Burning Question #55: Cleaning House

A while back I decided to post 50 Burning Questions. When that ended I couldn’t figure out what to do next. I tried Cat-ur-day posts. That was fun. Everybody likes cats. I also tried a few other random things. Unfortunately nothing stuck with me. Nothing seemed right, or fun, or funny. Then my dear readers started telling me that they missed the intellectual challenges and brain acrobatics of a new Burning Question each Saturday.

Welcome to An Infinite Amount of Burning Questions.

Well, this kind of sucks… really… keep reading.

My neighbors run their leaf blowers so much that I thought about turning on my shop vac next time I leave the house and just letting it run for the noise. My husband suggested I also run a leaf blower, a chain saw, and a belt sander. Just put them on the deck and turn them on – for hours and hours and hours.

It is Saturday and I’ll be out sweeping (what a novel idea) up leaves, and all of the bark in my yard the deer and turkeys have spread all over the place. Mind you, this is landscaping bark that I put down around plants to make my lawnless front yard look nice. The turkeys have a field day digging in it and throwing it around like so many frat boy topless girl pillow fight fantasy sequences.

Inside the house is another story. About a year ago I got a new vacuum cleaner. It was supposed to be made especially for animal fur. I think it was made for hairless cats, not my  constantly shedding dog and cats. I have to vacuum a minimum every other day to keep it under control, and even then it isn’t quite enough. And don’t tell me that YOU vacuum every single day. I know you don’t. If you do there is something wrong with you.

By the way, my 87 pound German Shepard is deathly afraid of vacuum cleaners. Whenever she sees anyone even move our vacuum cleaner she hides. So much for having a large dog to protect our home. I think the noise hurts her ears – kind of like leaf blowers hurt my soul.

Burning Question #55: If a vacuum cleaner really sucks, is that good?

By the way, I always wear heels when I vacuum (said no woman EVER.)

I’ll be happier with a gin and tonic, sweat pants, and no shoes.

I’ll see you next Saturday for another BURNING QUESTION.

Leave a comment, or a question, or just say hello in the comment section below.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


  1. “I think it was made for hairless cats, not my constantly shedding dog and cats.” 😆 Some vacuums are definitely like that. There was this one time my mom bought a vacuum cleaner. It was called The Boss and it was supposed to be the most awesome creature in vacuuming history. It also was apparently designed to vacuum nothing bigger than dust mites, because everything bigger than that would rattle its brain.

    “I think the noise hurts her ears – kind of like leaf blowers hurt my soul.” Hahaha! Maybe she thinks it’s a leaf blower that managed to infiltrate the house. 😀

    1. Vacuum cleaners for reptile owners. What’s a scale here and there, or shedding skin?

      I’ve see all kinds of videos on YouTube of German Shepard Dogs barking at vacuum cleaners and biting at them. I guess mine hiding saves on the wear and tear.

  2. Ugh. 🙂

    When my first born had colic (he’s 14 now) I used to turn on the vacuum for the white noise that made him stop screaming. When he was an infant I vacuumed a lot (although not in heels, and with leaky breasts). Today I pawned it off on him, to vacuum something. Anything. . It doesn’t really happen. Hah.

    1. My daughter saw your comment and mentioned how a lot of moms vacuum to quiet their babies. White noise. Ahhhh leaky breasts – I remember those days well. I was in an overly long business meeting and started to see the wet spots form on my shirt. Ugh.
      Thank for your comment, and keep that boy cleaning. He’ll make a good roomie when he goes off to college. If you clean your roommates will cook for you and let you have the best parking spot.

  3. Yeah – those vacuum cleaners specifically created for pet hair. ROFL I got one of these too and hell I got cotton balls stuffed into my ears while using it. Additionally, I think the second time I vacuumed while the cats were hiding under the bed, the vacuum cleaner decided it’s fed up with cat hair and doesn’t have to suck in anything else anymore. I’m asking myself if it ever will change its mind again. HAHA
    However, you are definitely right, I don’t vacuum clean every day. That would be ridiculous. But OF COURSE, I’m wearing the highest heels I have to vacuum clean! After all, I’m living on the first floor and to every man passing by and watching me taking my housework serious, I want to look at least sexy, right? (Even though I admit, vacuum cleaning in my birth-suite might already be enough sexiness for one look. *giggle*)

    1. The off thing is that my 14 year old calico cat has never been afraid of vacuum cleaners. She just sits in her chair and watches, then falls asleep and starts to snore. She knows it won’t hurt her. Why take the effort to move for something you can’t eat?

      Most of the hair belongs to the dog. The cat fur gets barfed up in hairballs. Oh joy.

      OMG your comment did make me laugh out loud. The idea of housecleaning of any kind naked or in heels is so uncomfortable to me.

      1. That’s the reason, why I permit every passing guy a look at me in high heels, birth-suite and vacuum cleaner only once every six or seven years. I doubt they could take that one more often. *giggle*

  4. This is probably the first time I chose the “Burning question, I have no answer” choice. It’s kind of a paradox…. you know, one of those things that can unravel the entire space-time continuum… which I believe is the only other double-U (not W) word other than vacuum.

    1. Good points there. Oh wow. I didn’t even think of the ramifications. Unfortunately I failed to add a mermaid answer. I don’t think they vacuum anything. Of course living in a vacuum is another thing all together.

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