Vampires Reflect On The Pandemic

Jake: When everything closed down it was a challenge. It isn’t like I could just run to the store. Sure I could get by on the bottled stuff, but it isn’t the same as fresh. I need that, you know, human interaction.

Elizabeth: 2020 and 2021 proves that even if you’re the prettiest girl in the room, if nobody else is there it really doesn’t matter.

Jayne: My workload tripled during the pandemic. I didn’t have time to be creative looking for donors so I signed up for Tinder. There were plenty of guys who weren’t too concerned with social distancing. For the most part it was fun. Everyone got what they wanted. I even have a few regulars now. They say they’ve never slept better. Yeah, blood loss will do that to you.

Max: Over the past month I’ve fed almost exclusively on Vampire Hunters. You can’t believe how satisfying that is.

Gunter: I know a few bottom feeders who are going around to the homeless camps. I try to avoid it. It just seems opportunistic.

Roger: I got my shots. Moderna. You won’t be able to go anywhere without that card. Sure I could have made a fake card, but I wanted to be seen getting the shot. I wanted the experience. I have to be as close to warm blooded normal as possible.

Ginger: I went right for the easy targets. Before the election in November there was a protest at the Capitol every weekend. I went for the extreme nut jobs. Most of them didn’t believe in social distancing so there was always someone I could isolate for a quick bite.

Randolpho: Creating a bubble of close warm friends was the key to success. I’d always bring food, or books, or wine. I’d make them laugh. That was the key. I don’t want to take without leaving anything.

Stay safe. Continue to wear your mask. Be kind. Check in on those who might be alone or need extra help. Plant flowers. Don’t be a dick. Kiss a Vampire (you’ll thank me for it later.)

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Interview with Writer Juliette Kings

Vampire Maman

Vampire Maman


A few months back the lovely and talented blogger Raani York asked me a few questions about writing.  Thank you Raani. It is an honor to be part of your interview series.

If you’re new to Vampire Maman please take time to explore the blog and take a look at the variety of subjects.

You won’t  find much “Dracula” stuff but plenty of Modern Vampire tales along with more human touches. In fact you won’t find a single red lined opera cape here (but my brother Andy is an opera singer and a Vampire.)

Enjoy and thanks for coming by.



Interview with a Vampire… the truth as we choose to tell it.

I was asked to be interviewed because I’m a Vampire. For the most part nobody knows I’m a Vampire… Anyway I was asked to be interviewed for some “paranormal” publication. Yes, I was talked into this one by someone who is going to owe me big time.

So what was I going to tell them?

I could tell them I like TV.  I might watch way too much TV but when you’re up all night… Zero Below just started… it is about people who live above the Arctic Circle. It isn’t done like some fake wacked out reality show. And…well, it is a little known fact that Vampires like to watch TV. We like movies a lot too. We also of course read a lot. If you find a Vampire you’ll find a book.

Of course blood will come up. Yes, that is the one big thing that differentiates us from them. My favorite types are poet’s blood and blood from lawyers. Now if I can find a lawyer who writes poetry I’ve found a little bit of heaven. My brother Val likes Vegan blood these days, then again it might just be that hot girl and her friends he… anyway…

The subject of being “human” always comes up. I can only imagine what I’ve missed out on, but then again don’t we ALL imagine what we might have missed out on had we been born as someone else, in another time or place, to different parents or a different gender? Or maybe we don’t wonder that at all. But they always ask.

They’ll ask more questions about my “Vampire powers.” Sure, if I try I can read your mind. I can make your forget. I can seduce you without you even knowing. I can make you long for me and not know why or who or what I am. I can make you feel good or I can send you to Hell.

Don’t ask how many people I’ve turned into Vampires. That is like asking someone how many people they’ve had sex with. You just don’t ask questions like that in polite society.

They’ll ask how old I am, then they’ll stare me. They’ll stare at me anyway. They’ll peer into my face looking for something. Then they’ll ask to see my fangs. They always want to see the fangs.

And how about those souls? Ugh. No no no. I’m not telling you about my souls or what I do or don’t do with them or if I have one or not.

I am not a rouge Vampire who rips flesh and has come back to life without a soul and the personality of a rabid wolverine. I don’t have fancy parties where I kill all my guests (I don’t want that kind of mess.) I don’t walk in league with dark lords or sleep in a crypt. I don’t mess with children. I can drain your body of every drop of blood you have but I choose not to do that.

Yes, I can eat regular food, or at least some of it. Processed sugar makes me violently ill, as do most baked goods.

I use a lot of sunscreen and have prescription sunglasses.

If I choose I can tell them my story about my life in three centuries. I can tell them about how I remember when the 120 year old building I’m meeting them in was new.

Should I tell them that we’re romantics and experts at writing love letters? Should I tell them that we can turn our hearts stone cold and uncaring at will?

When they look in the mirror will they see a shadow of a Vampire who hunts them? Maybe… maybe not.

I can tell them about things that would haunt them for the rest of their lives. I can tell them things that would make them never want to sleep again. I can put the fear in them so that they will never leave their homes after dark EVER again. I can make them go insane. Or not.

They ALWAYS ask the same questions.

Half of the time (more than half) they ask “would you turn me into a Vampire?” Of course the answer is a resounding NO. Please, you don’t know anything about it. You have no idea. And that is where I roll my eyes or maybe growl.

When I arrived Cody was waiting for me at the door, my dear Cody who has been a Vampire for only 2 years now.

“So what should I tell them?” Cody asked with one of his fun boyish smiles. At 34 he is cute and smart and has taken to the Vampire life like a champ.

“Tell them you’re the bastard child of Thomas Jefferson and Martha Washington. You were then raised by an old Indian Woman and her Werewolf companion.”


“Sure. They’ll believe anything.”

“I was thinking more along the lines of bastard son of Louis the 14th. You know, the Sun King.”

“Good thinking and a much better story.”

“Depending on what genre you want to be in today.” Cody smiled and put his arm around my shoulders.

I do love Cody. We met the journalists in the back booth of a downtown bar. It was dark and fitting for such an interview. They seemed surprised when they saw us. We were a stylish young couple who looked as normal and innocent as anyone else in the place. We were the last two people you’d pick out as Vampires.

Then again what does a Vampire look like? What does anyone look like?

In the end Cody and I told them that we’d talk to them but we wouldn’t tell them anything. We’d just let them know that they’d met a couple of Vampires and lived to tell about it. In the end we showed them our fangs – something they’d never forget.

And eventually they’d forget most of the details. It would be frustrating but, oh well.

All in all it was fun. I know my attitude sucked at first but that is not unusual for me. I don’t want to do something – go in complaining and end up glad I went. Cody was delightful and the journalists were nice people. They really were. Sincere and curious. I like that in people. I might have cocktails with them again. I might even have a little more than cocktails.

We all have our stories both public and private. Different versions for different situations.

This story will come out and Cody and I will be described as mysterious, elusive and charming. Which is always the truth, or at least the only truth we want to tell.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

(Thanks again Cody)


A Toast to Dragons – Drasmyr Interview

I’ve reposted a fun interview from the blog of author Matthew D. Ryan. (Thanks Matthew). I thought you all would enjoy it!

Drasmyr Interview (Re-Post)

This was originally posted on another blog during my blog tour, but I liked it so much, I wanted to post it here as well. So, without further preamble, I give you:

The Drasmyr Interview:

Today we have with us, Lucian val Drasmyr… warrior, general, and vampire. He’s walked the world of Athron for a thousand years, and is here visiting Earth for this once in a lifetime interview at A Toast to Dragons with esteemed guest journalist and newsman Chris Matthews (not really, but we’ll just pretend).


Chris Matthews: Greetings, Lucian. It’s good to see you. I’m glad you agreed to this interview. You look a little pale, but I guess that’s to be expected in your line of work. Your journey here must have been exhausting. How are you feeling today?

Lucian: A bit peckish, actually.


Chris Matthews: <pales> Oh, really? Uh… um… That’s a trifle unsettling. I’ll just get going with the… rest of the interview. Um… how would you describe your relationship with Clarissa? Is it romantic?

Lucian: Love is an emotion that vampires—real vampires—cannot fathom, let alone feel. Your kind would do well to put your fanciful notions of devoted, affectionate vampires back in the graves from whence they came, and restore us to our rightful place as heirs of the Damned. As for Clarissa, she served a purpose.


Chris Matthews:  Can you describe what it’s like to sink your teeth into a human being?

Lucian: My teeth puncture flesh. Then, I taste blood. A lot of it.


Chris Matthews: Can you describe the bloodlust?

Lucian: Perhaps by analogy… not drinking blood is like multiplying your libido by ten, then taking a vow of celibacy.


Chris Matthews: Ouch… how about religion. Interested readers want to know: do you believe in God?

Lucian: The god of your world or mine? Or are you going to be philosophical and posit a god of all worlds? It matters little to me. There may be a single God, or many lesser gods, but none have ever served me well. Since I became a vampire, more often than not, I find myself on the opposing side of whichever god is involved in the altercation. It’s a habit I have.


Chris Matthews: Do you have any qualms about what you do?

Lucian: No. Do you?


Chris Matthews:  My understanding is that you became a vampire by choice. Is that true? And if so, why did you do it?

Lucian: I was a zealot, totally devoted to the man I believed to be a god. I would have done anything he asked me to, perhaps even commit suicide if it served his cause. And, in a way, that is exactly what I did. I died to my old self and my old life, and was reborn as something greater. But there at the beginning, I was little more than a mindless minion.


Chris Matthews:  Do you have any regrets about your decision?

Lucian: Life is filled with decisions and regrets. I try not to dwell on my own, because I have a thousand years worth of such deliberations to burden me. It can get tiresome if you spend too much time looking behind. I try to focus on the future, because I have a lot of it to look forward to. <licks lips>


Chris Matthews: What separates you from other vampires?

Lucian: My patience for impertinent questions and sniveling lackeys. If the truth be known, it is my personality that distinguishes me. Although the powers of vampires vary from tale to tale, one cannot gain distinction by a clever use of innate ability. It is the vampires inner world that makes him (or her) unique. Pining, love-struck weakling or ruthless killer, it is what he uses his gifts for that determines whether or not he will establish a potent and lasting legacy.


Chris Matthews: Do you have any weaknesses?

Lucian: No.


Chris Matthews: Surely, there must be—

Lucian: No.


Chris Matthews: Okay, moving on. What are your goals in life?

Lucian: Some vampires seek companionship—I am not one of those. Others seek world domination—if the world offered anything of value beyond cattle, perhaps I would be one of those. But as it is, I exist to feed and accrue personal power. Politics, I can do without. Should it ever come my way, though, my greatest desire is revenge.


Chris Matthews:  Revenge? On who?

Lucian: On all those who have ever done me wrong. <shrugs> And on some of those who haven’t.


Chris Matthews: Interesting. If you could only kill Coragan of Esperia orRegecon the Archmage… who would you choose?

Lucian: Edward Cullen. Because I like to hurt sparkly things.


Chris Matthews: What do you do in your spare time?

Lucian: I read books. Philosophy, magical treatises, and historical texts.


Chris Matthews: Interesting. What is your greatest accomplishment?

Lucian: My accomplishments are too many to name, too great to be catalogued, and too far beyond the ken of your kind to bear scrutiny. I have walked the world of Athron for a thousand years; that alone is a triumph compared to the feeble existence your kind can eke out. I know more about the workings of the world and the fabric of time than the wisest of men. Don’t insult me by pretending you can grasp even a sliver of my greatness.


Chris Matthews: Er…if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

Lucian: A tree?


Chris Matthews:  Yes. A tree.

Lucian: Is that some reference to wooden stakes? Is that a threat?


Chris Matthews: <wets self> Um. No. Readers just want to know these things.

Lucian: Then I pity your authors.


Chris Matthews:  Okay. Moving on… It appears you are wanted on Athron for a number of murders. Have you ever considered immigrating to the United States to escape your persecutors?

Lucian: You give my persecutors far too much credit. I don’t fear mortals. I’ve seen nations crumble to dust and demigods meet their undoing. What could a few pesky wizards and an odd warrior or two hope to bring to bear against me?


Chris Matthews: Do you have any advice for the modern American teen?

Lucian: Eat your vegetables. You’ll taste better.


Chris Matthews: How many people have you killed?

Lucian: One too few.


Chris Matthews: Well, that concludes our interview for today. We are glad you could make it, Mr. Drasmyr. We are curious, though, what inspired you to make the trip… it is a long way, and a most difficult journey, I imagine?


Lucian: The author and I came to… an arrangement. <licks lips>

Chris Matthews:  What do you mean?… Oh, God… No… Aaaahhhh!


Lucian: Blecch! Journalists. They all taste the same.


About atoasttodragons

The author, Matthew D. Ryan, lives in northern New York on the shores of Lake Champlain, one of the largest lakes in the continental United States, famous for the Battle of Plattsburgh and the ever-elusive Lake Champlain Monster, a beastie more commonly referred to as Champy. Matthew has studied philosophy, mathematics, and computer science in the academic world. He has earned a black belt in martial arts.

Face Your Fears – in a refreshing sort of way…

I’ve had the pleasure to know a young woman who has a most unique way with words. It is play and poetry. It makes you think. It makes you think WTF? It makes you think “I like it! Wait, I love it”.

Welcome to a unique world of facing your phobias with Jamee.

12/ Fear gelotophobia BEING LAUGHED AT.

{(Improvised/ Non improvised)}

12a/To put back or establish again as in a former position or state a movie that is advertised to draw customer
PAST THE MOST DIFFICULT TIME CONSUMING, OR DANGEROUS PART OR PERIOD any place or object hallowed by its history or, associations because of prize money.

{(Registration of your choice.)}

To put back or establish again as in a former position or state Exclamation’s of delight or approval because of Money {(esp- paper money)} recovering property; titles; etc by virtue of superior LEGAL Title’s prominence; distinctiveness; or vividness, due to contrast.

{(put- out)}

Reinstated coming attraction over the hump shrine- from PEWTER.

Symptom of one’s SENSITIVITY.
{(Sometimes dumb is staying alive)}

Reinstated yowzer from cabbage EVICTING relief.

From Jamee:

“I can’t waste my time. I tell myself- Don’t ever say that again. An eyeball came out of the sun! Hero’s sit back sometimes, to concentrate on feeling large. I’m here: when asking, WHERE AM I? I’m not small. I can help when asking, where am I. Whether a reality or a fantasy. I can define good and bad times relating to fear, and spontaniousness. When an eyeball comes out of the sun. Here I am, Ratio Me Trying Vs Niave Me daring not to be objectified, but considerate. Its a state/ A choice.”


Symptom- THE PAST.
Follow your heart.

Reinstated mutable UNDER- JACKET preliminary.

Follow your brain.

Reinstated clay pigeon OZONE big- time.

The order of comfort.

To put back or establish again as in a former position or state changeable FOLDED PAPER, OR OPEN ENVELOPE CONTAINING AN OFFICIAL DOCUMENT preceding and leading up to the main part, matter, or business; introductory; preparatory.

Symptom- STRENGTH OF A MIND. The order of urgency.

To put back or establish again as in a former position or state a moving target for shooting CLEAN/ BRACING AIR AS FOUND AT THE SEASIDE the highest or most important level in any enterprise.

Check out Jamee’s Blog


Why Vampires Like Poetry

An earthbound angel with crumpled, cardboard wings” – Tag Line Tuesday with Stephanie Abbott

A wonderful interview of author Stephanie Abbot (grown-up books) by M. Edward McNally.