Little Hagrid, being a Vampire at Halloween, and Friends who aren’t Vampires

Despite the fact that I have become she of the empty nest and have no children at home for Halloween fun, I’m finding myself extremely busy this October.

I’m retelling a story from 2015 today. Last year my husband and I went as Simon and Garfunkel for Halloween. It was absolutely the best, but I’d almost forgotten the time we went as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Maybe this year I’ll finally go as Little Hagrid.


creepies

Little Hagrid, being a Vampire at Halloween, and Friends who aren’t Vampires

“Teddy and I have been invited to a Harry Potter Party. Why in God’s name our friend chose that theme I’ll never know. Anyway, I was thinking I could find some ugly baggy old sweaters and we could go as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. What do you think?”

He looked at me with shock. OK almost shock. He looked at me like I was the weird kid asking him is he ever ate cat brains, or something along those lines.

“I thought about going as Little Hagrid. Get it? Little Hagrid because he was huge and I’m only 5’4″ and Hagrid was about seven feet tall.”

I've got the moves like Hagrid

I’ve got the moves like Hagrid

I could hear the gears turning in his brain. Vampires going to a costume party? Vampires dressing up like Harry Potter characters? Little Hagrid? WTF?

“It is always funny when a woman wears a beard,” I said as I put more drawings out on the table. “Here are the rest of the sketches. If you like them I’ll finish them up.”

Oh right, this is where I back up and tell you what is going on. Dr. Austin Durant, history professor and sometimes weird Vampire Hunter, but all around normal guy, had hired me to create some drawings for him for a book he is writing. He likes my work, plus I lived back then, in the middle of the 19th Century, granted I was a child at the time.

I shouldn’t have asked him about the costumes. Back to the drawing board, literally.

“The Weasleys would be funny,” he finally said. “I could see that. It would be easy too.”

I smiled minus my fangs. We both turned at the sound of a tap on the door.

Standing there, as impeccably put together and flawlessly handsome as ever, was my friend Jack.

“What are you wearing to the Harry Potter party?” I had to ask. He and his wife aren’t Vampires but they’re going too.

“We’re going as Dobbie and Malfoy,” he said with a wink. Damn, that man was handsome, with blood like the finest Cabernet. Obviously Jack isn’t a Vampire, but a dear friend. I’m his Vampire.

“Oh my God, that is brilliant,” I said.

“I’m going to be Dobbie,” he said. Then we both laughed. You have to admit that is funny. Jack is six feet tall after all.

I introduced Austin and Jack. Austin intuitively knew that Jack wasn’t a Vampire. Austin knows a lot of things, but as cocky as he can get he has never really come to terms with the fact that Halloween has come to his life every single day of the year.

About five years ago Austin Durant started restoring historic structures (old buildings) and has since run across all sorts of nasty old things like dead bodies, dried up old shadow creeping Vampires, and ghosts. My brother Aaron, who is an attorney and a Vampire, is Austin’s attorney and in turn hires Austin for various tasks, like removing unsavory things from buildings.

Anyway, enough of background material and back to Halloween.

Jack fawned over my sketches and marveled at my talent. My stomach started to rumble (nobody could hear it but I could feel it.) I’d have to wait for lunch. Lunch was Jack.

Life is full of such moments.

Halloween is almost here and I have yet to figure out costumes, put up decorations, figure out logistics of parties, and most of all think up a yearly Halloween theme for this blog.

In the meantime you can read these wonderful horror anthologies. Available at fine online booksellers.

 

 

Or you can cut and color paper dolls for Halloween.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Or go look for Halloween Hotties.

Pin-Up-Halloween

Jack had to get back to work. Austin looked at the drawings for a bit more. His next class wasn’t until 2:00.  I watched him look at the details I’d added, just small things like a cat sitting in on a roof, or a style of hat.

He looked up and straight into my eyes, a dangerous thing if I’m in the right mood, which I wasn’t. “You could offer so much. You were there. You have gone through history. You’ve seen it your own eyes.”

“Do you think anyone would listen?” I asked him that obvious question. “Nobody cares about history. They would rather keep making the same mistakes over and over. They’d rather do what is easy. They’d rather not know the truth.” I locked his eyes with mine. I could feel him feel a slight panic. That was intentional. He brought out the Vampire in me. You know, I can’t be all touchy feelie nice all the time. “Dr. Durant, I don’t want to end up a dried up husk of a Vampire underneath one of your buildings so I will continue to keep my thoughts to myself.”

Then I thought about my blog… HA HA HA. But I don’t have to worry about you. Out of my seven regular readers at least two of you are Vampires and I’m sure at least one is a Zombie.  Anyway…

“You could share with me, just me,” said Austin.

“Yes, I could. I’ll draw it for you. I’ll tell you my stories so you can get a better understanding, as long as you only use my words for a stepping off point, or for inspiration.”

“Thank you Juliette,” he said to me. He looked calm and cool. I could feel him wanting to sweat it out.

“So what are you going to be for Halloween?” I had to ask.

“I don’t know, maybe a Vampire.” He flashed a dimpled smile. I knew why the girls all liked him.

So that is it for now. Have fun and well, have fun. That is the goal for today. And do something creative. And hug your kids. And talk to them. Always talk to your kids.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Oh, one more thing. For more about Austin and his story see the side bars for the Austin and Elizabeth story links. For more about Jack just search for his name. Yes, this is the old back story ploy not that anyone will really look.

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Cut and Color Spooky Halloween Fun from Juliette aka Vampire Maman

After yesterday’s post with the wonderful art of Jason Kemp, I thought I’d entertain you today with some of my own pen scratchings. Just for fun.

Halloween is almost here so to get you in the mood here are some color-and-cut Halloween paper dolls I drew a while back. I’ll have a few new spooky paper pals in October.

Ghost Party

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Punkin Heads

punkin-heads

punkin-heads suits

punkin-heads suits 1

Werewolf and Mermaid

h_creatures

h_creatures_evening

h_creatures_magic

Zombie Girl

zombie_girl doll

z_girl

z_girl 2

Alien Girl

space girl

alein togs 1 alein togs 2

Have fun,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Cut and Color Halloween

zbznner

A few years back I featured my own Cut and Color monsters and mythical creature paper dolls for Halloween. Here they are again (the entire set) for those of you who might have missed them the first time around. Have fun!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Space Alien Girl

space girlalein togs 2alein togs 1

 

Stylish Zombie

zombie_girl dollz_girlz_girl 2

Punkin Headspunkin-headspunkin-heads dresses 1punkin-heads suitspunkin-heads suits 1

Werewolf and Mermaidh_creaturesh_creatures_magich_creatures_evening

Ghostie

ghostie

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

 

Ask Juliette: Pre-Halloween Vampire Edition

Welcome to Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire), a regular Thursday feature here at Vampiremaman.com

If you have questions about anything – parenting, marriage, relationships, romance, Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, gardening, wine, paranormal stuff, life, work, or anything send your question to juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com (figure it out because I have to write it this way to keep the trolls away)

scary_stuff

I never see Vampires so how do I know you’re real? You always write about going out to bars or events, but I never see anyone who look or acts like a Vampire. What gives?

I’ve never been the kind of Vampire who dresses like Lily Munster or Elvira. Seriously, can you imagine if I showed up at school dressed like that? My kids would never forgive me. Plus it just isn’t practical. I’m more of the little black dress and pearls type, or most days jeans and white button down shirt with some great vintage jewelry, or jeans and a hoodie, and of course flip flops. Vampires love their flip flops. Sorry to blow your bubble about the flowing dresses and impossible cleavage. And my finger nails are painted with a sort of sparkly pale pink polish – not red or black.

But seriously, if you had to go to the grocery store would you dress like someone out of the middle ages, or a porn film? It is the same for when Vampires shop for food. Or if you went fishing or hunting would you wear a tight black dress with everything you have spilling out? Of course not.

Wanna know a secret? We look just like you, only slightly better.

 

halloween cat 2

 

What are some fun Halloween movies that aren’t gory slasher films? I’m looking for something to help my family get into the orange and black holiday spirit.

This is my quick list:

  • Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
  • Corpse Bride (2003)
  • Bell, Book, and Candle (1958)
  • Shaun of the Dead (2004)
  • Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
  • The Innocents (1961)
  • Every Simpsons Halloween Show
  • The Addams Family (1991)
  • Phantom of the Opera (2004)
  • The Body Snatcher (1945)
  • Laura (1944) This movie has NOTHING to do with Halloween but Vincent Price is in it, it is hecka creepy, and a GREAT movie.
  • The Hitch-hiker (1953) A truly creepy movie directed by Ida Lupino

halloween cats

What do you give out on Halloween?

I’ve given beers to dads more than once. Once I ran out of candy and gave a kid a can of Diet Coke. I try to give out good stuff that kids like. This includes anything with Skittles or Chocolate.  Kids don’t want pretzels, canned corn, or pencils.

halloween cat 1

If you could sleep with any horror movie actor/character who would it be?

First of all I have to say that this is purely fantasy and I’m happily married.

It would be Mick St. John (played by Alex O’Loughlin) out of Moonlight (2007-2008). Damn he was sexy. You can now see Alex O’Laughlin on Hawaii Five O but it just isn’t the same. I have to admit that this is one of FEW Vampire shows/movies that I’ve ever liked.  Hey, Alex, take your shirt off again.

Moonlight

 

And Vincent Price.

I added this image of Vincent Price just because he is smoking HOT.

I added this image of Vincent Price just because he is smoking HOT.

And here he is again.

gene-and-vincent

Come on, you have to admit there is more hotness in Vincent Price than just about anything anyone can think of.

And don’t even think of asking me about any real-life Vampires because I won’t answer THAT.

 

halloween cat 2

 

Didn’t you make ghosts out of Tweenkies one year? Would you share that again?

Yes I did. I won’t eat the damn things but I was in a pinch a few years ago when I was asked to bring something to a Halloween party. These were a big hit. All you do is get Tweenkies and decorate them with icing. Booooooo.

TWEENKIE GHOSTIES FOR HALLOWEENIE! ONLY EAT IF YOU DARE! BOOOOOOO

TWEENKIE GHOSTIES FOR HALLOWEENIE! ONLY EAT IF YOU DARE! BOOOOOOO

 

Alright, that was fun. And remember if you have ANY questions about anything, or just need information, and/or advice ASK JULIETTE. 

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

Scary Halloween Color-and-Cut Fun

Halloween is almost here so to get you in the mood here are some color-and-cut Halloween paper dolls I drew a while back. I’ll have a few new spooky paper pals in October. In the meantime have fun.

Ghost Party

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Punkin Heads

punkin-heads

punkin-heads suits

punkin-heads suits 1

Werewolf and Mermaid

h_creatures

h_creatures_evening

h_creatures_magic

Zombie Girl

zombie_girl doll

z_girl

z_girl 2

Alien Girl

space girl

alein togs 1 alein togs 2

Have fun,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Juliette Roasts Pumpkin Seeds (an easy how-to with pictures)

At my house, after we carve our Jack-o-Lanterns, we roast the pumpkin seeds.

Contrary to popular opinion Halloween isn’t great for Vampires due to the over abundance of sugar. I’m not kidding. We don’t handle it well. So it makes sense that pumpkin seeds are the perfect Halloween treat (other than fresh blood but that is a different post).

Some methods of roasting pumpkin seeds are full of steps. Well step no more. This isn’t the fox trot or Dancing With The Stars. It is just pumpkins seeds. It is EASY.

Juliette’s Way to Make Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

  1. Clean seeds after removing them from your pumpkin. Just scoop them out with your hands or a spoon. Remove all the gunk. Rinse them off.
  2. Spray your baking stones or pans. I use either my thousand year old well used black and beaten pizza pan or a well seasoned stone (I used to have a Pampered Chef stone but somebody broke it). I have better pans that I use for other things – but the old ones seem to work better for this sort of thing.
  3. Heat oven to 300 degrees F
  4. For 3-4 cups of cleaned seeds mix in a couple table spoons of olive oil and season to taste. I use a lot of garlic and a touch of seasoned salt. And why yes, Vampires DO eat garlic. But mix up your flavors with herbs, chili powder or Tobasco sauce. Whatever floats your ghost.
  5. Spread seeds on pans (one layer) and bake for 25 – 60 minutes. It all depends on how wet your seeds are. Figure it out as you go along and check every 10 minutes or so. When seeds are dry and crisp take them out. Feel free to taste while you cook (the sign of a good cook). PLEASE keep checking so you don’t burn the seeds. They will be dry and crisp when ready. And I mean dry, not chewy like an apple, but dry like a potato chip.

This isn’t a recipe for the exacting anal cook but it always turns out wonderful pumpkin seeds for me.

Happy Halloween!

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Clean out your pumpkin.

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Carve it. Admire it. Smile because it is so happy and scary!

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Clean your seeds.

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Turn oven to 300 F.

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Season and mix.

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Put seeds in the oven.

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Go admire your Jack-o-Lanterns.

Nom nom nom! Seeds are ready and crunchy and yummy! And good for you!

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Happy Halloween!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman