About Those Werewolves

I get a lot of questions and blog traffic about Werewolves. Below are links to posts about Werewolves, my friendships, my not so good relationships with them, and general information, love letters, Werewolf teens and other related stuff.

Click on the titles of the posts to go to the post.

 

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There are many more posts with Werewolves on Vampire Maman. Just do a quick search on this site. I’ll keep adding more listings in the future to the Werewolf page on this blog (check the side bars) so keep checking back.

A walk in the woods and other night music…

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Musings on the California Drought, Frogs, Family Time and the Grammy Awards (and of course being a Vampire)

My brother Val stopped by at twilight for a stroll by the lake. We got the kids to put on their shoes and leave their crypts, excuse me, their bedrooms (as all teens, as you well know, have crypt like bedrooms) and come with us.

We walked along the dry path missing the tall green grass of last winter. The drought has reduced the ground to a gray brown clumps of dead grass. The grasses should be bright green and knee deep. The frogs should be calling out in their winter seasonal ponds. The only sounds are birds and cars. Nothing from the ground where the frogs live. I wonder where they are. Maybe dried up waiting like Vampires for the liquid of life to release them and bring them back from their ghastly dried up slumbers. Will they miss a generation of tadpoles because there is no pond to romance each other in and leave their eggs?

Anyway, it is easy to muse on frogs when their usual deafening night music is absent.

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My teens walk ahead, talking about their friends and school and of course music. The Grammys are going to be on. Only a few of their favorites have been nominated but they want to see it anyway.

Val and I walk behind shoulder to shoulder with private jokes that go back for years.

“Hey, I just discovered that if right after you take a donor, if you chase it with a shot of Jefferson’s Presidential Reserve Bourbon, oh my God, it is a bit of heaven mixed with the best sex you’ve ever had.”

“Who were you with?” I HAD to ask.

He laughed. I knew him too well. It always comes down to a woman (many many women.) He always chases his blood with shots of expensive booze. I mean we all do it, but he feeds more at night than I do. I do it when the kids are in school, meet with donors (as I like to call it) not take shots. Hey, like I’ve said before, we’re Modern Vampires, we don’t lurk around and steal into the bedrooms of strangers and do creepy stuff like that. We’re more civilized and have more fun when we hunt. Why brood when you can have fun or at least…whatever. There is no reason to ever brood.

We got back to the house just in time for the Grammy Awards to start. It was a lot of fun. Something for everyone. One thing that we liked was the fact that one or two artists didn’t win all of the awards (ok 3 or 4 did but still it is better than some previous years.) And this year the performances were good – even the bands/performers we usually don’t listen to. Pink was too much fun. All the old guys were out too. Carol King is not an old guy though – she is a force – an amazing talent. Just about everyone was good and it was fun. There were several bands we all thought should have been nominated. Maybe next year.

So that was my take on the Grammys. Teddy came in towards the end and had to let us all know what crap it all was (except Metallica.) He always has strong opinions on music. I have to admit Madonna was sort of scary and creepy (and a bit sad) in her cowgirl outfit and looking much older than any 55 year old women I know. Yoko was really scary too. If a Vampire thinks something is scary then it is scary.

We all thought the music teacher award was super cool! Go Music Teachers! We know who we’re going to nominate for next year!

Earlier Teddy was at the Kings game with old friends earlier in the evening. They lost (the Kings not the friends.) But the night wasn’t a total loss. Chased with beer rather than Bourbon. And of course friends. That is never a loss.

So a new week starts. I can only hope it will bring more fun and adventures.

Wishing you all a good week.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Lake Natoma as twilight (from the Vampire's little magic phone box)

Lake Natoma as twilight (from the Vampire’s little magic phone box)

What we talked about today – kidnappings, con-artists, safety, school and other assorted business

We’re in the car a lot so we listen to the radio and talk about the news and school and life…

This is what we talked about today:

STAR testing continues in school. We’re still talking about colleges. We’re talking about all the end of the year school activities (proms, dances, graduations, trips, grades.)

We’re talking about news too. Three girls were kidnapped and 10 years later escaped, with a small child in tow. It was good news and horrible. Good that they were no longer captives in Hell. Bad that they had to endure such Hell. It was horrible.

In the meantime my kids pointed out that some physic had told the mother of one of the girls that her daughter was DEAD. About a year later the mom died, never to know her daughter was alive. She died thinking her daughter was dead.

The Physic was the famous and very rich con-artist Sylvia Brown. She claims to see angels (give me a fucking break), ghosts and talk to the dead. If she starts in on Vampires…oh don’t even go there. For years I’ve been seeing people taken in by liars and cons like Ms Sylvia Brown.

Dear Ms Brown,

I have warned my children about people like you. You are a con-artist of the lowest order. You are cruel, selfish and opportunistic. Your kind disgusts me. You are a parasite who feeds on the hopes of grieving parents. There is a special place in Hell for people like you. You’re a piece of shit.

In the 1800’s there were a lot of con artists like Ms Brown. I thought by now people would know better. But when people are in grief and pain they’ll believe anything. The pain is so great that they’ll do anything to make it go away. I believe it was Pen and Teller who did a show about con artists who claimed to talk to the dead and disproved most of them. They showed how it worked. I don’t know why people believe. My father has explained it to me many times that some people need someone to follow and to tell them what to do because it is easier than making their own decisions.

Now hand me that box of rattle snakes Jethro. Anyway, one of my brothers HAS been to a church with snakes. He said it was pretty crazy – and I believe him on that one.

Next the kids mentioned “That singer who tried to hire someone to kill his wife.”

The lead singer of the metal band As I Lay Dying, Tim Lambesis was arrested Tuesday and charged with attempting to hire a hit man to kill his wife.

He was Post-Metal and supposed to be on the Warped tour. My daughter said he was a Christian so she was surprised to hear he’d done what he did. I said a lot of Christians do horrible things just like everyone else. It was sad. He threw it all away and nobody knows why. He had kids too. So sad. My son said it was sad too because he brother was in the band too. Maybe they’ll find another singer, maybe not. Please lovely readers of this blog no comments on religion PLEASE. It was just a simple observation. 

From there Clara talked about the bad hygiene among kids at middle school and the need for good bras. Some of the girls don’t know about bras. Where are their moms? Young girls need bras that fit, especially if they’re doing sports and have big boobs. The kids mentioned “flopping.” Sorry for the visuals…there were even more descriptions but I won’t go into details. Just for any parents out there …. PLEASE guide your kids to wear proper underwear and to use soap at least once a day. They need to brush their teeth too. Remember, if you ignore your teeth they’ll go away.

We talked about TV. Weird stuff. On Monday we all became comatose and watched TV together on the couch like puppies. I’m not saying it was to be enlightened. It was pretty  mindless. OK we watched Hawaii Five-O and it was creepy because it was about a couple who were abducting girls and keeping them prisoner – and in the news three girls who’d been abducted had been found. Just like that.

And THEN on CSI tonight they featured ghosts and serial killers. More weirdness. It was fun and we all got a good dose of much needed brain drain. Most important it gave us time to just pile up in one big heap of cuddling and dogs and cats and kids and spend time together. And it led to more conversations about all sorts of things (yes, we do talk while we watch the magic picture box.)

After that the usual conversation about why there are so many serial killers from Northern California came up. I could do an entire blog about that subject. Holy crap. From the Zodiac to Richard Allen Chase to the Unibomber. Sick and twisted and scary. Same with abductions. We always wonder.

I started to tell my children about stranger danger when they were just toddlers. I told them that nobody, no matter how they threatened could hurt mommy and daddy. I told them that anything anyone told them would be a lie and to never forget that. We’ve all told our kids that. We all have. We shouldn’t have to but we do. And we keep telling them that.

Then we wondered what roller rink was in Modern Family this week. Orange? Fountain Valley? We’ll have to look that one up. We spend a lot of time in roller rinks. No long afternoons in the sun.

From there we discussed the best way to get glued off stones off of a skate dress without cutting it up. Goo-Gone seemed to work the best. Now we’d need a gallon to get 400 flat back crystals off of a skate dress (for dance).

We went back to physics and the like. Most people I know who’ve had experiences with the paranormal keep it to themselves. When it is real it is held close, like love.

Most of the paranormal and physic stuff people tend to enjoy is just for fun. A horoscope or a card reading. I can read palms and used to read Tarot cards and Ouija boards. It was all for fun. Tarot cards can be a guide, but only that. Don’t be fooled by smoke and mirrors and other such parlour tricks. Follow your own heart and don’t follow false prophets. So I tell my children. I’m proud to have raised a couple of skeptics, just like my dad raised his kids.

On the other hand we thought it would be really cool to create our own set of Tarrot cards. Stay tuned.

Almost everyone I know has experienced something along the lines of the paranormal, but it ghosts, or an answered prayer or a hunch or a vision – but they keep it close, personal and it is theirs. They aren’t cons. It is theirs and theirs alone to live with and learn by. And if they share it is out of their hearts. They don’t hurt others with false hopes, bull shit and lies.

Garrett asked if Werewolf blood really tasted like bourbon and I told him yes. You have to be straight with your kids. I also told him not to get any ideas because it could get him seriously injured or killed.

Not much else happened except a few conversations about how good cranberries are and about a birthday party coming up this weekend and how I MUST go online and get the right gift certificate for Allie. OK I’ll do that.

We fool around and play trick on this blog – but we know what is real and what is right and what is horribly wrong and what is truly evil. There are a lot of things I don’t believe in but I do believe in evil. And I do believe in good and in hope – and so do my kids.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Note: I’m back to 15-20 minutes per post tops. Busy days and nights. So if it sounds like rambling it is.

Vampires LOVE Technology (plus America’s Got Talent and Cocktails)

Last night the kids and I missed America’s Got Talent because we had to go to the Apple Store.

Seems that the iPod touch went on the blink and 12 year old Clara was left in a churning void of darkness and isolation (translation: not being able to message her friends).

The Apple Store is always bright and clean full of nice young people that make me feel positively ancient. Mind you, I’ve been using Macs since the mid 80’s (1980’s, not 1880’s) because I do things other than blogging and tattling on my kids and husband (I have a real profession). Don’t jump on me…I also have a PC. Two Dells in my house, 2 Macs, 2 Android phones, 1 iPhone, 1 iPod touch.

In my house Adobe isn’t a building material it is a software and a way of life.

Oh sure, my spelling and grammar can leave something to be desired (thank you Aunt Liz for pointing that out, now go stalk someone else you old vampire bat)… but…where were we?

Vampires like their computers and their toys. Honestly, do you think we’re going to wait around for centuries in musty damp old castles waiting for passers by to just happen upon us? I think not.

So, back to the story. We recorded AGT and will watch it tonight along with the new show. I hear there as a pig on it.  Looking forward to that one.

Teddy might fix cocktails but he has been spending more time sitting with us on our couch, like a vampire version of the Simpson’s couch (but, I’m glad to say Teddy is no Homer).

Wait…hold on…Teddy said he has a new cocktail

Vampire Head Rush

2 oz Bourbon

12 oz Dark Beer (Teddy Suggests something like Downtown Brown)

2 oz Blood

Pour all in a tall glass over ice.

Clara calls it a head rush because she says it looks like something out of a toilet. Middle School humor.

Oh well. Have fun.

~ Juliette

Addition or maybe a correction…we DID see it tonight. I wasn’t too impressed by anyone EXCEPT the young man who did stand up comedy. He was really really really good (maybe he is a vampire – we do ok at comedy. Really. I mean it. Come to one of our events.)

My Vampire Dad

It ran after me through the woods. We’re not invincible like regular humans try to make us out to be. We’re a lot more fragile and vulnerable than anyone knows. The brush scraped my bare arms, I couldn’t breathe. The wound in my neck had reopened. Falling to my knees I held my throat…

I bolted up on my bed. My daughter was curled asleep against my side in a coma like state (like most kids her age, she sleeps like a log). My son Garret was in the window seat reading.

“You ok mom?”

“I don’t know.” I told him, putting my hand to my neck. It was hot to the touch. I felt like someone had hit me across the neck and head with a baseball bat.

My eye went to the dresser where a large exquisitely beautiful flower arrangement took over the room. I could smell the flowers, purple, yellow, white and pink. Roses and lilies.

“It’s from your friend Adam.” Said my Garret.

I lay back on the pillows. Adam sent the flowers to say he was sorry or to say he was going to kill me. Adam is the werewolf who attacked me on Thursday. I’d known him for 15 year but never knew he was a werewolf. He never knew I was a vampire, but when he found out he almost killed me. It was an impulse on his part, but it injured and frightened me more than I could have ever imagined.

I looked at my two children and felt sick. What if I’d died? For vampires do die.

I sat up, telling Garret to turn on the fan. Its 106 F degrees out today. No time to be overheated.

“Hey mom? Should we be like afraid of werewolves? I mean after this happened to you?”

“It was an unfortunate mistake.” The words came from a familiar male voice with a slight English accent. My dad had come. The old vampire himself. “You can’t blame yourself Juliette or your friend. We take our chances living in the shadows. It is how we’ve survived so long.”

“He tasted different. Nobody ever told me werewolves tasted different. I just thought it was him.”

Dad sat on the edge of the bed and stroked my sleeping daughter’s hair. “I don’t even know how a werewolf tastes but I hear it’s like a fine whiskey.”

“Bourbon.” I said. “We were friends.”

“And you should still be friends. We would lose our souls if we didn’t care about our food. It is the vampire who only feeds on strangers that has the cold heart and the feelings of always being alone.”

My dad is always there for me. I looked at his face, a face I never tire of. The face of a distinguished 45 year old man, with blue eyes with the wisdom of centuries. Four centuries to be exact.  He was born in 1612 to an old vampire family in London. He is wise but young at heart. My dear old dad.

He wasn’t always just my dad, but like a father to so many, both vampires and regular humans. When my husband Teddy was made into a vampire against his knowledge and will, it was my father who decided not to let him die. It was my dad who taught him how to be a vampire and how not to forfeit his soul to dark forces or be seduced by the renegades who’d turned him.

My dad had known Teddy when he was a regular human. Teddy had worked for him. My father was the one who had the huge and elaborate engagement party for him, just a few months before he’d been taken out of his old world and put into ours.  And Teddy wasn’t the only one. My dad helped so many vampires over the years in a way only a dad can help.

For vampires, as well as regular humans, know that it isn’t just blood that makes one family. It is love and caring and commitment.

I held my father’s cool hand, just as I had as a child over a hundred years before. “I love you Dad.”

“I love you very much dear daughter.”

Tomorrow is Father’s day. I won’t linger on the dead beats that don’t deserve to have the dick that they used to make their kids.

My heart and love goes out to all of the men who are there for their kids – be it their biological children or children they love, no matter what blood runs in their veins. You are truly blessed and we are blessed to have you in our world.