Ask Juliette: About Vampire Powers, and GOT

Welcome to “Ask Juliette” aka “Ask a Vampire” a not so regular semi-regular feature here at vampiremaman.com.

I answer all sorts of questions about life, love, Vampires, parenting, pets, wine, cheese, art, and anything else YOU need answers for or help with. If you have a question leave it in the comment section below or send me an email message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail.com.

So here we go.

crowletter

Dear Juliette: I’m working on becoming a vampire. Could you please tell me about vampire powers? I also want to know if vampires can change their physical appearance (like getting taller or changing their face) or can they learn to do so? Thanks!!

I’m not sure what you mean by working on becoming a vampire. You’re either a vampire or you’re not. If you want to become a Vampire find a reliable and trusted community of Vampires to help you out. It isn’t all about drinking blood. 

As for powers, I like to think of it as Vampire specific abilities or talents.

Yes, Vampires can change their physical appearance as much as anyone else can. Fortunately we can also make people THINK we look different than we actually do. We can’t get taller unless one is a child. 

We (Vampires) can also give you sweet dreams or bad dreams. That is one of our most useful tools.

We can erase short term memories. We can give you long term memories. We can lock our eyes on yours and make you do all kinds of things. That is the sure fire defense against Vampire Hunters. We’re quiet. We’re strong. We’re pretty fast for the most part. We can seem invisible. 

Vampires know when someone is telling a lie.

One of my favorite traits is that people are extremely attracted to us. Seriously. There is no need to climb through bedroom windows and creep around to find donors. People like us. Of course they do. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Vampires heal fast. We can also heal each other, and regular people (if we feel like it.)

However, we can’t always find our keys, or the mates to our socks, or top lids that match the bottom – just like everyone else. 

Contrary to popular belief we do not sparkle (unless we use glitter lotion), we do not burn to a crisp in the sun, we don’t avoid mirrors, crosses and other religious symbols don’t burn us. Sure we avoid churches because we’re not welcome. Some of us are more sensitive to the sun, but that is true with any population group. 

Vampires like coffee. Food with a lot of sugar (and carbs) tend to make us extremely sick. We usually don’t eat birds/poultry.

Vampires have a strong connection to animals.

Vampires can see Ghosts, Demons, Angels, Spirits, Fairies, and all sorts of beings most regular people can’t see.

When writing Vampires start words like Vampire, Werewolf, and Ghost, with a capitol letter. 

As a rule Vampires are not overly fond of Time Travelers.

As with everyone else, each Vampire has their own special powers/skills. The longer you’re a Vampire the more you’ll learn and refine those skills.

Of course, if you’re the kind of Vampire who has no soul that is entirely another set of answers. I won’t go their this morning. I haven’t finished my coffee yet so I’m not up to that conversation.

For more information about Vampires browse though my blog. There are about 2,000 posts here and a good portion are about Vampires. The other posts are about parenting, cats, coffee, and other assorted unrelated subjects.

Good luck on your transformation. I hope it is what you really want.

 

crowletter

Dear Juliette: Who do you think will be left at the end of Game of Thrones?

I don’t know, but if any dragons are left they can send them to my house.  

 

And NOW a shameless plug. If you like fantasy and dragons check out the WPaD Anthology Dragons and Dreams. Available at all fine online booksellers. Proceeds go to support those with MS.

dragons-and-dreams-2

Thanks for coming by. Now I’m off to find more coffee and then vacuum tons of dog hair off of my carpets.

If you have a question or if you just want to know what I think about something feel free to ask.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Alice

My dog Alice

Ask Juliette: Fairy Tales, Kid’s Sports, and Vampires

Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a somewhat regular feature at vampiremaman.com

This week I’ll answer some interesting questions about fairy tales, the hot button issue of kid’s sports, and a bunch of silly and random questions about Vampires.

Ask Juliette

What do you think of Fairy Tales?

Oh how many lives have been ruined by young women buying into the fairy tale, and expecting Prince Charming to come sweep them off their feet and make their lives whole.

Beauty and the Beast is a great example of Stockholm Syndrome.

Cinderella, despite her problems, marries a prince. The problem is that she marries a guy who can only recognize her by her shoe size. Something is wrong with that. She also stays in an abusive home situation long after she is old enough to be on her own. Seriously – if the girl is old enough to be married, she is old enough to get the Hell out on her own.

If I had been Sleeping Beauty’s mother I would have told her up front about the curse and skipped all of the fairy BS in the middle. And if I’ve been sleeping and some strange guy, or guy I hardly know, comes into my bedroom and kisses me, it isn’t going to go over well.

As for those little fat brats Hansel and Gretel… they shouldn’t go around eating the homes of elderly people.

Most fairy tales, in their original form are brutally cautionary tales. With the advent of Disney, and other media outlets, they became romanticized.

I love fairy tales. But I don’t ever compare them to real life. Honey, no fairy tale guy is going to rescue you unless he is has a foot fetish or is into necrophilia (and you don’t want any of that.)

Throw it Sister. All sports should be out of love.

Throw it Sister. All sports should be out of love.

What do you think about kid’s sports?

Are you talking about a child in a sport he or she loves? Or are you talking about a parent feeding her/his own dreams, ego, and desires?

Sports are great for kids… providing that the parents are realistic and mature about it. Yes, I said MATURE, because sports seems to bring out the immaturity in parents.

Here are my thoughts and rules:

  • Let your child have fun.
  • Don’t expect your child to win every single time.
  • Don’t pressure your child to win.
  • Keep out of the business of other children and other parents.
  • Don’t yell at the coach.
  • Don’t expect the coach to jump through flaming hoops for your child.
  • Don’t be jelous of other children or their parents.
  • Don’t bully or allow your child to be a bully.
  • Don’t say rude things to other parents or to children who are not yours.
  • Do not put us with others (parents and kids) bullying you or your children.
  • If your kid doesn’t win every single time don’t ask the coach to put them in a lower level event so they’ll have an easy win. Don’t drop out of the sport because they don’t always win. Many (most) Olympic athletes didn’t win competitions right away. Some didn’t blossom until they got to high school or college. There is nothing wrong with not coming in first every single time. Your kid will learn more from trying harder challenging herself and coming in last, than she will from an easy win.
  • Don’t be a shit head.
  • If your child won’t practice it isn’t the fault of the coach.
  • Your child is not a professional. Don’t act like they are. This is not their life. It is not your life. It is just a game. Get over it. Have fun. Chill. Don’t be a jerk.
  • If a coach makes your child cry then it is time to get another coach.

My child is a National Champion at her sport. When she started she wasn’t a natural. It took her a long time to catch on. I let her do it because she enjoyed it. We (her parents) supported her. We did not demand that she win at every meet. We did not care when she lost (for years.) We let her do her do it because she loved it. When she started to win we cheered LOUDLY. When she doesn’t win we still cheer LOUDLY. When others we know compete we cheer loudly.

When she first started she was bullied by other parents and children, because in sports there are always assholes who think they have to bully others. Those people are no longer in the sport. They’re losers. They will never be winners no matter how many medals they have. They will never get to the top of life. If I had anything to do over I would take stronger action against the bullies. My daughter has a partner in her sport who also is a kind and gentle soul, with a kind and gentle family who supports him.

Like I said – the bullies dropped out. The parents who demanded constant wins from their children dropped out. The kids who were yelled at learned to hate the sport and dropped out. The kids who were constantly being pushed by their parents to achieve unrealistic perfection dropped out.

The children who were loved, encouraged, and shown good humor stayed in the sport and became champions.

Now for some random Vampire questions from the peanut gallery.

Now for some random Vampire questions from the peanut gallery.

Do Vampires have gardens?

Yes, some do. I do.

Seriously - we are not monsters.

Seriously – we are not monsters. 

If I became a Vampire could I ever turn back into a Normal-Non-Vampire-Non-Blood-Drinking-Person?

You’ve got a lot of hyphens going on there. No, you can’t go back. What is done is done.

 

A photo of Udo just because he looks so good.

A photo of Udo just because he looks so good.

Can Vampires eat regular food?

Sometimes. Sort of. Maybe, for some. We tend to stick to green things like kale and artichokes, red meat, a bit of cheese, and alcohol. We generally don’t do well with carbs or sugar. In fact, none of us do well with carbs or sugar. Anything fried can make us sick for days. Most food makes us sick so we proceed with extreme caution. Passing a bakery and taking in the smells can be torture for some Vampires as they remember back when they were donut eating hot blooded folk. And only teeny tiny amounts of chocolate on only very special occasions. My advice is to just skip it. It isn’t worth it.

 

Iareseriouscat

Is it OK for a Vampire to date a Werewolf.

For God’s sake why would you want to? Sure, you could. It would be complicated. I guarantee they’ll be problems. But hey, who am I to judge? In the meantime stop asking. Everybody asks this question and I’m tired of it.

 

You know these guys!

You know these guys!

If a Vampire bites a dog would it turn into a Vampire Dog or a Werewolf?

WTF? It wouldn’t turn into anything but a pissed off dog because some asshole decided to bite it.

 

Don't bite me dude.

Don’t bite me dude.

If an X-ray was taken of a Vampire skull would it look different than a Human skull.

Maybe.

Teddyanddog

 

Why do Vampires always wear black?

We don’t aways wear black. Black is fashionable. Black can’t be seen at night. Black is easy. Black is hip. Black goes with almost everything. Black is just one color we wear. I love to wear blue and olive green. I love absolutely love olive green and moss colored clothing. Right now I’m wearing black, but I don’t always wear black.

 

It isn't always black, or even red.

It isn’t always black, or even red.

 

That is all I have time for today. If you have any pressing questions about parenting, Vampires, romance, relationships, or just about anything just ask me. I’ll answer just about anything. Send me a message at juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask Juliette: Blogging a Book Series With a Bit of Parenting, and Vampire Questions

Ask Juliette is a regular Thursday feature on Vampire Maman. Questions are from my readers. Feel free to add your own comments and suggestions.

Ask Juliette

Quite a few of my readers have asked me the same question.

Juliette, when are you going to turn your blog into a book?

Funny you should ask. Tomorrow I have the opportunity to speak (pitch my work) to a literary  agent who likes the kind of stuff I write, especially the historic aspects of the work.

I should be excited. Give me a glass of wine and good company at a party and everyone wants me to talk about my blog. On the other hand sitting in front of a stranger and trying to explain why she should take time out of her busy career and represent my work, well, makes me so nervous that you’d think I was meeting with a bunch of angry Vampire hunters. I feel kind of sick. Or worse I’ll get a deer-in-the-headlights stare and a luke warm thank you.

The wonderful blogger John from monkeybellhop.com said of my work:

“An interesting hybrid of family and societal observations from the perspective of a mother who also happens to be a vampire. That Vampire Maman, aka Juliette, is a highly innovative and insightful writer with a gift for creating a fantasy world within a “real” world context.”

Where do I start?

I could keep with the Vampire parenting theme, keeping with the stories about raising my Vampire children in a world in which they are different from everyone else.

Aside from children I also take care of elders. Tellias and Eleora look like young adults, but they’re over 2,000 years old and act like senior citizens. Everyone loves them. They make us laugh, yet, they also break our hearts, like normal old people.

Last night was our last back to school night. My youngest is a senior in high school. After this year I won’t have anymore crazy middle school or high school stories. It will be a new beginning for this blog with GROWN Vampire children. But back to the book idea…

I’ve already outlined a series based on the adventures of my brother’s and me. Each book would focus on a different brother (due to their different personalities) and the last book would be about my brother Val and me. Since Val and I are so close in age most of his exciting adventures were with me.

You know, I was kind of thinking this would be kind of like a Nora Roberts type trilogy/series where each friend/sibling has their own book, but they all end up together in the last book. But don’t worry, as much as I love her work, I would not copy her. I’m just using her books as an example.

Book 1: Max (Maxwell) the Eldest. The alpha Vampire enforcer type. He has all sorts of problems with demons, selkies, fallen angels, Vampire hunters, werewolves, his brother Andy, and of course women. He has a lot of issues with women.

Book 2: Andy (Andrew) the funny opera singer who is always getting in and out of trouble. He is most famous for the story “Morning at the Vineyard.” He also throws a great house party, and is always popular with the unicorns, and pixies, not to mention middle aged college professors.

Book 3: Aaron is a husband, father, attorney, and Vampire. He sometimes helps his Vampire Hunter friend Austin Durant (of The Hunter, Austin and Elizabeth Stories) take care of rogue Vampires, and rogue Vampire Hunters.

Book 4. Juliette and Val (Valentine). We’ve had a lot of adventures across three centuries. Just the other day I called him to ask if he remembered a party we went to in the 1880’s. On the other end of the phone was a pause then a low laugh. Yes, he remembered. Along with other adventures on the road and closer to home.

All four books would go from the past when we were children during the California Gold Rush, to today with the challenges of modern Vampire life.

I’ll soon be revising and editing my short story collection “Morning at the Vineyard,” I’ll keep you posted on that one.

So would you like to see books based on this blog? Would you read it based on what you’ve already read from me? Do you like my work enough to keep reading more than just a blog post?

I also have the serial fantasy novel “Girl in the Woods,” going here. There are the ever so popular “Vampire Diary” series with Vlad the Vampire King. The Austin and Elizabeth stories are popular too. Eleora and Tellias could also have a stand alone book of their own.

Let me know what you think.

Vampire Teen

How old are you? Could you give me your birth date?

10/23/1859

If you try to catfish me or do anything stupid I’ll send some really nasty and mean Vampires after you. And they WILL find you.

This is not my bed. I don't sleep in a box.

Do you like drinking blood?

Why is it always about blood? There are so many good food bloggers out there who have far more interesting things to offer a reader than my eating habits.

But to answer your question… yes, and sometimes more than yes, but I usually don’t even think about it.

And come to think about it – that is kind of a rude question for someone to ask a Vampire.

Featured Image -- 12049

Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampiremaman.com

If you have a question about anything from romance, to parenting, to paranormal, to family drama, to writing, to history, to fashion, or whatever, just ask. I’ll do my best to answer.

Just email your questions to: juliettevampiremom @ gmail. com

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

In case you missed it…

Some things are better the second time around. In case you missed some of these more memorable posts…here you go.

Parenting

Fatherhood

Vampire Stories

Just for Fun

Poetry

Sleep