Kat was lovely in that fresh healthy sort of way that can be obtained with a personal trainer, good hair stylist and tanning booth. Her pale highlighted hair was just right. The perfectly applied minimal makeup was perfect even in the heat. She had that friendly gentle demeanor that made you just want to hug her. The glowing wife and mom and successful businesswoman with a tad too much skin showing for her age.
She’d also made 34 Vampire Slasher movies in the 1980’s. Not much of a story line in any of them but a lot of gore and T&A. And oh yes, she wasn’t the swooning silly girl. She was the Vampire Sex Princess.
Sure it bordered on soft-core porn (actually there were 5 hard core porn films too) but the pay was great and she was smart with her money.
By the way, like 99% of my regular human clients she had no idea I’m a Vampire. So this was a little weird taking on the Vampire Sex Princess as a client.
And why am I telling you about this? It was business. From time to time (not as much as I used to) I’m asked to makeover the image of someone (usually semi famous). It has been anyone from politicians to people in the film industry to CEO’s of high tech companies and so on. It is all discreet and seamless. I’m a pro and of course they don’t know they’re dealing with a Vampire.
We met for lunch at a trendy but private place with a view of a lovely garden and good service. I ate little (as usual) and we shared a bottle of red wine.
So now my client was a wife and mom (oh right, which makes her now a saint) and wanting a new image.
Kat (short for Kathleen) looked at me with one of those you’re-not-going-to-believe-this-looks and said, “I was called Vampire Mom. Ouch. Someone suggested I do a Vampire Mom blog but that would be so tacky and my kids would lose all respect for me.”
“Someone else is already doing the Vampire Mom blog thing.” I smiled, not showing my fangs. Of course someone else is doing the Vampire Mom blog thing and if she tried to replicate it her blog would only be a weak lifeless shadow. It would fail. It would die within a month. “I agree, you need to see the Vampire roles as that, fictional roles. You’ve moved on.”
She gave me a blinding white smile. “Exactly. I had so much fun and made some of the best friends I’ve ever had. It was a blast. But I don’t identify with being a Vampire.”
“The key is to make it clear that playing a Vampire was a role you played, not who you really were or who you are now.”
“If Weiner can try to make a come back I don’t know why I shouldn’t be able to.”
OK I thought, that was an interesting and not so flattering comparison. All those guys. What was it with them cheating and telling lies than expecting us to forgive them? And their wives. I’d have such a bonfire in my driveway if Teddy pulled anything like that. On the other hand I’m a Vampire so I shouldn’t really care – but I do. Just like I care if my dog and children behave (and they DO always behave – all three of them.)
Kat continued to talk. “I took my clothes off on camera. But I was being paid as a professional. That is why it is called acting.”
“I agree.” I smiled again.
“If I took my clothes off today I’d still look that good.”
I said nothing.
“So you don’t judge me?” She asked me this as if she was surprised I had not reacted to her comment about taking off her clothes.
“Of course not.” I smiled. I positively glowed with reassurance as only a seasoned Vampire can do.
It would be other thing that I could judge her on, but that wasn’t my place and she was giving off a lot of good vibes and sort of a nervous anxious energy. I was getting bored by it all, but in my head thinking up a plan and a strategy so she could get her new life and career going. She’d be a success. She just needed a little common sense and someone to help her with that jump-start.
True confession time. Like all Vampires (and writers) I’m a natural born liar. Sure I judged her. Not for making tacky movies. That was an honest living. I judged her for making excuses for what she had done and NOW wanting to be held up as the moral and perfect female role model. I judged her like I judge the child molester who says “I’m a good person now because I found God.”
I don’t know what it was about her that bugged me so much. I’m pretty open minded, impartial and fair. Maybe it was the fact that she was so freaking shallow.
Note to self: Have THE TALK to the kids on being SHALLOW.
She talked for another hour while I took notes. Kat wanted a new image and I can understand that completely. We all go through changes – that is part of life. The average person changes several many times before they retire. The average person changes lifestyles many times.
We discussed the options. She had a list:
- Parenting expert (questionable)
- Fashion for moms of a certain age (good choice)
- Fitness (good choice)
- Cooking with a fresh attitude (good choice)
- Vampires (bad choice)
She was naturally fun, likeable (despite being so shallow) and good in front of a camera. I’d do wonders for her. Under my expert hands she’d be a bright warm shining star!
After I was done with Kat (the interview, just an interview and notes), I walked down the street and for a fleeting moment thought about how my kids have told me that they think I’m funny and they’re proud of me. I’ve done a lot of weird things too but that is my story and secrets and not a public dialogue.
Then I pondered a bit, but not too much about how Vampires have learned to keep the secrets of who they are.
We all have secrets. But secrets aren’t that bad of a thing.
- A secret crush
- A secret joke
- A secret song
- A secret thought
- A secret kiss
- A secret that could hurt someone if told
- A secret judgment
- A secret that is just what it is – a secret.
Most of us live in several different worlds – work, school, parent, employee, friend, daughter, sister, lover, wife, artist, writer…
We had different past lives as well.
And then there is that world, that secret place where you are truly who you are, alone, with nobody else but you.
In the world of the typical busy mom that place, alone and secret, is a sanctuary at times. It is that lovely alone time in the car, but then it is such an easy transition to that wonderful time when you pick your kids up from school and they talk to you about what they learned, what their friends are up to, what they discussed with their teachers, what silly thing happened in the lunchroom. The list goes on and then you realize that this is where you should be – a perfect world that is with a definition of perfection being love without having to think.
Last time I took one of the cats into the Vet she told me “Cats have rich and wonderful lives outside our ours.” Knowing my cats I can only imagine. I don’t trust my dog either. But they’re keeping those lives secret from me. One day my cat came strolling down the street singing along without a care in the world. My neighbor (3 houses down) said, “Is that your cat? He comes over and has conversations with me almost every day.” The other cat has a different circle of friends who populate her secret life.
You have a past that belongs to you alone. And even though it is in the past you are still accountable. You might not be proud of it. You might have made mistakes. Nonetheless it is yours and your responsibility. The best you can do is own up to it. The worst you can do is not to learn by your past or your past mistakes.
And the only way we can grow and be the Vampires (and people) we want to be is to LEARN from our mistakes and always go forward. We can only get better. I mean, sure we can get worse, but the goal is to always move forward.
In the meantime, I just got a message from Kat. She has more ideas. Oh joy.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman (who is feeling rather random and disjointed of late…)