Vampire Diary: Shelf Critter Theater

Dear Diary,

My young friend Willow, a baby by Vampire terms, asked me tonight about wine, women, and song of long ago when I was Vampire King.

It made me think of when my friend Randolfo and I were traveling to the edges of the civilized world. We were in exotic territories that were not to be found on most maps of the time.

My friend Randolfo said, "Vlad, we should go out on the town and find some beautiful women and drink their blood."

My friend Randolfo said, “Vlad, we should go out on the town and find some beautiful women and drink their blood.” This portrait here is of Randolfo taken 423 years after this tale which I am about to tell you.

 

 

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We arrived at an old castle on the hill where it was rumored there was a tavern. We knew it must be an important place because of the armored guards. We were allowed inside because we were obviously important, and because we were Vampires.

 

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Some of the most beautiful women I had ever laid eyes upon were sharing wine. I knew I’d have blood, and maybe even bring one or two of them back to the castle in which we were staying for a late night snack.

 

 

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As I walked by all of the women looked my way. Women always look when I walk by. I am told that is because I am cute.

 

Around the bar important men and women were meeting over drinks and food.

Around the bar important men and women were meeting over drinks and food. They came from all corners of the Earth. The beautiful women we had passed earlier continued to drink and act like fools.

 

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“Come join us,” said Lady Lynx. “As you can see,” she purred, “we have plenty of food and drink. What brings two such handsome Vampire Lords to our far corner of the unknown world?” The Two-Can added, “We have cases of chili and fruit cocktail. It is the kind with cherries. We also have 3,000 pounds of goldfish crackers from the exotic ponds of Madam Lili. Please partake with us Vampire Lords.”

 

I noticed how drunk the women had become. "What time is it?" Randolpho asked Count Crow. "I believe it is Never More, but you need to go ask Alice."

I noticed how drunk the women had become. “What time is it?” Randolfo asked Count Crow. “I believe it is Never More, but you need to go ask Alice.”

 

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“Seriously Vampire King, you must go ask Alice because I am a lowly bird and do not know how to tell time.” I knew the bird was a liar, as all crows are, but still went in search of Alice.

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We found Alice sitting on a rare and valuable exotic rug by the window. When I asked her about the time she said, “Shirley you jest?”

 

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Then Shirley said, “I NEVER jest. Stop saying shit about me bitch.”

 

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Then a lone skull warming himself on the hearth said, “Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?”

 

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“It is almost 2:00 a.m.” yelled one of the Armadillo armoured, I mean Armored guards. You can always count on an Armadillo to tell you the correct time.

 

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“Music,” yelled the Unicorn. “Where is that Rainbow Donkey when we need him?” Then he blew his trumpet and the party became out of control.

 

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Lord Two-Can and Lady Lynx wanted to play some Jazz records but unfortunately records had not been invented yet.

 

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Love was in the air.

 

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I told them to be careful or they would end up in an unfortunate way.

 

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Even one of the guards found romance that night.

 

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Even the Lord Mayor ended up romancing the shy woman who lived in the frame. Before she had ignored him but now she was quite frisky. Tonight love was completely black and white to her.

 

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Suddenly there was a scream. A great beast had grabbed one of the women.

 

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I rescued the woman and disabled the Hell Hound.

 

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The women celebrated and danced in formation, like human flowers.

 

"LAST CALL," yelled the bartender.

“LAST CALL,” yelled the bartender.

 

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By then all of the women were too drunk to drive home. The bartender was mightily pissed.

 

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Then the strange and serious ghostly Woman in White said, “We need Vampire Blood – NOW.”

 

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I turned to see a bloody alter waiting for Randolfo and me. What Vampire had gone before us? We could only guess.

 

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BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD. The sound of their cries shook our very Vampire bones to the core.

 

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We ran, and they ran after us like Zombies. Only they were faster than Zombies.

 

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Then the Hell Hound jumped up and rescued us.

 

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The Hell Hound reduced them all to well chewed bones.

 

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Then an angel appeared and said, “Get the Hell out of here Vampire scum. Go on, don’t be stupid. Get your pretty asses moving.”

 

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When we arrived back at our lodgings my sister told us that we were fools. Then I told her, “only fools fall in love, and we have not fallen in love for anyone.” She was not amused by my joke.

Willow wiped a tear from her beautiful brown eyes and told me that she was touched by my story. After that we went in search of blood, booze and goldfish crackers. We found all in a place with no skulls, or Vampire killers. I think I am beginning to like Modern Life.

~ Vlad

 

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Note: This wild and crazy tale is my 2017 entry to the Evil Squirrel’s Contest of Whatever. Thank you ES for providing the most frustrating and silly contest I have EVER entered in my entire 157 years. Holy Ghost Balls – what were you thinking?

Hope you all enjoyed this silly Shelf Critter adventure. For more information about The Evil Squirrel’s Nest (where all the cool squirrels hang out) and Shelf Critters CLICK HERE.

Previous Contest of Whatever Entries from Vampire Maman (and I love all of these posts):

https://evilsquirrelsnest.com/2017/01/29/the-fourth-annual-contest-of-whatever/

How to Keep Vampires Away (what REALLY works)

halloween-pinup

 

I can’t imagine anyone wanting to keep Vampires away. But if you do want to keep anyone from sucking your blood (aside from the IRS and DMV) get the facts.

Forget anything you’ve heard about garlic. You’d be surprised how many Vampires live in Gilroy. I have not one, but two jars of garlic stuffed olives in my refrigerator at home. I can’t imagine a lemon vodka Martini without one.

And forget religion. That won’t help you either. Sure you can pray, but a Vampire wants what a Vampire wants. Sure we’re not all that comfortable in churches. We know we’re not altogether welcome, but a cross, holy water, chants, prayer shawls or other items of faith will not keep us away.

Silver will not kill Vampires or keep us away. Holy Thanksgiving Table Setting, what would I do without my set of Kirk & Sons Repousse Sterling Silver, or my silver candle sticks. That is yet another myth. Of course silver bullets will stop a Werewolf, but if you shoot just about anything in the heart with a silver tipped high-explosive incendiary/armor-piercing ammunition they’ll die. Well, unless it is a ghost or a large dinosaur (think T-Rex.)

The silver thing is yet another myth put out by Witches wishing to corner the precious metals and fine candle stick market. Excuse me, if you want precious metals your best bet is always a reputable Vampire.

Sunlight and reflections from mirrors don’t work either. If I look directly into your eyes (or mine) in a mirror I can the reflection just fine. You’ll see it just fine as well. Now if you break a mirror and try to stab a Vampire in the heart with the shard or cut off it’s head, well, that is just rude. Sure we tend to be light sensitive, some of us more than others, but if we’re really hungry it isn’t going to stop us. Then again, is you’re an asshole about it and start flashing light we’re just going to leave because we’re annoyed. Either that or we’ll stay and give you nightmares for the rest of your life.

What REALLY keeps Vampires away?

We all have our personal preferences.

I asked my kids and my daughter said, “Kim Kardisian’s voice would do it for me.” Very funny kids. But true. The man child agreed, then gave a gravely laugh as young men do.

If you’re still worried about Vampires here are the top THREE things that will keep us away.

Vic’s Vapor Rub

Slather the smelly stuff all over your neck and chest. Yes, even the thought of the stuff repels me and makes me want to drop the biggest F bombs of all time. This is the one sure fire way to keep Vampires away. The smell repulses Vampires and the taste…oh it is vile. No Vampire will invade your space or bite you with Vic’s. Then again it will also turn off anyone else who might want to visit you at night.

Werewolves

Dogs won’t keep us away but Werewolves definitely will. They tend to get nasty when one of us comes around for dinner. Sure Vampires and Werewolves can be friendly. I have friends who are Werewolves. But seriously, if a Vampire is looking for blood they will go somewhere else if Werewolves are in the vicinity.

Pregnancy

Vampires DO NOT like the blood of pregnant women. Yes, we’re more accurate than 99.9% of pregnancy tests on the market.

My brother Val, aka Mr. Sophisticated Cool, has a seedier side to his nights. He isn’t above the occasional prowl down to the darker sides of life where there are many more needles than Vampire fangs. He’ll spend a night enjoying toxic cocktails of poisoned blood, but if he finds himself with a pregnant woman’s blood in his system he’ll be puking it up all night long.

Yes, a pregnant woman’s blood makes Vampires sick. Male Vampires become violently ill from the stuff. So if you’re wondering what to expect when you’re expecting – don’t expect Vampires.

 

Now you know. Have fun, and be careful.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

But then there are always those disturbing images you just can't get out of your head.

But then there are always those disturbing images you just can’t get out of your head.

 

 

An afternoon with an ancient Vampire (and Werewolves)

punkinsteethHalloween is almost here and that means a party at the home of the ancient Vampires Eleora and Tellias. I’d promised Tellias I’d take him shopping for craft supplies. He could have gone on his own but lately he had a tendency to get lost, especially when going out during the daylight hours.

When I arrived at the grand Victorian farmhouse the couple share Tellias was waiting with a Panama hat on and round dark sunglasses. Today he was dressed fairly normal – a black velveteen vest over a white shirt, black jeans and yellow flip flops. His pale blonde hair was fanned out like liquid gold over his shoulders.  He looked all of nineteen years old.

We had one other stop, to see my friend Adam, a photographer, who also happens to be a Werewolf. If I’d told Tellias about it he wouldn’t have agreed to go. Werewolves are always a touchy subject with him.

Adam was there with his photographs and two other Werewolves, a man and a woman. He introduced them as Troy and Bethany. Troy was large and deeply tanned with that sort of manly lumberjack look women seem to love. Brandy was delicate pretty woman with one blue eye and one brown eye. She wore her hair in long reddish curls and looked like anything but a Werewolf.

Most people don’t know that Werewolves, despite popular myths, are the researchers, geeks and scientists of the alternate world (that world of Werewolves, Vampires and other not so regular type humans.)

I noticed Brandy’s right hand, mangled and curled under with horrible scars. She held her hand up close to her side as if she was protecting it.

They knew who Tellias was. Everyone knew about the ancient Vampire, born in Rome around the time when BC merged into AD. He’d gone to Britain with the Roman army as sort of an adviser. The Roman generals knew he was brilliant and special but nobody knew he was a Vampire. And eventually, he ended up here and now, shopping for Halloween craft supplies on a beautiful fall day in Northern California.

After introductions the Werewolves asked Tellias if there were wolves in Britain back almost 2,000 years ago when he was there. He thought for a second.

“They were large wolves and they were eating the dead.  Even Vampires couldn’t compete with that kind of horror.  I couldn’t blame them for an easy meal. I’ve gone for easy too. We all have.

The wolves were magnificent creatures unlike any I’d seen anywhere.  The blood baths against any living creature bothered me from the start.”

“Did you hunt the wolves?” asked Brandy.

“No, no, not at all. We’re Vampires not ghouls.”

“Did you know King Arthur?” That was Adam asking out of the blue. I almost told him to shut up.

Tellias gave a serious slightly peeved look. “King Arthur? Friends knew him. Said he was sort of a dick. It was a harsh world back then, not the romantic ideal you see in the movies. There was no social justice or human rights or much of anything. No animal rights. That said, it was a good time for Vampires before Regular Humans figured out what we were up to. It was that damn group of self important rogue Vampires who set themselves up as wizards and all sorts of other nonsense. We annihilated most of them but the damage was done. Done, done, done, forever. Our reputations were ruined and our cover blown clear out of the sky. Clear out.

I knew a priest back then, a man of God who was good. His name was Virgil. Like the poet or like the guy in the Sanford novels, Virgil Flowers.  Have you read those books? I think my Virgil was from Southern Europe but I never knew and he never told me. He could talk with wolves and hawks. I’ve always liked Hawks. Sometimes I’ll sit for hours and watch them.

There were wild spirits and wilder men who tried to keep Virgil from his work. He was a healer, not just of broken bones but a healer of the soul.  He was like an early psychiatrist. He was a werewolf too. We became close friends. Close close friends. I miss him to this day. So does my wife.  You know, I don’t even remember when I started calling her my wife, it just seemed like we were married the first night we ever spent together, which was also the first night we met. He said we were too nice to be damned but I once caught him weeping because he didn’t believe Vampires had souls and he thought we were demons. Do you think we’re demons? Undead lifeless shadows with no souls? Parasites of human blood? We have two souls and we can’t sell them or give them away. Our souls are our burden to keep alone. Nobody looks after us. Just like Werewolves, nobody looks after you or your souls either.” Tellias looked around the room oh so quietly in his Vampire way, looking straight into the very soul of each and every Werewolf.

“So we’re all damned according to your lore?” Brandy asked again, still holding her hand close to her side.

Tellias looked her straight in the eyes. “Not damned, just alone. All alone. As alone as can be. So we must keep organized and quiet and stay together despite our differences.”

Tellias looked at me in mild confusion and annoyance. “Why are we here again?”

“They need our help,” I said

“So they call on the old Vampire.”

“Yes, they need your help. They’re doing a study about healing powers and pain. They’d like to find out how we manage it so well when others are unable to. They want to know if it is physical or mental. It is a problem with Werewolves.”

“Can we go now?” He looked clearly uncomfortable and annoyed. He whispered in my hear so only I could hear, “everything is mental with Werewolves. They’re nuts.”

“We have to go,” I said to the Werewolves.

“Someone is hunting us, do you know who it is?” That was Troy, speaking up for the first time. He sounded pretty desperate and emotional.

Tellias took a deep breath. “October is always a bad month for this kind of insanity. I’m sorry I don’t know right off hand but…” He approached Bethany and took her hand. “What happened to you dear girl?” Tellias tenderly asked her, taking her hand in his. I thought she would pull away, but she allowed him to look.

“I was caught in a trap about a year ago. I had to chew off enough to slip out.”

Covering Brandy’s injured hand with both of his hands he closed his eyes for a few seconds and then opened them up again. Then he kissed her mangled fingers gently.

“The pain is gone.” She said in amazement. Her eyes teared up.

The beautiful old Vampire kissed her cheek. “Be careful on Halloween and keep your pets inside.”

Then he smiled. “Did you know Werewolf blood tastes like Bourbon?”

Adam laughed as the others looked shocked. It was time to go.

As we walked to my car, headed off to finally get those craft and party supplies Tellias put his arm around my waist and gave me a thoughtful concerned adult look. “Juliette, my dear girl, I might be ancient but I am not a curiosity to be put on display.”

I started to speak and he tightened his grip on me. “I love you as if you were my own child. I feel for the Werewolves, but my dear, we can’t live our lives as if every single day is Halloween. That said, I am so proud of you.”

Then he started to sing quietly, as he always does. I listened for a moment. Nine in the Afternoon. It was unexpected but then again, isn’t everything?

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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Nine in the Afternoon

(Panic!  at the Disco)

Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as lovers can, you know
Yeah, we’re feeling so good

Picking up things we shouldn’t read
It looks like the end of history as we know
It’s just the end of the world

Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as love
You could, you can

Into a place, where thoughts can bloom
Into a room where it’s nine in the afternoon
And we know that it could be
And we know that it should
And you know that you feel it too
‘Cause it’s nine in the afternoon

Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could ’cause you can, so you do
We’re feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it’s nine in the afternoon

Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could ’cause you can, so you do
We’re feeling so good

Back to the street
Down to our feet
Losing the feeling of feeling unique
Do you know what I mean?

Back to the place
Where we used to say
Man, it feels good to feel this way
Now I know what I mean

Back to the street, back to the place
Back to the room where it all began
Back to the room where it all began
‘Cause it’s nine in the afternoon

Your eyes are the size of the moon
You could ’cause you can, so you do
We’re feeling so good
Just the way that we do
When it’s nine in the afternoon (x3)

Watch the official video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCto3PCn8wo

Songwriters
Urie, Brendon Boyd / Walker, Jonathan Jacob / Smith, Spencer James / Ross, George Ryan

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And if you need more on those Scottish Wolves…

 

On Ederachillis’ shore

The grey wolf lies in wait

Woe to the broken door,

Woe to the loosened gate,

And the groping wretch whom sleety fogs

On the trackless moor belate.

The lean and hungry wolf,

With his fangs so sharp and white,

His starveling body pinched

By the frost of a northern night,

And his pitiless eyes that scare the dark

With their green and threatening light.

He climeth the guarding dyke,

He leapeth the hurdle bars,

He steals the sheep from the pen,

And the fish from the boathouse spars,

And the digs the dead from out of the sod,

And gnaws them under the stars.

Thus every grave we dug

The hungry wolf uptore,

And every morn the sod

Was strewn with bones and gore:

Our motherearth had denied us rest

On Ederchaillis’ shore

—The Book of Highland Minstrelsy, 1846

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For more on Werewolves

For more on Tellias

FYI: This is the 600th post on Vampiremaman.com! How about that!

Oh look, Adam is here.

Oh look, Adam is here.

Why you’re morbidly (and passionately) attracted to Vampires

What is the fascination with Vampires?

Disclaimer: I used the word MORBID in the post title because it sounded creepy and fun. No other reason.

Warnings: If you despise the idea of Vampires, people who like the idea of Vampires, Werewolves and all sorts of paranormal, supernatural, things that go bump in the night and flapping bats, ghosts, elves and cocktails then you might want to go read something else, like the stock reports or the back of your laundry detergent box.

People like to be scared

grossoutRemember when you were a kid sitting around the campfire listening to the stories about the man with the golden arm or the guy with the hook arm or random ghost stories? Then you graduated to your first Stephen King novel and now you can’t look at a clown without wanting to scream? And we love watching those Paranormal Activity Movies even though they are so stupid that we’re laughing at the same time we’re jumping out of our skin scared. A cracked closet door at night contains more than just party dresses… a footstep at night is more than just the cat padding up the stairs…it is the unknown thing that lurks in the deepest darkest corners of our imaginations…it is fear and we love it.

And face it, Vampires can be pretty scary. They can immobilize you with their minds, seduce you, suck your blood and kill you. And they can turn you into a Vampire if they so desire. They’re called undead, like a ghost with a body (not really but that is the mythology.) Plus bad Vampires are really really really hard to kill.

Now, when you’re scared you either become a quivering mass of emotional jelly, or you get an intense adrenaline rush. So being scared turns from something bad into something really fun.

So your assignment for tonight is to get a flashlight, a blanket, turn off the lights, put the blanket over your head, turn on the flashlight and read Poe’s “The Tell Tale Heart”. Now THAT will creep you out.

Plus without the sense of fear the squirrels would have eaten humans a long time ago. OK, I’m sure the badgers, wolves and bears would have helped out a little, but you know what I mean.

Vampires are Forbidden

If you’re a Regular Human your mom and dad won’t want you to be dating a Vampire. They’re weird, cold and suck your blood. They aren’t like you. But you like the Vampire anyway and think your parents are dorks.  I think that explains the forbidden part of this post.

You like the idea of Power

ignoranceVampires, while hidden, are powerful. They can be immoral, putting aside their souls or thought of others. But they are purposeful and smart. They move in the shadows using seduction (that sex thing again) and power to get what they desire. They are hunters, one of the few beings that are on top of the food chain, above humans. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be there. I love my veggies too but…you have to admit there is nothing like getting your fangs into someone and feeling that surge of energy. What a rush. A rush that no drug can duplicate.

Immortality

No physical aging, more or less. Who wouldn’t like that? On the other hand there are things one might miss out on, like knee replacements…I doubt if there is any of that anyone would miss out on. Plus the almost complete lack of illness, not worrying about elderly parents, the ability to do things over again and again and again…and boredom that could last for centuries if you don’t play your cards right.

Man’s Triumph Over Evil

carrieOh just blame it on the Vampire. Go ahead.

My opinion on this one is that humans must overcome their own evil and look at themselves, not with rose-colored glasses and not with fear. They must put aside their political, religious and cultural biases and stand against evil. When one stands against evil one must not fear it but take it by the neck and strangle it out.

OK to translate that bit of writing I just penned: Evil is violence and hate for the purpose of control and spreading ignorance. Evil hides behind a false mask of religion, power and goodness – so listen carefully when you hear the voice of evil it sounds like the song of an angel. Evil will also tell lies to turn you against good. Pickup any history book and you’ll find hundreds, even thousands of examples. To translate again – don’t believe everything you hear. Being a skeptic could one day save your life. Just read “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” You’ll know what I’m talking about.

In order to explain away evil people, humans have used creatures such as Vampires, Werewolves and Ghosts as metaphors for such bad behavior.

A long time ago, way before CSI, way before Jack the Ripper, before Dracula and before The Bridges of Madison County (sorry, I had to get that in there HA HA HA), humans had a difficult time explaining extreme horrible events such as serial killers. No human could cause such violence. No human could kill/torture/rape in the middle of the night unless…unless it wasn’t human. It couldn’t be human. Well, wake up and smell the warm mead, it wasn’t a Werewolf, back in 835 AD it was Weird Uncle Bill who carved weird little wooden rats and lived with his mom in her mud hut, that is until he killed her and started dressing in her clothes. In 1343 it was charming handsome Sir Albert who was luring all of those woman away to the swamp where he’d do horrible things to them. Or in 1890 the beloved Rev. Donald Green posed as a good man of God, when in truth he was a Godless man, using the local river banks as a dump for the tortured bodies of lost souls who’d come through his soup kitchen.

But wouldn’t it be easier to believe it was a blood sucking creature of the night or a man turned into a wolf who did all the killing?

And just like serial killers fascinate us, we’re fascinated with all inhuman creatures that act in the place of bad humans.

On the other hand, one never knows if it could have been a rogue Vampire or Werewolf. We just don’t know. Well, some of us know…

My husband has always been fascinated with serial killers (and he finds them horrible.) He even has some new theories on the Zodiac. Then again, we live in Northern California a place that seems to be the epicenter of weird killers. Yuck.

Of course a small circle of Vampires, who just happened to be in London in the 1880’s know exactly who Jack the Ripper was.

Yes, Vampires are dangerous to please be cautious. Vampires will suck out your blood. Vampires will lie to you. Vampires will trick you. Vampires will break your heart. Vampires can, if provoked, suck out your soul and rip your throat out. Vampires are not to be taken lightly. And despite what you’ve learned from my blog there are some evil Vampires out there that you don’t want to mess with.

Vampires are Fun!

As you can see by my posts that Vampires usually have more fun than a bathtub full of otters. It doesn’t take much to amuse a Vampire (or piss us off, but we’ve got that under control, at least most of us)

The Romance of Vampires

romanceDrum roll please. Or should it be violins? This is the number one reason why people currently like Vampires. And don’t we all need a little romance in our lives.

Every other post on this blog has to do with romance. The others involve parenting (Vampire teens), poetry and cats. The most popular posts on this Vampire blog are about writing love letters. If you look at most (not all) but most modern Vampire books it is all about dark forbidden romance.

Blame that on Braham Stoker when he introduced Dracula to the general public but since then writers have been creating more sexy Vampires than I could have ever imagined. And they’re right. I can’t even start to list all of the authors (so I won’t right now).

Vampires do the most personal thing someone could ever do – they drink your blood. Your life force that comes from your warm and beating heart. Vampires NEED you in order to survive. It is that intimate physical connection, in the shadows, the forbidden desire, the kiss of cool lips on your neck, the whisper of a voice so young, yet so old… a voice that belongs to a creature who knows all of your hopes and fears…

If fall in love with a Vampire the choices are difficult. Do you go with him forever into the dark, or do you live forever with a broken heart and the knowledge of another world that so few humans ever experience? For the kiss of a Vampire is something no mortal ever forgets.

Imagine the most intense eyes looking into yours. The cool kiss, hot with passion. Every desire, every want, every need will be fulfilled by this creature of the night, a mystery, an unfulfilled promise waiting to be awakened, it is all yours. You feel the kiss on your neck followed by a scrape of fangs, then those fangs sink into your warm flesh, you want to pull away, but you can’t, you want to stay, you want to be consumed with the intense physical desires and the flood of emotions – fear, lust, desire, want, need, love. And that my dear is what happens when you meet up close and personal with a Vampire.

It is also that romance that lasts not for years, but for centuries.

Vampire Love Poem

I was a spirit

In white silk with pink roses

Bustle in back

You in black tails

Took my breath away

And a century later

When you realized

That I loved you

I could exhale.

`

red heart

And face it girls – Vampire guys are HOT.  They just are. I don’t even need to explain. Whew. Fan me off right now.

A Short List of Vampire Posts for Reference on Romance:

There are more posts on the subject…feel free to search around.

~

So to wrap things up…

Everyone should have fun, and who better to have fun with than a Vampire. Take my word for it. 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman.

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

This is not a scientific study. Keep in mind the POV (point of view) of this odd little semi-popular blog. Chime in if you want. There are many myths, many truths, many theories about Vampire and their cohorts. I mean, really, would you come HERE for a real scientific study? Really? But please feel free to share your stories and your reason for being fascinated with Vampires. Remarks from haters and priggishly toned know-it-alls will be promptly removed (let’s keep this fun folks)