Burning Question #48: Almost there… sort of… and Vampires

Fortunately is isn’t that cold at my house. Right now it is in the high 50’s (F) and pouring gallons of rain.

That said, today is Saturday and time for Burning Question #48. Yes, I’ve been doing this for 48 weeks and almost forgot about it this week. Sorry folks, I drew a blank today.

As my cat would say, “I got nuttin.”

Only two more to go before we get to 50. Feel free to have a nice discussion or leave comments, or questions after you’ve answered the poll. I’m curing up in a chair and going back to sleep.

And hey, thanks for dropping by to answer another BURNING QUESTION. Vampires. This is sort of a Vampire kind of blog so let’s think about it again. Or you can think about something else. Just answer the poll and leave a comment.

Burning Question #48: You see a Vampire…?

 

I’ll see you next Saturday for Burning Question #49. It will be a real BURNING QUESTION.

 ~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

State of the Onion

More onions are grown in California than any other state.

We also grow more garlic than any other state.

Fortunately (trivia time) California Vampires have become immune to any irritation caused by garlic.

The same goes for holy water, silver, mirrors, and crosses.

Actually none of those things ever bothered Vampires. It was just something to make people feel better and get some sleep.

So whatever state you’re in, or state of mind, have fun, and add a bit of garlic and onions to it.

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~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Mystery at the Museum (and a WTF moment)

St. Stephen was said to have been stoned to death by a group of pissed off folks who didn’t like his brand of religion. Some say he spoke Greek and took care of Greek speaking widows stranded in a world of Romans. St. Anthony is the  Patron Saint of Lost things which would make him the patron saint of most busy moms and Vampires.

So this brings us to a mystery.

Aparrently Tony and Steve were bros and spent some quality time together before Stephen’s untimely and tragic death. Anthony died later of natural causes (not a lost cause, even thought he is the Saint of Lost Causes.)

In a painting by Italian artist Bicci di Lorenzo (1373–1452) Anthony and Stephen are hanging out together with somebody else. Look in the far left bottom corner. What is that? Seriously what is THAT? Is is a dog? A pig? A demon? A lost animal of unknown origin?

Anthony and Stephen hanging out together with a mysterious animal.

 

Seriously, WTF is that?

What is that animal? Is it friendly? Is it a pet? Is it Anthony’s or is it Stephen’s. Did Anthony adopt it in when Stephen died? Did they find it at the local shelter?

We looked around some more and found other interesting things. Oh, by the way, those are stones on Stephen’s head, apparently left over from when he died.

Around the same time another Saint was running around with his weird looking dog.

I’m not making fun. I’m always noticing odd looking dogs and cats in old paintings. Animals aren’t always easy to draw, but sometimes I really wonder about this sort of thing. Did artists draw certain styles because it was fashion, or did they draw that way because it was the only way they knew how to draw? This was way back right out of the dark ages, so maybe they just didn’t have the vision/skill/desire to make it look like a photograph. Yes, that was a joke I know they didn’t have photos back then – just like yesterday when I went to the store with my shirt on inside out and no less than four people informed me that my shirt was inside out.

We also saw this bit in the same painting, way up on the top corner. What was THAT ANGEL up to? Hmmmmm. No doubt he was up to no good.

My brother Val said we could just ask Tellias about it. He was around back then. He might know. But what fun would that be? Plus I know I’d get a long tale of BS and off the subject tales from Tellias.

As we roamed the museum I heard my daughter say to my husband, “Mom is having one of her religious experiences. Just let her look for a while longer.”

I look at the paintings and I can feel the breezes, hear the voices, see into the souls. I a room full of Rodins I can feel the touch, the kiss, the embraces, and the passion of the pieces. The rest of the world is lost and gone and doesn’t matter at that moment that I am with art.

We spent Monday at the Museum.

And we survived.

We more than survived. We came to life, again, and again, and again.

Thank you to Anthony and Stephen. Let us know what that critter is when you get a chance.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

You too can join the ranks of the undead.

Oh my

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This one was too good to keep to myself.

And it is “do it yourself” no less.

Yes, I know this is a silly thing for kids who are monster fans (from the 70’s) but it ties into this blog.

I get a lot of people visiting my blog wanting to know how they can become a Vampire. Oh boy.

It isn’t a simple answer. You can be born into it (which is rare) or you can have someone, preferably a friend, turn you into a Vampire.

If anything goes wrong, and it usually does, you could either lose your life, or worse lose your soul.

Yes, close 90% of Vampire conversions are failures. Seriously. I kid you not.

If it works you don’t just wake up one night and say to yourself, “blood for breakfast sounds good.” No, it isn’t that easy. It is a slow, horrible, painful process, and that is if you get someone with natural talent and expertise (like me) to convert you.

Then once you get converted, with your soul more or less intact (but changed), and a shadow soul, the adjustment begins. No more donuts. Think of yourself on the strictest diabetic diet ever created. You’re cold to the touch. You can go out during the day but your light sensitivity is extreme. You’re clueless.

How are you going to get blood out of someone without making a mess?  How do you know how much to take without killing your donor? The clueless part is the worst. Other than that it isn’t a bad gig, but … there are so many moral and ethical issues involved. This isn’t weird guys in opera capes surrounded by beautiful women. This is regular life among the undead, in jeans and sweaters, and socks that don’t match (we too have to clean cat boxes.)

If you’re lucky, someone, a more experienced Vampire, will be assigned to help you out. Hope you’re lucky or you won’t last long.

And to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t want everyone becoming Vampires. It is something special. It is our world. The warm blooded folks have their own world and own insanity.

Anyway, that is it for today. I just thought the ad was funny and wanted to share.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Five Minutes of Urban Fantasy (x 2 so that makes ten)

Urban Fantasy and Graphic Novels go hand in hand, like Hansel and Gretel without the witch, or maybe with the witch. OK with the witch.

Anyway…

I had a note pad, a pencil and a couple of minutes to spare today.

FIVE MINUTE GRAPHIC NOVELS.

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I hope you feel enlightened by this experience.

Have fun.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Maman Fall TV Lineup: New Shows

I just got word from my friend Thomas Kent that the fall listings for V-TV are coming out. Below is a sneak peek of some of the new shows.

 

Dark A.M. with Andrew

Late night show with Singer Andy Todd. What will you be watching at 3:00 a.m.? Fill the void with Andy. He features interviews with Vampire leaders, musical guests, authors, bloggers, nocturnal pet experts and more. With Andy everything is always smart, unexpected and entertaining.

Rating: TVPG

 

Night Crawlers

Reality TV with a down home fishing champion Werewolves. Buddy and Laverne deal with parenting their litter of four, plus running a fishing camp and championship boat yard. the first episode takes place with their crazy friends during a full moon on the lake. A run under the stars has never been more fun. You’ll howl laughing with this good-natured crew.

Rating: TVG

 

Dead Hunt

Find out who the deadliest Vampire Hunters are and what you can do to stop them. This hard edged show identifies threats and where they live. Hard hitting news and information about something that concerns everyone in the Vampire community.

Rating: TVPG

 

Fangs

What happens when four young Vampire friends move to the big city? A lot. Follow the hilarious adventures of new Vampires Quintin, Kylee, Melvin, and Claudette as they navigate their new world.

Rating: TVMA 

 

Open Season

Detective Amanda Tinkerton solves the murders that nobody else can. Only her colleagues have no idea that she is a Vampire. Partnered with Werewolf Alex Black, the two go into the dark corners where they not only hunt criminals, but the criminals hunt THEM.

Rating: TVPG

 

Katrina’s Krazy Kitchen

Have fun with Katrina in her paranormal kitchen with sidekick Michael the Goblin. We promise no small children will be in their ovens, but you’ll see other surprises that will make your mouth water. So come on down and cook with Katrina in her Krazy Kitchen.

Rating: TVG

 

Reality Stalk

With so many reality TV shows on now,  Vampire producer Jack Van Lees wondered, “how fun would it be to drop in for a surprise visit?” Vampires Jack,  and his friends Lauren, and Woody make night time visits to shows like Naked and Afraid, Survival and Fast N Loud.

Rating: TVPG

 

Crypt Hunters

Hosts Ollie and Rachael take you on a weekly tour of Crypts that are now available for the old fashioned Vampires (and aren’t we all a little old fashioned.) This is a fun filled show full of grave yard trivia, Vampire history, and a bit of interior design, entertaining, and real estate know how. Meet the crypt keepers and the Vampires who want to downsize into their own traditional crypts. As Ollie would say, “This is bloody fun for everyone.”

Rating: TVPG

Crypt Hunters

Crypt Hunters

 

Dark Art

In the late 19th Century the artists colony in the beautiful Monterey coast of California was flourishing. The artists had unbridled passions for their art…and for each other. Ellie and her lover Gerald aren’t just artists – they’re Vampires. This epic drama highlights the art, the beauty of the California coast and the darker sides of the art and artists of the 19th Century.

Rating: TVMA

 

Have fun,

Juliette aka Vampire Maman