Vegan Vampires




OK my brother Val finally figured it out how to be a Vegan Vampire.

Don’t eat animals.

Only take blood from humans who don’t eat animals.

So that will make you a Vegan Vampire.

Thank you Valentine.

My son Garrett asked if you have to be an atheist too because we’re Vampires, not atheists or Vegans. Val said NO, you just have to get blood from the necks of Vegans. No particular political or religious beliefs are required (but we’re Vampires so we KNOW what is right and what is wrong and real and really really weird. Plus we’re rather spiritual in our own special ways.)

Are wrists or other body parts acceptable, that is, when we encounter a Vegan?

Yes. Bite their ankle for all I care. Do whatever works for you.

What if a Vegan wants to become a Vampire?

That would not be advisable. We’re Vampires. Capisce?

Alright. Any more questions?

No? OK. Then we’re good.



~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman







6 thoughts on “Vegan Vampires

  1. Okay, Juliette, this is hilarious… very “vegan” then… still: blood from an animal, such as a mammal which human beings are, still makes drinking their blood makes it “unvegan”… does that make any sense? 🙂

    • According to Val taking blood from a human is just sharing… it isn’t like eating a chicken or a cow. Since we’re now “enslaving” those Vegan humans and since we don’t raise them for food or kill them (we try not to) it then, well, that is Val’s take on it. Plus we’re pretty human ourselves so it is just “sharing” as far as I’m concerned. 🙂

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