Begging and Other Undesirable Actions

I have 72 thousand contact updates on Linkedin and other messages in my email inbox tonight. I don’t even know why I have a Linkedin account. More useless junk to throw at me, and then attempt get information off of me like a Kentucky strip mine.

Since before the election (you know which one) I’ve been bombarded with emails from all sorts of interesting groups. They all ask for my opinion THEN they ask for my MONEY. It is a constant pleading and begging for money that is so distasteful that I feel like turning against it all.

I’m unusually annoyed at our new Senator for sending out polls and asking an opinion, but I really feel like all she wants is my money. Nobody wants to listen, but everybody wants to get paid.

As a parent sometimes I don’t know what to say. One does not want to say we live in a society where our elected government never listens, but hey, we all know they don’t listen.

Who the young folks DO listen to are teachers. Yes, they DO listen to teachers. We’ve been discussing the two-party system and our two ineffective parties. We’ve been discussing all the assholery and shit-for-brains behavior on both sides. We’ve watched how that in spite of our government (both state and federal) that we will survive…or at least most of us.

In darkened corners, and in the light, we must teach our kids to fight ignorance. We must teach them not to be followers but to be free thinking citizens. We must teach them to question everything. We must teach them to follow the rule of law, but if that law is unjust they must use the system to change it. We have to start at an early age too. It is never too young to teach your child to question, and research, and form opinions.

One thing that makes our country, The United States of America, unique is that we’ve always questioned our parents, our elders, our government, and forged ahead. There are those who would take us back to the good-old-days of discrimination and sexism and inequality. Fuck them. Seriously, they can fuck themselves, but then again they’re already fucked because of the backlash that is guaranteed to come in good time.

Vampires don’t live in the dark because light burns their skin. They lived in the dark because it is the best place to find easy prey. Teach your children not to become prey. Teach yourself not to become prey.

And no matter what kind of relationship you’re in, be if political, romantic, or anything else – don’t beg. It is so unflattering and will leave you high, and dry, and alone.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Better Than Yourself

It is difficult, as a mother, for me to teach my children to despise those who embrace ignorance, hate, and the cult of narcissism, when most of our elected leaders, including the highest office, gladly embody all of those principles.

They tell me, “Mom, it will be alright. We’ll be fine. Look where we live. We aren’t like them. We never will be.”

As a parent I have embraced so much of our culture, much of which my children have brought into my world. Music, art, literature, and new ways of thinking. I’ve seen my children embrace diversity in ways nobody could have imagined when I was a child. I’ve seen my children go out into the world with open minds, and skeptical caution that keeps their eyes open.

While I seethe with anger, my children look for solutions. They look forward and beyond my fears and frustrations.

Raise your child to be better than yourself. Raise your child to be braver, smarter, and kinder than yourself. Raise your child to embrace the challenge. Forget your own personal failures and embrace the possibilities that your child sees. Remember that anything IS possible.

We teach our children, and in turn they will teach us.

It will be good.

It is good.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

What we talked about on the way to school this morning

The ride to school with my teenager always brings up school, current events, and everything else.

“We’re starting existentialism today. I don’t know what we’ll be reading. But the teacher already called out kids before they made complaints that it was against their religion.”

Some devoutly religious kids and their parents have complained in the past about these books and the ideas they write about. That bugs me is that ANY parent would want their child NOT to be exposed to other ideas, including religion, philosophy, and well, anything. Ignorance is not an option folks. It will not help your children. It will not make them better people. On the contrary, ignorance and extreme sheltering will make your child into the WORST kind of person – that is an ignorant closed minded person.

I asked my child what they were reading and she didn’t know. The class just finished 1984 and Brave New World, so now that they’re all throughly disturbed and depressed I imagine story stories or a play might be in order.

Who could it be? Kafka? Camus? Sartre? Beckett?

AP English Literature. No Exit. Bahahahaha. But seriously folks, I’m glad the students are being exposed to so many different ideas.

College applications are due today for University of California. Of course someone (my kid, my kid) waited until the very last day. She’ll be applying for two schools. We’ll see what happens.

We talked about the Supreme Court and what scary things might happen, which seems appropriate considering the discussion on existentialism. And no, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not 93 years old. She is 83 years old (or something like that.) We also talked about Clarence Thomas who is an odd waste of space. The guy does nothing. Says nothing. Votes on nothing. He is just weird. This isn’t political. Everybody else in those black robes works hard. This guy just takes up space.

Clara asked about Anita Hill. I told her that almost every woman I know has been sexually harassed, or bullied by males. Most of us, like Anita Hill, just go on with their lives, because we can’t do much about it. It isn’t like she just brushed it off, but (I speak from experience) if one makes a big deal about it there are consequences – unfortunately even now. But, that said, we need to keep speaking up and speaking out, and making sure there is equality for ALL – women, men, children, everyone.

Luckily in the Vampire world that isn’t an issue, at least when it comes to other Vampires. Sure some guys are jerks but they know what is right and wrong. Seriously, it would be a better world if we had a voice as who we are, but like other groups of the past we can’t speak up. That is one of the hardest lessons for us to teach our Vampire children.

We talked about the rain. We discussed our schedules. And we just talked, like all parents and their kids should do. Seriously, sometimes the talks serve no purpose, but you have to talk with your kids, not just when they’re young. Share ideas. They might not be your ideas, but that is why you have these discussions, and find out what makes your kids tick, and what is important to them.

It was a quick ride and there wasn’t much traffic today. Tonight I’ll find out what the next book or story is. I’ll find out if anything else interesting is going on at school. I’ll find out if weirdness abounds, or if all is well, at least in our little corner of the world.

Then she said, “Uncle Max said all of your boyfriends before dad were douches.” OK, I’ll have to have a talk with my brother, or just let it go. I had to laugh.

 

Hope your day is full of interesting thoughts, discussions, and loads of laughs. Just remember to keep your mind open and your temper in check.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

vampire teens

Even Vampires Get The Blues: Musings on a hot summer day

Even Vampires get the blues, or just the stupids, or maybe even those out of sorts times when everything is just yuck.

I’ve was on the road for over a week. There were magnificent highs and low level lows. When we arrived home I was feeling out of sorts and blah. Then it all ended with a near death experience.

But today I am fine and said to myself, “YOU ARE THE MOM.”

I have teens but I’m still the MOM.

Not only am I the mom but I’m the wife, the one who checks in on the elders, the one who carries knowledge of all things, the one who makes everyone laugh, and the one who listens. I also change the litter box and feed the animals and water the plants.

You know, if you choose to live in a crypt, away from the world, away from everyone, life is fairly easy. You sleep. You get up at night and get blood from unsuspecting people. Occasionally you meet with your friends who also live in crypts or old houses. You don’t care about anything. You don’t love anyone or anything.

I’m not that kind of Vampire. Neither are the Vampires in my life. We’re not a bunch of friggin Shadow Creepers.

Oh, and speaking of Shadow Creepers, my kids have been talking a lot about politics. presidential politics.

The male child can vote (18) and the female child can’t (160) but is still is involved.

In their opinion a zillion people are running for president but they ALL SUCK.

The teens don’t like Hillary. They can’t relate to her. She says nothing. They think she should have dumped Bill and had a huge bonfire on the White House Lawn when Bill was doing saying “I didn’t have sexual relations with that woman,” or whatever. I tend to agree. Smart kids.

When Vampire cheat it hits the fan big time. But that is another blog post…

Garrett (the 19 year old) and I will not be voting for anyone who puts the issues of sex or religion on the roster. People who are obsessed by sex and religion, or the sexual habits and religious beliefs of others. It is sick. SICK. Unfortunately the majority of people running and people who support them are SICK.

Then they discussed foreign policy, social welfare…and oh boy, it all just hit the fan. I won’t go into details but the sixteen year old said:

White trash is the worst kind of trash because they have no excuse. They are white and in the USA. They are the most privileged people in the world. There is no excuse. 

And don’t we all know that. We’ve got Vampire trash (in limited supply) and don’t even get me started on Werewolves.  And mind you, trash has nothing to do with income or ethnic background. It is attitude. It is when a person or group of people choose to embrace ignorance and make it their way of life and the core of their universe. Suspicion, envy, and distrust rule their worlds along with iron clad clannish behaviors that can only be destructive.

So that concludes the political/social portion of this blog post.

I talk with my kids a lot.  I also am proud that they research the issues on their own and then report back to me on a lot of it. Their dad and I might now always agree but hey, that is OK. Your kids aren’t your clones. Even if they were clones they wouldn’t be YOU.

So tomorrow is a new night. I’m not digging the heat but I can deal with it. I have my family, friends and my creativity. I also have to clean out a fish tank, which is no small task. I have a novel to finish and …

Whoa, I just glanced outside and saw Nigel the Ghost sitting on a deck chair in the middle of the dead grass. I haven’t seen him for ages. He just flipped me off. I showed him my fangs and mouthed the words “fuck you.” Awww man, it is good to have him back. I’ll keep you posted.

We all need to ramble and have days to reflect and be random. We all need downtime.  We all need to spout off. We all need those late nights when we’re all alone. We still need others. There is no one absolute for anything.

So anyway, take care of yourself. Hug your kids. Kiss your cats. Remember your friends. And watch out for ghosts. I mean it… watch out for ghosts.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

A brief message about parenting failures, the Duggars, ignorance, and environmental issues from a Vampire Maman.

The biggest environmental threat to our planet is human over population. Period.

A few months ago I told my family that something in the Duggar family was going to come crashing down. I said there would be a tell all book written by one of the children. Someone would come out of the closet. Someone would crack.

This week TLC announced they were taking the show off of the air because the eldest son had mollested several girls when he was a teenager. No surprise there.

As a parenting blogger I always advocate spending time with your kids. I advocate listening to your children. I advocate letting them find their own interests, grow and fly.

The Duggar children don’t have that option. They are part of a factory, run by their parents, to produce and exploit their own children. The mother is obsessed on getting a higher and higher number of offspring. She doesn’t care that her children might not share all of their dreams with her. Her daughters are not allowed to dream. They too are destined to obey their parents and become baby factories. The sons are also told that they will have wives and hordes of kids. It is all about quantity not quality.

In any society, be it a family, a village or a country, where knowledge, ideas, free thoughts, and the equality of the sexes are not valued there will be a breakdown. Where there is no equality there will be anger, frustration, ignorance, violence and life will be a mindless existence.

In the culture of the Duggars, children must obey and be happy at all times. I’d rather my children love and trust me than obey me. I’d rather had children mind me and do what is right rather than obey. To me the word obey makes me think of violence – as in a man striking his wife or abusing a child because they do not obey.

When a group like the Duggars and their society is obsessed with sex and the dominance of males and the absolute chastity and innocence/ignorance of women when it comes to sex, bad things happen. Very bad things happen.

When people can’t freely choose who they love bad things happen.

When people can’t explore the world around them and see different points of view bad things happen.

Another show will start soon on TV about nauseously sweet people with a dozen musically talented kids. You might have seen them on America’s Got Talent last summer. It makes me sick just thinking of them. There is another family obsessed with fame due to their high fertility rate.

All families are different. Some are small and some are large. If you can pull off a large emotionally healthy and creative family then I’m behind you. If it is all about your needs to get that magic number then I’m against it. If having a large family is more about “family” than it is about your individual children then I am against it.

No good can come of reality TV shows featuring families. I wonder about creatures such as poor messed up Honey Boo Boo, and Kate with her eight exploited children. Will you be happy Kate when one of your kids writes that tell-all book? Will you care as long as there is a lot of money in the bank?

And for Mr. and Mrs. Duggar. I hope you are ashamed of yourselves, but then again people like you have no shame. You have no moral code except your own self-centered need to have attention and absolute control over your brood of fucked up children.

Shame on you.

If you’re new to this blog please see my page on what I believe and practice as a parent.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Stupid stuff my kid heard … and the Day of Silence

Imagine a class full of high school geometry students taking a make-up test. Outside in the courtyard they can hear a kid yelling.

“Dennis. Hey Dennis. Dennis. Dennis. Hey Dennis. Dennis.”

“What the Hell do you want?”

“You’re a fag.”

The silence of the test was broken but kids trying not to laugh.

Pretty random. They’re best friends. That is just the way high school (and older) guys talk to each other. Forget scolding me about being politically correct. They shouldn’t say fag but they do. These are the same kids who did the LBGT day of silence in support of their friends. Yes, this is real life so there are a lot of mixed signals, missed messages and all kinds of things going on.

Random yelling can always be heard echoing through the high school halls during class:

I’m not retarded.

I love you.

You’re Effing stupid.

And more common that you think.

“I’ll show you my truck.”

“Did you get your license?”

“No. I’m only fifteen.”

 

 

Also heard in sophomore English.

Student: Is Africa a country or a continent?

Teacher: A continent.

Student: Africa is so violent that I thought it was just one big country.

Teacher: That has nothing to do with it being a country or a continent. Africa has many countries.

Student: But everyone there looks the same.

Teacher: Don’t say things like that. It’s racist. Besides, everyone who is white probably looks the same to them.

What the girl didn’t know was that there is a white kid in the class who is from South Africa and a black kid who has parents from Nigeria sitting two seats down.

Then in World History Emily (we’ve talked about her before) said: I don’t use Yahoo because it is run by Jews. I only use Google.

Another girl: Excuse me? What are you talking about.

Emily: You know Neten-Yahoo the guy who runs Israel. That’s why they call it Yahoo.

At that point everyone was yelling at Emily to shut up.

And yes, all of these kids were required to take Geography last year. No, I’m not making any of this up.

But back to the Day of Silence

A true Ally actively combats anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.

My daughter told me that today is The Day of Silence. The kids learned about it in school. She is an Ally.

From http://glsen.org

Visible Allies are priceless for LGBT students, especially if they’re dealing with anti-LGBT issues at school. Allies can sometimes stand up and support change in ways that LGBT-identified students can’t.

Being an Ally is about standing shoulder to shoulder with LGBT students against anti-LGBT language, bullying and harassment in our schools.

ThinkB4YouSpeak

THinkB4YouSpeakLGBT teens hear anti-LGBT remarks throughout the school day, creating an atmosphere where they feel disrespected, unwanted and unsafe.

Anti-LGBT remarks such as “that’s so gay” are often unintentional and a common part of teens’ vernacular. Most do not recognize the consequences, but the casual use of this language often carries over into more overt harassment.

This campaign aims to raise awareness about the prevalence and consequences of anti-LGBT bias and behavior in America’s schools. Ultimately, the goal is to reduce and prevent the use of anti-LGBT language in an effort to create a more positive environment for LGBT teens. The campaign also aims to reach adults, including school personnel and parents; their support of this message is crucial to the success of efforts to change behavior.

Talk to your kids about it. If they’re straight I bet they have gay friends. If they’re gay support them and their gay and straight friends. They all have both. It just doesn’t matter anymore – it shouldn’t matter.

Day of Silence (April 17, 2015)

Silence can create change!

That’s why every year hundreds of thousands of students across the world take a vow of silence on a Friday in April. This quiet but powerful, student-led action raises awareness about the silencing effect of anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and discrimination.

Anyone can organize a Day of Silence activity or event, and it can be a powerful way to band together and take a stand. Learn more about how to register, organize, what your rights are, and what to do if those rights aren’t being respected.

Strength in numbers. Solidarity in silence.

____________________

If you have kids in your life (or someone who acts like a kid) talk to them about stuff. You know, just stuff. Talk and keep the dialogue going about everything. Not just hot button issues but everything. Encourage them to be curious and to see the big picture. Talk to them about not just blurting out anything that comes into their head. And yes, sometimes there are stupid questions.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman