Ask Juliette: A Mysterious Romantic Sonnet, and Keeping Track of Grandpa

Ask Juliette – Ask a Vampire is a regular Thursday feature on here at If you have questions about romance, parenting, relationships, vampires, work, pets, goblins, road trips, school, rollerskating, or anything, and I mean anything, email me at juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com

girl and her dog

Dear Juliette,

I think the friend I hold most dearly has sent an anonymous message in which he declares his love for me (in the form of a sonnet, no less!) to the messages page in our university (people often send messages in the form of “X, you’re so pretty, do you kiss ladies?”, or pleading for relationship advice, or musing about life). I’m not sure, because the author didn’t leave a contact, though everything points at my friend being the writer: the way it’s written, the temporal markings, the fact that the author wrote the sonnet in an old-fashioned way because modern poetry irritates him, how most of it was written at night, but, specially, how the author refers to the lady he loves – his “eternal ‘milady'”. My friend often refers to me as “milady” when we chat on Facebook.
I’m at a loss regarding what to do. Should I respond to that message by sending another message to that page, addressing the author in a way no one else does? Should I send him a message? Should I ask him personally when I have the chance (since he moved back to his hometown after a few incidents here)? Should I phone him about it? What would you suggest?

~ Milady


Dear Milady,

That is so sweet. I wish I could see the sonnet, but I understand if you wish to keep it private.

So many unanswered questions. Do you feel the same about him? Do you not feel the same? Are you excited about this? Incidents? Is he an odd bird who got into trouble at school?

I’ll give you some options.
Option 1

If you like the guy, and you know it is him then call him, not by shouting off of the roof, but with your phone. Be friendly. Be a little coy. Say, “hey, did you write that sweet sonnet?”

If you’re pretty sure it is him, AND you like him in that way, then CALL HIM.

Option 2

If he says he did not write it then tell him that you think it is odd and ask him if he has any ideas. Don’t over talk it.

You could post back a nice note but I’d recommend you keep your response private.

Option 3

If you don’t like him romantically write him a private note telling him that it is sweet, AND that you are surprised. At least let him know how you feel. Don’t lead him on. Don’t be mean or sarcastic. Let him say his bit before you blow him off, or make him feel blown off.

Option 4

If he is a weird creeper guy who you don’t want to deal with then just ignore it. Don’t fuel any unwanted fire. Love is strange and blind sometimes. Proceed with caution. Don’t get involved with a guy because you feel sorry for him.

Option 5

If it wasn’t your friend then you might want to ask around and find out who it is. Or just wait and see if someone else admits he is the poet.

True story: I knew my husband before we got involved. Then one night we talked for three hours and I knew he was the one. So I wrote him a letter. It was kind of a pre-love letter. I didn’t expect him to contact me. I didn’t call him. I just waited. Two weeks later he called me. It has been over 20 years and we’re still in love. Yes, it happens. If you do really like him then tell him. You don’t want to find yourself thirty years from now wishing you had.

If you say nothing – nothing will happen. If you speak up then anything and everything could happen.

~ Juliette


Ask Juliette

Dear Juliette,

I’m writing you because you frequently write about your experiences with teens, husbands, and senior citizens.  Today while in the waiting room of my doctor’s office I saw little old ladies come in with the wrong time or date for their appointments. They both mentioned drivers who were going to pick them up, etc. It was a mess. I know my own elderly dad does this all the time. I’ve taken him to appointments on the wrong day more than once. My kids and husband do the same thing. We write things on calendars, but nobody looks at them. The kids put schedules in their smart phones but nobody can see them. How can I keep my family on schedule without going crazy?

~ Busy Mom.


Dear Busy Mom,

I feel for you. We were going crazy with the exact same issue. Calendar’s are small. Older folks (Eleora and Tellias, and even Lola) don’t know how to use technology and smart phones. Kids forget to tell us stuff. Don’t even get me started on husbands. When I ask my husband about an event or appointment he says something like, “it is two weeks past last Thursday.” Like I’m going to figure that one out much less remember it.

I finally got a wipe board, the kind with the dry erase markers. EVERYTHING goes on that board. No event or appointment is left off of it in BIG BOLD LETTERS. It is in the kitchen (not an office or bedroom) so everybody sees it. I just yell “LOOK AT THE BOARD.”

Get a wipe board. Get assorted dry erase markers. Any office supply store, or Target has them. Sure, you’ll still have to remind everyone about everything over and over and over, but this will help a lot. AND tell everyone DO NOT USE SHARPIES or anything other than dry erase markers on the board.

~ Juliette


This is not my bed. I don't sleep in a box.


Dear Juliette,

Do Vampires ever die?

~ Curious


Dear Curious,

Yes. Eventually everybody dies.

~ Juliette



Dear Juliette,

What do you think of revenge sex?

~ Night Lady


Dear Night Lady,

Not much. It is a classless act.

~ Juliette



Ask Juliette – Ask A Vampire is a regular Thursday feature on here Vampire Maman. If you have questions about romance, relationships, vampires, work, pets, goblins, road trips, school, rollerskating, or anything, and I mean anything, email me at juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com

Have fun.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman




3 thoughts on “Ask Juliette: A Mysterious Romantic Sonnet, and Keeping Track of Grandpa

  1. This was another interesting post with you answering some great questions. I just would like to ask something else. You do reply that eventually everybody dies, even Vampires. It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I think about Elinora and Tellas. They are thousands of years old… Not that I want him dead! Far from it… but when vampires die, do they just “fall asleep” and never wake up? Would I imagine this to be a “natural vampire death” – or are vampires “usually” killed?

    • Sometimes they do fall asleep and never wake up, but they also (more often than not) get their heads cut off, hearts cut out, or burned to death. Being a vampire isn’t as easy as people think. I gloss over most of the icky details on this blog. Vampire hunters, demons, fallen angels, and all sorts of ugly things are out there and ready to do away with vampires. Nobody knows how long a vampire will live. We’re sort of like Bristle Cone Pines – some barely make it out of the seed stage and others go on seemingly forever, but then again, nobody knows how long “forever” is either. It is all a mystery.


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