Monthly Archives: July 2012

Vampire Community News

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Vampire Maman will be on vacation from July 28 – August 4 to attend the Vampire Masquerade Ball, put on by the Vampire Circle.

Other Announcements:

  • There have been more sightings of Vampire Hunters and Vampire Stalkers lurking around California, Oregon and Nevada. They are especially interested in Vampire teens, college age young adults and those associated with the Circle. The weakest members of our community – new converts and reclusive old-fashioned Vampires are also at risk due to their poor judgment and inexperience.  Seminars and community meetings will be hosted in August and September.
  • If you are approached by a Vampire Hunter or suspect on in your area, please contact your nearest Circle Council Representative as soon as possible. All Circle Representatives are available 24/7.
  • As far as I know, there are no Vampires in the 2012 Olympic games. We’ll be recording the games while we’re gone. For my friends going to London – Have a blast despite the crowds!  We wish the best to the entire USA Olympic Team!
  • The Vampire Poetry Bash is still scheduled for September. A final date will be announced after the Ball.

Wishing you all a happy and safe week.

For those of you visiting the blog, please feel free to browse the over 100 postings about parenting, poetry, hunting, obsessions, and book reviews, desires and then some. Don’t forget to press “like” if you like. Feel free to comment. And please follow Vampire Maman for all of the latest musings on being a Modern Vampire Mom!

~ Juliette

Juliette’s Ultimate Parenting Musing (for both Vampires and Other Parents)

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I’m an artist to the core of my soul.  I’m a curious collector of oddities (both objects, experiences and people). I read. I discover. I write. I design. I act. I live as I wish (well, I pretend I do). And I use the word “I” a lot, or at least I used to.

Then I met a remarkable man who thought I was funny and a bit odd and a lot sexy and smart and ….I liked him a lot too because he was smart and sexy.

And that would have been fine to have stayed that way…

Until we had a child.

I never knew I could love as much as this. Both the man and the child. I never knew we could love as much.

I never knew what an amazing journey parenthood would be.

When you bring a baby or child home, whether you give birth to it or adopt it or foster or live with any child, you bring home the entire universe in a kid sized package. And something you’re never told…You NEVER know who you’re bringing home with you.

Your child is not your clone. Your child is someone with their own will and their own view – right from the start.

Throw out the baby and child care books because this little person is going to prove they’re ALL WRONG. And you’ll have more fun than you EVER imagined.

So what does a woman who muses on mom stuff teach the children in her life? 

  • Teach your children, no matter who your children are, or will become, to treasure acts of kindness.
  • Teach them that if they speak rudely to another child, they will forget it in a minute, and the other child will remember it for a lifetime.
  • Teach them the value of life and the value of love.
  • Teach them not to lie. Lies are worse than snakes – they always come back and bite you in the butt and they contain poison.
  • Teach them to learn from their mistakes.
  • Teach them to learn from the mistakes of others (if more people did that there WOULD be world peace).
  • Teach them that they ARE going to make mistakes – big ones – and that you’re always there for them (you’d better be there for them).
  • Teach them to be tough. Tough mentally and physically. We’re not living in la la land folks.
  • Tech them to love learning. Learning is a lifelong process. Like my dad used to say “If you stop learning you might as well be dead.” 
  • Teach them to play, and to keep playing even as adults.
  • Teach them to love and respect nature for it will always be a joy and they will always be amazed.
  • Teach them that it is their responsibility to take care of their environment.
  • Teach them that ignorance is a vice and knowledge is a virtue. Knowledge is power.
  • Teach them the value of friendship. Friendship is not a contest. Friendship is a lazy ride on a raft down the river. You laugh, you rescue each other, you talk until the stars come out, and you remember that trip forever, not expecting anything but to be able to be yourself, without judgement, and to not have the pressure of  judging your friend.
  • Teach them life without a sense of humor is, well, a humorless life. Who needs that?
  • Teach them to tell someone else something good about themselves every single day and MEAN IT. While your at it don’t forget hugs.
  • Teach them to smile (but don’t show your fangs). Smile a lot.
  • Teach them to pay if forward.
  • Teach them that their opinions are valued.
  • Teach them to have an active imagination – especially as they grow older.
  • Teach them that READING will take them everywhere. People who read are interesting. People who don’t…well, we won’t talk about them.
  • Teach them that people who aren’t like them are interesting. If we were all the same the world would be a very boring place.
  • And last of all teach them that they are ultimately responsible for their own actions and the consequences. Period. No exceptions. None. That’s it. 

Hugs and thanks for visiting. Don’t forget to FOLLOW the Vampire Maman BLOG for more exciting Vampire Fun (among other things). Click on “like” if you like it.

It’s going to be an exciting summer! And let me know what you’re up to! I’d love to see what you’re doing/thinking/creating/imagining too!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Petrifying Puppets At The Arcade of Arts & Arcana – from Lilly Wight

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A most amazing blog

From Lilly Wight

One of my favorite blogs!

More Petrifying Puppets At The Arcade of Arts & Arcana.

AGT Tonight AMAZING THINGS even for Vampires!

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Not a lot of time getting ready for the Vampire Ball…

But we did watch America’s Got Talent tonight and OMG there are THREE clear winners:

William Close: Amazing, Talented, Good Looking, AMAZING…did I say amazing yet? I would pay big money to see him live. I think he is the best act I’ve ever seen on the show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEb0XZOAMkA

Eric Dittleman: Nobody that isn’t a vampire can read minds like him AND he is sooooo cute (like the Olate Dogs)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phggC7P-XXw

Joe Castillo: Beauty in sand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jsh2W8ulc8w

Our three runner ups were:

  • Eric and Olma: We liked them despite what the judges said.
  • Lindsy Norton: Beautiful Young Dancer
  • Olate Dogs: Cute cute cute (the dogs and their sweet trainers)

Teddy went out with friends. I’m going to fix a cocktail, throw in a load of clothes and read one of my silly summer paranormal romance books. The kids are online voting and planning the rest of the week with their friends (it is summer after all)

Wishing you all the best from Vampire Maman!

Vampire 101 – Blood Stains

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There is a reason why a lot of vampires wear black…STAINS.

A few months ago my niece Lauren came home from college with happy stories of loving school and new friends. My brother Aaron, Lauren’s father, took her aside and said “honey, you have blood on your shirt.” It was just a few small spots but Lauren’s face turned red, or as read as a vampire can get, with embarrassment.

She’d been at a party, there was a boy. Aaron said he knew it was a boy before Lauren even spoke – he could smell it. The boy, with the name of Mason, was handsome and smart. He was the guy all the girls were drooling over. Lauren already knew him from classes and mutual friends, but they flirted and she was feeling the old vampire urges, so she kicked in the paranormal and took him aside for an hour or two. In the exchange she ended up with blood on her clothing.

Actually, it was more than just flirting. It was more than just kissing. After tears she told her parents she’d had sex with Mason and given him the hickey of a lifetime. Her parents asked if she’d been careful and assured her that there was nothing to be ashamed of. She was responsible, she did not harm her prey, was with people she trusted and she used protection. Plus she was 19 years old, almost 20, doing what responsible adult vampires do.

There are going to be stains, but in the meantime tell your young adults to plan ahead. Wear dark colors or patterns. The plaids that are popular now are perfect when you know you’ll be getting blood.

A good item to give your college bound kid (or yourself) is a laundry stain pen. Most major brands make them and they can be found in any grocery story. These handy little stain removers can easily be kept in a backpack, purse, pocket or binder.

But if you DO get a stain follow these follow these steps:

To remove blood stains from washable fabrics.

  • Spray with a stain solution such as Simple Green or any laundry pre-treatment and wash immediately in cold water.
  • Check before you put the shirt (or other whatever is stained) in the dryer. You don’t want to set a stain in that you can still remove.
  • If any stain remains, I usually soak the hell out of it overnight with OxyClean or Goof Off spray. If you don’t want to do that then soak it in a solution of 1 quart warm water, 1­/2 teaspoon dishwashing or liquid laundry detergent, and 1 tablespoon ammonia for 15 minutes.
  • For excess solid or caked-on stains, scrape off what you can, scrub gently with a soft brush or clean sponge, blotting occasionally until the stain is gone.

To remove blood stains from leather or suede:

  • Mix a solution of mild soap in lukewarm water. Dish soap works well. You want a lot of suds.
  • Apply only the foam with a sponge and gently rub the stained area, taking care not to spread the stain. Q-tips work great for this.
  • Wipe dry with a clean soft cloth. If all else fails take it in to get it professionally cleaned.

Silver

It may seem romantic and daring to the younger vampires to use silver goblets to drink blood from but DON’T DO IT. Not only is it hard to clean but it is TACKY. But what if your college aged child gets carried away with the moment. Wash right after use. Dried blood will cause some nasty tarnish. Better yet, tell your kids NOT to use silver with blood – especially not YOUR silver. If the stains are difficult get out the polish and elbow grease and MAKE YOUR KID DO THE WORK and polish those stains out.

Previous articles: We’ll discuss how to resist the urge and be a politically correct vampire. As a rule we are polite and civil to a fault but some so-called vegan vampires are going too far.

~ Juliette

 

 

Terms for Weird Vampire Teens – Keeping Vampire Teen Reputations Safe!

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Modern Vampire Teens, just like other teens, have their own revolving terms describing other teens, especially the weird ones. In order to stay safe and protect your teen’s reputation, talk to him/her/them about the following “types”.

 

Random Sucker

Hit and run hunter who takes quick bites at dances, sporting events, parties and even during break between classes.

This is just rude and TACKY. Don’t do it or you’ll get a bad reputation. Nobody likes an out of control teen Vampire (compare it to excessive masturbation or binge eating).

Blood Bitch

A regular human girl, usually one who is slutty or with low esteem, that Vampire boys will hook up with and keep around at his beck and call, with the sole purpose of sucking her blood.

 

What can I say about this one?  Sit your Vampire boy down and read him the rules. No girl, even if she is a slut, deserves to be used. We must at all times teach our teens to respect their blood sources and treat them with dignity.  That is part of being a self-respecting modern 21st Century Vampire.

Creeper Vamp

A Vampire who becomes obsessed with everything regular-human. These teens are found lurking around humans and often pick out a group to stalk. Girl Vampires often will pick a popular human boy and follow him night and day. Creeper Vamps also tend to do the black clothes and pale face thing (we’re so over that so please don’t do it is you have any self respect).

Don’t do it. Not only is it rude and TACKY, it is dangerous and immature.

 

Zompires

Vampire teens who are obsessed with Zombies and death to the point they think they might truly be undead.

Most are fearful and clinically depressed. Please, if you spot any Vampire teens in this state of mind PLEASE get them help immediately.  This is not normal, not common and not natural.

Dead Zoner

A Vampire teen that has unhealthy romantic ideas about the dead. This includes the desire to attend funerals, hang out at hospitals and roam cemeteries at night.  This includes the desire to sleep in a coffin.

Harold and Maude is a cute movie but you don’t want your kids using it as a role model. Monitor their popular reading and talk to your kids.  Living in La La land is ok for regular human teens – and we hope they’ll grow out of it. Living in La La land for Vampires is dangerous, plus it just makes you look like an ignorant fool (the last thing any self respecting Vampire teen needs).

Wolfer

A vampire teen that excessively bad talks other non-regular humans, especially Werewolf teens.

We all know that Werewolf teens have a rough go of it. While it is not up to Vampire Teens to be their friends, it IS up to Vampire Teens to stick up for and protect Werewolf teens both physically and socially when necessary. It’s just the right thing to do.