Vampire 101 – Blood Stains

There is a reason why a lot of vampires wear black…STAINS.

A few months ago my niece Lauren came home from college with happy stories of loving school and new friends. My brother Aaron, Lauren’s father, took her aside and said “honey, you have blood on your shirt.” It was just a few small spots but Lauren’s face turned red, or as read as a vampire can get, with embarrassment.

She’d been at a party, there was a boy. Aaron said he knew it was a boy before Lauren even spoke – he could smell it. The boy, with the name of Mason, was handsome and smart. He was the guy all the girls were drooling over. Lauren already knew him from classes and mutual friends, but they flirted and she was feeling the old vampire urges, so she kicked in the paranormal and took him aside for an hour or two. In the exchange she ended up with blood on her clothing.

Actually, it was more than just flirting. It was more than just kissing. After tears she told her parents she’d had sex with Mason and given him the hickey of a lifetime. Her parents asked if she’d been careful and assured her that there was nothing to be ashamed of. She was responsible, she did not harm her prey, was with people she trusted and she used protection. Plus she was 19 years old, almost 20, doing what responsible adult vampires do.

There are going to be stains, but in the meantime tell your young adults to plan ahead. Wear dark colors or patterns. The plaids that are popular now are perfect when you know you’ll be getting blood.

A good item to give your college bound kid (or yourself) is a laundry stain pen. Most major brands make them and they can be found in any grocery story. These handy little stain removers can easily be kept in a backpack, purse, pocket or binder.

But if you DO get a stain follow these follow these steps:

To remove blood stains from washable fabrics.

  • Spray with a stain solution such as Simple Green or any laundry pre-treatment and wash immediately in cold water.
  • Check before you put the shirt (or other whatever is stained) in the dryer. You don’t want to set a stain in that you can still remove.
  • If any stain remains, I usually soak the hell out of it overnight with OxyClean or Goof Off spray. If you don’t want to do that then soak it in a solution of 1 quart warm water, 1­/2 teaspoon dishwashing or liquid laundry detergent, and 1 tablespoon ammonia for 15 minutes.
  • For excess solid or caked-on stains, scrape off what you can, scrub gently with a soft brush or clean sponge, blotting occasionally until the stain is gone.

To remove blood stains from leather or suede:

  • Mix a solution of mild soap in lukewarm water. Dish soap works well. You want a lot of suds.
  • Apply only the foam with a sponge and gently rub the stained area, taking care not to spread the stain. Q-tips work great for this.
  • Wipe dry with a clean soft cloth. If all else fails take it in to get it professionally cleaned.


It may seem romantic and daring to the younger vampires to use silver goblets to drink blood from but DON’T DO IT. Not only is it hard to clean but it is TACKY. But what if your college aged child gets carried away with the moment. Wash right after use. Dried blood will cause some nasty tarnish. Better yet, tell your kids NOT to use silver with blood – especially not YOUR silver. If the stains are difficult get out the polish and elbow grease and MAKE YOUR KID DO THE WORK and polish those stains out.

Previous articles: We’ll discuss how to resist the urge and be a politically correct vampire. As a rule we are polite and civil to a fault but some so-called vegan vampires are going too far.

~ Juliette


First seen here in 2012 – one of the very first posts on this silly blog. I’ve been busy so I’m sharing important posts you might have missed.

12 thoughts on “Vampire 101 – Blood Stains

    • You know, J, my father must have been a vampire. He always loved blood pudding. Used to work at a slaughterhouse and would bring home a gallon of blood for pudding at least once a week. Of this I am not joking !

        • I know…, oooghh, blood, uugggghhhh!!!!!!!
          In truth, I never could stand his blood pudding. It looked like clotted jello or something like that and tasted worse !

        • Just a side note…
          When i make gravy for pork chopsl/mashed potatoes, and black eyed peas, I save the blood and juices from the porkchops and saute it just before making the rue for my gravy. Adds so much to the flavor.

      • Black is cool now, but in 1993 when I started wearing all black, all the time, it was to protest retroactive tax increases. I got lots of notice and comments about my all black attire until a few years ago. Since I play guitar, a lot of people assumed I was mimicking Johnny Cash. He had his reasons for wearing black, I have mine, but since I play flamenco, and he played Country, the only common factor was our guitars had six strings (I loved Johnny Cash and still love his music). It’s only been the past few years that hardly anyone asks me why I wear black.

  1. Vampire Maman, I like this one. I deal with a lot of people who write vampire fiction through my association with writers. This covers those awkward situations as obvious as major hickeys. They’re going to be noticed. You pass on the nuts and bolts & maybe the sparkly ones might listen…might.

    • Thanks for your comment. That was nice of you. Yes, it is those little things we have to think of if we want to be part of Modern life. Or if we want to be parents of teens and young adults (vampire or not.)


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