Rude, Crude and Socially Unacceptable – Old Fashioned Family Fun

Good news, I’m taking my kids to see the band All Time Low tomorrow night. Am I the cool mom or what. It will be a lot of fun and I’ll write a full review and maybe even post photos live from the show. And in May we’re going to see (for the second time) Twenty One Pilots.

In the meantime….

Rude, Crude and Socially Unacceptable – Old Fashioned Family Fun

For all I write on parenting…and this is a parenting blog (or at least it used to be)…

Some people might think my husband and I are bad examples for our kids after they read this. You may stop now if you want. There are a lot of other great posts on this blog that will make you smile and are in good taste. There are even Vampire posts and some great short stories… Check it out. Or go on reading this… I guess.

We’ve been talking about “Not Quite Reality TV.”

On Tuesdays we all curl up on the couch together and watch Ink Masters. Someone commented on that yesterday. Hey, it teaches art appreciation, how to be a good or bad competitor, grace under fire and the importance of learning your craft no matter what you do. Plus Dave Navarro is smoking hot. Chris Nunez is super smart and we’ve learned a lot from him about tattoo standards. And Oliver Peck is darling. Chris and Oliver are amazing artists as well – two of the best. And it is just an old fashioned freak show. We’re waiting for the next show when Kyle goes off on Chris. Smack the crap out of him Chris! Stop being a whoosie ass baby Kyle! Find your man card and grow a pair.

My daughter is addicted to Bar Rescue. I have no words or explanation on that one.

Antiques Roadshow is ok because my husband is in the business, we’ve been to Antiques Roadshow AND it is on PBS (and he knows a lot of the dealers).

My son tells everyone he never watches television but I know he watches Sherlock on Netflix and Skins (which is not about weasel trappers.)

When the kids both turn 18 they want to be on The Amazing Race. I think they’d win, or at least be the most entertaining people ever on the show. Even more amazing is the fact that they don’t even watch the show.

Tonight we discussed game shows and new shows in general we might produce.

Wheel of Torture. If you don’t get any of the words right you get the thumb screws, whacked with a cattle prod, bitten by dogs…or forced to watch reruns of Jersey Shore.

Are You The One – Family Style. 10 girls and 10 guys get together to find their perfect match. The hitch is that two of them are brother and sister but none of them know WHO is related. Yes, that is super sick, but it keeps them all out of the BOOM BOOM room. Yes, this was really bad but I won’t even start to tell you some of the really bad shows we came up with.

Werewolves on Ice. Ice skating show featuring Werewolves. Think about it. THAT wold be funny (at the expense of our furry friends.)

Junk Yard Wars – Naked Edition. A team of girls try to guess, you guessed it, what guy that junk belongs to.

Than again most of the stuff on Cable TV is pretty scary and weird and in really really really bad taste. We couldn’t make it up.

My Strange Addiction features people who want to be living dolls, people who eat eye makeup, eat beds, get humongous boobs, eat other people’s toe nails, collect rat skulls… the list goes on. It is the most disgusting thing on TV.

There is even a show about women who don’t know they’re pregnant. Excuse me? If you’re pregnant you know it.

Then there are all of the Southern Hillbilly shows. Swamp people, Swamp Girls, Fish Giggers, Pregnant and Stupid, Pregnant and Knocked Up, Pregnant and Stinky, Deadly Dogs, Pawn Punks and Duck Danglers… it goes on and on and on. I know a lot of Southerners but none of them are like these yahoos. And don’t forget Honey Boo Boo. My brain is going to rot out of my head even knowing that these things exist.

Forget Horror Movies, just turn on your TV.

I know this has been a stupid post but…

Oh come on, I wish I’d recorded our conversation because it was really really funny. We laughed so hard. Maybe next time.

And it all goes to show that a family that laughs together and does stupid silly things together stays together. If you have kids enjoy them. Laugh with them. And when they ask you to lighten up – do it. And you know, you can teach your kids the difference between good taste and bad taste – and have fun doing it.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

If this Vampire wants to tattoo your image on his arm...you'll have to check out his entire body first.

If this Vampire wants to tattoo your image on his arm…you’ll have to check out his entire body first.

Vampire Maman (look I drew something, a tattoo, now leave me alone)

Vampire Maman (look I drew something, a tattoo, now leave me alone)

 

3 thoughts on “Rude, Crude and Socially Unacceptable – Old Fashioned Family Fun

  1. Dearest Juliette… if THIS Vampire asks me for my picture to have it tattooed onto his arm, believe me, I have checked out his body before – several times!! (I’m drooling…) 🙂

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