Tomorrow is Thursday which means you have a few more hours to get in your questions for the next Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire, Advice for Everyone).
Put your questions in the comment section RIGHT HERE. If you’re shy you may email me at juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com.
Please submit all questions by midnight tonight. (PST)
In the meantime I’m swamped, so to delight and entertain you today I’m posting a story about my brothers Max and Andy. You might have seen it before, but maybe not. Enjoy.
Max heard the Nessun dorma ringtone and groaned. It was his brother Andy. It was an emergency. He could sense it.
He picked up and listened.
“Max, thank God you’re there. I’m by Baker Beach. Some asshole redneck in a truck sideswiped me. The car is totaled. Can you get out here? Right now.”
Max untangled himself from the woman next to him and sat up. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine. Like I said, the car is totaled.”
“Call AAA. I’ll call Uber and get you a ride home.”
“You don’t understand man. I have someone locked in the trunk and he is pissed off.”
Andy watched at the back end of his car became even more mangled by the violent pounding from the occupant he’d locked in the trunk. The noise was even worse.
“Stop it NOW,” he yelled, “or I’ll drain every drop of blood from your body, stuff your pathetic putrid smelling carcass and sell it to the highest bidder.”
Than banging and howling stopped right at the moment Max drove up.
He got out of the car. A woman got out of the passenger side. Like Max, she was dressed in black from head to toe.
“Mehitabel, you look beautiful. What are you doing with my brother?”
She smiled and kissed Andy on the cheek. “Glad you’re not hurt. Who do you have in the trunk?”
Max went over to Andy’s car and kicked the bumper. The mangled trunk lid popped open.
“Holy fuck,” Max swore under his breath.
Mehitabel put her hand over her nose and mouth to keep out the stench. “Andy, this isn’t good.”
“I know, this is bad,” said Andy. “But it isn’t every day you find a Sasquatch.”
After the car was towed and the sun started to come up, the three Vampires stopped at their favorite diner for breakfast. They’d all had their fill of blood the night before but coffee and eggs sounded good right then.
“Is this the fourth or fifth car you’ve totaled this year?” Max took a sip of coffee and shook his head at his brother.
“Second this year,” said Andy. “Hey, it wasn’t my fault.”
Mehitabel looked at the brothers. “So do you think he’ll be alright?”
“The Sasquatch? I don’t know. As long as he stays out of the city I think he’ll be fine,” said Max.
“This is San Francisco. Nobody would notice him,” said Andy.
Max smiled and put his hand on Mehitabel’s knee.
“You guys should get married. I’m serious,” said Andy.
Mehitabel almost spit out her coffee. Max took his hand off of her knee, then thought better of his action and put his hand back on her knee and gave a small squeeze. The waitress came by and poured more coffee.
I guess the moral of this story is that as long as you are always there for each other, don’t ask too many questions, and keep love in your hearts life will be good.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman