Glue Slugs, Teens and the Realities of Modern Vampire Parenting

Most people think Vampire teens live in a Harry Potterish world where the teens live in castle-like Hogwartish schools and earn their first red lined capes. They think every bit is schooling is something kids can sink their teeth into. They think it is all black and dripping blood and castles and dark nights with bats and cobwebs. Think again.

Our kids go to public schools (same public high school that writer Nicholas Sparks and singer Lynn Anderson went to) and live at home with their parents. They go out during the day (with lots of sun screen and protection for their eyes). They don’t wear capes. Black shirts are the same black shirts all the kids get from Hot Topics.

The push for the Modern Vampire movement came around 1800 when the ideals of mankind and the human experience began to change. People were thinking more of freedom, freewill, individualism and personal choice. Tradition was no longer the way of the future. The world was changing and a few free spirited Vampires wanted to change with it.

Vampires were tired of being “in the dark”. Granted we still had to keep secrets but the days of lurking in dark gloomy places were over. No more lurking. We took on a more kinder gentler philosophy of “helping” regular humans rather than harming them. Yes, we still be scary – really really really scary but that is another blog post another day.

The California Gold Rush symbolized a huge change in culture. My parents along with a contingency of Vampires from all over the United States, Canada and Europe came to California to make a new life and a new culture of Modern Vampires. Those in the forefront of the California movement were my parents, Nathaniel Chase, Alphonso and Diana Chase, the Elders Tellias and Eleora and Thomas Kent.

At the same time Vampires in England and Boston were making changes to become more modern and free of the old chains that kept them literally in the dark. Anyway, again, that isn’t what this post is about.

My daughter had to make a model of a habitat for science. I thought in 8th grade they’d be done with models but I was wrong. So at the 11th hour she was trying to glue rocks together to make an octopus cave.

Glue does not attach to rocks – at least not the rocks in our yard. She used white glue and then the glue gun. This was after I said 100 times “don’t get glue on the carpet”.  We ended up with about two dozen glue slugs. Those were the odd creatures that fell off of the rocks we’d tried to glue together. Eventually between the glue gun, the white glue and adding dirt and paper the child figured out how to make it work. It worked quite well.  But that said, I know I’ll be finding glue slugs all over the house for the next year. Stuff like that just seems to migrate.

So needless to say modern Vampire life isn’t like a movie. The only thing that drips much is glue or vases with cracks in them (another story I won’t go into today) or nail polish. Live with a teen girl and there WILL be nail polish spilled.

Spilled milk? Forget that – spilled nail polish always makes me want to cry. At least you can wipe up milk. You can wipe up blood and keep it from staining if you get it early enough. Try wiping up nail polish. Especially black nail polish.  (Simple Green works great on blood and red wine.)

There are bigger things to like visiting colleges in the state and starting to put together dozens of applications. Good grades, leadership and volunteer work are no longer guarantees to getting into anywhere. Living in the state where the public university resides is no longer a guarantee either (then what the HELL have I been paying taxes for all these years?)

In the fall one is starting high school too so there are all those bits and pieces to deal with. Summer is already starting to book up solid with events for school and sports and must-go-to-concerts, and of course books I need to finish (writing not reading.)

To add to this flurry of activity are the Vampire parenting things that other folks don’t have to deal with. We need to teach the teens how to be responsible with their donors and how to hunt. Earlier this year we had seminars in avoiding Vampire Hunters. I’ve covered the whole “Men in Black” issues with them. And there are always Time Travelers, Ghosts, Goblins and a variety of other nasty creatures we have to deal with. No relaxing for the Vampire parents.

They are watching out for their sometimes socially awkward Werewolf friends. Werewolf kids are in the same situation but sometimes their problems are more difficult (the full moon and body hair thing).

So last night after I pulled a glue slug off of my bare foot I was just thinking of stuff. You know, just mom stuff. That’s all.

Have a good weekend everyone. And don’t forget to HUG those teens of yours and TALK with your kids and laugh too. Always laugh.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

6 thoughts on “Glue Slugs, Teens and the Realities of Modern Vampire Parenting

  1. Pingback: Glue Slugs, Teens and the Realities of Modern Vampire Parenting | West Coast Review

  2. glue slugs! I love it. Not finding them everywhere but the whole idea. We had the episode of “I can make my own mac and cheese, honest, I won’t make a mess.” I am still finding macaroni all over the kitchen and it’s been months.

  3. Pingback: Bring on the Karken…but do it with style. | Vampire Maman

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