Burning Question #10: Humorous Byproducts

THIS-IS-WHY-I-DON39T-TALK-TO-PERSON-WITHOUT-SENSE-OF-HUMOR-meme-6724

This week I want you to make sure your thinking caps are secure. It is time for Burning Question #10.

We’re going to be conscious about the seriousness of this question today. We’re also going to try to stay awake, which is another type of consciousness. We’re going to try to keep our humor about ourselves. And we’re going to all get along or something weird with Vampires might happen and you don’t want THAT.

gothhippie

Excuse me, um yes, we’re going to be philosophical today. On a personal note, true story, I used to date a guy who knew everything about Kant. On a parenting note tell your kids not to date philosophy majors. But I Kant* talk about that now…

280e9132ebf87b1c3232a8a577ecb518

Burning Question #10: Is a sense of humor a byproduct of consciousness or something else entirely?

 

 

23sme

And then there are cats but they aren’t part of this question. That is another question entirely. Dogs are included in that as well. But are cats and dogs even conscious of their own existence? Do they have a sense of humor? The answer is YES and YES on both, at least for cats. OK for dogs too. Cats are just such assholes that they don’t give a shit what anybody thinks but they’ll eat your byproducts (so will dogs.)

133ee2879acec1282395c5d4cecc7c6a

This has been the 10th of 50 Burning Questions. Only 40 more Burning Questions to go. See you next Saturday for #11.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

*Kant didn’t say any of this and is no doubt now rolling over in his grave right now, or he might be laughing. You never know. His name just makes for a great pun. 

 

 

Burning Question #8: A Mysterious Object

Today’s Burning Question is quite a mystery. This object was found by some mysterious Vampires… just kidding it was found by a not so mysterious Vampire, my husband Teddy.

But what is this thing?

Is it an arrowhead or a Christmas Tree? Seriously? What is this thing?

This is a serious question. This is a BURNING QUESTION.

Look at the photos. Is it a tool or a tree?

VMChip

A mysterious object. What could it be?

VMTools

Is it a tool? An ancient arrowhead perhaps?

VMTree

Is it a beautiful golden Christmas Tree?

This is the 8th of 50 Burning Questions I’ll be asking you every Saturday until I ask 50 Burning Questions, or run out of things I want to know.

Answer the Poll. A lot of people get to this page and don’t answer a simple question. Your information will not be sold to mysterious political pollsters, or Soviet Style Russians, or to a mysterious coven of weird Vampires.

BURNING QUESTION #8: Is this an Arrowhead or a Christmas Tree?

 

Thank you for answering another Burning Question. Stop by next week for Burning Question #9. And remember if YOU have a burning question let me know. I might feature it one of these weeks right here on Vampiremaman.com

Now everybody get out of your seats and DANCE!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

Burning Question #6: Fish Tails

s-l300

It is Saturday which means it is time for you to answer a BURNING QUESTION. It is TIME for ANSWERS.

Today’s rather fishy question is #6 of 50 Burning Questions to be featured RIGHT HERE on Vampiremaman.com. Keep checking back every single Saturday until we reach FIFTY.

54b7f80356bd588deefdd57c49fc552f

Do the POLL. Yes, you MUST answer the question. It is fast, easy, guilt free, and your information will not be sold unless I can get a lot of money for it.

And now for something to leave a bad taste in your mouth…

Mermaids live in the ocean. The upper half is human and the bottom half is fish. If you’re going to be biologically correct the bottom half would be, theoretically, more like a dolphin or whale tail, or maybe even a seal, because mermaids evolved from mammal humans (duh.) But you never know, it might have scales and be like a fish.

Humans have long been fascinated with mermaids. They have been pictured as seductive dames of the sea, and as nasty horrible creatures who’d rather bite and pull you under the sea than have a civil conversation with you. This includes both mermaids and merguys. They’re kind of like us, but they’re not really human. Or maybe they’re half human. Or maybe their DNA is 99.99% human. Or maybe their DNA is 99% salmon. Not really, but you never know. They could have evolved from Neanderthals for all we know, and as we all know everyone with blue/hazel/green/non-brown eyes has a little bit of Neanderthal in them. THAT is a scientific fact.

Or, and you never know, mermaids might be vampires who were driven into the sea by hordes of haters who just didn’t want to sit down and talk it out. For heaven sakes why can’t we all just all get along and be friends?

f448d6d023f36bf7183d898649ad36b7

Be my Neanderthal baby.

So that brings up some interesting questions, including today’s Burning Question.

Burning Question #6: If you eat a mermaid is it cannibalism?

 

No matter what your answer you’ll be shouting “Winner! Winner! Mermaid Dinner!”

Have fun everyone and don’t get too close to dark water, or dark eyed children with fish tails for that matter. You know how strange life in dark waters can be.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

il_340x270.762660675_s2y8

Brief Musings on Ghosts, Romance, and Art

I stood in the dark, on my deck with coffee, looking down at my yard and the woods beyond. I live on a hill so my yard is at a slant and I’m always in the top of the trees below.

Anyway, as I try to muse in lofty poetic tones…

I saw the ghosts in the woods. They stand together, lovers from different centuries, in their own world.

Not all ghosts are like this. Then again, not all Vampires are like me.

They dance close, their foreheads touching as they sway under the stars. Then he looks up and blows me a kiss, then they vanish.

He usually just flips me off. It must be a good night in the neither world.

Oh, yes, I have to tell you…

We’re going to Chalk it Up – an art festival that we always go to on Labor Day Weekend. I’ll be posting photos. We’re taking the elders. It is always fun for Vampires to go out for a day.

Click HERE for photos from previous Chalk it Up events we’ve been to.

 

xoxoxo

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Melancholia Over Coffee

What do you want to do today?

My daughter asked me that as if I’d have an answer.

I have a million things I could be doing – I should be doing.

A dog wash is on the list. The 11-year-old sled dog is rather ripe right now. Then a walk to the lake.

And maybe something to get me out of the mood right out of a Poe story.

I have coffee and a million stories running in my head but when my fingers touch the keyboard or a pen I freeze up and can’t find the physical or mental energy to do anything.

We have a nectarine tree to plant. We have fog drenched roses to prune. We have to play Wii Dance 15.  We need to laugh.

I’ll work a Werewolf story around in my mind and think about tales from my Vampire brothers I can share. I have books to finish. I’ll write down stories later of teens and school and friendship and even a magic trick. I will let the cats in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out.

I’ll finish my coffee, start my Saturday and be glad I am not Annabel Lee.

 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

coffee