Florence Italy Lover's Bridge

A perfect January day in Florence, Italy.

I am home from a two week adventure in Italy, complete with Christmas trees, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” style adventures, and finding those lost shadows, and romance for the soul.

So many handsome men, so many cute dogs, SO MUCH ART.


And coffee. Oh the coffee.

And the wine.

I’ll be posting my stories soon. But I’m back for 2018 with new features, new blog posts, new insights on parenting, relationships, elders, tall tales, and critters.

When we arrived home around midnight this morning we were greeted by rain and the sound of millions of frogs.

It is always good to travel, but it is good to be home.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



Expert Dating Advice, Parenting Books and November Writing with the Vampire

Don't listen to a word I say.

Don’t listen to a word I say.


I will be writing a lot in November but without word count or updates other than this post.

I am signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), but the only think I might do is cut and paste what I’m working on at the end of the month (if I remember, which I won’t.) It will be well over 50,000 words. Last time I participated I wrote almost 200,000 words. Word count is never a problem for me. First of all I don’t care. Second of all I write like I talk so I can write a lot.

I’m only doing this because friends are doing it. No, I would never give this advice to my children. No they will not follow their friends off of bridges. They will never be involved in a crime spree because their friends told them to. Don’t even go there with me.

"We don't need no stinkin word count." Yes, this is the brilliant actor Alfonso Bedoya and I bet he didn't count his words either. Yes, this is from the 1948 Movie The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

“We don’t need no stinkin word count.”
Yes, this is the brilliant actor Alfonso Bedoya and I bet he didn’t count his words either. Yes, this is from the 1948 Movie The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

NaNoWriMo is a great tool. It is a fantastic tool.  It is a fun activity. I’m almost talking myself into it. I’m not introvert (but I am an asshole sometimes but usually I’m considered really nice and sweet) but I don’t like group things, at least not for me. I can’t explain. I love my friends and parties and…but I won’t try to explain. Anyway, look it up if you think you might have fun doing it. Hell, give it a try. Don’t listen to me. I’m just the chick who writes the weird Vampire blog.

The group events I hate most are corporate team building exercise type things. I hate that sort of worthless self-serving BS crapola almost as much as I hate parenting books and self-help books. But wait…wait…wait…

Idea FLASH: Maybe for NaNoWriMo I should write a parenting book AND a self-help book.

Coming Soon From Best Selling Author Juliette Kings:

Deliberate Parenting: Parenting the Smart Way –
Not the Stupid Way (and that means YOU)


Juliette’s No Nonsense Guide to
Love Letters, Dating, and Romance.


why get married


Sure thing, expect about 645,000 words from me by November 30th. I’ll take Thanksgiving off. Maybe the day after. I have to go find somebody else to clean up my kitchen so maybe even the day after the day after.


There is an exception for November – I’m writing with a group of people. It isn’t an event or club or anything like that. I’m writing a section of a story, sort of, with four other authors, based on a story by one of the authors. I’m kind of confused by it all but I’ll figure it out. They are all nice people who are happy to put up with my shenanigans and clueless behavior. When we’re done I’ll put a link somewhere.

I’ve also promised someone else help with a romance novel. There might be some time travel involved, or a ghost, or a past life, or at least a handsome man with ripped abs and a deep voice and great hair. No Vampires.

And I’m writing this exceptionally deep and famous Vampire Parenting blog.

In addition to that I’ve got a book to the editor. And elderly friend of Eleora’s, a former text book editor, has agreed to help me out. She thinks my book is wonderful. I’ll get her the final 60 pages tomorrow. This is not a Vampire book, a self-help book, a parenting book, or a ghost story. It is just a popular novel with a good ending and a lot of twists and turns on the way to that ending. More on that later. I don’t tell you guys everything.

Right now I’m not doing any beta reading. Unfortunately I don’t have time and my comments would be worthless to you. Ask me later.

So happy writing to everyone out there who writes. Happy reading to those who read. Happy dancing, cooking, drinking wine, hugging your children, playing basketball (GO KINGS), being a Vampire, walking your dog, talking with your kids, and enjoying whatever it is that you enjoy doing.

Happy November.

My kids and their friends think it is cool when parents write stuff. That will be in my book.

And guys don’t forget to grow that mustache for MOVEMBER (to show your support for Prostrate Cancer testing and cures.) My Teddy is growing his out. Love you Teddy.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Thomas Nast rocking the facial hair

Thomas Nast rocking the facial hair



Friday Big Hats, Big Hair and Gratuitous Vampire Stuff

It is Friday.

That means big hats and big hair and a gratuitous Vampire meme.

And a wrap up of this week (and what you might have missed – click on the links below):

Big Hat Day

Big Hat Day

Big Hair Day

Big Hair Day

Mona V

Mona V