Teens

Half a dozen teens ate Tide Pods.

About half a million people tweeted about it.

Twenty million believed that half a million kids were eating Tide Pods.

Thirty Million posted memes on Facebook about kids eating Tide Pods.

Those same people are now criticizing kids for speaking out against school violence because they believe that all teens eat Tide Pods.

This is what is wrong.

Everyone WANTS to judge.

Nobody THINKS about these things.

Nobody asks the teens they actually know about this shit.

People are stupid.

I’m sick and tired of it.

STOP EMBRACING IGNORANCE.

THIS is why Vampires sleep during the day. It has NOTHING to do with sensitivity to light. It is because people are stupid and they rush to embrace ignorance.

How do we change this?

Listen to young people for a change. They are our future. Listen to old people. Sometimes they have good ideas and nobody listens to them anymore.

Or maybe just shut the fuck up for a change and THINK before you post. Listen before you post. Have an original idea.

Go back to bed. Clean out your garage. Take a deep breath. And realize that there are different ideas and opinions out there to every problem.

This is for ALL issues.

In June all of the kids I had watched grow up will now be voting.

ALL OF THEM.

I wish them the best. 

They are our future.

We’ve let them down.

Let’s hope they won’t let us down.

 

Talk to your kids. Listen to them. Don’t talk AT them. Talk with them. Engage them. Force the conversations. Spend time with them. Hug them. Love them.

Don’t parent by accident. Your children deserve more than that.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Musings on Parenting – My heart and soul as a parent

We’ve been having a lot of Halloween fun with “Halloween Hotties” and other spooky and silly Vampire fun but today I want to get back to my core as a parent. Below is my famous list of what I feel, and now know is my ultimate parenting advice and musings. It is what I believe and what I practice. It is my heart and soul as a parent.

Juliette’s Ultimate Musings on Parenting (for Vampires, Werewolves and ALL Regular Humans)

I’m an artist to the core of my soul.  I’m a curious collector of oddities (both objects, experiences and people). I read. I discover. I write. I design. I act. I live as I wish (well, I pretend I do). And I use the word “I” a lot, or at least I used to.

Then I met a remarkable man who thought I was funny and a bit odd and a lot sexy and smart and ….I liked him a lot too because he was smart and sexy.

And that would have been fine to have stayed that way…

Until we had a child.

I never knew I could love as much as this. Both the man and the child. I never knew we could love as much.

I never knew what an amazing journey parenthood would be.

When you bring a baby or child home, whether you give birth to it or adopt it or foster or live with any child, you bring home the entire universe in a kid sized package. And something you’re never told…You NEVER know who you’re bringing home with you.

Your child is not your clone. Your child is someone with their own will and their own view – right from the start.

Throw out the baby and child care books because this little person is going to prove they’re ALL WRONG. And you’ll have more fun than you EVER imagined.

So what does a woman who muses on mom stuff teach the children in her life? 

  • Teach your children, no matter who your children are, or will become, to treasure acts of kindness.
  • Teach them that if they speak rudely to another child, they will forget it in a minute, and the other child will remember it for a lifetime.
  • Teach them the value of life and the value of love.
  • Teach them not to lie. Lies are worse than snakes – they always come back and bite you in the butt and they contain poison.
  • Teach them to learn from their mistakes.
  • Teach them to learn from the mistakes of others (if more people did that there WOULD be world peace).
  • Teach them that they ARE going to make mistakes – big ones – and that you’re always there for them (you’d better be there for them).
  • Teach them to be tough. Tough mentally and physically. We’re not living in la la land folks.
  • Tech them to love learning. Learning is a lifelong process. Like my dad used to say “If you stop learning you might as well be dead.” 
  • Teach them to play, and to keep playing even as adults.
  • Teach them to love and respect nature for it will always be a joy and they will always be amazed.
  • Teach them that it is their responsibility to take care of their environment.
  • Teach them that ignorance is a vice and knowledge is a virtue. Knowledge is power.
  • Teach them the value of friendship. Friendship is not a contest. Friendship is a lazy ride on a raft down the river. You laugh, you rescue each other, you talk until the stars come out, and you remember that trip forever, not expecting anything but to be able to be yourself, without judgement, and to not have the pressure of  judging your friend.
  • Teach them life without a sense of humor is, well, a humorless life. Who needs that?
  • Teach them to tell someone else something good about themselves every single day and MEAN IT. While your at it don’t forget hugs.
  • Teach them to smile (but don’t show your fangs). Smile a lot.
  • Teach them to pay if forward.
  • Teach them that their opinions are valued.
  • Teach them to have an active imagination – especially as they grow older.
  • Teach them that READING will take them everywhere. People who read are interesting. People who don’t…well, we need to encourage them to start.
  • Teach them that people who aren’t like them are interesting. If we were all the same the world would be a very boring place.
  • And last of all teach them that they are ultimately responsible for their own actions and the consequences. Period. No exceptions. None. That’s it. 

Hugs and thanks for visiting.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

My mom blogs about vampires

My mom blogs about vampires

Evolution – For the moon shines bright on those who love

starsI have to admit there have been times when I’ve stopped in my own tracks, dead still, heart almost stopped, cold and in a panic of remorse and dread thinking of something I did in the past. Then I close my eyes, take a deep breath and wonder who the Hell was that person I was a long time ago. She doesn’t exist, or at least not in that form.

Chocolate starts out as bitter dust but then one adds sugar or spices to become a sweet temptation or a wonderful mole. Then again, that is too easy of an analogy for Vampires, and Regular Humans for that matter.  We’re not  something to be merely spiced up. In fact, sometimes spicing up will only do damage and make something wonderful taste bad (or something bad taste even worse). The same goes for adding too much sugar.

I’ve been helping out some fellow Vampires lately – those who are new at being Vampires and those who are adjusting to the modern world we all share – that is what I do. Long story – but I’m fairly good at it.

My young Vampire friend Cody has done remarkably well. He and his ex-girlfriend became Vampires about two years ago. He made it through the change quite well both physically and emotionally. She, unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, not so well.

But things were not always so easy. Cody has a tremendous support system and has been given all the resources and training a new Vampire could every want or imagine. It saved his life and he can respect that.

Unfortunately not all new Vampires can adjust to the change, especially if it wasn’t their choice.

I wanted Cody to meet Matthew, a very old Vampire who has had to recently come into the Modern Vampire world. As we waited for Cody to arrive Matthew and I talked in quiet tones, close as Vampires do.

One can’t live in old castles and in the dark corners or shadows when one has a teenager.  Matthew was an old fashioned Vampire with a Modern Vampire son. This happens a lot. Not just with Vampires but with all sorts of people. Maybe not as much as in the 1960’s and 70’s (I’m just thinking about recent history you all might remember) but it happens. The world is constantly changing and it is always a challenge to parents.

Today was one of those “stop in your tracks” kind of days for Matthew, the old fashioned Vampire who was trying to be a Modern Vampire. On the surface he could pass for any 30 something guy who dressed better than average and looked a little more appealing than average.  Underneath he was a creature of darkness and cold, who’d lived that past few centuries more or less hiding out, lurking in the shadows, seeing the people who live in the light of day as both prey and predator.

When one who was born with a gentle soul is violently made to change into something that goes against the knowledge of everything they’ve ever known to be true, it takes a while getting used to. Stress and trauma can last for years.

Sometimes we must put aside what happened and move forward. Easier said than done. But we can’t let the trauma define us or enslave us or rule us. We accept it and move on – evolve to something new – something better – something stronger.

Like I just said, it is easier for me to write those words than to snap my fingers and make it happen. One can’t just say, “get over it” to someone and expect it to be a one size fits all answer for everything. That is just mean and often shows a total lack of understanding.

So back to my Vampires, for I do consider them mine, for that is what I do. I help Vampires who need help adjusting to new situations. New Vampires learning the ropes or old Vampires who wish to become more Modern. It isn’t easy – but it can be interesting and rewarding and a chance to discover one’s self. It is a chance to start over. It is an opportunity to clean out the cobwebs that clog one’s brain and heart.

Matthew is doing his best not to brood. Vampires are good at brooding – really good. But brooding isn’t productive or positive especially if one is a parent. Sorry to all of you brooders out there, but in my humble opinion (ok, not so humble) parents should not brood. And easy way to remember that is “don’t brood over your brood.”

But I’m getting off subject and don’t really even remember what I was going to write about much less a subject (so I’ll call it musings). Anyway…

Matthew talked of his son, born a Vampire, now without a mother, in a new town, a new school and 16 years old. Josh was such a typical Modern Vampire teen that I had to congratulate the awkward Matthew for doing such a good job. Matthew was definitely a master at what I call Deliberate Parenting – that is thinking about how you parent and how your child will fare in the world because of that.

The old Vampire Matthew had issues with his own life but he didn’t want to pass those issues on to his son.  He wanted his son to be strong and successful and most of all happy.

We talked quietly, Matthew and I.  It was the little things that he could relate to. He smiled when I told him Cody was getting romantically involved with my Grandmamma Lola (much to my chagrin.) Matthew had known Lola years ago, hundreds of years ago, before the Modern Vampire Movement. Anyway, we spoke of a lot of things and eventually I could see the cobwebs and shadows that covered his eyes start to vanish, especially when we spoke about his son Josh.

“I can sometimes remember before I was a Vampires,” Matthew began. “I wasn’t always the kind of person I want my son to be. I thought this was my punishment until I met Josh’s mother. She was so strong and wanted for both of us to make a new start through our own child. It seemed so unrealistic, but we were determined to be good parents and the kind of parents…” He looked away, unable to finish. I took his cold hand in mine.

“You’re a good father Matthew. You’re one of the best. Josh is a great kid.”

He squeezed my hand, just slightly, I could feel his heart speed up just a bit, from almost stopped to slow and steady.

So when it all comes down to it, our kids live now, and so we need to appreciate their world and help guide them into the future. For our children are the future – not only our future, but more so theirs.

And since the future belongs to all of us, we can put away any ghosts of our personal pasts that haunt us. For the moon shines bright on those who love, and learn and evolve and hope.

So today – go hug your kids, your friends, your parents, your cats…your Vampires.

xoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Why I don’t use parental control software

For those who are new to this blog…

Vampire Maman 101

  • Talk with your kids
  • Keep the lines of communication open
  • Be the PARENT
  • Show that your trust them
  • Show that they can trust you
  • TALK WITH THEM 
  • Listen to them
  • Laugh with your kids
  • Tell them you love them

And sometimes we get into issues with Vampires, ghosts, poetry, books and other things but this isn’t one of those posts.

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Why I don’t use parental control software

or

Your kids and the Internet

The BEST resource is the FBI: http://www.fbi.gov/stats-services/publications/parent-guide. They cover exactly what I’m covering here but not in such an emotional way (ranting I think is the term I’m looking for). Check this link. Read the article. See if they’ll come out to your school. 

 Now if you want MY view (Vampire Maman) keep reading.

 

Why I don’t use parental controls on my home computers.

I am not one of those over protective parents who monitors every move, thought and action my child takes. I want them to learn how to make responsible choices and know there are consequences to their choices – that includes the Internet.

  • From an early age my kids have learned that we can TRUST each other. Sure we all have our secrets. BUT we’ve talked about the Internet from the time they were toddlers. We’ve sat together at the computer and shared.
  • Most kids are not looking for porn and they are uncomfortable with it. They’ll tell you that they are as frustrated as you are when they do a search for an English paper or history project and come up with pornography. So you tell them to just close it up. Bing seems to be the worst at bringing up porn images so we use Google and other search images. So yes, sometimes the image controls are in order if the kids keep getting nasty images.
  • I’ve used the blocking function on Bing on MY computer. I swear, one day I looked up images for “mom” and you wouldn’t believe what I found. YUCK.
  • If your kids are doing research for school half the stuff they look for won’t come up if you have parental controls on your computer. Most controls are stupid – they mean well but they can’t tell the difference between a breast on a porn site and a recipe for chicken. It makes it extremely frustrating for kids.

My kids have discovered the world on the Internet. And they share it with me. They’ve found music that isn’t on the radio. They’ve found artists. They’ve found stuff so funny we almost pee our pants. They find podcasts and news and stories. They’ve found blogs and games and fashion. They’ve found so much that has made them think.  And we SHARE and laugh and wonder and discuss what we see.

If the controls were always set there is so much I would have missed out on (that is a very selfish thing to say – but yes, I use my kids to find cool stuff.)

  • So if you’re afraid? That is OK. We’re all afraid – that is part of being a parent.

Talk to your kids about the Internet. Talk to them about creepers. TALK TO THEM. Just like you should be talking to them about SEX and DRUGS and ALCOHOL and THE IMPORTANCE of a GOOD EDUCATION and SELF IMAGE.

I swear to God what is wrong with some people? What is so scary about talking to your kids?

Go on the Internet WITH your kids.  Know what they’re looking at. Share with them. Laugh with them. Learn with them.

And this isn’t just with the Internet – do it with everything.

Honestly, if you’re going to have kids SHARE with them. It isn’t all about babies and cuteness and the right stroller. Like puppies and kittens they grow up and honestly, I think they’re more fun when they’re older. PLUS it is your responsibility to be an involved parent (or you might as well not have kids). And I’m not sorry to be so blunt. If your going to call yourself a parent then BE a parent.

And don’t say you don’t have time. 99% of my mom friends work full-time and do ALL that I mentioned above. No excuses. These are your kids and you only get one shot at it.

Consequences if kids misuse the Internet: Discuss this with your child/teen.

  • Check with your school and local laws. If they cyber-bully, post anything about sex (including but on exclusive to photos) or do equally stupid things they could get suspended from school or worse.
  • Tell your kids if they do stupid things they’ll be grounded forever or at least until they’re 30 and/or prove they are smart enough to know better.
  • If anyone takes a photos of your child it will be posted. Even if their “best” friend says it won’t be posted it will. Kids – just say NO to photos. Don’t get undressed in front of anyone. Don’t lift your shirt. Don’t have sex with stupid boys (or girls) who take photos. Don’t put yourself in a stupid situation unless you really want everyone to immediately know you’re stupid. Tell THAT to your kids. Do it NOW – TODAY. TELL THEM. Don’t threaten them – just tell them that if they do any of that the entire world will know how STUPID they are.
  • If they use the Internet to look up porn and racists things and violent horrible things then you need to sit them down and talk to them. Sometimes they think awful things are funny and it isn’t funny – they need to know. Don’t yell at them or threaten – just talk to them and tell them why it isn’t a good idea. What you tell them is up to your and your beliefs. Yes, I’ve had to do this. Their dad had to do this and DAD wasn’t as nice as I was about it.
  • And you know what? You are the parent so YOU can take away the phone and the computer. You are in control as long as they live under your roof.

Things I would have missed if my kids couldn’t freely roam the Internet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQO-aOdJLiw

http://sacramentozoo.blogspot.com/

http://www.fueledbyramen.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ejc9GrooSKg

http://www.modcloth.com/

http://www.petplace.com/dog-videos/wombat-belly-rubs.aspx?source=bookmark

laptop

Deliberate Parenting

Don’t parent with your eyes closed. Don’t wake up surprised one day when it is too late.

I raised my kids deliberately. I raised them not to be bully bait. I raised them to be confident. I raised them to fly with their own wings and pursue their own interests. I raised them to think. I raised them to see the big picture. I raised them not to be stupid or sheltered. I raised them to question what they hear and see – even if they see and hear it from me. I raised them to realize that one day they’ll have to make it on their own and that they’ll have to fight tooth and claw.

They know how to come to their own conclusions. They know that reputation is everything. They know that being fair and good and standing up for what is right and good is everything.

They’ll be far better people than I will ever be.

They aren’t perfect, but at least they have a chance.

I don’t always agree with them but at least we discuss it and as a parent I have the last word, period.

And they still cuddle with me and need me. We’ll always have fun.

Don’t parent by accident. Do it deliberately.

I’ll say it is important for your Vampire kid, but it is important for all kids, even Werewolves and especially regular human kids.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

blu butterfly