You can be you

All hail

The mysterious

Vampire Lord

God almighty

I am bored.


My friend Cody is fairly new at being a Vampire. He was “converted” in 2012. Needless to say it was quite an unexpected experience for him. One minute he was driving down the coastal highway, and the next minute his crazy girlfriend was turning the wheel of the car and they were flying off of a cliff down into the Pacific Ocean.

They were rescued by Vampires and the rest is history for my former Silicone Valley friend.

Cody has adapted better than most. He has adapted extremely well.

There are times though when my young friend will do things out of habit, or comfort.

He buys fortune cookies just for the fortunes. Of course he doesn’t eat them. That will cause stomach cramps. He gets them for the fortunes. You know those little slips of paper that say things like: You will bring sunshine into someone’s life or Tomorrow your creative side will shine forth with exceptional ideas.

Cody has been coming over to watch “The Alienist” with us on Monday nights. By the way, next Monday is the last one.

If you haven’t been watching this is the story (I stole grabbed this description from another web site.)

The best-selling book by Caleb Carr is the basis for “The Alienist,” a psychological thriller set amidst the vast wealth, extreme poverty and technological innovation of 1896 New York. A never-before-seen ritualistic killer is responsible for the gruesome murders of boy prostitutes, and newly appointed police commissioner Theodore Roosevelt calls upon criminal psychologist Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, newspaper illustrator John Moore and police department secretary Sara Howard to conduct the investigation in secret. The brilliant, obsessive Kreizler is known as an alienist — one who studies mental pathologies and the deviant behaviors of those who are alienated from themselves and society. His job, along with his controversial views, makes him a social pariah in some circles. But helped by a band of outsiders, Kreizler’s tireless efforts eventually answer the question behind what makes a man into a murderer.

You need to check it out just for the costumes. No BS half assed stuff that is so historically inaccurate that it will make your fangs hurt. No over done make-up or modern hair styles on the women. It is visually wonderful. We’ve been sucked into the characters and story as well.

Anyway, Cody mentioned that one of the main actors, Luke Evans (of course he is Welsh, just like my Welsh ancestors who had the same last name)… Luke Evans also played Vlad/Dracula in the movie Dracula Untold. I’m not sure what Dracula was supposed to be told in that story, but apparently someone forgot to tell him what it was. By the way, Luke Evans is great in The Alieniest. I hope to see him in more films/TV in the future.

Then Cody asked, “How come you don’t have all of the people you’ve turned into Vampires calling you their Vampire Queen or Vampire Mother?”

“Because it doesn’t work that way,” I said.

There are bands of Vampires, just like there groups of any type of people with leaders and followers. Most of us just live our own with friends and family. Sure it might get weird to some people, but seriously, I’m living in 2018. I’m living in California in 2018. I’ve never seen a Vampire Lord, or had to deal with someone longing for the days everyone had blood dripping off of their chins and shit like that.

We wear jeans, and flannel shirts, and have access to fortune cookies.

I’m a mom, not Vampirella. I don’t want to be Vampirella. That little weird red swim suit kind of thing she always wears looks really uncomfortable. Besides that her taste in men is horrible.


Seriously, can you imagine wearing this to the hardware store, much less picking your kids up from school in this?

We’re modern Vampires. Just like any modern person, we live in this world. Save the cosplay for the weekend.

Like the song says: You can be you. I love Saint Motel.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



Answers to Questions About Vampires.

I’m really good at dealing with crappy days, but it isn’t as if I like it.

In the meantime if you’re looking for answers here you go…

Answers to Questions I’m Asked About Vampires

No, bats don’t make good pets. They’ll die. Don’t do it.

No, we don’t tear people’s throats out. Think of the mess. And seriously do you rip the door off of your refrigerator every time you get something to eat? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

No, I don’t sleep in a coffin. I really want one of the Sleep Number beds.

Yes, we are sensitive to light. Thank you for asking and pass the sunscreen.

Yes, sometimes we do eat real food (we need fiber just like you).

Yes, we do have paranormal powers. No I won’t tell you about them.

Ask a Werewolf if you want to know about Werewolves.

No, garlic will not kill us. Now your breath… that is another issue.

No, a cross will not burn us.

Yes, fire can kill us. Fire can kill you too.

Yes, if you destroy my heart or cut off my head I’ll die. So will you.

Yes, this is a real Rolex. I purchased it new in 1959.

Yes, cat blood is pretty nasty. I wouldn’t advise it.

Yes, we do hunt vegans.

No, being a vegan will cause a Vampire to go into a coma for a very long time.

Because you’d kill us.

Vampire girls kick ass.

No, we usually just make them think they did. That’s why people love us and have so many fantasies about us.

No, we can’t have biological children with a regular human.

No, less than 10% of humans turned into vampires survive more than a few weeks. Of that only 5% will make it. 90% die within an hour. Did that answer your questions?

We wear other colors. Not just black.

Yes, we do prefer red wine over white.

No, I won’t answer questions about THAT.

Yes, Werewolf blood does taste sort of like Bourbon.

Yes, we do get married to other Vampires. No we don’t marry regular people (not much because it never works out)

No we don’t marry Werewolves. What is wrong with you?

No, I will not show you my teeth.


That’s it for today.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


vampire girls



Vampire Maman

I met my brother Val for breakfast. Not Vampire breakfast. Real food breakfast. We went to a place with great eggs, bacon, omelets and the like. Cheese too. We have to have cheese.

I didn’t think much about what I wore. Gray tee, jeans, navy sweat shirt, silver jewelry. The jewelry is the key. Without the jewelry I’d be invisible. Once I became a mom I was invisible, that is unless I had a cute child with me. I didn’t wear any makeup. I didn’t do anything with my straight chestnut brown hair that just hangs straight around my face. I’m not ugly. I’m pretty enough. I just don’t get noticed most of the time, which is fine by me. I don’t want attention. Usually. I usually don’t want attention.

Val showed up. Every woman in the place was looking at the handsome well dressed man. He glows with a look-at-me vibe. That’s ok. He can turn it off just as easily as he turns it on.

I told him about the book I’m working on. He told me about some homeless tweekers who’d camped out on the sidewalk in front of his downtown Victorian.

The food was good. The waitress was lovely. Nobody else really noticed us. Just a couple of urban Vampires having breakfast on a Wednesday morning.

On the other hand if you know anyone who is invisible, but not by choice, please, check in on them. Give them a call. Send them a card. Make sure they are ok. Be it a young adult on their own and trying to make it in the world, an elderly person who feels nobody cares anymore, or a middle aged person who might need a perk. Even if you want to be invisible you might want some company doing it.

That’s all for today. Just random thoughts.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman



And yes, you need to check out the WPaD (Writers, Poets, and Deviants) short story anthologies – available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other fine online booksellers. Don’t forget that these books are inexpensive, well written, insanely entertaining, and proceeds go to MS research. Look it up – there is everything from Romance, to Fantasy, to Horror, to Science Fiction, to Erotica, and more. There is something for everyone.



A Need You Dare Not Admit

A need you dare not admit…

People won’t admit they read poetry and are moved by it…but late at night they go on the Internet and search it out. It is like pornography. I’m dead serious (no pun intended). It is a need that most people will not dare admit to.

It isn’t a good time for me to expound upon the history of poetry or what caused the American population (among others) claim not to like poets. But I would like to remind everyone, especially those of us who can remember the past several centuries that there was a time that poets were the Rock Stars of our culture.

Sometimes I pull out my old volumes of favorites and read in the quiet of the night or on a rain soaked day. In turn, I also look for the new. I marvel at the many voices I see with poetry on the internet.

Part of me believes technology with recorded music, radio, TV etc maybe brought an end to the poet as a popular icon. But in turn the Internet, yes the Internet has brought poetry back to life.

I see in the online communities that poetry is being read, not ignored. I don’t read those words online “I don’t like poetry.” I see people who NEVER would read a poem, forwarding poetry to their friends and loved ones.

Poetry is a gift to the soul. Poetry is for everyone. Everyone needs poetry, like a vampire needs blood, like a hawk needs to fly, like a fish needs to swim. I know that wasn’t very poetic but you get the point – I hope.

Today is International Poetry Day. Why not make every day a Poetry Day?

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Both Ends

This morning, overheard between my husband Teddy and our 18 year old Clara.

Teddy: Honey, you have to stop and get some rest. Between school and work you can’t keep staying out late every night. You’re burning the candle at both ends.

Clara: What candle?


vampire teens



Online Bullies & Monsters Among The Writing Community

This is from one of my favorite writers and friend Nathan Tackett:

Ah yes, the internet – where spineless cowards bark with hateful intention. A terrible situation recently came to light where a fellow artist/author was berated with a vile string of ‘go kill yourself’ comments just because they used stock photos in their work. Guess what?! The individual actually DID try to take their life. Luckily, they didn’t succeed and are recovering.

Artists. We are a sensitive bunch and one can never tell what demons we may be fighting under the poetry and prose. I have seen several situations lately where artists have been trolled to horrible ends. We can do better.

Unfortunately, we live in an atmosphere were shit slinging is commonplace. Weak-minded creeps throw around words like ‘cuck’ and ‘snowflake’ and ‘nazi’ without a second thought. Somehow, this has become an accepted language of the new era. We can do better.

I fully support the first amendment, but I don’t support your right to be an asshole. Unfortunately, the school bully sits safely behind a virtual wall of anonymity. We can do better.

It’s time we start calling these slugs out. I support all of my artistic folk. Whether you’re a best-selling author, or an understood misfit. You can always sit next to me.

~ Nathan Tackett


Screenshot 2018-03-18 18.50.21

Thank you Nathan.


Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Dear Vampire Maman Readers,

More and more I am hearing horror stories of gangs of bully trolls out of online writing groups terrorizing authors by leaving horrible reviews on Amazon and other online book dealers. They also troll blogs, and any social media outlet they can get to. They gang up and go in like blind fire ants killing anything in their way – never thinking about what they are doing.

I have seen this happen to more than one author in my circles.

Don’t get caught up in the group-think mean mind-set. Be an ADULT. Be a professional. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be a horrible bad person. Don’t get all butt hurt over NOTHING. 


THINK before you post.

Stand up against the trolls who troll our fellow writers and artists.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

the nathan tackett

For more about Nathan Tackett’s work CLICK HERE. And for a great short story from Nathan CLICK HERE.