Why can’t you be more like beer?

“Why can’t you be more like beer?” And other stupid things human guys say.

I hear a lot about young guys living in a world of video games and not being able to keep relationships with women. Believe me, this has been going on for a long time – long before video games.

Want to know a secret? The females of the species say the same kinds of stupid things too.

This isn’t a pop quiz but let me know if you have the answer to this question. Not the title of this blog post but THIS question: Why do guys like to talk about how much they love beer, their truck, their motorcycle, bicycle, exgirlfriend, best-friend’s-girlfriend or other stupid shit when they are attempting to impress a female? Then they get flustered and think the poor girl they’re with is boring or less than perfect because she doesn’t love beer, trucks, playing baseball or isn’t the identical twin of his best friend’s perfect girlfriend. Weird how that happens.

Or I could just write a blog post called “He is really looking for a guy in a female centerfold body.” Or “If you want to be with a guy then be with a guy.”

I’m writing this because I’m around a lot of teens and they talk a lot about relationships. There is so much confusion. So adults do two things generally.

1. They say NOTHING or end the conversation.

2. They tell funny/weird stories about people they know (including themselves.)

The same applies to adult friends but that can be more of a challenge. Unfortunately some people don’t want to learn from their mistakes. They have such rock solid notions of… well, how things should be, but things aren’t like that, people aren’t like that soooooo….you might as well say nothing most of the time and just know you’re going to get another good story to laugh about sooner or later (usually sooner.) Did that make any sense?

By the way, I’ve been around for a long time. I’m not talking about anyone who reads this blog so don’t think I’m writing about you… or I WILL write about you. If you do feel like you are displaying weird dating/relationship behaviors you need to stop it right now.

So back to the issue on hand…

We’re telling funny stories and cautionary tales.

My husband always tells my daughter those three important words that all fathers need to say: Boys are stupid.

When a guy says “Damn you’re beautiful” and you turn around to say thank you and find out that he is talking to his truck, something is amiss. Something is stupid. Someone is stupid (hint, it isn’t the girl.)

What am I trying to say to these guys? What should you say ladies?

Say, “Grow up.” Yes dude, you need to grow up and get real. You can still have fun if you just open your mind. Opening your mind doesn’t always need to include beer or pot or expecting a girl to be just like your guy friends.

The other day I was hiking with my kids and my niece and her boyfriend. We were talking about this stuff and all tended to agree. Of course not ALL guys are like this. Of course they aren’t. But the ones who are like that make for a lot of frustration. Don’t be one of those guys. Don’t waste your time on one of those guys. There are too many out there who do appreciate the opposite sex.

Don’t worry, I’ll have more posts about “needy women” and other types of weirdness coming up soon. I’ll have equal opportunity fun for everyone.

There are also those “beer girls”, you know the girls who try to be one of the guys just a little bit too hard. Ugh.

Or you could just date a Vampire which brings an entirely different set of challenges. I’ll blog on that later this week.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman






6 thoughts on “Why can’t you be more like beer?

  1. Do I sense a bit of latent feminism here… 🙂 , there’s nothing wrong with trucks or beer, kept in their proper perspective and place of course. Stupid is just stupid ! Always was and always will be. There are just some that seem hopelessly addicted to it ! 🙂

    • This blog post is based on true stories from the front line of relationships from my friends and from my own personal experiences. Yes, truth is stranger than fiction. I never even thought of feminism. You’re going to make me laugh.

      I own a truck (a BIG Dodge Ram) and I drink beer. I’m married to a man who is such a GUY (sports, cars, guns, beer, well tailored suits, dogs, power tools, heavy metal bands, boats, more cars.) BUT yes… one has to keep it all in perspective. My husband also talks about art and music and flowers and books, among other things. That is why I love him so. Heaven forbid I talk about Vampire stuff all the time (I don’t. I rarely do outside of my blog) – that would bore everyone to death.

      Thanks for stopping by and for being such a well rounded and always interesting man.

    • I bet at least one of your sisters has dated “that guy.” Most girls have. I have. We just don’t realize it until he says something like, “I love you almost as much as I love beer.”

      Hey, with a Neon you’re trending right now.


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