Relating to your vampire teen: Modernize your attitude along with your mouth!

“When I was your age…” you tell your vampire teen, knowing they’ll listen to your every world. Excuse me while I fall off of my chair laughing. If things were only that easy.  Most of us were the age of our children long before they were born; I’m talking 50-100 years or more.

The culture of my teen years is not the culture of my children.  I was 13 in 1873. People were still talking about the Civil War. My husband was 13 during the Civil War.  Even more distant is my BFF Elizabeth who was 12 in 1632. Samuel Pepys was watching Punch and Judy.

Modern teens still marvel at the idea that many of their parents had no computers in the home when they were teens and no Internet. When most vampire parents were teens there was no electricity, much less phones, recorded sound or shopping malls. How did our mother’s make it through the adolescent years without Target and Aeropostal? No really, I’m serious.

A few helpful hints for relating with and being actually helpful to your Vampire teen:

  • Keep up with popular culture – this one of the top survival tools for any Vampire, especially vampire parents.
  • Don’t be old fashioned. The phrase “When I was your age” will sink like a rock in water to your kids. Feel free to tell them stories of your youth – they will love and respect and understand you all the more for it. But don’t compare. We grew up in a different universe than they did.
  • Retro is cool for parties, decorating and clothing but not a cool parenting style – especially not for Vampire teens. Retro is the kiss of death in the modern world for our kids especially.
  • Modernize your mouth. Don’t used old fashioned terms when talking to your teen. Do not refer to your son and his popular friends as “Swells”. And whatever you do, don’t call them “Sheiks”.
  • Never act like things were better when you were young. It wasn’t better – it was just different. No, actually it was worse. A lot worse. Deal with your own insecurities – don’t pass it on to your teen.
  • Practice empathy by helping your child understand that it’s normal to be a bit concerned or self-conscious, and that it’s OK to feel grown-up one minute and like a kid the next.
  • You couldn’t wait for your first corset and bustle. Your daughter can’t wait to wear make-up and strapless sundresses. Guide your teens into good taste but let them be individuals (and be grateful bustles and corsets are not everyday wear anymore).
  • Read what they read. Keep up with the new world of YA literature. They aren’t reading Dickens unless they’re forced to. Today’s young adult literature is full of ridiculous vampires (always a real treat for us), violence, post apocalyptic worlds, draconian societies, Goths, fractured families, paranormal everything, and more sex and romance than we could have imagined when we were teens.
  • Let your child know that some things are best kept within the vampire community.In English Lit your teen should know he can’t say, “My dad was friends with Oscar Wilde.”
  • Be positive and encourage your Vampire teen to do the same!

~ Juliette

Seriously Mom? When Your Romantic Vampire Past Meets Your Teens

Pleasant Augustus Van Dusen.

Pleasant. He was anything but, for a long period of time. Then again, there was a time I thought I was in love with him. He was exciting and passionate. We lived dangerously as only well heeled vampires can.  We engaged in risky behaviors that bound us together forever.

We were Edwardian Vampires at the height of the dawn of a modern world, a true modern world. We were living in a golden age of vampire culture with the old rules giving way to a world with electricity and wonders that even we could never imagine.

I clearly remember the last time I saw Pleasant. I was the first time I could smile and say “No.” He begged me, and played with me. He charmed and flirted. I knew it was wrong, but I still wanted it, and for the first time I could resist. I had fallen in love with Teddy and found I could resist anything and anyone without a bat of my vampire eye.

I saw Pleasant again this year at the annual Vampire Ball, this year in San Francisco. Actually we don’t call it the Vampire Ball; we call it the Spring Ball. It is an elegant weekend affair with friends and family. Even kids. It is an old fashioned dress up kind of weekend that vampires so adore.

The kids were off with their friends, Teddy was off with his friends and I was mingling. I wandered over to a balcony with a magnificent view of the San Francisco Bay. The moon was full, a pale gray globe smiling back at me. And then, I heard a voice and felt his cool breath on my neck.

“Juliette. Beautiful Juliette.”

It was Pleasant. My stomach did a jump. I love my husband with all my vampire soul, so it was just a surprise to see this man who at one time had made my heart ache and my body turn into jelly….but that feeling was gone.

I turned to face him, my chest brushing against his, my face close to his. He wore rose colored glasses, so common among vampires with sensitive eyes. He slid them down his nose and smiled, that smile so hard to resist. His dark hair, still long was pulled back.

We embraced as old friends do, and then his hands attempted to migrate to my shoulder, my face, my hips, my waist.

We caught up on our work and families. Yes, he also had married and was now the father of a boy and a girl.  He stood close to me, his hand on the wall as if fencing me in. One hand on my waist. We talked so naturally as if it had been less than 40 years since we’d seen each other.

And then I heard a voice. “Mom?”

I turned to see my 16 year old son Garrett.

“Hi Honey.” I said, not skipping a beat. I’d done nothing wrong but the look on the boy’s face was, well, confused to say the least. I’d done nothing wrong but part of me screamed “BUSTED”.

“Pleasant, meet my son Garrett.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Said the smooth vampire, former lover of mine. “Your mother had been talking my ear off about you and your sister.” It was a lie, our conversation had turned to our very intimate past but…

“Uh, hi. I um met Jack. Nice guy. We’re playing tennis tomorrow.” Said Garrett, looking slightly uncomfortable. Jack was Pleasant’s 17 year old son. “Hey mom” he continued, “I wanted to see if you’ve seen dad?”

“In the observatory.” I answered.

And with that Garrett said “OK, be good. Don’t do anything stupid.” Then he turned with a shit eating grin and left.

My son trusts me and knows I’d never do anything wrong, but his reaction shocked me. Pleasant laughed. And we continued our talk, not about our wild past but about our futures and our children.

SO….What do you tell your kids about your past and past relationships, especially if sex was involved?

Not much. A few names maybe or funny stories, or when it is necessary a cautionary tale, but that it all you need to say. It’s your past. It is personal. You don’t have to or need to tell them everything. In fact if is best that you don’t spill all of your secrets.

  • You can teach your kids by giving them examples of other and your own examples without giving up your own privacy.
  • You are under no obligation to shock your kids and forever change the way they think of you for something you did in your own misguided youth.
  • It is none of their (your children) business.

~ Juliette

When Your Romantic Past Meets Your Teens

Pleasant Augustus Van Dusen.

Pleasant. He was anything but, for a long period of time. Then again, there was a time I thought I was in love with him. He was exciting and passionate. We lived dangerously as only well heeled vampires can.  We engaged in risky behaviors that bound us together forever.

We were Edwardian Vampires at the height of the dawn of a modern world, a true modern world. We were living in a golden age of vampire culture with the old rules giving way to a world with electricity and wonders that even we could never imagine.

I clearly remember the last time I saw Pleasant. I was the first time I could smile and say “No.” He begged me, and played with me. He charmed and flirted. I knew it was wrong, but I still wanted it, and for the first time I could resist. I had fallen in love with Teddy and found I could resist anything and anyone without a bat of my vampire eye.

I saw Pleasant again this year at the annual Vampire Ball, this year in San Francisco. Actually we don’t call it the Vampire Ball; we call it the Spring Ball. It is an elegant weekend affair with friends and family. Even kids. It is an old fashioned dress up kind of weekend that vampires so adore.

The kids were off with their friends, Teddy was off with his friends and I was mingling. I wandered over to a balcony with a magnificent view of the San Francisco Bay. The moon was full, a pale gray globe smiling back at me. And then, I heard a voice and felt his cool breath on my neck.

“Juliette. Beautiful Juliette.”

It was Pleasant. My stomach did a jump. I love my husband with all my vampire soul, so it was just a surprise to see this man who at one time had made my heart ache and my body turn into jelly….but that feeling was gone.

I turned to face him, my chest brushing against his, my face close to his. He wore rose colored glasses, so common among vampires with sensitive eyes. He slid them down his nose and smiled, that smile so hard to resist. His dark hair, still long was pulled back.

We embraced as old friends do, and then his hands attempted to migrate to my shoulder, my face, my hips, my waist.

We caught up on our work and families. Yes, he also had married and was now the father of a boy and a girl.  He stood close to me, his hand on the wall as if fencing me in. One hand on my waist. We talked so naturally as if it had been less than 40 years since we’d seen each other.

And then I heard a voice. “Mom?”

I turned to see my 16 year old son Garrett.

“Hi Honey.” I said, not skipping a beat. I’d done nothing wrong but the look on the boy’s face was, well, confused to say the least. I’d done nothing wrong but part of me screamed “BUSTED”.

“Pleasant, meet my son Garrett.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Said the smooth vampire, former lover of mine. “Your mother had been talking my ear off about you and your sister.” It was a lie, our conversation had turned to our very intimate past but…

“Uh, hi. I um met Jack. Nice guy. We’re playing tennis tomorrow.” Said Garrett, looking slightly uncomfortable. Jack was Pleasant’s 17 year old son. “Hey mom” he continued, “I wanted to see if you’ve seen dad?”

“In the observatory.” I answered.

And with that Garrett said “OK, be good. Don’t do anything stupid.” Then he turned with a shit eating grin and left.

My son trusts me and knows I’d never do anything wrong, but his reaction shocked me. Pleasant laughed. And we continued our talk, not about our wild past but about our futures and our children.

SO….What do you tell your kids about your past and past relationships, especially if sex was involved?

Not much. A few names maybe or funny stories, or when it is necessary a cautionary tale, but that it all you need to say. It’s your past. It is personal. You don’t have to or need to tell them everything. In fact if is best that you don’t spill all of your secrets.

  • You can teach your kids by giving them examples of other and your own examples without giving up your own privacy.
  • You are under no obligation to shock your kids and forever change the way they think of you for something you did in your own misguided youth.
  • It is none of their (your children) business.

~ Juliette

Vampire Hunters – Ignorance and Fear of the Unknown. Part 1

Tonight my daughter sat next to me while I was at the kitchen table attempting to do my nails. When I have wet fingernails suddenly everyone needs something. Anyway, she said down and said “I have to ask you something.”

“Ask away, anything.” I said.

“Are there really vampire hunters?”

“You saw the movie posters for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter?”

“It’s a movie mom. Jayden’s mom read the book. No, I mean real ones.”

My blood which usually runs cold turned to ice. “Yes, there are vampire hunters. That is why we keep our lives secret.”

“Why? Who are they?”

“The “why” is because they are ignorant. There are a couple of different groups. Maybe 3 or 4. They have different beliefs. Most of them never find or harm us, but they have.”

“Like that couple in New York.”

A month ago in upstate New York State a couple were found dead along with their baby. She was duct taped to the kitchen table, her heart cut out of her body while still alive. He was in the bathtub, his head in the sink. Their baby, only two weeks old was also found headless, his small heart torn from his body, his tiny skull crushed. The house had been torched. The killers were never found.

“Yes, they were vampires. The Circle is looking for their killers.”

Her eyes teared up. “Why do they hate us?”

“Because we’re different. It frightens them that we take their blood. They don’t understand what we give back to them.

Unfortunately it will never change. But we’re not the only ones. A lot of humans go through the same fear every single day. Anyone who is different and lives among the ignorant lives in fear.”

“I don’t get it,” said my child resting her head on my shoulder.

“Neither do I baby. Neither do I.”

Sometimes you watch them on the edge of anything and your heart jumps you love them so much.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

First bites…and fangs for lunch!

This evening I walked by my son’s bathroom only to see him inspecting his new teeth. At puberty their “teeth” start to come in. I hate the term “fangs”.  By the age of 16 those teeth are full retracting and functioning. But like sexual virginity you don’t want them to jump into it unprepared or tutored. They must be careful, at all costs and know what they are doing.

As soon as he saw me he turned 5 shades of red as if I’d caught him, well, you know.

“It’s ok.” I said. “You need to get comfortable with them. Learn to use them before you use them on a donor.”

“I asked Dad about it. I mean about, my first time and when. Um, mom, he gets all weird. I can’t talk to him about it.” He blushed again. It was so sweet.

“Your dad had a very traumatic experience when he became a vampire…”

“I know, but dads are supposed to take their son on the first, you know, the first time.” I could hear the frustration in his voice.

“I know honey. I’ll talk to him. If not I’ll take you.”

“I can live with that. Um, mom, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“When was the last time you fed on a donor, you know, blood from a human?”

“It’s ok.”

“Jeez, it’s like asking you when you had sex. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m sorry.”

“I got blood this afternoon. Friday afternoons are my usual time.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Fast, easy and always with someone I trust.”

I didn’t give him the full details. I am his mother after all.

Today I put on a simple dress. It was black. A form fitting column, with a patent leather belt and a V neck. I accessorized with a lush string of real pearls and pearl drop earrings. I clipped my hair up, the slipped on high black and white spectator pumps. Underneath was a very nice matching set of black lace bra and panties.

For lunch, I met my old friend Jack Anderson. Jack isn’t old, only 45, but he is a dear friend. Teddy and I have been doing things with Jack and his wife Angela for about 10 years.

Jack is a local attorney, for the politically savvy and those who wish their problems be kept secret. He charges a very high price for which his clients are happy to pay.

Jack is also handsome in a prep school, all American Jock sort of way. He is still in very good shape and had a zillion watt smile to go with is full head of dark brown hair flecked with white.

So we met, our twice a month Friday date at a trendy downtown restaurant.  We shared a nice bottle of Cabernet.  We had a small bite to eat. Jack didn’t say anything about my meal. It was small, and had no carbs (vampires can’t handle carbs). I can handle red wine and red meat.  But the main course would be after lunch. I ran my tongue over my teeth, keeping my fangs in check.

As we waited for the check I put my hand on his and purred, “You look good enough to eat.”

“Then eat me. I’m all yours.” He said with a smile.

And so he was all mine for the next 90 minutes. We went back to his office. His secretary, as usual was given the afternoon off. The rest of his staff was also out. He locked the door and turned to me.

“I want you Juliette.” He said with a moan barely escaping his lips.

I put my hand behind his neck and drew his face to mine. “I will have you Jack.” I whispered, grazing my lips across his neck.

He kissed me. I ran my hand though his hair and kissed back. Damn he could kiss. It took my breath away, knowing what would be next.

I stepped closer. Jack unzipped my dress. I undid his tie, unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it over his well built shoulders, and pulled his undershirt over his head. He was shirtless, as he yanked down my dress and pulled at the hooks on my bra. I pushed him onto the leather couch and undid the top button on his trousers and straddled his lap.

I locked his brown eyes on mine.

“Let me take you Jack, my darling, my dear friend.” I thought, putting the thoughts into his head, putting him into my trance.

My lips went to his neck. He let out a groan. He smelled so good. There was a hint of honey with jasmine in his hair. His skin was that of a man, and pure desire. My dear friend was in a trance.

Kissing his neck, I sank my teeth in hitting a hot pulsing vein.  It was like musky red wine, like a fine Zin,  and chocolate with a hint of sugar cookies and a bite of copper, black pepper and iron.

In his head I put images of sex and desire and lust that never happened. I also put the idea that he would never tell a soul about our “affair”.

I sat next to him, sated and full. He’d wake and feel like he’d ravished me. He’d also be tired as if he’d just donated blood, because he had.

I licked the area I’d punctured to make it heal with my natural antibiotic.

After a rest of 20 minutes, I whispered in his ear. “Wake up Jack.”

He smiled and closed his eyes. I got up. “Rest my darling. I’ll see you soon.” I kissed him again.

I’d left chocolates and raspberry juice for him. I knew, with all blood donations, that he’d need the extra sugar. I’d put the suggestion to eat and drink in his mind. One more kiss and I was off to home to change back into my jeans and pick the kids up from school.

Than evening my darling husband Teddy asked me “Did you see Jack Anderson for lunch?”

“Yes, I had a lovely lunch with Jack. What did you do for lunch?”

Teddy gave me a sly smile. “Mrs. Anderson.”

Yes, we don’t tell our kids everything. Nor do we ever have to.

Wishing you all lovely lunches and romantic evenings with the vampire you love.

oxoxo

Juliette

Musings of a vampire middle school kid…and don’t forget America’s Got Talent starts tonight!

My 12 year old daughter scanned me up and down then said “You’ve always been a vampire. You were never a regular human.”

I imagine there isn’t much regular about any humans, but didn’t comment on her choice of words. “You know I’ve always been a vampire, just as you have always been a vampire.”

“But nobody in Dad’s family were vampires?”

“Not that I know of. Just him. You already know this. What’s up?”

“Nothing” said my almost teenage child.

“No, tell me.” I said.

“Doesn’t that seem weird that dad used to be one of them?

“No, not really. It’s more weird to him.”

“I thought so,” said my youngest vampire child. “It must have been really weird for him.”

She couldn’t imagine in her young mind what a hellish nightmare my dear husband went through.

“Be he’s ok with it now. Right?” she continued, taking my wrist.

“He has us. Of course he is ok. Your father is a magnificent vampire.”

“Yes he is.” she said with a smile. “Hey America’s Got Talent is on! They have a new judge.”

“Howard Stern.”

“Can vampires be on that show?”

“Sure why not!”

– Juliette