What we’ve been talking about

What HAVE we been talking about? This used to be a regular feature on this irregular blog. One if the main reasons I blog is so I can tell parents “TALK TO YOUR KIDS. Not AT them. But WITH them. And LISTEN to them without judgment.”

We talk a lot. I’d looked forward to the evening chat when I pick my daughter up but…

Right now I’m waiting. Not for a nice warm neck or a dance partner or a lover or coffee… I’m waiting for AAA to come to my office with a new car battery.

Even if I could turn myself into a bat it wouldn’t help because I’d be too small to carry my purse, computer, purse, coat and two pairs of roller skates. I also have a plant. An aloe. It is in a cute little orange pot.

Yes, I bet you didn’t know that Vampires have to haul things around just like everyone else. And unlike the old days I can’t just commandeer the nearest carriage for my own and haul off as fast as I can get the terrified horses to run.

You know, if we were as nasty and awful as the old stories say we are we wouldn’t be around anymore. Governments would have full armies just to kill Vampires. I mean, honestly, would you rather go around being an uncouth thief and all around shit head or would you rather be civilized? Acting civilized gets you a lot more nice warm necks – I can guarantee you that since I do speak from experience.

I’m at my office, and office I do my business in when I have to deal with people. I have other spaces but today was one of those days when I was… well, whatever. So now I’m stranded in a building at the end of a road too far away from my home to walk.


I’m back. A nice man replaced my battery for me. Woo Hoo.

So what did we talk about today? Warning: I’m kind of tired and rushed so this one is going to miss the mark. Don’t stop following this blog quite yet…

High School Drama and I’m not talking Shakespeare…

Tanner’s mom came to school and grabbed his arm and smacked him in the quad right in front of the entire student body at lunchtime. She did not sign in at the office. She didn’t care if she broke the rules. You see, Tanner had sex with a girl in the bathroom during the Homecoming Game. She wanted to, he’d never done it before (but he talked like he did) so they did it. Her boyfriend found out about it a month later and told the powers that be in the office. Someone from the office called Tanner’s mom. Tanner’s mom was pissed. She wouldn’t even take him home. She made him stay at school. Everyone is talking about it.

Emily was talking too much so the history teacher moved her seat but she refused to sit next to Forest because he was a hippy. Forest asked what made him a hippy (he was pissed she called him that.) She said anyone named Forest had to be a hippy.

There is a very nice by named Sam who is Ukrainian. His parents are still in the Ukraine. He is handsome and nice and tall and doesn’t speak English very well. Some kids invited him to what he thought was a party. They said there would be food and music. The wanted to convert him to their religion. He said they were all crying because Jesus and Moses and angels had visited each and every one of them in their bedrooms. He was sort of freaked out.

He is also upset that all of the Russian kids at the school say rude things to him. That doesn’t make anyone like the Russian kids.

I’m working on composing a letter to the school VP about sexual harassment and every other kind of asshat behavior I hear about. It is constant. These kids have absolutely no manners. Nobody, including teachers, is safe. I keep telling my daughter that this is good for her because one day she’ll grow up and have to deal with idiots – better she learn how to deal with them now. She mainly gets frustrated by boys asking for blow jobs and kids who don’t take school seriously. She isn’t some nerdy book worm but she likes to learn without distraction. What the teachers say is interesting. What a concept.

Don’t Touch Anyone

The one in college told me that he isn’t going to touch anyone until he graduates least he be accused of assault. He also is telling all of his female friends to NEVER go to frat parties or anywhere alone or without a friend. By friend he means REAL friend – someone who will watch your back. Nobody is safe from attacks or accusations.

Mom asks for help

Question: Where are the scissors?

Answer: I don’t know.

Question: Could you go upstairs and get the ribbon for me?

Answer: What ribbon?

Question: Can you help me?

Answer: Why?

Dad Cleans Up and Does Stuff Around The House

This involves a lot of slamming things around and showing how hard he is working while mom writes her blog. It also involves the TV loudly blaring some sort of car show. If I go upstairs everyone will yell at me to come downstairs because I have to see something on TV (a giant lizard, baby bear or unusual car) or they’ve lost something. Then the cleaning frenzy starts and there is a lot of swearing. The final swearing is usually out of my mouth.


It is really stupid to base a TV show around a guy being eaten by a giant snake. Don’t even think about it.

This year Clara loves science. The teacher is covering a lot of Microbiology.

One of Clara’s friends said he doesn’t believe in science. He means evolution which already makes him sound stupid. The kids in the group don’t know what to do with they and they discuss science fact and theory the way some other girls discuss fashion. They discuss fashion too but today they discuss science. I’m proud of them. Who says girls aren’t interested in science. Actually it isn’t just science – they’re interested in everything. They talk about the universe and how it was made and it rocks their minds. They talk about animals and the environment and food and germs and EVERYTHING. These teens aren’t lazy – their minds are going 24/7.

They discuss diversity and wonder what the big deal is. In their group there are boys, girls, boys who want to dress like girls, girls who like girls, boys and girls who like each other, white kids, black kids, kids who are not on any check boxes and the list goes on and on. They don’t really care. That is a good thing.

Like I said before, things have been busy and crazy lately. So my posts are a little random and I’m distracted…

But I just want to continue to stress that no matter how stressed out you are or distracted take time to talk to your kids about their lives and concerns. Be open to what they have to say. Be there for them.

So anyway, have a good week everyone. Happy Monday and Happy Birthday if you have one today or any day.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

One thought on “What we’ve been talking about

  1. You know, Juliette, your post IS a little “upside down” but the weird thing is: I can follow you!
    It is bad to hear about the bad things that are going on in schools. It hasn’t gotten any better since I was little.
    In elementary school I usually was beaten up about once or twice per month.
    My Mom loves long hair and she had us girls’ hair growing down to our butt. All you could do with hair as long as this was taking it together in a big braid…
    Of course the other kids thought WE liked it that way and therefore felt us being somewhat “better” than them and that’s why we got our share… until of course I learned how to decently defend myself and that had set an end to this…
    But I cannot imagine being treated this bad for where I come from, where my homeland is, what my religion is… it must be a 1000 times worse than what I was going through…

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