends

My neighbor Kelly and I often hang out on the back deck of either her home or mine with a nice bottle of red wine. Our kids are close to the same age – middle school and high school.

Kelly has been through a lot in the past few years. Her husband was murdered. The sister of the man who killed Derrick gouged out Kelly’s left eye. She had to go through the trial and aftermath of finding the killer (someone was paid to kill her husband). But she has survived and thrived.

Talk about stress. My heart just breaks for her sometimes. Yes, my cold vampire heart – we feel and love just like everyone else. Don’t judge us because we’re not like you (if you’re reading this and NOT a vampire).

Oh yes, and Kelly has ghosts in her house. Ghosts give me the creeps unlike anything else, but I’ve come to term with Kelly’s ghosts. I haven’t mentioned them to her yet. I’m not sure how to even bring it up.

So back to stress. Over the past few years Kelly has been fighting with her weight. She has been frustrated to the point of tears. Once she told me she hated going out in public and never let anyone take her photo.

She often commented on my diet with almost no sugar or carbs of any kind. I told her it would make me sick. She said it was making her sick in a different sort of way.

By the way, Kelly doesn’t know we’re vampires but she knows something is up. I live on that sort of street where it seems “something is up” with every household. Anyway….

Recently she has lost a little over 50 pounds and is happy with her new perfect weight. Best of all she is keeping it off.

Kelly’s Vampire Inspired Way of Life (the vampire diet)

Simple rules

  • Write down what you eat
  • Track your weight on a chart
  • No sugar unless it is from hugs, kisses, or fruits (excluding fruit juice)
  • Drink your water. DO IT.
  • Keep portions small. Eat half of what you usually do.
  • Make sure all carbs are whole grain and have a high fiber and/or protein content.
  • Eat loads of veggies. Kelly steams them and eats them plain or with a touch of lemon. Sometimes she splurges with a tiny bit of reduced calorie Ranch dressing.
  • Keep meats lean and only have them at one meal per day.
  • Stay away from processed food. Yes you can have your bacon (what is it about regular humans and bacon?) but only once a week as a treat.
  • Find proteins in beans and tofu
  • And be like a vampire and eat loads of dark leafy things.
  • Cut back alcohol to the weekends.
  • MOVE  – go to the gym, take a walk, dance to the radio, stretch, don’t use your husband or kids as an excuse. Make them do it with you. Make them fix their own dinner.
  • Get your family on board with you. If not DO IT ALONE.

So there you go. I never thought I’d be doing a diet blog, but I love my friends and I want them to all be HAPPY, HEALTHY and LIVE LONG LIVES.

xoxoxoxo

~ Juliette

(Juliette and Kelly are based on fictional characters in an upcoming book in 2013-14 – More information and publication dates to come)