Never Been Human

Sometimes we leave lovers because they’re rude and stupid. Or we are with them in the first place because we’re stupid. Being lovers with someone with warm blood and a short life span is usually extremely stupid as far as I’m concerned.

A long time ago (a very long time ago) I was involved with one of them. I went out into the morning sun and closed my eyes, feeling the warmth on my sensitive bare skin.

He said, “You do that because you miss being human.”

I said, “I’ve never been human.”

“Pity,” he said, “you would have been good at it.” Then he thought for a moment about what I’d said,  “Excuse me Jewels, what do you mean you’ve never been human?”

I left him but not before making sure he’d have nightly horrifying nightmares for the next three years. Lucky me. I’m a Vampire, I can do that. I would miss not being able to do that.

In our society those we transform into Vampires don’t call us mother, father, uncle, aunt or anything along those lines. Sure we share a bond, but life is complicate enough without a band of groupies following me. Plus everyone I’ve converted over is too smart for that. They can take care of themselves. We’re friends – not master and slave.

Like a lot of only children, Vampires quickly earn to make friends quickly, solve their own problems, be independent and to keep a sense of humor. Even my grouchy brother Max has a sense of humor.

Of course there are those of us who do have families, parents, siblings, and extended families. But we’re in the minority – of Vampires that is. But all Vampires, like all living creatures once had parents and siblings even if they are long gone. Some are even in touch with descendants but it is extremely rare.

Earlier this week I was with my brothers Aaron and Val. We’re the youngest three of the five siblings in my family. We’re a large family as far as our kind  is concerned.  The eldest two Max and Andy are more on the dark side, in the shadows than the three of us younger siblings. They’re both a bit unhinged in their own special ways. They drive us crazy too in their own special way. Aaron, who is the problem solver tends to ignore them and judges them harshly behind their backs. I try not to be swept along in any drama. Val, the second to the last, keeps neutral and keeps a sense of humor. Aren’t all families a bit like that? We all take our roles. Those who like high drama play it up. They stay in the spotlight demanding an audience. The rest of us keep it on the sidelines or behind the scenes.

The three of us younger Vampires (ages 158, 156 and 155) met one night last week for dinner and drinks. It was at a local bar full of casual trendy and artsy folks all mingling over micro brews and red wine. Aaron surprised us by coming in jeans and a sweater, not his usual $5,000 suit and Hermes tie. Val and I were causal as usual – not slobby just casual (we’re Vampires, we have to look good.)

Anyway I don’t even remember what I was supposed to be writing about… Valentine’s Day was uneventful for Val, the youngest male of my parent’s brood, so Aaron and I were giving our single brother Valentine a bit of a bad time (joking of course, sort of) about taking advantage of the day and meeting up with oh so many pissed off single women. He said he stayed home or maybe spend the day with our Great-great-great-Grandmama Lola. Then I had to remind him that Lola AWAYS had a young man (or two or three) for Valentine’s Day. Lola is just sort of like that. Val said this year she spent it with him because her special sweetheart Cody was out of town. She spoke of Cody, who is much much younger than her, though she looks younger than Cody. Funny how things work out that way.

“I haven’t felt this way about a man since Leonardus and our friend Roger were burned at the stake,” Lola told Val.

After the death of Leonardus, Lola went back into the shadows with two small children. Rather than sink into the of hate Lola came remained strong and forged forward into the future. She was only 25 at the time. Six hundred and twenty five years can’t completely erase the pain of such a heart breaking event.

It is funny how things work out because there was Cody walking towards us. He looked so handsome tonight. It was the first time I’d seen him in a suit. I wondered why for a second – why the suit – then saw the glow in Lola’s eyes.

Cody joined us and we all walked, no ran, down memory lane, through years of danger, insanity and insanely fun times.

It is just what we do. Just another night with the Vampire. Just another night with just another family.

Not much else right now.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



Girl with Dog





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