Dear Social Media Friends

oscar the cat

Dear Social Media Friends,

  • I am in no mood to “share” generic cause posts on FB.
  • I will not do math problems. Every answer will be zero.
  • I will not find the panda in a sea of other animals.
  • I will not type amen or respond to anything having to do with religion. Keep it to yourself.
  • I will laugh at your funny memes.
  • I will comment nicely on your pet photos or any other animal photos.
  • I will comment nicely on your posts of kids doing craft projects or online classes.
  • I will read your poetry.
  • I will listen to your music.
  • I will enjoy photos of your flowers.
  • For people on Twitter I’m pretty much done with you. What the fuck is up with follow parties? Cut it out.
  • Stop whining about being stuck at home. We’re all stuck at home. Read a book. Most of the classics are free online. Educate yourself.
  • I do not care what famous attention whores people are doing or saying during this time. Why should anyone care?
  • I will be amusing.
  • I will share amusing things.
  • I will be encouraging and try to support my friends.
  • I will continue to write about Parenting, Vampire, Ghost, and Werewolf things.
  • Stay positive
  • Keep writing, doing art, and being creative.


For all times on or off of the Internet:

Wash your hands.

Wear a face mask if you must go out.

Call anyone who might need extra help, is alone, or is in need. Check up on anyone who is at risk for being lonely or depression.

Stay positive.

Call your kids if they’re not with you.

Hug your kids if they are with you.

FaceTime, text, Zoom, email, call, blog, drive by and honk.



Have more coffee.

That’s all. Just venting but trying to stay positive. Even Vampires need to stay positive in weird times.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman




Ask Juliette: Internet Trolls, and a few other items of great importance.

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire, Advice for Everyone) is a regular feature here at

All questions are from my readers. If you have a question about anything (and I mean anything) just send me a note at juliettevampiremom @


Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

Lately it seems that I can’t view a single cute or inspiring thing on the internet without seeing at least one asshat trying to ruin the moment with a negative comment. There’s a puppy cuddling a baby, someone says the baby will get germs. There’s a puppy drinking from a baby bottle, some idiot says milk is bad for dogs. (puppies are bottle-fed with special formula, dumbass) A paraplegic rider demonstrates how she mounts her horse, which is trained to lie down. The trolls spewed their poison all over that one as well.

The simple solution is to stop reading comments on things people post, and yet I find myself drawn there every time like a rubbernecker at a car crash. I worry that I’m developing some kind of sick obsession.

What is wrong with people?

And what is wrong with me, that I feel compelled to seek out the trolls? Does that make me a troll?


What is wrong with people? They’re assholes. But I’m going to show a few examples. No, I don’t have any answers. Trolls need to grow up and get a life.

If you look at trolls are you a troll? Absolutely not. You’re right, it is like car crash or a train wreck. But it pisses us off because it is like seeing a car crash caused by a drunk driver.

We’ve all left nasty comments (don’t tell me you haven’t) on sites. I don’t do it anymore because when I have I usually feel guilty and troll-like. You just have to let it go. LET IT GO.

LET IT GO like James Bay or Elsa in Frozen but neither one of their songs work for this – so let’s move on.

Now that the US Presidential election is looming and in our faces 24/7 the trolls are out in full force. Be careful. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into the mess. Nothing good will come of it.

For the sake of this post we’re going to discuss serial trollers. You know who they are. They’re the people who ALWAYS have to leave a nasty comment or something that contradicts what you’re trying to say. They’re the kind who like to leave their nasty snail slime trail on news stories, blogs, and public online social media groups.

From Wikipedia: “In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion,[3] often for their own amusement.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to forward a feel good news story (usually on NPR) to someone but then saw all of the asshole troll comments on it. I swear some of the regular trollers have no lives. They can’t have lives – not with all of their narrow minded negative energy that they MUST get out.

I have three examples of crap I’ve recently seen.

Linda Holmes writes the popular culture feature Monkey See. Even though I’m a hundred years younger than she is, and don’t always have the same taste as she does,  (but what is there to agree with it is just a popular culture feature to be entertained by) but I love her writing. She is bright and fresh and funny. Anyway, on a recent column about a The Bachelorette TV show she had to start it with an anti-troll disclaimer.

[Note: This is where a spoiler warning would usually go, but in this case, the warning is this: it’s a post about The Bachelorette. You should only read it if you’re interested in a post about The Bachelorette. If you’re not interested in a post about The Bachelorette, I can recommend this story about a snowy owl or this examination of ancient Chinese beer. If you’re not interested in The Bachelorette or owls or beer, I’m out of ideas.]

But even with that there were trolls making comments. The other readers pointed out the disclaimer but trolls gotta troll. They can’t help it. It is their sick and twisted fix. But what is with the guy who doesn’t understand that the program is just fluffy entertainment and went on a rant about politics and the fall of Western civilization?

This is the full article:

I don’t watch The Bachelorette but I thought the article was laugh-out-loud funny.

Another example was a story with the title, World’s First Surviving Septuplets, Born In ’97, Graduate From High School.

I thought the article about the McCaughey siblings was sweet. I remember when those babies were born. Seven! Count em. And their parents raised them ALL at the same time. Can you imagine the diapers? Can you imagine having seven toddlers? It was a feel good article. But the trolls have to move in and make about every kind of mean and nasty comment they could. Why? I have no idea. Those kids aren’t hurting anyone. And to make matters worse they might read the comments. But trolls don’t care about that.

I’ve noticed on news sites that it is the same trolls coming up over and over. Get where this is going? On one of my own social media sites I used to have a cat hater hating on my cats. WTF? I’m not going to hate on your pets.

Recently (today) a young friend of mine posted this disclaimer before posting a funny video on Facebook.

Please, no “this is why you don’t cater to children” comments. We’ve all gone down this path at least once (some only once) and found ourselves eating the damn toast over the trashcan.

No, we don’t give into toddlers like that, well usually, but the video was funny. If you’ve lived with a wild chimp, I mean toddler, you know what the maker of the video was getting at. But it is a shame that the young mother who posted the video had to tell her online friends to back off.

The Artistic (Figure) Rollerskating community is filled with trolls. My own child (a US National Champion) spends a lot of time defending young skaters against older trolls. There are first the old timers who do everything they can to put down young skaters. Yes, old people are trolling young people in their sport. They throw out their old nasty phlegm about how the skaters aren’t any good and how their dresses are ugly. Really? If they want the sport they loved to die they’re doing a good job and helping it along to it’s grave with their negativity and lack of support. By the way – the skaters are better now and their dresses are better than ever. These old folks never even think that when they spread their negative crap that the young people who are working so hard see it. So shut the fuck up skating trolls – or anyone who trolls any young people in an activity they love.

What is even worse is that the old trolls give younger trolls permission to be mean. And don’t even get me started on trolls from one sport who troll another sport (don’t even get me started on them.) If you want respect don’t be a troll. Make sure you tell your kids that – even if your kids are grown.

Earlier this week I asked my readers to give me their thoughts on trolls.

From Kevin A. Ranson:

I think Trolls enjoy participation, but they also like reality TV drama. It’s their chance to be snarky safely behind their keyboards without worry about other people’s feelings — which may say more about the Trolls than their targets.

That said, however, posting anything online invites conversation. If the comments are left on, it may be naive to expect that only supportive statements will be made. Some folks don’t have the education or the experience concerning a particular subject matter and may be asking ACTUAL questions in a way that may sound Trollish while not trying to be. Being accused of being a Troll in a new group can transform someone into a Troll; after all, shouldn’t they act accordingly if no one will take them seriously?

Online conversation tends to exist in a microcosm of support where people may expect to be safe — Facebook groups, for example — but a difference of opinions can manifest between even the best of friends. My own policy is to allow Trolls to be themselves on my threads while I ask them constructive questions to see if they are indeed a Troll or, perhaps, have been transformed into one. One aspect of this behavior tends to be intelligent, articulate, net-savvy folks looking for someplace to belong; make friends with a Troll and they will be your online friend forever!

Many folks I’ve met online started out as Trolls but have since joined a contingent of Trollhunters: Trolls who hunt Trolls — a-holes who hunt a-holes. These are friendly but arrogant folks who target Trolls, luring them away down dark tunnels until they find themselves surrounded and left with little choice but to run screaming back under the rocks from whence they came…and it can be quite entertaining to watch.

For Kevin’s blog Thinking Skull CLICK here. 

From Holly:

I will get personal attacks on my weight or looks when I post pictures of myself (well, when I did, I mean) but they would filter out and never get published. Either I delete and don’t care or, depending on where I am in the depression and such and take it all completely personally.

I know that it has become popular for some people to troll-track or expose people for who they really are, but I view that as just as lousy behavior as the troll. Even in the name of defense, creeping is creeping.

I agree with Holly. The beauty of most social media and blogs is that you can delete trolls, block them out, and get rid of them. Holly’s smart and entertaining blog is

For my original troll post and the other comments from my readers (THANK YOU EVERYONE) click here. 

When I first started I had a few trolls. OK maybe not complete trolls – they were just people who wanted to tell me that I knew nothing about blogging or Vampires (really?) or spelling. OK I admit I know nothing about spelling. I had a few tell me that I was going to Hell for writing about paranormal creatures of darkness. But I just blocked them out and they went away.

But back to the original question… I don’t think we’ll ever get rid of trolls. Maybe if we just all ignore them they’ll go away.

~ Juliette


I added this image of Vincent Price just because he is smoking HOT.

I added this image of Vincent Price just because he is smoking HOT.

Dear readers, I’m soooooo behind, so I only have a few short questions left.


Dear Juliette,

My boyfriend has no sense of style. If we’re going out he’ll wear an oversized tee shirt and baggy sports shorts, no matter what the occasion. How can I get him to dress nice without hurting his feelings? 


Ask your boyfriend the age-old question, “Are you going to wear that?”

Another version of that same question is, “You’re not wearing that are you?” I find that one the most effective at my house.

Be firm. If he doesn’t get a clue take him shopping and show him the following video cause every girl’s crazy bout a sharp dressed man.

~ Juliette

Dear Juliette,

I met the perfect guy, except I just found out he is a Vampire. What should I do?


Run away.

~ Juliette


oscar_artistic copy


Ask Juliette is a regular feature on Vampire Maman. It is usually posted on Thursday. If you have any questions about anything please ask and I’ll answer the best I can. Send your questions about relationships, parenting, vampires, paranormal stuff, life, love, cats, oranges, ghosts, werewolves, fashion, cooking, art, and everything else to juliettevampiremom at gmail dot com.

Thanks for dropping by. xoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Ask Juliette



Interview with Writer Juliette Kings

Vampire Maman

Vampire Maman


A few months back the lovely and talented blogger Raani York asked me a few questions about writing.  Thank you Raani. It is an honor to be part of your interview series.

If you’re new to Vampire Maman please take time to explore the blog and take a look at the variety of subjects.

You won’t  find much “Dracula” stuff but plenty of Modern Vampire tales along with more human touches. In fact you won’t find a single red lined opera cape here (but my brother Andy is an opera singer and a Vampire.)

Enjoy and thanks for coming by.



Why I don’t use parental control software

For those who are new to this blog…

Vampire Maman 101

  • Talk with your kids
  • Keep the lines of communication open
  • Be the PARENT
  • Show that your trust them
  • Show that they can trust you
  • Listen to them
  • Laugh with your kids
  • Tell them you love them

And sometimes we get into issues with Vampires, ghosts, poetry, books and other things but this isn’t one of those posts.


Why I don’t use parental control software


Your kids and the Internet

The BEST resource is the FBI: They cover exactly what I’m covering here but not in such an emotional way (ranting I think is the term I’m looking for). Check this link. Read the article. See if they’ll come out to your school. 

 Now if you want MY view (Vampire Maman) keep reading.


Why I don’t use parental controls on my home computers.

I am not one of those over protective parents who monitors every move, thought and action my child takes. I want them to learn how to make responsible choices and know there are consequences to their choices – that includes the Internet.

  • From an early age my kids have learned that we can TRUST each other. Sure we all have our secrets. BUT we’ve talked about the Internet from the time they were toddlers. We’ve sat together at the computer and shared.
  • Most kids are not looking for porn and they are uncomfortable with it. They’ll tell you that they are as frustrated as you are when they do a search for an English paper or history project and come up with pornography. So you tell them to just close it up. Bing seems to be the worst at bringing up porn images so we use Google and other search images. So yes, sometimes the image controls are in order if the kids keep getting nasty images.
  • I’ve used the blocking function on Bing on MY computer. I swear, one day I looked up images for “mom” and you wouldn’t believe what I found. YUCK.
  • If your kids are doing research for school half the stuff they look for won’t come up if you have parental controls on your computer. Most controls are stupid – they mean well but they can’t tell the difference between a breast on a porn site and a recipe for chicken. It makes it extremely frustrating for kids.

My kids have discovered the world on the Internet. And they share it with me. They’ve found music that isn’t on the radio. They’ve found artists. They’ve found stuff so funny we almost pee our pants. They find podcasts and news and stories. They’ve found blogs and games and fashion. They’ve found so much that has made them think.  And we SHARE and laugh and wonder and discuss what we see.

If the controls were always set there is so much I would have missed out on (that is a very selfish thing to say – but yes, I use my kids to find cool stuff.)

  • So if you’re afraid? That is OK. We’re all afraid – that is part of being a parent.

Talk to your kids about the Internet. Talk to them about creepers. TALK TO THEM. Just like you should be talking to them about SEX and DRUGS and ALCOHOL and THE IMPORTANCE of a GOOD EDUCATION and SELF IMAGE.

I swear to God what is wrong with some people? What is so scary about talking to your kids?

Go on the Internet WITH your kids.  Know what they’re looking at. Share with them. Laugh with them. Learn with them.

And this isn’t just with the Internet – do it with everything.

Honestly, if you’re going to have kids SHARE with them. It isn’t all about babies and cuteness and the right stroller. Like puppies and kittens they grow up and honestly, I think they’re more fun when they’re older. PLUS it is your responsibility to be an involved parent (or you might as well not have kids). And I’m not sorry to be so blunt. If your going to call yourself a parent then BE a parent.

And don’t say you don’t have time. 99% of my mom friends work full-time and do ALL that I mentioned above. No excuses. These are your kids and you only get one shot at it.

Consequences if kids misuse the Internet: Discuss this with your child/teen.

  • Check with your school and local laws. If they cyber-bully, post anything about sex (including but on exclusive to photos) or do equally stupid things they could get suspended from school or worse.
  • Tell your kids if they do stupid things they’ll be grounded forever or at least until they’re 30 and/or prove they are smart enough to know better.
  • If anyone takes a photos of your child it will be posted. Even if their “best” friend says it won’t be posted it will. Kids – just say NO to photos. Don’t get undressed in front of anyone. Don’t lift your shirt. Don’t have sex with stupid boys (or girls) who take photos. Don’t put yourself in a stupid situation unless you really want everyone to immediately know you’re stupid. Tell THAT to your kids. Do it NOW – TODAY. TELL THEM. Don’t threaten them – just tell them that if they do any of that the entire world will know how STUPID they are.
  • If they use the Internet to look up porn and racists things and violent horrible things then you need to sit them down and talk to them. Sometimes they think awful things are funny and it isn’t funny – they need to know. Don’t yell at them or threaten – just talk to them and tell them why it isn’t a good idea. What you tell them is up to your and your beliefs. Yes, I’ve had to do this. Their dad had to do this and DAD wasn’t as nice as I was about it.
  • And you know what? You are the parent so YOU can take away the phone and the computer. You are in control as long as they live under your roof.

Things I would have missed if my kids couldn’t freely roam the Internet:


SPAM SPAM SPAM – not a tasty subject

I’m sure all of my fellow bloggers have been getting a lot of SPAM lately (ok always) but thank goodness for those of us using WordPress the SPAM filters are working overtime keeping the weird stalking robots off of our public comments.

Below is an article about some of the weird comments and just general thoughts of a blogger I thought you’d find amusing.

I know it is off subject for this blog (no Vampires, books, poetry, etc), but, oh well.


Click here for the complete article: