Public Service Announcement on Behalf of My 16 Year Old Vampire Son

My 16 year old Garrett and his best buddy Randy get frustrated and at times stupidly amused by the way media portrays Vampire Teens. Yes, in my opinion, like many of the fictional Vampire Teens shown in the media these boys are exceptionally handsome. But like ALL teen boys they can be exceptionally goofy and fun and just plain cute.

So this is a public service announcement from Garrett and Randy:

Fictional Vampire Teen

REAL Vampire Teen

(this photo is not Garrett and Randy, but it could be. I won’t let them post their own photos for security/privacy reasons)

So that is all.
I’m sure all the kids will be laughing about this for a long long long time. Gotta love these guys.
Happy Friday!

Juliette aka Vampire Maman


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Not just a vacation but a MOMCATION

I need, not just a vacation but a MOMCATION.

With the three-day weekend coming up (Labor Day) I’ve been thinking about what needs to be done vs what I would like to do.

I would like to go to Mono Lake and explore the area, hike the trails in the moonlight, view the beautiful breath taking Southern Sierra Nevada Range…But that is a 6 hour drive from my house and the kids are still in school and I’d like to spend a week exploring the back side of the Sierras….so I’ll stay at home.

So if I had a week off, a week where I’m not working or hauling teenagers, cleaning, organizing, making the universe work for my family, or doing all of the other “mom” stuff, what would I do?

  • I would take the dog for a walk in the park every single morning. I’d close my eyes and listen to the birds and the water of the lake lapping on the shore. I’d bask in the glory of the oak trees, say hi to fellow bicycle riders, dog walkers, and people on horseback. I’d look for deer, coyotes, eagles, hawks, rabbits and bobcats.
  • I’d go to the big bookstore and have coffee and spend hours looking at books and THEN bring a big bag of books home with me. Later in the week I’d go to the neighborhood used bookstore and do the same.
  • I’d read. Nothing good for me – paranormal romances, historic romances, modern romances, crime novels, mysteries…wait – those are all good for me.
  • I’d go downtown in the middle of the week and have lunch with my husband.
  • I’d draw and write every single day.
  • I’d have lunch with friends. And as a VM (Vampire Mom) I’d have a wonderful lunch with some of my favorites every single day. Right now I get in a good Friday lunch that lasts me all week, but wouldn’t it be nice to get fresh blood every single day of the week. Yes, I’m feeling a little greedy but that’s ok, moms rarely get to be greedy.
  • I’d have a spa day
  • I’d take my VM girlfriends to the art museum then we’d go shopping.
  • I’d plant big posts of glorious flowers for my back deck and plan my winter garden.
  • I’d go to the gym every single day.
  • I’d learn to roller skate.

Sounds nice. Maybe I’ll take the list and try to maybe do one or two items every week (right, wouldn’t that be nice). What would you do on your MOMCATION?

But on a very good note…I’m going to the Giant’s Game in San Francisco with my family which is a vacation in itself! Beautiful Park and of course our team! Go Giants!

And GO RIVERCATS too – we’re so proud of our Sacramento Baseball Team!!!!!


Have a fun and safe  holiday everyone.

~ Juliette

The image above seemed fitting…

Also… Not sure where Mono Lake is? Check it out at this link:

This is what it looks like:

A Vampire walked into a bar…

A Vampire walked into a bar with a bat on his shoulder.

The bartender said “You ought to take that bat to the zoo.”

The Vampire said “We went to the zoo yesterday. We’re going to the movies tonight!”


Vampire or Regular Human (or something else) it is always always always good to have a sense of humor!



Have fun!

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Bullies and Jerks – Vampire Mom is not amused.

This year Janie is being picked on again by one of the stupid Bully Jerks.

When this Bully Jerk boy first started at their school back in 4th grade (they are now in 8th) he would tell everyone that they were going to Hell if they didn’t belong to his church. This was especially true for the Mormon kids (and being on the West Coast there are many), Jewish kids and especially those kids who don’t attend church most of the time and don’t even think of religion on a regular basis.

Now he is part of a group of boys who shrug and grunt and think they are “all that”. Their chief form of entertainment is in judging others and spreading bad karma (for themselves).

So religion aside and politics and whatever – this kid was a jerk. He was picking on Janie because he thinks she is “goth” and “emo” by the way she dresses. So what? Why does he even care? She already has naturally black hair and pale skin and she dresses in a unique way. But not that unique because her favored color is black and favorite store is Hot Topic (all the kids like that store). I think she looks cute and she is a DARLING girl full of life and spunk.

I’m proud of Janie for taking a stand against the Bully Jerk.

I am also proud of my daughter and her friends for telling the Bully Jerk to BACK OFF. He doesn’t even know Jamie. The kids laid into him hard. I don’t know if they got through to him but I hope they did .

One of the best things you can do for your child is to tell her to STAND UP for those who have quiet voices. STAND UP for those who are different. STAND UP for those who are bullied. STAND UP for their friends.

I wonder what they (the Bully Jerks) are learning at home to be so self-assured in their beliefs. As far as I’m concerned they are one step from being modern day Nazis. If they don’t go that far they are growing up to be hateful bigots. I’ve met those smug self serving people with their vile black hearts. They leave a bitter taste in my mouth and I’m inclined to give them nightmares if I ever have to come into close contact with them.

But for every boy like this there are many more who are not.

I am not a religious person but my friends of many faiths inspire me.
If you are going to bash Mormons, Catholics, Atheists, Jews, Holy Rollers, Republicans, Democrats, artists, historians, scientists, Goths, old people, teens, and large general groups then you are bashing most of my friends and family. – STOP IT.

And back to FAITH: For most people faith is deeply personal but they know how to separate it from their social lives, school and work. Most people are reasonable but it is the few who are not who are assholes and ruin it for everyone. CUT IT OUT.

I swear I think Vampires DO need to be more involved in the petty narrow-minded lives of many regular humans. We’d show them what it is to be different. Jerk Offs.


Hopes and Fears of a Modern Vampire Mom

Sometimes Vampire Maman needs to muse. Tonight was the semi finals for America’s Got Talent – we’re happy, well ok with the winners who will go on to the final.

We’re not watching the Republican Convention. Then again, we’re not going to watch the Democratic Convention either. Both sides are chuck full of brilliant people with good ideas. Both sides are full of scary scary people. Both side have good people and both unfortunately have a few forces of evil behind them.

I stress this about BOTH sides.

As Modern Vampires we can’t live under the radar like we used to. We have social security numbers, we pay taxes, we are frustrated just like regular humans. But we live in their world, which is our world as well.

My great grandmother told me once of a witch burning a long long time ago. There were two friends named Thomas. One was a Vampire and one was one of the others (maybe a werewolf but it was never defined what he was). Thomas the Vampire was a gentle soul who was a healer and teacher and was stupid enough to fall in love with a regular human woman and tell her more than she needed to know. The other Thomas was also a healer and I believe some sort of holy man. Both were good men. Both were misunderstood by hateful ignorant so they were burned alive. The two men worked together, were best friends, were kind of heart and, well it was tragic.

In the age of modern technology we’ve had to worry about popular culture making Vampire Hunting a blood sport (no pun intended). One day soon we’ll be found out. Someone will test our DNA. They’ll hook us us and study us. The Werewolves tried to do that to us and it ended badly, but they are a small group. Regular humans are a force we can’t fight.

So I fear a lot right now. Loss of those I love, loss of my world as I know it, loss of control of our fortunes and property, loss of freedom, and most of all the loss of secrets.

I know my thoughts are deep and black.

I love my human friends. I have loved many over the years, but not like the friends I have now. I worry about them and about us (Vampires) and I worry about all of the others who are human but not regular humans.

The only ones who can’t be touched are the ghosts. Damn ghosts.

Some in the Vampire community say we ought to “come out of our coffins”. A horrible term, and a dangerous idea. Like Thomas and his friend Thomas we’d be killed, taken apart, put in a compound like in the movie “District 9”. Most of all our children would be feared. Those who are different, starting with those who are physically different and for some reason the artistic always are taken first to be taken away. Then those who speak up are removed. Next those of different faiths. Next the educated and those with a free mind. Then the authors…and soon nobody is left  but the sheep. Where are the Werewolves when you really need them (they were almost wiped out 100 years ago so excuse me for the bad joke).

My sweet children who have hearts of gold and see the world as a joyful place would be feared. We must make it a joyful place for them and keep hope in their lives.

Luckily there is one politician, the State Representative in my area who seems to be actually doing good and LISTENING to people in his area. He isn’t a Vampire but I feel he is one of us. A good man. I just hope he isn’t touched by the dogma of party lines and stupidity that comes from it all.

Unfortunately we haven’t had the same good luck with the County (Sacramento). Roads are horrible, county services are horrible, it is a bad environment for business, so many county employees are paid TOO MUCH for the services (or lack of) they provide and the list goes on. I am disgusted by the mismanagement and LACK of representation among the elected officials. THEY HAVE SUCKED for years. They have lived high and mighty in their own little kingdoms and let our wonderful home go to WASTE. SHAME ON THEM. There are a few new faces in this year and I hope to God they can keep their heads out of their asses and egos in check for just a few seconds to get things back where they should be.

Also, my heart goes out to all of our friends and family in Louisiana and on the Gulf Coast.


Get DIRTY for a GOOD Cause!


Honestly these stories are really a wonderful bit of escape in a very wonderful grown up way! I know, I’ve read all of them – and know the ever so talented authors!

You’ll read this over and over! 
  • Warning – this posting is rated R (for run to your computer and order it today)
  • This anthology is also a charity fundraiser, with 50% of all royalties being donated to Multiple Sclerosis research in support of a beloved fellow writer who was recently diagnosed with MS.

Nine sizzling hot erotic short stories by various authors, with bits of erotic poetry sprinkled in between to spice things up even further. Explicit adult content combined with compelling story lines makes this the ideal bedside book for couples to enjoy together. Makes a wonderful gift for your spouse or lover.
  • Nocturnal Desires will be a PERFECT addition to your reading list!
This book is not about vampires or werewolves, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you will be disappointed. It is a collection of erotica written in various styles from all aspects of sexuality.
But there IS fantasy and magic in some of the stories – but all are wonderful, well written, and the variety of stories and poetry is sure to impress any OVER 18 Mature reader.
Thank you to all of the writers involved in this popular collection! I feel honored to be part of this project.
And from the same group CREEPIES – Twisted Tales from Beneath the Bed” a Horror Anthology!