Ask Juliette: “I don’t want to do it” Edition, plus Vampires and Religion

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular feature on vampiremaman.com.

If you have a question for Juliette, or something to discuss send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail .com, or post your question in the comment section below.

This week is sort of like the “I don’t want to do it” edition. I also answer a question about Vampires and religion.

Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

Hypothetically, you give me a book to read because you think it’ll be helpful to what I’m going through and also helpful for you. We both know I don’t want to read it but you insist that I do. You tell me I don’t have to but continue to vouch for the book. In the end, I say yes to appease you and a part of myself that wants to read.

I read the first chapter and take a break from it. It’s a bit of a long break. After my break, I realize, I really don’t want to continue reading it. Should I keep reading?

This is just a glimmer of the situation I’m in, the decision I have to make but it’s the best analogy I have come up with.

You read the first chapter. You didn’t want to read the rest of it. End of story. Period. Return the book. You don’t need to explain anything.

I love to share books, but that said, reading is such a personal thing. Book clubs are great, but I like to feel like I own the book that I’m reading. I want to savor it. I don’t want my reading experience to be forced.

What you’re describing sounds like a control issue. Someone doesn’t think you can manage your own life. Usually when this sort of thing happens, the book lender is someone who can’t control HER life. I bet it goes beyond the book and into other areas of your life.

Be it a job, an education path, a relationship, or a book, you have the right to refuse options given to you by others. If you don’t want to be a cook, and you hate being a cook, don’t be obligated to your brother Jeb if he gets you a job as a cook. Just like if your friend Ramona asks you to read “Twilight,” and you can’t stand the idea of sparkly Vampires who stalk high school girls then don’t read it.

A few months ago a relative of mine turned down a book I’d given her because the author uses too many F bombs in the dialog. I understand. No problem. I still read the books, but I’m not offended that my relative does not.

In turn if everyone in your family want to Cambridge University, it is ok if you study art in Florence. I want to study art in Florence too – let’s go.

Again: Don’t read the book unless you want to, especially if it is going to be a painful or uncomfortable experience. You aren’t obligated to give a reason. If this is someone who is constantly pressuring you, giving you advice, or you might even want to check the entire relationship back into the library.

Friends don’t always have to agree on everything. Everyone is different. We all find our peace, and solutions to life’s challenges in different ways. A book might work for your friend, but long evening walks might be your way to deal with those challenges.

People who care about you will walk that path of life by your side. But if they really care they’ll let you take your own side path, and then meet them later. You are the one who gets to decide the path of your journey. You’re also the one who gets to decide what you read.

Good luck on this. Hugs. Thanks for writing.

Unknown

Dear Juliette,

Every December 29 my friends give a New Year’s Eve party and invite my family. Dinner is at 6:00 and we just stand around until midnight. Every year I end up bored and spending most of the night avoiding a couple of my friend’s friends who openly disapprove of me and my lifestyle. Last year I was uncomfortable and bored out of my mind. Even other friends of mine who showed up fell asleep on the couch. I spent about an hour in a bathroom playing games on my phone and nobody noticed I was gone. My husband says we have to go because the hosts are good friends – and we usually have a blast with them. Do we have to go?

You have several options.

  1. Go for a few minutes but don’t stay.
  2. Go later just in time to yell Happy New Year and then go home.
  3. Kindly RSVP and say you have other plans.
  4. Go but drink more than usual and take an Uber home.
  5. Suggest a game of Beer Pong.
  6. Figure out why other events were a blast and try to do that again.
  7. Just ignore the bitches who act like bitches. They aren’t worth you’re time.

A word to hosts: When you have a party don’t just invite everyone you know. Invite people you know will get along and enjoy each other’s company. If there is nothing to do for hours, then plan activities like fun games (grown up will like), show some movies, or have a wine tasting session, or something interesting. Think about parties that worked and the reasons why those parties worked.

Good luck, and whatever you do, have a happy New Year’s Eve.

red-poppies-and-daisies-1890-1

Dear Juliette,

With Christmas coming up I was wondering if Vampires celebrate Christmas, and if they have a religion. Do Vampires worship Satan? Are they Pagans.

Ho Ho NO, we, Vampires, are not Satan Worshipers. There might be a few, but if you spend any time with demons you will want to do anything but worship that Devil Dude.

Most Vampires, who were not born that way, which is most Vampires, come into it with some religious background. It is not exclusive to one religion or the other. Most Vampires I know came in with a Judea Christian belief system.

Vampires can see, and communicate with, Ghosts, Demons, Banshees, and other beings unseen by the normal Human eye. Consequently being an Atheist quickly becomes a thing of the past. You might not see an all-seeing-eye but you pretty much see everything, and everyone else.

Over the centuries many Vampires have become part of the clergy. They have been Catholic priests, nuns, rabbis, clerics, preachers, and ministers of all sorts. Sometimes it works out, but usually it becomes a mask to hide what one really is.

We like churches and other places of worship, mainly because Vampires love music, and most have unusually beautiful singing voices. But every other aspect of a church is uncomfortable. The vibes are just off. It is hard to explain.

Within the Vampire cultures are old societies which have made their own traditions based upon ancient Judea Christian cultures, and holidays. In Asia, and Africa the Vampires tend to linger on the edge of those belief systems, or create their own forms of spirituality.

A lot of new Vampires (those who have recently become Vampires) tend to go through an existentialist period. They wonder if anything does matter at all, considering their world has just been knocked off of its rocker. Even if one has a realistic idea of what it is like to be a Vampire, until you’re there, you have no idea what you’re getting into. Even the most idealistic and romantic of Vampires has a harsh adjustment period – and that adjust period includes questioning one’s very existence, and the existence of one’s soul.

We all know that Vampires have two souls, contrary to popular belief. One soul belongs to the individual, and one of for the shadow. Unlike human souls, these can’t be bought, sold, or taken away, or otherwise forfeited. That pisses off the Demons and their boss to no end.

There ARE Vampires who have no souls. Those are the Vampires who are reanimated after their soul completely leaves their body and moves on. They have completely lost any traces of humanity, love, hope, sorrow, empathy, or sense of a past or a future. They are husks of beings who live to drink blood, like ticks in human form.

So what about Pagans? I don’t know any. I suppose if one wants to do that they can. Over the years there have been odd little pockets of Vampires who study old ways. Eleora (who is over 2,000 years old) said most people she knew who were what we today consider Pagans stopped the religion because they were tired of human sacrifices. Aside from that she said they tended to be hostile towards Vampires, Selkies, and other folks who were different.

Most of us believe that we are the ones who determine our own fate. There are forces in the world that we can’t control, but we can control how we navigate those forces.

Do we pray? Maybe. Who do we pray to? That my dear is a personal matter, not to be shouted out in public, just as our existence as Vampires is not to be shouted out in public.

I guess to answer an age old question, and mythology of crosses and Vampires shunning anything to do with holy water or whatever, has an answer. In fact my great great great great Grandmama Lola will tell you loud and clear – as she tells you about how her first husband Thomas was burned to death but people who claimed that we were Devils. It is dangerous for us to go into places where people see us as evil. Yes, bad things happen to good Vampires.

As for Christmas… of course we celebrate Christmas. I just put my lights out on my front porch tonight.

Peace be with you.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular feature on vampiremaman.com.

If you have a question for Juliette, or something to discuss send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail .com, or post your question in the comment section below.

Ask Juliette

 

He asked me, “Can you take my soul?”

He asked me, “Can you take my soul?”

I told him that I could take it but I could not keep it. I am not a keeper of souls. I only keep my own, which cannot be taken by anyone.

He often asks those questions when we are alone, in those quiet times that are ours.

Once he asked how his blood tasted. “Different for me than it would for you,” I told him.

He continued to ask me about souls and evil.

I could still taste his blood on my tongue. I kissed his neck one last time then sat down beside him and held his warm hand in my cold fingers.

“Humans are gladly forfeiting their souls everyday in exchange for true evil that will consume them like thick fire. They do it all the time without a second thought or remorse. They want to be led into the fires. They want the warmth. They want the ignorance to engulf them. They want to give up free will and the ability to think and reason on their own. Evil is easy because the evil ones carry no burden of guilt or the hardships of love or the fear of failure or the sorrow of hope.

It is not my place to take your soul.

I can change you into a creature of the shadows. I cannot make you evil, unless you choose to throw away your soul and die before your body is ready to leave this earth. My involvement in such matters is far to complex to explain this afternoon and I am tired of speaking of it. You don’t need to know because I will never turn you my dear, into a Vampire.

I can drink your blood. I can make you feel alive. I can kill you. I can bring you back from the dead… I can turn you into a Vampire. But, I will not be part of the evil that is part of human nature, real human nature.

Of course there are bad things in the shadows, very bad things, but nothing that compares to the humans we walk the earth with. Nothing compares.

Do not hate what you do not understand. Fight the hate with all you have and drive out the evil and ignorance with every bit of your precious soul.

Did I answer your question?”

He said yes and kissed my cheek and then brushed his lips against mine. There will be more questions next week. There will be more next year. There will always be questions.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

We agree to celebrate our life…

Last summer, when traveling on a short trip abroad with my friend Amelia, we found ourselves squeezed on public transportation, always a great place for people watching.

As we looked around (as we always do) my friend and I noticed that there were no tattoos. Since we live in the Western United States (California and Nevada) we see A LOT of ink. I live in walking distance of at least five tattoo parlours. And I’m not talking seedy holes in seedy strip malls. It is everywhere. My kids know how many teachers have tramp stamps or verses written on their wrists and other inked in decorations. We’re one of the few inkless families around.

Anyway, then we started to talk that everyone looked the same more or less. There was some diversity but not as much as we have at home.

And the point is that if you look at the US Olympic team we don’t all look the same. We don’t act the same. We don’t pray the same. We aren’t the same. Yet, WE ARE the same in our hearts and souls.

Our union isn’t make upon blood lines or DNA or family ties or tradition. It is something far more special than that. It is about the freedom to break ties. It is the freedom to be different, yet part of the club. It is like love in the fact that it is blind, but grows to be wise and nurturing.

It is the freedom to be a Vampire or a Werewolf even if it is just in spirit and for fun. Ghosts on the other hand….that is a different blog post.

And speaking of such things – nobody can have fun like we can…really, think about it. Think of all the goofy silly things we do just for fun.

We agree in that we will celebrate our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness together, and agree that we can disagree. For like I tell my kids, life would be boring if we all were the same.

Appreciate what we have and the life, love and work of those who have gone before us.

Teach your children to fly and make their own world, based on our values, morals and truth but let them own it. To me that is what makes us Americans.

For more on my patriotic views click on the links below:

~ Have a good Labor Day Weekend everyone!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Everyone needs to get along!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/31/daily-prompt-country/

REAL MEN don’t pressure women…

My friend Kelly (a regular human) and I saw a bumper sticker that read:

Real Men Don’t Pressure Women to Have Abortions

She said “I’m pro-choice but I want to put a note on that car and tell the owner that I agree with them 100%.”

When Kelly (who is now 50 with two lovely kids) was in her 20’s a lot of women she knew had terminated pregnancies.  It was never an easy choice but it was a choice. More often than not it was because the guy (the one with the sperm) was a jerk.  That was Kelly’s experience.

“I never want that choice to be taken away from any woman for any reason. That said when I turned 30 I had two boyfriends who told me “If you get pregnant you’re having an abortion.” It was such a mean thing to say. They  more or less said “I don’t value you. I don’t value a future with you. I won’t be there for you if anything goes wrong. I don’t value your needs. And worst of all it said I don’t love you.”  And it wasn’t like we were poor kids. We were successful young professionals with good jobs and good credit ratings. What they said really hurt. When I met Derrick he wanted kids. He wanted MY kids. One of the old boyfriends  wanted me to get back together with him but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to marry Peter Pan. I needed a real man.”

I’m pro-choice but that choice is a choice of having a baby or not. It is deeply personal and no woman makes those choices lightly.

Girls – you’re responsible for your children. Before you get pregnant or even think about getting pregnant, think about who the father will be.

Ask yourself the following:

  1. Will he be there for you if you accidentally get pregnant?
  2. Will he respect your choice (to continue the pregnancy or not)?
  3. Will he be there for your child?
  4. Is he really an adult man or just a large boy?
  5. Will he love you and your child forever?
  6. Will he support the child financially?
  7. Does he respect you?
  8. If something happened to you would you want him to raise your child?
  9. Do YOU want this baby?
  10. Will this child be my FIRST priority (ahead of ANY man or needs or urges) for the next 18 years.

If the answer to any of those questions is NO then think again about your relationship and double up on birth control – or better yet, don’t have sex with him at all.

With Vampires it is a little different in how we pick our mates and who we have children with.  But so many regular humans take it so lightly and never think twice about having sex without birth control or a thought in their heads about having a child. Most people put more thought into what breed of dog they’ll get than having a baby.

Parents of ALL KINDS: Talk to your teens about BIRTH CONTROL and PREGNANCY, RELATIONSHIPS and SEX. Don’t judge your kids – just talk to them openly and honestly. Be the kind of parent you want your teens to grow up and be.

  • But the thought of the day is that REAL MEN Don’t Pressure Women Into Doing ANYTHING They Don’t Want To Do. Not Sex. Not Abortions. Not Diets. Not Plastic Surgery. Not ANYTHING that woman doesn’t want to do. Period

 

  • And that goes for girls too – Real Women don’t pressure MEN into doing anything they don’t want to do. Period. And honey, you aren’t going to keep any man by accidentally-on-purpose-getting-pregnant. It will just cause a lot of resentment and pain for everyone in the future and it will be SO UNFAIR for that poor child! So DON’T DO IT !
  • And remember “Friends don’t let friends date jerks”.

Also, any comments made with a lot of knee jerk hostility or whatever will be removed. Just bite your tongue and keep it to yourself or write our own blog.