Listening is NEVER Useless. Thoughts on parenting, and other 2020 challenges.

I decided to take a day off and garden, and do fall cleaning and organizing.

Sure I’m a Vampire but what do you want me to do? I don’t spend all of my time stalking unsuspecting people and drain them of their blood. I don’t sleep upside down all day with bats. I don’t sit around doing ancient rituals. Who the hell does that? Get off of my back.

Yesterday my husband, daughter, and I took the day off from all news, politics, and pandemic crap and went wine tasting. We are fortunate to live 45 minutes away from one of the most spectacular wine regions in the entire universe. It was a perfect day.

Tomorrow my daughter is going back down to Southern California.

Yesterday was a perfect day. Today I am so stressed out that I feel like my head is going to explode.

Having a so-called empty nest doesn’t get you off the hook for parenting. My kids are so stressed out by the state of the world, school, work, and everything else that it is stressing me out. As a mom I am their sounding board. I am not complaining. I’m just feeling useless because there is nothing I can do but listen. Listening isn’t useless I tell myself because it is true. Listening is NEVER useless. Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.

I’m just so damn worried about them. They’re smart. They make good choices. I’m good with that. That said, they are angry. They are discouraged. They are questioning everything.

With the election so close and no good choices for young people (just two old guys most of them don’t really support) they are frankly disgusted. They are loud and clear about their opinions.

Then there are our family dynamics to deal with. Mine are easy.

In my family we talk a lot about everything. We keep in touch. My kids talk to me or text me every single day. They don’t have to. They want to.

Don’t even get me started on those who think “self care” will solve anyone’s problems. Really? Right now autopilot is what is going to save me.

My fucking bank just merged with another bank (it was taken over by another bank) and now that is a huge cluster F. The lines at the bank are horrible. It took me five hours online to get everything half way working.

If anyone out there thinks being a Vampire or something other than what you are will help you please THINK AGAIN. Nobody is exempt from the modern world unless you want to be come crazy living up in the hills or out in the desert “off the grid.” Or you could live in a crypt, but in that case I doubt if you have a bank account. Shadow creeping Vampires who live in crypts and other unsavory places usually have dusty old attorneys who take care of their money, or they have a stash buried somewhere, or they just steal everything they need. Don’t even ask about how Zombies are living right now. Holy shit, this is 2020 and there is still a few months left for the Zombies to poke their rotting heads out of their hidey holes.

But I digress, we need to get back to parenting.

Right now is an extremely difficult time for parents with children of all ages.

My nephew and his wife just had a baby. I haven’t seen him yet. Any other year I would have been right over to San Francisco to meet my new little nephew. No such luck.

Our kids from pre-school to graduate school can’t go to school. Everything is online. Yes, there are a few online classes but that is more of the exception. Many trade schools are closed. Job opportunities are few and far between for our young adult kids who aren’t going to school.

At the same time our adult children are applying for college, jobs, trade schools and other programs. They feel totally screwed by the generations before them. To their credit they are doing better than they know. They’re strong. They’re getting organized. They’re loud. They’re fierce. I hope they will be force to be reckoned with.

My message to parents and to young people is DON’T GIVE UP. That is my message to everyone. Old, young, normal, unusual, weird, creative, uncreative, or whatever you are – DON’T GIVE UP.

I know I must sound like I’m rambling. My work at the museum is all online these days. I’ve been there in person once since March. I’ll go again on Friday and meet with a young person I’m mentoring. How cool is that? Extremely cool. I’ll be giving online tours with a docent friend. We’re over the moon happy about that.

So I’m fine. Teddy frustrated is fine. Our kids are frustrated but fine. My brother Aaron’s kids are frustrated by fine.

I guess the whole purpose here, aside from my gratuitous TMI venting, is to say that we’re all feeling a lot of pressure as parents. Just be there for your kids. Talk to them, but most of all just listen to them. Support your kids. Support their dreams.

SUPPORT THEIR DREAMS. Now is not the time to shoot down dreams or tell they can’t do something. Now is the time to just listen, be it by phone, text, Zoom, in person, or however you’re communicating these days.

I might get to gardening. I’ve spent the entire day in Zoom meetings, checking election results, taking care of banking BS, and being there for my kids. I’ll get out in the garden in an hour or two. My poor dog is feeling totally ignored.

Thanks for dropping by. Wishing you all peace of mind. Stay safe. Stay calm. Stay positive. Wear a mask. Talk to your kids. Listen to them. Check in on those who might need extra help, and those who are alone. Don’t allow anger to get the best of you – leave that for the brainless Zombies and nasty Ghouls.

Take care,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

What We’re Talking About Today: Disgusting People, School, Road Trips & Looking to the Future and THE DOG.

Trigger Warning: We will be discussing politics, Star Wars, Star Trek, and being rude and maybe using bad language. I’m also going to ramble on and be long winded because this is my blog.

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Trigger, in his natural state, before being dressed up. And yes, he was stuffed after he died. I find the taxidermy aspect kind of creepy (and I’m a Vampire for heaven’s sake)

For years I’ve been blogging about what my kids and I are talking about.

You all know my mantra is talk to your kids. Seriously, no matter how young, or how old they are, you need to talk to them, and with them, and listen as well. Pretty much no subject should be off limit.

First of all, the age of #MeToo, which should have come long before now, Alex Acosta resigned in as the Secretary of Labor due to his lax dealings and deals with the King of Perverts Jeffrey Epestein.

As the Epestein story unfolds we’ve talked about all of the stories about how rich and powerful men think it is OK to rape girls. Someone was calling them “underaged women.” These are CHILDREN we’re talking about, procured for the disgusting habits of rich men. Yes, folks this has been going on for centuries and it has to stop NOW.

All of the news about nasty creepy men who abuse, threaten, rape, and buy girls is so disgusting. They are not under age women – they are GIRLS and CHILDREN. What asshat thought of the term underaged woman? Obviously someone who wants to excuse the rich and powerful of their disgusting crimes. Anyone would would be friends or associated with any child abuser makes me sick. So many people know about powerful people who buy girls for their own perverted purposes. To me these people are equally guilty for not saying anything. These girls will suffer their entire lives with love self-worth, health problems, and in ways most of us can never imagine. Pedophilia is a crime for everyone – no amount of money or religion can make is acceptable under ANY circumstance.

My kids and I have also talked about teachers, Hollywood figures, and others who also take advantage of young people for their disgusting urges. No excuses. Consenting adults means ADULTS. Any adult who can’t control themselves around children needs to be locked up FOREVER.

We also talked about those horrible adults, including parents, who put their daughters out there, more or less selling them to the highest bidder. We see it all the time. It is all over the place. It is disgusting.

I’ve spent over twenty years drilling it into my children’s heads not to make fun of how other people look but we ended up talking about THIS PHOTO.

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All of the young folks are passing it around laughing saying they can’t get it out of their heads. This is a bad photo all around.

Who the Hell would give their children such creepy old fashioned hair cuts. This is not cute. They look like they’re wearing helmets. It is MEAN Mrs. Acosta. And NOBODY dresses their children in matching outfits anymore. You might think it is cute to dress your children like weird matching twin dolls out of The Shining but everyone else is wondering WTF?

By the way, there are entire web sites and blogs devoted to bad family photos. Look it up. The holiday photos are exceptionally funny.

Mike Pence looks exceptionally short which is weird because he is 5″10′ tall in real life, but we’ve decided that NOTHING in Washington D.C. outside of the Smithsonian Museums has anything to do with reality. On the other hand Mrs. Acosta could be close to seven feet tall. We just don’t know. And hey, Mike Pence, what are you doing so close to a woman who isn’t your wife. Do you feel tempted? Come on Mike, tell us. We won’t blab your secret (yes we will but that’s ok.)

We seriously think men who use the excuse “I won’t be around other women, who aren’t my wife, because it is out of respect for my wife, and I don’t want the temptation” are moronic perverts. Seriously dudes, if you can’t be left alone in a room with another woman, or be around women without the possibility of dirty thoughts then you need to be locked away FOREVER. This isn’t the 12th Century. Get with it guys. Stop thinking with your dicks.

Vlad, the King of Vampires (you all know Vlad) was locked in a crypt for three hundred years, missed the 18th – 20th Centuries, and he is still more advanced than these guys when it comes to women. Then again, Vlad is a Vampire, so of course he is socially advanced. Vlad is also 5″10′ but nothing like Mike Pence. Vlad’s leadership skills are far better. Vlad is also sexy and cute AF but that is another story.

It seems that religion, so called family-values, perversion, violence against females, and politics are all dancing around the May Pole together, and happily, or unhappily falling into bed with each other. Yes, that is what I’m talking about with my kids. I don’t want them to end up so sick and twisted as all of the rich and powerful who choose to use and abuse their power in the name of money, religion, and politics.

Those who turn their backs when they see this behavior, adults harming children, are just as guilty as those who do the actual harm.

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Now from one soap box to another…

We just saw the new Star Trek series poster. Forget the actual series, just look at the poster. It is beautiful. And THE DOG. Look at THE DOG.

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I also have a thing for men in long coats. It goes way back.

My kids didn’t grow up with Star Trek or Star Wars, at least not a lot. They were not around for the first wave of shows/movies and it isn’t on their social radar. But, they live in The United States of America so they KNOW enough. They’ve seen enough of the movies to the extent where we can talk about it.

I guess I could say my children are more of the Hunger Games generation.

There has always been a contrived battle between those who like Star Trek more and those who like Star Wars more. Come on folks, get off it it. They are both part of our now collective folklore. Get over it.

The thing that has made both of the series of stories so successful isn’t that they take place in space, but in the characters and their relationships with each other. Especially with Star Trek, it is all about friendships.

But there have been fails, horrible fails with both.

With the Star Trek series the first show was something different. It was fun. It was campy. People remembered it.

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Then came the first Star Trek movie in 1979 “Star Trek – The Motion Picture.” It was HORRIBLE.

But then, wait, something sort of wonderful and about as wonderful and campy as it gets happened.

THE WRATH OF KAHN

I have a soft spot for “First Contact” from 1996.

The rest were ok. Fun to see with friends for no good reason. Then in 2009 “Star Trek” came out with CHRIS PINE. OMG talk about eye candy. It was a fun movie. We all liked it.

The next few were fun too, but the last one “Beyond” was so jumbled with massive explosions, special effects, and other violent nonsense that we didn’t even realize there was a story line.

But going back to Picard… I’ve tried to explain this to my kids who won’t take the time to watch it… “The Inner Light” episode of The Next Generation was a wonderful stand alone story. Picard has memories of another life where he lives in a calm and nice community, has a family, and lives a life different from his own. There is no explanation of where these memories come from. It just is what it is.

Now, not to skip it, we talked about Star Wars.

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I find the direction the “Star Wars” series has taken extremely sad.

The first three films are now locked into our culture and mythology, as hard and fast as Apollo, Aphrodite, and Hermes are locked into Greek mythology.

Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The Return of the Jedi (1983)

These three movies are what we think of when we think of “Star Wars.” The Return of the Jedi was a perfect movie. All three were magic.

Unfortunately all that followed (except one) were HORRIBLE. What the fuck were they thinking?

In 2016 “Rogue One” came out and surprised us all. It had good actors, a good solid story, and great characters. After that the following movies all went down hill crashing and burning all the way down.

My daughter’s boyfriend described “Solo” this way: It was like someone asked a thirteen year old kid off the street where Solo came from and made the lame answer into a movie.

Way to go Disney.

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We’re kind of done with the Avengers too. The movies got too confusing with too many  disjointed story lines, too many characters, too many stupid things, too many fights, and not enough good lines or a real plot.

But hey, you already knew all of this. It is what we’re talking about this morning.

Aside from political scum bags we don’t personally know, and movies we have other things on our minds.

Both of my kids are looking for places to live next year. They’re filling out applications for renting houses or town houses. I get a million questions about frustrating questions on the applications. They’re adults now for sure, but sometimes need help in  navigating it all.

Fall with a new school, and graduate school is looming on the horizon.

An empty nest is looming on the horizon for me. I have big plans for building an office/studio space for my writing, art, and other business. I’m going to get rid of so much stuff that it would make even Marie Kondo cry, or extremely proud.

We’ve all been on the airbnb site so much that we’re going to shut it down. For the next two months there will be road trips up and down the state of California both for school and fun. In a few weeks we’re also blasting up to Spokane, Washington for the 2019 National Figure Roller Skating Championships.

My kids and I are talking about a lot of things. We always do.

No matter how old they are keep talking with your kids. It is easy, and free. Plus it will always make you feel good.

I’ll end this off with a photo. My daughter is at the coast for the weekend. No matter where she goes she sends me photos. This  one is of a bobcat she was walking down the road by the house she is staying in. Good stuff.

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~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking Back on Being A Parent

When I started writing this blog I was dealing with Middle School and summer camp. Now I’m helping my kids navigate lease agreements and finding the best coffee grinders.

Over the years I’ve talked about navigating school and social situations. We’ve gone to concerts. I’ve seen first love come and go, but I’ve also best friends, and bonds that will last the ages.

In the great big world my children and I have discussed school shootings, the environment, and politics. We’ve been to political events so the kids and their friends could have that experience and see what it was all about. We’ve known what it is like to be different. We’ve known what it is like to be part of a group.

Every family is different, but I feel, I know there are some things that all parents must do.

So many people think schools should raise their children and teach them everything. Or many think going to church (God forbid) will teach their kids all they need to know about being a decent person. But they miss the point.

As a parent it is YOUR responsibility to raise your child. Not just feed them or clothes them but to share your world with them.

The number one most important thing I can say to parents is to TALK WITH YOUR KIDS. I don’t mean lecture them or talk at them. I mean talk with them and LISTEN to them. Discuss things with them.

Encourage your children to be “big picture” people and go beyond their family, friends, and school. One day they’ll go out into the big wide world. You don’t want our little birds to take wings and get eaten by the first raptor who comes along. Teach them to see, to watch, to question, to be aware.

Teach your children to have their own opinions. Not everyone is a leader, but you don’t want you child to be a follower. They need to know that it is alright it they take their own path. If they choose to be with others that is OK but it must be their choice.

And yes, they should be allowed to make their own choices but you, as a parent, need to guide those choices. If they hang out with a bully then STOP that friendship cold. Let your child know why. If they have a friend you don’t like and the alarms go off then STOP that friendship. You’re the parent. Teach your kids to have real friends, not just kids to hang out with. Teach them NOT to give into negative peer pressure or bullies. Talk to them about it. Always encourage them to take the higher road. Even tiny children understand that to some extent.

Early on explain to your child how important reputation is. It is easy to lose one’s reputation but it is extremely difficult to get it back. Kids lose their reputations by hanging out with kids who offer nothing but trouble. Don’t think you can save someone by being good. They will only drag your kid down with them – and they won’t care. I know this is harsh but I’ve seen it happen too many times.

At the same time teach your children that good friends are a treasure. Teach them that they can have friends that are a different sex, a different color, a different sexual orientation, a different faith, and just different. Diversity is good. I speak from experience. Acceptance is awesome. Love is awesome. Friendship is awesome.

I love my children’s friends. I have grown to love their parents too. As much as I wail on about things I don’t like – I have been honored to have met so many great kids and awesome parents. Woo Hoo.

Laugh with your children every single day.

Encourage your kids to always be curious.

Raise a child who will be a life long learner.

Raise your children to be better than you are.

Raise your children to be better than you are. Even today my daughter showed me that she is a much better person than I am. I won’t go into details, but I can be an asshole. My child gives no second chances (like her dad) but she is smart, kind, and thoughtful. She has tact. Don’t get me wrong, most people think I’m the sweetest thing in the world (even other Vampires) but I can be… well, not always the person I should be. I’ve raised my child not to be like that.

I’m not the perfect parent. I think I’m a better parent for not reading copious amounts of parenting books. Shirley Jackson’s Life Among the Savages is a must read. Real parenting stories are the best – not theory from experts and cold clinical studies. Besides, every child is different. Every parent is different. Every family is different. What works for me might not work for others. But I have to admit I am so proud of the kind of mom I’ve been.

Hey, how many kids can say “my mom blogs about vampires.” Not many.

No matter what you do, make your kid proud of you, and be proud of your kid.

Love them.

Encourage them.

Talk with them.

TALK.

Keep the communications open. Be positive. Be understanding. LISTEN. Let them know that YOU are their safe place.

Parenting doesn’t stop at middle school, or even high school. It is a life long job, even when they move out, gets jobs, and start their own families. Let them live their lives but let them know that you’re always there for them with your love and your understanding.

~Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Parenting Young Adult Vampires – Quick Notes

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Even after your kids are grown, or in this case sort-of-grown, you still worry about them.

They graduate from high school, turn eighteen, vote, drive, get jobs, go to college, and they’re adults.

Sort of.

They’re also maybe drinking, having sex, forming strong opinions, dabbling in drugs, staying out late, and exploring the dark side of culture.

They’re exploring all sides of culture. That could be a good thing. A mighty good thing.

And if they’re Vampire kids you have a whole other thing to deal with.

It is one thing if your younger child starts to hunt a little on their own, but it is a whole new game when a young Vampire turns into an adult.

This isn’t something you can push off on the old traditions. Our old timers didn’t make the rules in the 1950’s. They made the rules in the 1750’s, and those rules don’t work anymore. Just like with any other parent you need to keep up with your kids, be open and honest, and teach them the rules of the 21st Century Vampire.

Your young adult children are going to start collecting their own sets of donors. Make sure they choose wisely. Guide them. By guiding I don’t mean vague references like “don’t  pick criminals,” or “watch for people with Hep C.” They need to pick safe donors. Safe means people with calm personalities. That means people who live private lives. It means people who can mentally and physically withstand being a donor.

You also need to continue to talk with your kids and be open with them. Donors are not friends. They are not serious lovers. They are not someone you will fall in love with. Sure you can care. Of course you SHOULD care, but not in a romantic way. Never get involved romantically with a donor. Also do not turn your donors into Vampires. Do not EVER let your donor know you’re a Vampire. These are tough conversations you need to have with your young adult children.

Encourage them to attend seminars about avoiding, and dealing with Vampire Hunters. They have enough going on with trying to find jobs, go to school, and juggle their activities, and start to live on their own, without having to deal with someone trying to put a stake through their heart, or worse. Make sure their only heartbreak is the kind they sing about in pop songs, not literally having their heart ripped from their body.

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This is just a quick thought for today. Just a reminder. I’ll go into more depth on the subject later.

In the meantime, no matter how old or young they are, talk to your kids. Talk with them, not at them. Listen to them. Engage them. Laugh with them. Share with them. Learn from them. Yes, learn from them – you’d be surprised what they can teach you.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Throwing It ALL Away – Teens and Consequences

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I consider myself a serious parenting blogger, because I believe parenting is the most important job you can ever do.

So please let me rant a bit…

Parents PLEASE take the time and talk to your children, the younger the better, about consequences of their actions. Tell them: Something stupid you do NOW can have consequences that will last your entire life. It can RUIN your life.

As soon as we started the whole elementary school adventure we realized that it is never too early to screw up the next 5, 10, 20 years – or even screw up an entire life based on bad and impulsive choices.

I often wonder why parents don’t talk to their kids about life, consequences, and taking personal responsibility for their actions. And it is like training a dog. You have to start early. Seriously.

You might be asking, What brings this on Juliette? 

Yesterday I was told about a seriously icky event at the High School. One of the boys in my daughters AP English class (these kids are all seniors) was talking about how he had to get a new car because someone had crapped in his car.

The boy accidentally left a couple of the windows in his car cracked. He parked it in the school lot. While he was at sports practice that afternoon someone (it was assumed two individuals) broke into his car and pooped on the seats. Then the poppers spread the shit ALL OVER ALL of the seats. The poor kids could smell it as he approached the car. He said if it had just been a bag of poop it wouldn’t have been that bad but it was spread all over the car. A tow truck had to be called to haul the car away because there was no way he was going to drive the car home. His parents said they were going to have to get a new car because the cloth seats couldn’t be cleaned. It was an old car, used by every kid in the family already. But still, this should not have happened. The poor kid wonders who could have hated him so much to do such an awful thing. What kind of sick mind would do this? It could have been someone he knew. It could have been someone from another school. It could have been some sick fucks walking by and seeing the open windows.

Here is where my advice to parents comes in:

If the persons who pooped in the car are caught there will be consequences. They will be caught because every kid in the school now knows about the shit-and-run event. Security cameras recorded it. They can see who it was, their car if it was involved, or what building they came out of.

If it was students there will be consequences that will screw up their entire future. If it is a senior he will not graduate (or will not be allowed to walk on graduation day), if it was a younger student he will be expelled and made to go to a continuation school. There might be criminal charges. If the perpetrator is 18 he will be charged as an adult. Even a 17-year-old might be charged as an adult. If caught these kids can kiss all of their college applications good-bye. They’ll be kicked out of a good school, and maybe have a criminal record. Not to mention that NO GIRL will ever want to date these guys – and the list goes on. Did I mention lawsuits and damage charges?

One disgusting event, that was no doubt spur of the moment, and done on an impulse will ruin the lives of these kids if they are caught.

Was it worth it? Hell no.

That is just one example. Teens and young adults are impulsive. It is how their brains work. But they can control those impulses. You NEED to talk to them about it.

It all comes down to what parents always tell their kids. If your friend jumps off a bridge that doesn’t mean that YOU have to jump off of the bridge too.

Kids need to know that they don’t have to jump off of that bridge. They can say NO. If the friend gets pissy then it isn’t a friend they want to have.

At our high school parents and students are told over and over and over, that if they pull pranks they will not graduate. This includes the famous senior pranks that usually include creative ways of vandalizing the school (oiled hallways, interesting pain, pictures of body parts burned into the grass on the Quad, etc.)

If you act like an asshole, if you hurt others, if you blindly follow, if you do things out of spite,  if you DON’T THINK before you act – there will be consequences.

Need help? Here is a list of stupid things teens can and will do.

Unprotected sex: A baby will change the life of any teen. So long college. So long friends. So long exploring the world before you choose if and when you’ll have a child. Don’t give me some happy story of a teen who had a baby and the fairy tale that ensued. That is the rare exception, not the rule. Unprotected sex can also welcome HIV and other nasty things to your child’s life.

Making decisions based on friends: How many kids have rejected once in a lifetime college, trade show, job, internship, and other opportunities because a boyfriend or girlfriend begged them not to go. How many have turned down fantastic opportunities because they did not want to leave their friends. You know what? Those friends are going to leave and do what they want and not think twice about it. Or the friends will be losers who don’t care. If they are REAL friends they will encourage your child to fly and be successful. Real friends will keep in touch no matter how far away they live.

Dropping out: Dropping out of school, be it high school, college, a trade school or a great opportunity isn’t anything to be taken lightly. I can’t tell you how many people I know who dropped out of college the second or even third year in – then found out later how hard it is to go back. Usually is isn’t financial reasons – it is because they can’t look into their own futures and see how hard it will be. Just finish. You’re young. Finish now or when you’re thirty-five you’ll be kicking yourself.

Relationships: If it is indeed true love it can wait. If someone loves you they will never ask you to put aside your dreams. Someone who love you will encourage you to follow your dreams. Only selfish, and controlling people will ask you to turn down your school, job, or any endeavor that is your passion.

Cults (religious and political) and other abusive relationships: These are the people who prey on young individuals. They break kids down, then make them feel good and wanted. They look for kids who are lonely. They look for kids who are needy. They want to turn your child against against everything they know. If ANYONE tells your child to turn against their family and friends then it is time to RUN. RUN FAST.

Doing shit out of spite: If you do anything out of spite to get back at parents, teachers, friends, siblings, school – it will only come back and HURT YOU. That is what is usually called coming back and biting you on the ass. I’ve seen people marry someone for spite because they were mad at their parents – believe me THAT never ends well. So impulsive, and the only one hurt is the one who wanted to get revenge.

And most of all CRAPPY FRIENDS: You can help friends but you can never bring someone up who doesn’t want to be brought up. Crap friends will only bring you down. If someone wants to move up they have to want to move up and do it on their own. Some kids are rescuers. Some are followers. I encourage all parents to PLEASE discourage your kids from being rescuers or followers. It will only lead to things like kids shitting in cars. It can also lead to smaller things that can also get them kicked out of school, ostracized by other kids, and even arrested.

Yes, you are the parent – you CAN have control over who your child hangs out with. From an early age you have to teach them about how valuable their reputation is. It takes a second to lose one’s reputation but years to get it back.

One more thing. If your child wants ink as soon as he or she turns eighteen please guide them. Shitty tattoos last forever and remind one of how stupid they were. Good ones, by good artists, with good placement can be a joy. Remember, tattoos, like herpes, are there forever. Be smart (or start saving for a good cover up or laser treatments.)

I’m just ranting right now, but whenever I think of anyone doing stupid mindless and impulsive things that ruin their lives and the lives of others I wonder why they do it.

We’ve all heard of teachers who sleep with students then go to jail and never teach again. Was it worth it to be out of a job. Was it worth it to have years of education go down the drain? Was it worth it to be considered a pervert for the rest of your life?

Then there are the Brock Turners of the world. Turner was obviously smart (click here if you don’t know about the case). He had everything. He was good looking. He was attending Stanford University. He was a swimmer who might have been good enough to make it to the Olympics. But rather than being nice, and normal, he decided to be a violent, vile, and horrible the night he brutally sexually assaulted a girl at a party. One has to wonder if it was worth throwing all of that away to be the biggest asshole in the universe and harm another person?

How many kids would have given ANYTHING to go to Stanford, let alone have the other opportunities Turner had. And he threw it all away, and harmed an innocent person along the way.

What makes it worse is that his parents defended him. There is no defense for that kind of behavior. So was it worth it Brock? Why did you do it? Why where you such an asshole?

So talk to your kids. Tell them all of those cautionary tales of others who have fucked up their lives because of stupid impulsive acts.

That is it. And don’t tell me that it is hard. If I could do it then so can you.

I fucked up enough on my own – but, by my choice, I don’t fuck up when it comes to parenting.

It isn’t easy but you can do it. You’re a parent. That is YOUR JOB.

Now go hug your kids and talk to them. Don’t preach. Discuss. Share. Love.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

What we talked about on the way to school this morning

The ride to school with my teenager always brings up school, current events, and everything else.

“We’re starting existentialism today. I don’t know what we’ll be reading. But the teacher already called out kids before they made complaints that it was against their religion.”

Some devoutly religious kids and their parents have complained in the past about these books and the ideas they write about. That bugs me is that ANY parent would want their child NOT to be exposed to other ideas, including religion, philosophy, and well, anything. Ignorance is not an option folks. It will not help your children. It will not make them better people. On the contrary, ignorance and extreme sheltering will make your child into the WORST kind of person – that is an ignorant closed minded person.

I asked my child what they were reading and she didn’t know. The class just finished 1984 and Brave New World, so now that they’re all throughly disturbed and depressed I imagine story stories or a play might be in order.

Who could it be? Kafka? Camus? Sartre? Beckett?

AP English Literature. No Exit. Bahahahaha. But seriously folks, I’m glad the students are being exposed to so many different ideas.

College applications are due today for University of California. Of course someone (my kid, my kid) waited until the very last day. She’ll be applying for two schools. We’ll see what happens.

We talked about the Supreme Court and what scary things might happen, which seems appropriate considering the discussion on existentialism. And no, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not 93 years old. She is 83 years old (or something like that.) We also talked about Clarence Thomas who is an odd waste of space. The guy does nothing. Says nothing. Votes on nothing. He is just weird. This isn’t political. Everybody else in those black robes works hard. This guy just takes up space.

Clara asked about Anita Hill. I told her that almost every woman I know has been sexually harassed, or bullied by males. Most of us, like Anita Hill, just go on with their lives, because we can’t do much about it. It isn’t like she just brushed it off, but (I speak from experience) if one makes a big deal about it there are consequences – unfortunately even now. But, that said, we need to keep speaking up and speaking out, and making sure there is equality for ALL – women, men, children, everyone.

Luckily in the Vampire world that isn’t an issue, at least when it comes to other Vampires. Sure some guys are jerks but they know what is right and wrong. Seriously, it would be a better world if we had a voice as who we are, but like other groups of the past we can’t speak up. That is one of the hardest lessons for us to teach our Vampire children.

We talked about the rain. We discussed our schedules. And we just talked, like all parents and their kids should do. Seriously, sometimes the talks serve no purpose, but you have to talk with your kids, not just when they’re young. Share ideas. They might not be your ideas, but that is why you have these discussions, and find out what makes your kids tick, and what is important to them.

It was a quick ride and there wasn’t much traffic today. Tonight I’ll find out what the next book or story is. I’ll find out if anything else interesting is going on at school. I’ll find out if weirdness abounds, or if all is well, at least in our little corner of the world.

Then she said, “Uncle Max said all of your boyfriends before dad were douches.” OK, I’ll have to have a talk with my brother, or just let it go. I had to laugh.

 

Hope your day is full of interesting thoughts, discussions, and loads of laughs. Just remember to keep your mind open and your temper in check.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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