Burning Question #38: Rule Breakers

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What fresh Hell is this? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Saturday is here – Time For Burning Question #38.

This whole Burning Question thing came out of an afternoon with sports playing on the Tee Vee and somebody asking “Is a hotdog a sandwich?” I say NO. A lot of people said yes (really?) Then I decided, against my better judgement, to have 50 BURNING QUESTIONS. SO here we go on #38.

  • Some people are rule followers.
  • Some people don’t follow the rules.
  • Some people are in prison. Some aren’t.
  • The laws of nature seem pretty solid unless…certain events change them, but maybe not.
  • Philosophy is confusing.
  • Physics is confusing.
  • Motion and momentum are connected.
  • Do you follow the exact rules when you play Monopoly. If you answer YES you’re a LIAR. Nobody follows the rules exactly.

But, but, but… some rules can’t be broken. Ever. Never.

Or is there an exception? Or is it just laws that are meant to be broken?

Of course we all know that hearts can be, and will be broken. Is that a rule? Feel free to discuss it below.

Burning Question #38: Is there an exception to every rule?

Read this carefully. Is there an exception to EVERY rule? Not just some but EVERY rule.

 

I posted this for no reason. I just thought it was stupid and funny. This blog has no rules therefore there are no rules to be broken.

I have nothing else to say on this matter. Did it make your head spin? Discuss this below. Or discuss whatever you want. Do you have your Christmas lights up yet? Do you have a dog? Do you make biscuits from scratch or from a can? Are you wondering what Vlad the Vampire King doing for the holidays? Let me know. Share. Please.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Ask Juliette: How can I tell if my girlfriend is a Vampire? Class Reunions. And other timely matters.

Ask Juliette (Ask a Vampire) is a semi-regular feature here at Vampiremaman.com

If you have a question about anything, including, but not restricted to relationships, parenting, Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, cooking, gardening, travel, roller skating or anything you have a burning question about just ask. Send your questions to juliettevampiremom @ gmail dot com. Or just put your question in the comments.

Dear Juliette,

I think my girlfriend might be a Vampire. Lately her habits have changed for the extreme. Her diet has recently become extremely restrictive, she is gone most nights, she started to wear more black, she looks better and is in better shape than she ever has, and she have become kind of snappy with me. I asked her about it and she said she found out she is diabetic. I don’t buy it. How can I tell if she is a Vampire? 

If your girlfriend did turn into a Vampire she would have been deathly ill before she got better. It isn’t an easy process to convert. 

Here are a few signs if she is indeed a Vampire.

  • Cooler body temperature. 
  • Restricted diet.
  • An increase to sensitivity to the sun.
  • Quick healing of wounds.
  • Little or no physical aging.
  • Often a show of fangs when angry.
  • The ability to see in the dark.
  • The ability to put someone else into a trance.

I don’t believe your girlfriend is a Vampire. More than likely she has changed her diet for health reasons, and is going to the gym at night. Or she is cheating on you. Or going to the gym at night AND cheating on you.

Dear Juliette,

Can Vampires have babies or does one have to be bitten by a Vampire and convert? Can Vampires and Werewolves have babies? Can humans and Vampires have babies.

Yes, Vampires can have their own biological children the old fashioned way, but only with other Vampires, and it is extremely rare. They don’t have offspring with regular human folks, and not with Werewolves, and not with Demons, Fallen Angels, or anybody who is not a Vampire. 

Dear Juliette,

I want to become a Vampire. Can you help.

No. Please don’t ask me again.

Dear Juliette,

How does one turn into a Vampire?

Do you honestly think I’d tell you, a stranger, on this blog where thousands and thousands of people could read it? Seriously?

Dear Juliette,

I read the post about Nigel the Ghost and his class reunion. It got me thinking… I have my 30th class reunion coming up. What should I wear?

Thanks for reading my last post.

Good question. A class reunion is a time to show some class. Wear something you are comfortable in, yet flattering. Make sure whatever you wear fits correctly. Don’t try to squeeze into something too tight. In turn don’t wear something that fits you like a tent. A class reunion, especially after the ten year point, is not a time to try to be sexy. An attempt at being a hot mama will only make you look older and pathetic. Everyone WILL talk about you behind your back and not in a good way. But if you want to do something special like getting your make-up or nails done then go for it. If you feel good, you’ll look good. 

And guys, at least wear a button down shirt. A tie is always nice. Wear an undershirt. Nobody wants to see your chest hair or nipples. NOBODY. Skip the gold chains and over the top guy bling. 

Dear Juliette,

My 20th class reunion is coming up. Many of my classmates have spoken about their faith based lives and conservative values. At the same time about a dozen classmates have come out and are bringing their same-sex spouses. Should I tell people to be nice?

Some people, religious or not, are just assholes. Show support to the LBGT classmates. If you haven’t walked in their shoes you have no idea at what they have gone through to be accepted, and have the right to be married to the people they love. If anyone has a problem with that it is THEIR problem – and they are jerks. Not all faith based people have problems with someone being LBGT. In fact, most of my LBGT friends are people of faith. You asked, and I’m telling you what I think. 

 

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

Thanks for dropping by. If you have a pressing question you know where to ask.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask Juliette: Blogging a Book Series With a Bit of Parenting, and Vampire Questions

Ask Juliette is a regular Thursday feature on Vampire Maman. Questions are from my readers. Feel free to add your own comments and suggestions.

Ask Juliette

Quite a few of my readers have asked me the same question.

Juliette, when are you going to turn your blog into a book?

Funny you should ask. Tomorrow I have the opportunity to speak (pitch my work) to a literary  agent who likes the kind of stuff I write, especially the historic aspects of the work.

I should be excited. Give me a glass of wine and good company at a party and everyone wants me to talk about my blog. On the other hand sitting in front of a stranger and trying to explain why she should take time out of her busy career and represent my work, well, makes me so nervous that you’d think I was meeting with a bunch of angry Vampire hunters. I feel kind of sick. Or worse I’ll get a deer-in-the-headlights stare and a luke warm thank you.

The wonderful blogger John from monkeybellhop.com said of my work:

“An interesting hybrid of family and societal observations from the perspective of a mother who also happens to be a vampire. That Vampire Maman, aka Juliette, is a highly innovative and insightful writer with a gift for creating a fantasy world within a “real” world context.”

Where do I start?

I could keep with the Vampire parenting theme, keeping with the stories about raising my Vampire children in a world in which they are different from everyone else.

Aside from children I also take care of elders. Tellias and Eleora look like young adults, but they’re over 2,000 years old and act like senior citizens. Everyone loves them. They make us laugh, yet, they also break our hearts, like normal old people.

Last night was our last back to school night. My youngest is a senior in high school. After this year I won’t have anymore crazy middle school or high school stories. It will be a new beginning for this blog with GROWN Vampire children. But back to the book idea…

I’ve already outlined a series based on the adventures of my brother’s and me. Each book would focus on a different brother (due to their different personalities) and the last book would be about my brother Val and me. Since Val and I are so close in age most of his exciting adventures were with me.

You know, I was kind of thinking this would be kind of like a Nora Roberts type trilogy/series where each friend/sibling has their own book, but they all end up together in the last book. But don’t worry, as much as I love her work, I would not copy her. I’m just using her books as an example.

Book 1: Max (Maxwell) the Eldest. The alpha Vampire enforcer type. He has all sorts of problems with demons, selkies, fallen angels, Vampire hunters, werewolves, his brother Andy, and of course women. He has a lot of issues with women.

Book 2: Andy (Andrew) the funny opera singer who is always getting in and out of trouble. He is most famous for the story “Morning at the Vineyard.” He also throws a great house party, and is always popular with the unicorns, and pixies, not to mention middle aged college professors.

Book 3: Aaron is a husband, father, attorney, and Vampire. He sometimes helps his Vampire Hunter friend Austin Durant (of The Hunter, Austin and Elizabeth Stories) take care of rogue Vampires, and rogue Vampire Hunters.

Book 4. Juliette and Val (Valentine). We’ve had a lot of adventures across three centuries. Just the other day I called him to ask if he remembered a party we went to in the 1880’s. On the other end of the phone was a pause then a low laugh. Yes, he remembered. Along with other adventures on the road and closer to home.

All four books would go from the past when we were children during the California Gold Rush, to today with the challenges of modern Vampire life.

I’ll soon be revising and editing my short story collection “Morning at the Vineyard,” I’ll keep you posted on that one.

So would you like to see books based on this blog? Would you read it based on what you’ve already read from me? Do you like my work enough to keep reading more than just a blog post?

I also have the serial fantasy novel “Girl in the Woods,” going here. There are the ever so popular “Vampire Diary” series with Vlad the Vampire King. The Austin and Elizabeth stories are popular too. Eleora and Tellias could also have a stand alone book of their own.

Let me know what you think.

Vampire Teen

How old are you? Could you give me your birth date?

10/23/1859

If you try to catfish me or do anything stupid I’ll send some really nasty and mean Vampires after you. And they WILL find you.

This is not my bed. I don't sleep in a box.

Do you like drinking blood?

Why is it always about blood? There are so many good food bloggers out there who have far more interesting things to offer a reader than my eating habits.

But to answer your question… yes, and sometimes more than yes, but I usually don’t even think about it.

And come to think about it – that is kind of a rude question for someone to ask a Vampire.

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Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampiremaman.com

If you have a question about anything from romance, to parenting, to paranormal, to family drama, to writing, to history, to fashion, or whatever, just ask. I’ll do my best to answer.

Just email your questions to: juliettevampiremom @ gmail. com

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman