Vampire Roadtrip

Kids are going to be who they’re going to be. You never know who you’re going to give birth to. But I can say I definitely gave birth to my daughter. She doesn’t look like me but we are so much alike. We’ve been on the road for 5 days and it has been a riot. I mean that in a fun way, not a destructive breaking windows and looting way. Anyway…today we arrived in Las Vegas.

It is HOT and blazing Hell-like sunny. Hence, I sit in the cool and dark writing this because I’ve had way too much exposure and risked frying myself to a crisp and going into some sort of heat related Vampire coma. But we’re now In Las Vegas – where the night will come and the sky will be awash in lights and life and a regular feast for the eyes – and a feast for Vampires.

We’re sending the kids off to the water park tonight. A regular buffet for hungry Vampire teens and talk about “fast food”.  And it is fun. Hey, if anyone tells you Vampires don’t have fun they’re wrong. Vampire teens always know how to have fun. Fun is their code.

For the adults there are other entertainments and other places to dine. Many more places.

My dear friend Amelia lives in Las Vegas with her daughter and husband. Amelia and I were both born the same year (1859) and have known each other since we were the same ages as our daughters (14).

Amelia stretched out her long legs in her ultra modern and cool living room and gave me one of “those looks”. “Guess who is back in town?”

I could feel my lip twitch in disgust. I knew who she was talking about. It was Don. Disgusting Don who gives all Modern Vampires and all Males of any species a bad name. Ugh. I swore that last time I saw him that I’d kill him. Not nice, but he is lower than a roach in my book. He’d abuse the lower forms of Vampire women and Regular Humans as well. He was scum. He needed to go away. Amelia and I decided that WE were going to make him go away.

I could just see him in a shiny black suit, a silver shirt unbuttoned down the front, gold chains, dark hair slicked back, 8 diamond rings and just a hint of eyeliner.

Of course there was the scent that clung to the air as he passed by – a mixture of blood, lemons and sandalwood. Made me want to barf.

Amelia and I had come across him in the 1930’s. He’d gone to Europe from the dust bowl as a Regular Human and returned a Vampire. Not the kind of person we like to see being turned into a Vampire. There were repercussions but Don, unfortunately, was spared and has spent the past 80 years spreading his slime across the world only make a poisoned snail like trail between Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

At various times over the years, he’d stalked me and tried to drag me into his nasty lair. The guy had no idea what he was dealing with. My husband Teddy and brother Max hunted him down and dropped him down a mine shaft where we stayed for over a year, only to be rescued by one of his pathetic little Vampire sluts. These are not Modern Vampires, but Vampire cockroaches of the lowest order. Vampire Trash. The idea of them makes my skin crawl. And even worse, he attracts Vampire Hunters – the kind who make no distinction between scum like Don and the rest of us. Damn it. I wish they’ll thrown a fire bomb down that well when they had the chance.

In the meantime, Amelia and I discussed what we’re going to do tonight. Maybe go to a few clubs. We’d put on our little black dresses and heels and have some grown-up fun.

I suggested cocktails but Amelia just smiled and said “Why not just go straight for the jugular.”

And perhaps, as long as we’re solving all the problems of the world, we’ll do a little Vampire hunting of our own. Watch out Don, if Amelia and I get our way this might be your last night in Vegas.

Now that sounds like a fun night out.

Wishing you all fun, no matter what you’re doing or who you’re doing it with.

I’ll keep you updated on what happens with Don the cockroach later tonight or tomorrow.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman