Frosty the Werewolf and unrelated ramblings about breakfast, telling your family that you’re a Vampire and other stuff.


Frosty the Werewolf and unrelated ramblings about breakfast, telling your family that you’re a Vampire and other stuff.

Yesterday I was meeting my friend Cody for coffee. While waiting I did a little creative writing…I am trying to come up with some more Holiday songs (Christmas). But then I started to think about the holidays and announcements and how difficult that can sometimes be. Cody had some news about issues in his life that have been rather uncomfortable. That is how my thought process works so stay with me.

So, I tried my hand at Frosty the Werewolf.


Frosty the Werewolf was a strange tormented soul
with a great gray pelt and a cold damp nose
and two eyes of burning coal

Frosty the Werewolf is a nightmare tale they say
He was once a man but the devil knows
how he came to howl one day

There must have been some magic in that
old wolf pelt they found
for when they placed it on his back
he ate everyone he found

Frosty the Werewolf
was as mean he could be
And the Vampires say
There was hell to pay
If scratched and left us fleas.

Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Look at those heads roll
Thumpity thump thump
thumpity thump thump
Over the bloody snow.


Hmmmm. Not quite as cheery and happy as I’d planned.

You know, was one of those days. It was pouring down rain and I should have known better than to try to look good at all. I left the house with my hair looking like I’d just come from the salon and by the time I got to the place I was meeting Cody I was a mess. I should have dug out the old can of Aqua Net but… anyway. Even Vampires have bad hair days.

We met at Fox and Goose, an English style Public House for breakfast. Yes, we wanted real breakfast. As long as I’m going to eat real food (a virtual egg and meat fest) I’m going someplace good. Fox and Goose is my favorite breakfast place within 1,000 miles of my house. Plus the coffee is good and while you wait for your seat you can help yourself. My favorite is the Welsh Rarebit Omelet.

Cody had been missing breakfast and a lot of things he did before he became a Vampire about three years ago. Like in the case of my husband, he did not choose to become a Vampire. It just happened. It didn’t just happen to me – I was born into it, but that is a different conversation. Cody has adjusted better than most in this situation. So breakfast. We like breakfast. We like coffee. The life of the undead is good.

December 8 will be Cody’s 35th birthday.  He was born in 1979 but we look the more or less the same age. I recently turned 155. Alright so we’re celebrating his birthday as an excuse to eat more than we should when Cody puts down his fork and gives me a serious look and says…

“I told my parents that I’m a Vampire now.”

Most people don’t tell their family or friends that they’ve become a Vampire. They just go away and usually pretend to die. Death is the usual exit. But some, a few, continue on with their lives. Some even tell their families. I don’t recommend it, but that is an individual choice/risk one takes. I asked Cody how it went.

“They didn’t want to believe it. My dad…my dad was confused. They both were. They thought I was crazy then I explained the whole story.”

Cody explained how he would have been dead after a car accident four years ago. His girlfriend Jen had driven off of a cliff into the ocean. Cody’s life was saved when the Vampires who found him turned him into one of us. He didn’t ask for it. It was just one of those things.

Cody’s dad asked it he was crazy. He asked about mental illness. He asked if it was a medical condition that could be treated.

Cody’s mother was mostly silent as Cody explained. Then she started to ask specific questions. She asked if he drank blood. She asked to see his fangs. She said she knew something was different. Then she asked about his new friends. They all seemed polite and interesting and a little bit eccentric.

His mom started to cry and asked if he was going to go away. His dad asked if the fangs were real then wanted to see them again.

It was confusing. Cody said he was sorry. His parents didn’t know what to say. They just sort of went numb.

I told Cody that it would take time. His parent had already asked about the other Vampires. They wondered if we were all ghouls and dark cold killing machines.

His parents would go through shock, then denial, then they’d face their feelings, then maybe they’d accept it. I told him that it was traumatic for his parents to hear their son had turned into something they didn’t approve of or even believe existed.

“Give them space. Give them love. Give them answers that you feel comfortable with too. You don’t need to tell them everything.”

He nodded his head. Then he asked the one question I didn’t want to answer. “What happened to Jen?”

Jen was, well, a horrible person. She lied and cheated her way into becoming a Vampire. She was responsible for Cody becoming a Vampire. That doesn’t sit well with anyone, no matter what you lie or cheat your way into.

So I told him the truth. “I don’t exactly know.” I had a feeling she’d been eliminated or sitting in a crypt somewhere but I didn’t tell him that.

“Can you find out?” Of course he had to ask. I didn’t give him a straight answer. I said I’d ask around.

Then he told me that his parents had asked about Lola.

For those of you who don’t already know, Lola is my great great great great Grandmama. She was born around 1365. She looks like she is in her mid twenties. She is charming, cunning and in love with Cody. Don’t ask me how this former ultra successful Silicone Valley Geek Hipster Marketing Director and my Grandmama Lola hooked up. There was a spark and nobody put it out so now we’re dealing with the fire. But I have to admit they’re cute together in a weird sort of hipster Vampire Victorian way. Yes, they take from everything and use it to their advantage.

His parents like Lola. I can’t imagine anybody who doesn’t know her the way I do wouldn’t like her. I adore her, to a point, then she just gets frustrating.

Anyway, Cody and I talked for quiet a while over a dozen cups of coffee and eggs and sausages. We left a big tip for taking the table so long.

I’d have more details, but I’m out of time because I have to take my teen to a Friday night Horror Club Event. Yes, she is the VP of her high school horror club. This isn’t a Vampire thing. It is just a thing. A club that kids who like horror movies, books and American Horror Story attend. Tonight they’re watching some sort of ghost movie at someone else’s house. These events tend to end up at my house so tonight I am thankful for the night off.

Yes, this is “Musings of a Modern Vampire Mom”, even when I’m sort of a mom to kids who aren’t my own, a mom to new Vampires like Cody.

I’ve been thinking all day about Cody and being different and Christmas and dealing with family and friends and my screaming cat and the rain tonight that seems so weird after the long dry drought.

So I’m rambling on… I’m thinking of Cody and how his face lights up when he talks about Lola. It reminds me of a little song you might have heard…

Ramble On, And now’s the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I’m goin’ ’round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I’ve been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin’ roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to’ our health we drank a thousand times, it’s time to Ramble On.




Drive safe and watch for Werewoves.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

5 thoughts on “Frosty the Werewolf and unrelated ramblings about breakfast, telling your family that you’re a Vampire and other stuff.


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