Ask Juliette (Dear Juliette – Ask A Vampire) is a regular Thursday feature here at vampiremaman.com
Real answers for real readers (you think I make this crap up?)
Q: My husband and I have been fighting with my sister-in-law for four years since their father died, over simple estate matters that could have been easily resolved if everyone had worked together. What is it about death that turns ordinary people into monsters and turns siblings against each other?
A. There are a lot of reasons people act nasty after someone dies, and none of them are good reasons. Old resentments live on long after death.
Sometimes siblings feel entitled. They feel as though they deserve more than the other siblings for various reasons (or no reason.) Or sometimes somebody else feels that because they are more “successful” or “educated” they are entitled to be in charge. And some people are just nasty to begin with.
It is incredibly sad how someone can let their own ego get in the way, ruin the memory of a loved one, and tear their own family apart.
My advice has always been for each person to take a few small things they want and have a third-party auction everything else off.
This is a cautionary tale for everyone to make sure they have a will and a family trust so their heirs won’t be fighting over who gets what. That includes making of list of heirlooms and who gets what (post it notes don’t cut it – it has to be a formal list.)
Or I could give you a typical Vampire answer and say “Stab em in the neck.”
Q: A guy I like has a good job, his own place, cleans up after himself, is funny, cute and sexy. So what’s the problem? He writes fiction. I’ve read his work and he is really good but he has only had a few short stories published. Is this normal or should I write him off as a out of touch dreamer.
A: Maybe he needs to write you off as out of touch. People write for a lot of reasons. You should consider yourself lucky to be with a creative guy. Life will never be boring, of course unless he gets bored with you.
Q: I’m a successful widowed middle-aged guy with two sons in college. My girlfriend is successful, middle-aged widow with a daughter in college. I was drawn to her for her sense of humor and intelligence. My son’s love her and talk with her for hours. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun with anyone in my life. I was recently looking for some ibuprofen at her home and found prescription antidepressants in her medicine cabinet. When I confronted her about it she said it was no big deal. She said it is just a minor thing, like a chemical imbalance. She said she’d been depressed for no reason since her teens, and got weepy about every little thing. The drugs stopped it and made her feel “normal” again. She said she could function without the drugs but didn’t like having to fight with the depression coming on at any given moment. Should I be concerned about mental health issues down the road. I love her but I don’t want to be stuck with someone ready to go off the deep end.
A: Your girlfriend is fine. She saw a problem. She got help. Don’t worry about it. Be happy she recognized her depression and got help. You said she is a success and your kids love her. Wow, I mean, how wonderful is that? Now call her up and tell her how much you love her.
Q. Why do Vampires always wear black.
A. We don’t always wear black. OK, we do a lot, but everyone wears black (at least those of us who are hip and with it.)
Q: How do I get rid of feelings of guilt. I think I hurt someone who overheard me saying something out of context. It wasn’t about him, but he might have thought it was. Do I say something?
A: I don’t know. This is one of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t moments. Either way it could heat up, back fire, blow up, get uncomfortable, or just make you want to crawl into a hole. Life can be a bitch. Of course if you’re a Vampire you just move on. If you’re a regular person you suffer. Eventually you might want to explain it, but choose your words carefully. Sorry I couldn’t help you more with that one.
Q: Every time I’m with my girlfriend I feel like she has eaten my brain. Our sex life is great and my friends all like her and tell me she is the one, but she is so demanding. She wants to spend every night with me, but we always have to be doing something. She never wants to just hang out. Some nights, after a long day at work I just want to watch TV or play on the computer. I don’t always feel like entertaining someone. It would be nice if she could just sit with me and do nothing. I’m going to go broke financially and emotionally.
A. She obviously isn’t the one for you. She sounds needy and high maintenance. Nobody needs that.
We all need our own space and our down time. If she can’t respect that then it just isn’t going to work. Tell her you need your space. If she refuses to understand and says stupid things like, “I guess you don’t love me,” then dump her. Seriously, you need someone who isn’t so needy.
Well folks, that is all for this week. Now that I’m emotionally exhausted from answering all of these questions I’m going to take my pup out for a walk.
Ask Juliette is a regular Thursday feature here at Vampiremaman.com
If you have questions about anything from Alligators to Zombies just ask and I’ll try to answer.
Send your questions to juliettevampiremom@gmail dot com
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman