Burning Question #21: Legal Age

 


brewing trouble

In honor of the Burning Question #21 we’re going to be thinking about booze.

Some of us drink alcohol. Some of us don’t. Either way, alcohol, be it beer, wine, or hard liquor is part of our world. But how does it all play out if you’re a Vampire? You might not drink, but your drink might drink. How will that play out in the course of a night? Do you care? Or is that something you seriously consider when you’re looking for your next donor?

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Burning Question #21: If a Vampire drinks blood from an inebriated person will the Vampire become inebriated as well?

 

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I’ll see you all next week for another Burning Question.  In the meantime enjoy one of Teddy’s classic Vampire Cocktails.

Bloody Talent

3 parts Vegetable Juice Cocktail
2 parts Vodka (I use the kind in the blue bottle)
1 part blood
A dash of lemon juice
A dash of lime juice
A dash of hot sauce
A dash of orange juice (just a dash)
A splash of good gin (the blue or green bottle)
3 large green olives (stuffed with whatever you like)
And add a pickled green bean if you like. Might as well.

Pour over ice!

Thank you Teddy!

If you’re not a Vampire leave out the blood.

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And remember, if you’re going to drink or drink blood from someone who is drunk don’t drive.

OK everybody let’s dance.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Savory Vampire Cocktails – or – You Can Have Your Bacon and Drink It Too!

When the weather cools down our entertaining schedule picks up. That means Teddy (my fabulous, handsome, witty and delightful husband) is making his more savory cocktails.

By savory I mean nothing too sweet and specifically drinks with a little meat in them (and blood of course for the Vampire versions.) Some are based on beef broth and others are infused with bacon.

Also, don’t forget to cook with booze. It gives taste and tenderizes food. Plus (for those of you who don’t drink) the alcohol cooks off. Adding a beer to your slow cooker chili will make it fantastic but you won’t get drunk off of it.

 

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Forget the fruit and the fluff.

We’re going for the hard stuff.

 

That’s No Bull Shot

  • 2 ounces vodka
  • 2 oz blood
  • 1/4 fresh squeezed lemon juice
  • 1/2-cup of cold beef concentrate
  • 2-6 dashes of Tabasco or other hot sauce to taste
  • A dash of ground pepper
  • A dash of cayenne pepper
  • A dash of kosher salt

Instructions:

Shake all ingredients in a shaker with liberal amounts of ice. Garnish with a slice of lemon.

Note: If you’re not a Vampire leave out the blood.

 

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Bloody Bovine

  • 2 oz vodka
  • 4 oz of V8 or Trader Joe’s Vegetable Cocktail Juice
  • 4 oz chilled beef concentrate
  • 4 oz blood
  • 1 tsp of peeled and finely grated fresh horseradish (If you don’t have fresh use the kind in the jar. Don’t use the cream horse radish sauce because it will be disgusting.)
  • A pinch celery salt
  • 2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
  • 3 dashes of Tabasco Sauce or more to taste
  • A liberal sprinkle of ground pepper
  • 1/4 oz fresh lemon juice (just squeeze in a few wedges)
  • And a big green olive or two. Try a blue cheese stuffed one.

Instructions:

Combine everything over ice in a big glass (or two if you want to share). Stir. Ganish with a long piece of fresh red bell pepper.

Note: If you’re not a Vampire leave out the blood.

 

Now Let’s Talk BACON

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It’s all about the bacon. And the news is good.

You can now have your bacon and drink it too.

 

How to make Bacon Washed Booze.

 

You can add bacon flavor to vodka, whiskey or broubon. And it is easy. AND best of all you’ll get to eat the bacon.

This is fantastic in a Bloody Ceasar or Bloody Mary.

 

Bacon Washed Booze

Ingredients:

  • 1 pound good quality bacon
  • 26 ounces vodka, whiskey or bourbon (some people like to use rum too. I say go for it.)
  • 2 quart Mason jars
  • Fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth and funnel
  1. Fry up your bacon on low heat until nicely crisp but not charred. You don’t want to burn it. Pour fat from the pan into a heat-safe bowl (like a Pyrex bowl).
  2. Remove bacon strips and put them on a plate that’s covered with a paper towel. Let stand for five minutes.
  3. Pour alcohol of your choice into a large mason jar.
  4. When the bacon has cooled slightly, add strips into the Mason jar with the alcohol. Pour bacon fat into the jar as well. Let jar stand at room temperature for four hours and stir mixture every hour. Remove the bacon strips (but not the fat)
  5. Put the jar into the freezer overnight. The fat will solidify and rise to the top, scrape as much fat out of the jar as possible.
  6. Using a fine-mesh strainer pour vodka from one jar to a new empty mason jar. The strainer should catch lots of bacon fat and other stuff.
  7. Wash the original jar used and train the bacon infused alcohol one more time into the now clean and empty Mason jar. Enjoy.

 

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Make a dry Bacon Martini and garnish with a strip of bacon. Or try a Smokey Vampire. Yum.

 The Smokey Vampire

  • 2 oz. Bacon Infused Bourbon (or Whiskey)
  • 1/4 oz. maple syrup
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • Orange juice (just a bit)
  • Blood (just a bit)

In mixing glass, stir 2 ounces bacon-infused bourbon, maple syrup, and bitters with ice. Strain into chilled rocks glass filled with ice. Garnish with bacon and if you want add a splash of orange juice and blood.

Note: If you’re not a Vampire leave out the blood.

 

You gotta love a drinking chimp.

You gotta love a drinking chimp.

 

A word of caution: You can use the bacon booze for just about anything but Teddy advises NOT mixing it with tonic water. Nasty nasty nasty. Save your tonic water for your good gin without the bacon.

 

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Party on Vampires but REMEMBER don’t drink and drive.

Elections and parenting and cats and stupid people and especially stupid Vampires are enough to drive anyone to drink – BUT don’t. Drink to enjoy the flavors and relax and never too much. And of course, never drink and drive (or ride a horse or bicycle while drinking and never drink while rollerskating.) Really, don’t drink and drive. It isn’t worth it.

 

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I just added this one for kicks and grins. You know, the whole Blood and Sand thing. All girls (and some boys) love Valentino, who might… or might not be a Vampire now.

So welcome in the cooler weather (except for my friends in the Southern Hemisphere then have a great summer) with open arms. Don’t bring in the holidays with stress but with a quiet joy. Let go of the crap and start some new traditions. If you don’t like someone don’t spend the holidays with them – give that to yourself as a gift you always wanted.

So cheers! Teddy and I will be bringing you more holiday fun for Thanksgiving, including wine and food and Vampire fun.

xoxoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

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Friday the 31st – Kiss a Black Cat (and cocktails)

Black kitty catToday is Friday the 31st.

That is 13 backwards.

So in Vampire culture that means you will get thirteen times the good luck and none of the bad.

So go kiss a black cat and make sure you have enough limes for cocktails tonight.

Note: If you don’t have a black cat any cat will do. Also don’t forget to kiss the Vampire.

NEVER forget to kiss the Vampire!

 

 

Vampire Head Rush

  • 2 oz Bourbon
  • 12 oz Dark Beer (Teddy Suggests something like Downtown Brown)
  • 2 oz Blood
  • Pour all in a tall glass over ice.

Clara calls it a head rush because she says it looks like something out of a toilet. Middle School humor.

Oh well. 

If you aren’t a vampire leave out the blood.

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Werewolf on the Rocks

  • 3 oz Bourbon
  • Splash of dry Vermouth
  • Splash of Orange Juice
  • A twist of lemon peel
  • Pour over frozen blood balls (ice cubes made from blood poured and frozen in cute little shapes)

If you aren’t a vampire make ice cubes out of orange or cranberry juice (yum).

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Vampire Iced Tea

  • 1 gallon water
  • 12-15 tea bags – any flavor you want. We like a nice strong black tea with a touch of fruit in it. Lady Earl Gray works well. Put tea bags and water in a jar. Put it outside in the sun for about 2-3 hours to brew. Don’t put it on the grass – it won’t get hot enough. A drive way or deck works best.
  • 1 jar (32 oz) of unsweetened Cranberry Juice (we like Trader Joes)
  • 12 oz blood
  • Artificial sweetener of your choice to taste (remember dear human visitors that we don’t handle sugar well)
  • Mix it all up and pour over ice with a sprig of mint and a sprig of rosemary.
  • Adults – add a large slosh of Vodka or Bourbon to the mix for some extra punch to this punch!

If you aren’t a vampire replace the blood with more cranberry juice, orange juice or more vodka.

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Vampire Nuts

Kids and adults like this mix. If teen boys are around I usually triple the recipe.

  • 1½ cup hazelnuts (roasted)
  • ½ cup pumpkin seeds (roasted)
  • 1 cup whole cashews (roasted)
  • 1/2 cup walnuts halves or pieces (roasted)
  • 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh sage
  • 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh thyme leaves
  • 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
  • 2 tablespoons Grade A maple syrup
  • ¾ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 teaspoon sea salt
  • ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 tsp powered blood (optional – be I recommend – it adds a bit of bite to the nuts)

1. Preheat the oven to 400°. In a medium bowl, combine the hazelnuts, pumpkin seeds, cashews, sage, thyme, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, sea salt and black pepper. Spread the mixture on a baking sheet or stone (I like using my stone) and place in the oven. Bake, stirring occasionally, until browned and fragrant, about 15 minutes.

2. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool slightly. Serve warm or at room temperature.

If you aren’t a vampire leave out the powdered blood.

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And the perfect cocktail to go with those nuts is…

Nocturnal Summer Cooler

  • 6 limes
  • 1 cup packed mint leaves, no stems, plus 6 sprigs for garnish
  • 3 unwaxed cucumbers
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 2 cups gin (we like the kind in the green bottle)
  • 1 cup purified blood
  • Sparkling water

1. Thinly slice 3 limes and place in a pitcher. Juice the rest and add juice to pitcher. Add mint leaves. Slice 2 cucumbers and add, then add sugar. Stir. Add gin. Place in refrigerator  30 minutes or longer.

2. Peel remaining cucumber and cut lengthwise into 6 spears.

3. Fill 6 highball or other large glasses with ice. Strain mixture from pitcher into each. Top with a splash of sparkling water, garnish each glass with a sprig of mint and a cucumber spear, and serve. You can also garnish with a sprig of rosemary for a more savory taste.

If you aren’t a vampire replace the blood with your favorite juice (we like cranberry or blueberry)

And as always, don’t drink and drive!

Vampire Guide to Cocktails (cold weather drinks for adults).

Cocktails are in order.

From time to time, especially on weekends my husband Teddy likes to make cocktails – lovely mixed drinks for adults.

 

Vampire Coffee

The Irish Cream is a splurge – leave it out if you are concerned with extra sugar (as many Vampires are)

  • 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish cream liqueur (try the hazelnut flavored)
  • 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish whiskey
  • 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger Blood
  • 1 cup hot brewed coffee
  • 1 tablespoon whipped cream (we prefer unsweetened)
  • 1 dash ground nutmeg

Note: if you are not a Vampire leave out the blood.

Mix together in large mug. Serve hot. One serving.

Vampire Hot Tropics

  • 1 fluid ounce dark rum
  • 1 fluid ounce coffee flavored liqueur
  • 8 fluid ounces hot coffee
  • 1/2 fluid ounce blood
  • ½ fluid ounce half/half
  • 1 maraschino cherry

Note: If you aren’t a Vampire leave out the blood.

Mix together in large mug. Serve hot. One serving.

Hot Teddy

  • 2 fluid ounces boiling water
  • 1 1/2 fluid ounces whiskey
  • 3 whole cloves
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 1 slice lemon
  • 1 pinch ground nutmeg
  • A teaspoon of honey to taste

Mix all together in mug. Serve hot. One serving.

Vampire City Cocktail

  • 1 fluid ounce sweet vermouth
  • 3 fluid ounces bourbon whiskey
  • 2 fluid ounces blood
  • 2 dashes bitters
  • 2 maraschino cherries

Note: Leave out the blood if you aren’t a Vampire.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Pour in the sweet vermouth and whiskey and splash on 2 dashes of bitters. Shake while counting to 30. Pour into 2 cocktail glasses, garnish each with a cherry and serve immediately

 

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Note: I’ve consumed alcohol for my entire adult life. Now, as a parent, I consume less of it but what I do consume is better and a lot more fun.

If you’re going to drink…of course (I have to add this because I claim to be a parenting blogger) tell your kids about alcohol. In fact I have a 16 year old Vampire child who is grounded for life (or at least until February) for not being responsible and under aged drinking. It happened once and will not happen again (not to mention the headache that lasted for 2 days).  If it happens again he will be grounded until he is 30.

When my kids turn 21 I will take them out wine tasting and teach them the difference between drinking to enjoy the experience and drinking simply to get drunk. They don’t call it being shit faced for nothing –  a crude but true analogy.

Vampire Cocktail Guide with Juliette and Teddy

Vampire Cocktail Guide with Juliette and Teddy