In most popular Vampire fiction a great deal is made of biting, specifically “the bite.”
When I write about warm blooded folks do I concentrate on their eating habits. I should. I’m surprised nobody has made a movie about someone attacking their coworkers who sit in the adjoining cubicle (or desk) all day gnashing, smacking, loudly crunching, and slurping food ALL DAY LONG. That does not include the unnecessary scraping of a food container with food long after there is nothing left. It does not include the rattling of wrappers. It does not include the overwhelming aromas of tuna or egg salad that make you want to vomit. The loud bite after bite into the apple a day leads to a headache for you that lasts all day long. THAT my friends is a true horror story. Day after day after day after day of noises that make you want to SCREAM before your head explodes.
But of course in popular culture a Vampire is considered far more glamorous than the average cubicle worker. Sure there are some of those Vampires who let blood drip down their chins and make horrible noises, but seriously, we teach our new Vampires, and our children NOT to behave like that – ever.
Anyway, I guess I should end now. The morning is too young, and my day too busy to go into the types of bites one may get from a Vampire – from quick, to lingering on the erotic.
I don’t know what to do about the coworker situation. It all depends on your company culture. You could go to HR (like they’re going to do anything.) You could go to your boss (who won’t do anything.) Or you could write that script to a horror movie and start a new career.
No matter who you are, always be considerate to others. Teach that to your children. Teach it to your employees. Teach it to your spouse. Teach it to yourself.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman