A word from the Vampire Maman on being polite. Don’t be a Troll.

Nobody likes Trolls.

A message, from the parenting blogger – something you might not have learned from your parents.

If you don’t have anything nice to say then just shut the F up.  Just don’t say it – especially if it is to a friend (or someone you want to be your friend.)

You’ve been going to too many hack writing groups where people just trash each other to feel power. That isn’t popular anymore. It is also counter productive for all parties involved. Just cut it out.

Before you comment and say something negative take a deep breath, count to 30,000, come back the next day and say to yourself “Do I really want to say that?” At that point, if you still have something to say you can say it in a reasonable manner or say it in private to the party you don’t agree with rather than putting it out in public for all to see.

You can really hurt your poet, writer, artist, lover, human and all other kinds of friends if you don’t STOP and THINK.

Yes, we all write funny, rude, snarky and nasty stuff but this isn’t what this post is about. So don’t worry to my author friends – I  respect you and your right to say anything you want. But rest assured if I don’t agree with you or think your post is boring I’m not going to tell you. I’m just going to move on and hope I like the next post better.

I’m not saying don’t write or say what you want. I’m all for freedom of speech. If I think you are crude or don’t like your taste in music or books or politics or whatever I’m going to move on – I would never comment on it on YOUR blog or other social media page. If I do then you need to call me out on it (so I won’t do it again.)

Teach this to the kids and the adults in your life.

Why am I posting this? Because in all forms of social media it is easy to barf all over something without thinking that your stink will stay after you left. It is so easy to hurt someone. We drill our teens on this – and we need to keep drilling them on it. But we also need to drill the adults in our lives. I know a lot of authors – seasoned and starting out – and I want them ALL to do well. I want all of us who write and who read to support our community. And when I talk to both the kids and adults in my life they say this is a problem. Nobody likes rudeness. If you don’t agree with someone just walk away – especially if it is a friend.

Don’t go looking for stuff on this blog – you won’t find it. Nobody made a nasty troll like comment here. Thank goodness. I love you all. Thank you for your support. I’ve just seen rude behavior in other places and I don’t like it. I don’t like to see someone go out of their way to post a story or a thought and have someone make a senseless rude remark about it. That is it. Just the mom in me coming out.

This isn’t about “reviews” it is about manners. Of course a lot of the rude people won’t even read this or if they do they won’t understand it.

Don’t be a troll. Just DON’T do it.

Click here for more on rudeness from Vampire Maman.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

be nice

Things to never say to a Vampire (for those who lack filters of common courtesy and polite society.)

Things to never say to a Vampire (for those who lack filters of common courtesy and polite society.)

  • You’re going to hell.
  • Can you turn ME into a Vampire?
  • I’ve always wanted to be a Vampire.
  • Where is your cape?
  • Are you, like, dead?
  • You should consider being a vegan.
  • If I have sex with you will you bite my neck?
  • Are your teeth real?
  • You’re sort of pale.
  • Don’t eat my soul. OK?
  • What’s up with the flip flops? You’re supposed to be a Vampire.
  • I shoot you with a silver bullet will you die?
  • So, tell me about this blood lust thing?
  • Turn into a bat. I’ve always wanted to see someone do that.
  • Do you, like, sparkle?
  • Do you ever have to go to the bathroom? Just asking, because in movies, you know, like, Vampires never go to the bathroom.
  • Do you eat dead people or is that just Zombies?
  • Do your kids go to special Vampire school?
  • If you had to fight a Werewolf would you win?
  • Why aren’t you wearing black?
  • Your Werewolf friend is hot. Introduce us!
  • You don’t look like a Vampire to me.

And no, I don’t look like a Vampire. That is why I’ve been around so long.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Everyone needs to get along!

There is no excuse for rudeness (even to a Vampire or Werewolf)

When a child under the age of 6 or 7 asks a rude question we can brush it off as the innocence of youth. But, when an adult asks rude questions or says rude remarks it just makes them look stupid, insensitive and just plain mean. Not to mention it makes them seem like bad parents.

Their mouths open and rude things just spew out like so much sewage. They have no idea of how them might hurt someone, and how badly it makes them look. On some levels being rude is just another way of being a bully.

I’ve been having this discussion with friends on and off about rude things people ask or say so I’ve made some lists of “What Not to Say ANYTIME”. And don’t be shocked. These are real things we’ve heard people say.

Note: For example purposes all references to a child will be LuLu or Rand. And of course I know none of my regular readers would say rude things like the examples I give below. It is just a list (I like lists. Like to make them. Like to read them.)

Things never to say to people with children:

  • Why do you only have one child? Variations include: You need to have more sex. Only one child? It’s selfish to only have one child.
  • Why don’t you have more kids? Answer: None of your f__ing business.
  • Won’t little Rand get lonely if he doesn’t have any brothers or sisters? Why no, he has a lot of friends.
  • Only children are selfish children. Not true. Go away.
  • Why do you have so many children? Answer: Go away.
  • Which is your favorite? They’re children not flavors. Go away.
  • What is wrong with LuLu? Variations: Do you get money from the state for her? Shouldn’t she be in a facility for kids like her. Yes, people who say things like that SHOULD be shot or at least slapped silly but that is illegal so just tell them “I love my child and I don’t wish to discuss her with you.”
  • Isn’t that ________________ (sport, activity, camp, club, school) expensive? I could never afford THAT. Answer: Just walk away.
  • I’d never let MY child _______________ fill in the blank. Good for you. Now go away.

Things never to say to people who don’t have kids:

  • Why don’t you have kids?
  • Can’t you have children?
  • Why don’t you want kids”
  • Isn’t that selfish?
  • Who will take care of you when you get old?
  • Well I guess if I didn’t have kids I’d be taking vacations to Europe too.
  • All of the above are rude things to say.

Things never to say to your single friends, especially those over 40.

  • Why didn’t you ever get married? Answer: None of your f____ing business.
  • I have someone I want you to meet. He but he hates cats. This is to the friend with 3 cats. The friend who has always had cats. The friend who WILL always have cats.
  • Life isn’t complete without a mate.  Really? That is both rude and wrong on so many levels.
  • I wish you’d find someone. Answer: Well so do I, so why are you rubbing it in?
  • Are you gay? Honest to God I can’t tell you how many single people I know who have been asked this question. There is nothing wrong with being gay or single. There are gay single people. Gay married people. Gay dating people. Get over it.

Things Never to say to Cat Owners:

  • I hate cats. OK this is the story. The cat is sitting in the front yard watching bugs. Then the cat goes inside and eats, Then rubs up against my leg. What is there to hate? And why do you feel compelled to say you hate MY CAT? I’m not asking you to take it home with you. Go away. You can also exchange cat with dog, horse, rabbit, parrot, fish, husband – some people are just RUDE.

Things never to say to someone on a romantic date:

  • My sister is coming with us. This usually translates to “my sister who is nuts and talks non-stop and is so weird that if you look up weird in the dictionary her photo will be there.
  • Have you ever thought of doing something about your thinning hair? Who told you this is a sure fire way to get a guy into the mood? There is nothing wrong with thinning hair on men. It is natural. It happens. Get over it.
  • You’d be perfect if you lost about 10 pounds. And you’re sleeping alone tonight Mr. Romance!
  • Anything about your ex. That includes ex wives, ex girlfriends, ex husbands, ex boyfriends, ex lovers of any kind. Don’t talk about how badly your kids are doing either. That is also a sure fire turn off.  And don’t use the excuse of being “honest”. That doesn’t fly.  It is RUDE to  do an emotional dump on someone who wanted to spend the evening with YOU and NOT everyone who has ever done you wrong.

Things Never to Say to a WORKING MOM:

  • I stay home with my kids because they need me.
  • I get to volunteer at the school 3 days a week so I’ll know what my child is doing.
  • Before you know it they’ll be grown and you’ll have missed out on everything.
  • I always go to my 10:00 work-out class when the kids are at school.
  • All of the above is just rude. Period.

Things Never to say to a Stay-At-Home Mom

  • Why don’t you have a job?
  • Don’t you get bored?
  • Don’t you wish you had your own money?
  • You don’t work so why don’t you have time to go to the gym?
  • You’ve wasted your college education.
  • All of the above is just rude. Period.

Things Never to say to a child that isn’t yours?

  • How much money does your dad make?
  • Who did your parents vote for?
  • What are your grades?
  • Do your parents spend a lot of money on ____________________?
  • It seems like there are a lot of people who try to find out financial information about people they know through the children.  And tell your kids not to answer any questions about money or other private family matters.

Things never to say to a Vampire:

  • Why aren’t you wearing black?
  • Show me your fangs?
  • Do you sleep in a coffin?
  • Aren’t you worried about eternal damnation?

Things to never say to a Werewolf?

  • Do you eat people?
  • Do you have fleas?
  • When you take a bath do you smell like a wet dog?
  • I’m allergic to dogs.

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