Teens

Half a dozen teens ate Tide Pods.

About half a million people tweeted about it.

Twenty million believed that half a million kids were eating Tide Pods.

Thirty Million posted memes on Facebook about kids eating Tide Pods.

Those same people are now criticizing kids for speaking out against school violence because they believe that all teens eat Tide Pods.

This is what is wrong.

Everyone WANTS to judge.

Nobody THINKS about these things.

Nobody asks the teens they actually know about this shit.

People are stupid.

I’m sick and tired of it.

STOP EMBRACING IGNORANCE.

THIS is why Vampires sleep during the day. It has NOTHING to do with sensitivity to light. It is because people are stupid and they rush to embrace ignorance.

How do we change this?

Listen to young people for a change. They are our future. Listen to old people. Sometimes they have good ideas and nobody listens to them anymore.

Or maybe just shut the fuck up for a change and THINK before you post. Listen before you post. Have an original idea.

Go back to bed. Clean out your garage. Take a deep breath. And realize that there are different ideas and opinions out there to every problem.

This is for ALL issues.

In June all of the kids I had watched grow up will now be voting.

ALL OF THEM.

I wish them the best. 

They are our future.

We’ve let them down.

Let’s hope they won’t let us down.

 

Talk to your kids. Listen to them. Don’t talk AT them. Talk with them. Engage them. Force the conversations. Spend time with them. Hug them. Love them.

Don’t parent by accident. Your children deserve more than that.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

What we talked about today

I used to write a regular post “What we talked about on the way to school today,” but now that my kids are in college we get in our talks whenever we can.

We are wondering why the public is obsessed with an obscenely rich twenty year old woman, with parents who have done nothing but exploit her for their TV shows. Now this young woman is pregnant and we’re expected to care? The child will grow up without anything normal about it’s life. It will be part of the freak show, that is no different than the exploitation of the Dionne Quintuplets. Have a kid and exploit it. When it turns thirteen start giving it lip injections, butt injections and a 25 year old lover. That is no way to raise a child. And she is no role model for any girl or young woman. And unfortunately she has no good role models.

Some rapper is trying to prove the Earth is flat. Again, why is this guy getting air time?

If NFL players or anyone else wants to kneel then let them. So let’s get pissed off because they are exercising their right to free expression. The first priority of our POTUS is to rant and rave about it like a rabid dog. Oh just fuck it all idiot man and go on to issues that matter. Or better yet, try educate yourself on WHY people are protesting by kneeling. You might not agree with them but you MUST agree with their right to protest.

Forget all of the bullshit above. Why isn’t our government doing anything about Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida, Puerto Rico and other places hit so hard by recent storms. But that is easy. That is about normal, regular people. That isn’t any fun.

This morning I received phone calls from my daughter’s college. The sheriffs were on campus, there was a lock-down, then there was nothing. Then I received a second message. The sheriffs were on campus to apprehend someone. There was a lock down. I texted my child. No answer. I texted again. No answer. My head was spinning.

Then finally I heard from her. It was a different facility, in a different part of town from the main campus. It was in a place where she goes to class one morning a week.

A guy with two guns came on campus. He was going to shoot someone. When he saw the sheriff officers he dropped the guns and ran. He was caught. Nobody was hurt.

Why did this guy have guns? Why are there still shootings at colleges, schools, and workplaces? WTF?

I told my husband that I’m going to be a ghost for Halloween. We’re going to a big party. A ghost costume is easy and fun. He just looked at me with no response. A Vampire would be tacky. I’m not dressing up like a “Vampire.”

We are living in a time when everything we see or hear pisses us off.

I’m also having…I don’t even want to say this…I’m writing a book and my mind has gone blank. The current chapter sucks. I will continue on. I can rewrite it. I can get my mojo back. I can and will move forward.

So Clara and I decided to make a list of things that don’t piss us off.

  • Dogs (most dogs)
  • Cats (except my cat who peed on my dining room table.)
  • Trees
  • Fall bulbs
  • Coffee
  • Wine
  • Cool antique silver patterns
  • Comfortable shoes
  • Cute comfortable shoes
  • Cute dresses
  • Sweaters
  • Sweatshirt
  • Cool Fall Weather
  • Chickens
  • Wild Turkeys
  • Deer
  • Birds
  • Squirrels
  • Warm clean necks
  • Clean ears
  • Art pottery
  • Blue vases
  • Art
  • Music
  • Singing along to the radio in the car
  • Puns
  • Vampires
  • Werewolves with a sense of humor
  • Sunsets
  • Sunrise
  • Otters
  • Good friends
  • Books
  • My daughter’s friend decided to stay in the arts because that is where her passion is – rather than go into science (somebody else’s passion.)

That is a start. Deep breath. Relax before you’re head explodes. Or if you’re a Vampire just sit still and retract your fangs thinking of being on a quiet foggy beach with nothing but the sound of the waves, and nothing on the schedule.

I give up. Maybe. Not quite but my head is hurting. I’m done with the outside world (until I see a mushroom cloud, but then it won’t matter anymore.)

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Write ALL THINGS VAMPIRE

 

 

 

 

Relating to your vampire teen: Modernize your attitude along with your mouth!

“When I was your age…” you tell your vampire teen, knowing they’ll listen to your every world. Excuse me while I fall off of my chair laughing. If things were only that easy.  Most of us were the age of our children long before they were born; I’m talking 50-100 years or more.

The culture of my teen years is not the culture of my children.  I was 13 in 1873. People were still talking about the Civil War. My husband was 13 during the Civil War.  Even more distant is my BFF Elizabeth who was 12 in 1632. Samuel Pepys was watching Punch and Judy.

Modern teens still marvel at the idea that many of their parents had no computers in the home when they were teens and no Internet. When most vampire parents were teens there was no electricity, much less phones, recorded sound or shopping malls. How did our mother’s make it through the adolescent years without Target and Aeropostal? No really, I’m serious.

A few helpful hints for relating with and being actually helpful to your Vampire teen:

  • Keep up with popular culture – this one of the top survival tools for any Vampire, especially vampire parents.
  • Don’t be old fashioned. The phrase “When I was your age” will sink like a rock in water to your kids. Feel free to tell them stories of your youth – they will love and respect and understand you all the more for it. But don’t compare. We grew up in a different universe than they did.
  • Retro is cool for parties, decorating and clothing but not a cool parenting style – especially not for Vampire teens. Retro is the kiss of death in the modern world for our kids especially.
  • Modernize your mouth. Don’t used old fashioned terms when talking to your teen. Do not refer to your son and his popular friends as “Swells”. And whatever you do, don’t call them “Sheiks”.
  • Never act like things were better when you were young. It wasn’t better – it was just different. No, actually it was worse. A lot worse. Deal with your own insecurities – don’t pass it on to your teen.
  • Practice empathy by helping your child understand that it’s normal to be a bit concerned or self-conscious, and that it’s OK to feel grown-up one minute and like a kid the next.
  • You couldn’t wait for your first corset and bustle. Your daughter can’t wait to wear make-up and strapless sundresses. Guide your teens into good taste but let them be individuals (and be grateful bustles and corsets are not everyday wear anymore).
  • Read what they read. Keep up with the new world of YA literature. They aren’t reading Dickens unless they’re forced to. Today’s young adult literature is full of ridiculous vampires (always a real treat for us), violence, post apocalyptic worlds, draconian societies, Goths, fractured families, paranormal everything, and more sex and romance than we could have imagined when we were teens.
  • Let your child know that some things are best kept within the vampire community.In English Lit your teen should know he can’t say, “My dad was friends with Oscar Wilde.”
  • Be positive and encourage your Vampire teen to do the same!

~ Juliette

Relating to your vampire teen: When I was your age…

“When I was your age…” you tell your vampire teen, knowing they’ll listen to your every world. Excuse me while I fall off of my chair laughing. If things were only that easy.  Most of us were the age of our children long before they were born; I’m talking 50-100 years or more.

The culture of my teen years is not the culture of my children.  I was 12 in 1871. People were still talking about the Civil War. My husband was 12 during the Civil War.  Even more distant is my BFF Elizabeth who was 12 in 1632. Samuel Pepys was watching Punch and Judy.

Modern teens still marvel at the idea that many of their parents had no computers in the home when they were teens and no Internet. When most vampire parents were teens there was no electricity, much less phones, recorded sound or shopping malls. How did our mother’s make it through the adolescent years without Target and Aeropostal? No really, I’m serious.

A few helpful hints for relating with and being actually helpful to your vampire teen:

  • Keep up with popular culture – this one of the top survival tools for any vampire, especially vampire parents.
  • Don’t be old fashioned. The phrase “When I was your age” will sink like a rock in water to your kids. Feel free to tell them stories of your youth – they will love and respect and understand you all the more for it. But don’t compare. We grew up in a different universe than they did.
  • Retro is cool for parties, decorating and clothing but not a cool parenting style – especially not for vampire teens. Retro is the kiss of death in the modern world for our kids especially.
  • Modernize your mouth. Don’t used old fashioned terms when talking to your teen. Do not refer to your son and his popular friends as “Swells”. And whatever you do, don’t call them “Sheiks”.
  • Never act like things were better when you were young. It wasn’t better – it was just different. No, actually it was worse. A lot worse. Deal with your own insecurities – don’t pass it on to your teen.
  • Practice empathy by helping your child understand that it’s normal to be a bit concerned or self-conscious, and that it’s OK to feel grown-up one minute and like a kid the next.
  • You couldn’t wait for your first corset and bustle. Your daughter can’t wait to wear make-up and strapless sundresses. Guide your teens into good taste but let them be individuals (and be grateful bustles and corsets are not everyday wear anymore).
  • Read what they read. Keep up with the new world of YA literature. They aren’t reading Dickens unless they’re forced to. Today’s young adult literature is full of ridiculous vampires (always a real treat for us), violence, post apocalyptic worlds, draconian societies, Goths, fractured families, paranormal everything, and more sex and romance than we could have imagined when we were teens.
  • Let your child know that some things are best kept within the vampire community.In English Lit your teen should know he can’t say, “My dad was friends with Oscar Wilde.”

~ Juliette

Vampire Maman has to vent a little

OK – this is just a vent….I’m sure all of you other vampire parents can relate. My 12 year old (7th grade, middle school) comes home today and shows me a video on Youtube of some crazy woman who had HORNS, freaking horns implanted into her head. And she had her face all inked up and all sorts of totally jacked up surgery stuff done to her face THEN she had the nerve to call herself a “Vampire Mom”. WTF? This is the shit our kids have to put up with.

I might be older than all of the other parents (I was born in 1859 a regular youngster by vampire standards) BUT I don’t look weird. I’m 5’4″ tall, brown hair in a messy bob, hazel eyes, freckles, sort of a girlish face. Yes, I wear make-up but not Halloween makeup. I wear jeans and sweaters and carry a Coach bag. I’m not a freak. You are not a freak either – if you haven’t already, watch the video, see the photos and talk to your kids. I’m sure they’ll think you are over reacting but it is better to be safe and keep the lines of communication open than have your child live in shame and disgust from the actions of a few freaks.

I guess I should just laugh it off but…it just pisses me off.