Short Story Sunday: Dark Politics

What we needed was something different…


Dark Politics

by Juliette Kings aka Vampire Maman


 I’d dined with The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, alone. It had been a private affair with only the two of us. I’d acquired signatures, state secrets, just the right amount of English blood, and enough charm to last me a while. He came away from it feeling quite satisfied with himself, though a little pale.

Heading to my private quarters I was stopped cold in my tracks. There he was, at the end of the hall.

“Well, this is random.” I said to the familiar apparition.

“I have been waiting for you madam.”

“I never imagined you’d stoop so low as to be a ghost.”

He smiled. “I never imagined you’d stoop so low as to be president.”

I smiled back. “The first woman president. I bet you never thought you’d see that in your lifetime.”

“I’m dead my dear. Remember?” He laughed in a cold manner that made my breath turn to a cloud before my face. “I loved you.” He whispered.

“You used me.”

“You used me as well Madam.”

“So I did. But times have changed Mr. President.”

The ghost smiled and came close. “You amaze me Madam.  Never has there been a president so popular or successful. The economy is good. Unemployment is below 2%. We’re not in a war and our schools working. How do you manage it?”

I shrugged. “I love the American people. I love my country.”

The ghost laughed. “You don’t have to campaign with me dear.”

I had to smile. At one time we’d been so close. “Why did it take so long for you to show yourself?” I asked.

“The White House isn’t my usual haunt. If I’d known you’d be wearing that dress I would have come back sooner.”

“I’m not even wearing a corset.”

“Or a bustle. That is one reason I never gave women the vote, you do know that. Damned bustles looked so silly. Who could take a creature who wears one of those things seriously?”

A song blasted from my hand. The ghost looked startled. “My daughter just texted me.” I held up my phone. She was just down the hall but I’d promised I’d check in before I went to bed.

“How is she doing since…I’m so sorry.”

“She’s doing ok. Some days are hard, especially holidays and special events.” My husband had passed away during my first term of an unexpected illness. I would never admit it out loud but grief, combined with my dedication to the job, shot my ratings in the polls up to 97.4%.

I looked fondly upon my ghostly friend, a great man who was rarely remembered. One of the many forgotten 19th century presidents.  Just so many men with beards. What a shame.

“I wish I could hold you.” I said, remembering a time long ago when that was possible.

“I should have asked you turn me when you had a chance.” He said, standing so close I could feel him but not touch him.

Passing my hand through his heart I told him the truth. “You made a good president but you would have been a horrible vampire sir.”

“I suppose you’re right. Good night my dear”, he said with a gentle smile. “Be careful.”

I smiled. “I will, my darling. I will.”

We agree to celebrate our life…

Last summer, when traveling on a short trip abroad with my friend Amelia, we found ourselves squeezed on public transportation, always a great place for people watching.

As we looked around (as we always do) my friend and I noticed that there were no tattoos. Since we live in the Western United States (California and Nevada) we see A LOT of ink. I live in walking distance of at least five tattoo parlours. And I’m not talking seedy holes in seedy strip malls. It is everywhere. My kids know how many teachers have tramp stamps or verses written on their wrists and other inked in decorations. We’re one of the few inkless families around.

Anyway, then we started to talk that everyone looked the same more or less. There was some diversity but not as much as we have at home.

And the point is that if you look at the US Olympic team we don’t all look the same. We don’t act the same. We don’t pray the same. We aren’t the same. Yet, WE ARE the same in our hearts and souls.

Our union isn’t make upon blood lines or DNA or family ties or tradition. It is something far more special than that. It is about the freedom to break ties. It is the freedom to be different, yet part of the club. It is like love in the fact that it is blind, but grows to be wise and nurturing.

It is the freedom to be a Vampire or a Werewolf even if it is just in spirit and for fun. Ghosts on the other hand….that is a different blog post.

And speaking of such things – nobody can have fun like we can…really, think about it. Think of all the goofy silly things we do just for fun.

We agree in that we will celebrate our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness together, and agree that we can disagree. For like I tell my kids, life would be boring if we all were the same.

Appreciate what we have and the life, love and work of those who have gone before us.

Teach your children to fly and make their own world, based on our values, morals and truth but let them own it. To me that is what makes us Americans.

For more on my patriotic views click on the links below:

~ Have a good Labor Day Weekend everyone!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Everyone needs to get along!

Color & Cut-out Modern Vampire Paper Dolls

Color and Cut-out Modern Vampire Paper Dolls

Set #1: Juliette and Clara

What could be more fun than paper dolls to get you started over the long weekend? Maybe a nice glass of wine and a good looking Vampire stud, but…

Tell Mr. Tall Dark & Handsome Vampire Stud to come back in a few hours – it is time to cut and color and have some creative fun! Crayons, pens, glitter, colored pencil all works great. Put tracing paper over the dolls and make your own make-to-fit outfits and design your own Halloween dresses and Fabulous Fall outfits!

Since my pens seemed to vanish into some sort of time warp or black hole or kid’s room – I’m just giving you quick pencil sketches today. And it will work fine after you get done with your fabulous coloring and embellishment!  You can draw in the faces too.

This is the first of several sets of Modern Vampire Paper Dolls featuring your favorite characters in my blog. Collect the entire set for hours of pre-Halloween fun!

My goal is to have more polished, stylized and a lot more “Gothic” designs in the future as part of Vampire Maman’s Countdown to Halloween.

So cut, color and PLAY!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Juliette and Clara Paper Dolls: Print, color and cut-out fun!

Juliette and Clara Paper Dolls: Print, color and cut-out fun!







His beating heart…

heartHis beating heart,

His throbbing brain,

He shuffled towards her,

Once again.




Her beating heart,

Her missing brain,

She lost her eye,

But love she’d gained.




Their rotting hearts,

Their gray green brains,

Twas Zombie love,

Romance insane.




Halloween will be here soon!


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Writing a love letter? Ask a vampire.

 Vampires write love letters tooClara (14): I met a new friend in school today. His name is Alex.

Me (mom): Is he cute?

Clara (big smile): Yes.

High School is full of surprises this year! Well, not really, but that is a good thing. The kids are having so much fun and so far everything is great.

My teens are also doing quite well (so far) at handling the opposite sex.

I can’t say as much for my brother Andrew who is staying with me for a few weeks. I guess, he does handle things in his own over blown old fashioned over the top romantic way.

We (my kids and I) walked into our family room to find Uncle Andy laying on the floor, pen and paper in hand, cat on Andy’s back purring and the dog curled up against his side.

“What are you writing?” I asked, for one never knows with Andy.

“A love letter to Sheena.”

Ah, the new woman he’d met this summer. Not a Vampire but not a sweet young thing either. She was a 50 something professional mom of two college age kids who’d captured his heart. Actually she didn’t capture his heart, he threw it at her. She learned he was a Vampire and was a little freaked out about it, but not so freaked out that she wouldn’t let him stay the night with him. But still freaked out.

None the less, she must be pretty special to get love letters from Andrew, who is always throwing his heart at women.

There had been a couple of Vampire women a over the past two or three years  I seemed to remember.

“What about Teresa? Your Vampire love in New Orleans?” I had to ask because she was so interesting.

Andrew shrugged his shoulders. “She said she was looking for someone more mature.”

“You’re 162 Andy,” I said thinking that my older brother wasn’t that old for a Vampire but he wasn’t exactly young.

My brother sighed. “She wasn’t talking about my age.”

Then he rolled back on his stomach and the cat crawled on his back again. “Help me write this letter. What should I say to my Sheena?”

I thought a minute. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, tomorrow I’ll miss you, remember I’ll always be true. And then while I’m away I’ll write home every day and I’ll send all my loving to you.”

“Say that again…close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Juliette that is a Beatles song.”

It took a while before the kids stopped laughing. Then they started to throw out ever bad lyric out there.

“Alright copy this down,” I told him. I cleared my throat ceremoniously.

“The first time I met you I felt as if I’d known you forever.  It is as if I’ve loved you forever.  If you don’t want to see me I understand, but please give me a chance to let me show you who I am, what I am and why I love you.

I remember when we were on the beach, dancing under the full moon. I can still feel the brush of your lips on mine, the taste of…” I paused with a sudden thought, one that only Vampires think. “Did you bite her Andy?”

“Yes, but in my defense she didn’t know. She fell asleep. She’ll never know.”

“OK. Just tell her how you feel. Make a couple of rough drafts. Read it aloud. Quote some poetry or a song lyric.”

Teddy (my husband and Andrew’s friend) came downstairs. “Hey children of mine, the results are in from this week’s America’s Got Talent. It more or less sucked.” Teddy then looked at Andrew on the floor. “What are you doing?”

“I’m writing a love letter to Sheena. She needs to know how the full emotional depth of my feelings for her. I just can’t…seem…to get the words down on paper.”

Teddy got the look on his face like he gets with the kids. “Why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her?”


“Andy, if you like her, call her.”

“What would I say?”

“Hi. How are you? I’ve been thinking about you? When can we get together? What’s the worst than can happen? She’ll say no and you won’t have to worry about her anymore. She says yes and you’ll get to see her.”

Andy took out his phone and went to kitchen. We could hear him on the phone, “Sheena, it’s Andy.”

They talked for about an hour. I’m sure during that time there must have been about 100 texts from Alex to Clara too.

Like Teddy said, all you have to do is say hello. But you know, a beautifully written love letter never hurts.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


If you look up “how to respond to a love letter” on Google you’ll get MY POST FIRST (click here to go there) and if you go to the second choice, and this is what makes me the really cool mom, and I mean really really really cool, you’ll get SMOSH. If you don’t know who SMOSH is they’re a comedy team from my neighborhood who do really fun things on YouTube. And they’re a favorite of my kids. They created one of my favorites the Teleporting Fat Guy. Click here for SMOSH love letters:

Why you’re morbidly (and passionately) attracted to Vampires

What is the fascination with Vampires?

Disclaimer: I used the word MORBID in the post title because it sounded creepy and fun. No other reason.

Warnings: If you despise the idea of Vampires, people who like the idea of Vampires, Werewolves and all sorts of paranormal, supernatural, things that go bump in the night and flapping bats, ghosts, elves and cocktails then you might want to go read something else, like the stock reports or the back of your laundry detergent box.

People like to be scared

grossoutRemember when you were a kid sitting around the campfire listening to the stories about the man with the golden arm or the guy with the hook arm or random ghost stories? Then you graduated to your first Stephen King novel and now you can’t look at a clown without wanting to scream? And we love watching those Paranormal Activity Movies even though they are so stupid that we’re laughing at the same time we’re jumping out of our skin scared. A cracked closet door at night contains more than just party dresses… a footstep at night is more than just the cat padding up the stairs…it is the unknown thing that lurks in the deepest darkest corners of our imaginations…it is fear and we love it.

And face it, Vampires can be pretty scary. They can immobilize you with their minds, seduce you, suck your blood and kill you. And they can turn you into a Vampire if they so desire. They’re called undead, like a ghost with a body (not really but that is the mythology.) Plus bad Vampires are really really really hard to kill.

Now, when you’re scared you either become a quivering mass of emotional jelly, or you get an intense adrenaline rush. So being scared turns from something bad into something really fun.

So your assignment for tonight is to get a flashlight, a blanket, turn off the lights, put the blanket over your head, turn on the flashlight and read Poe’s “The Tell Tale Heart”. Now THAT will creep you out.

Plus without the sense of fear the squirrels would have eaten humans a long time ago. OK, I’m sure the badgers, wolves and bears would have helped out a little, but you know what I mean.

Vampires are Forbidden

If you’re a Regular Human your mom and dad won’t want you to be dating a Vampire. They’re weird, cold and suck your blood. They aren’t like you. But you like the Vampire anyway and think your parents are dorks.  I think that explains the forbidden part of this post.

You like the idea of Power

ignoranceVampires, while hidden, are powerful. They can be immoral, putting aside their souls or thought of others. But they are purposeful and smart. They move in the shadows using seduction (that sex thing again) and power to get what they desire. They are hunters, one of the few beings that are on top of the food chain, above humans. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be there. I love my veggies too but…you have to admit there is nothing like getting your fangs into someone and feeling that surge of energy. What a rush. A rush that no drug can duplicate.


No physical aging, more or less. Who wouldn’t like that? On the other hand there are things one might miss out on, like knee replacements…I doubt if there is any of that anyone would miss out on. Plus the almost complete lack of illness, not worrying about elderly parents, the ability to do things over again and again and again…and boredom that could last for centuries if you don’t play your cards right.

Man’s Triumph Over Evil

carrieOh just blame it on the Vampire. Go ahead.

My opinion on this one is that humans must overcome their own evil and look at themselves, not with rose-colored glasses and not with fear. They must put aside their political, religious and cultural biases and stand against evil. When one stands against evil one must not fear it but take it by the neck and strangle it out.

OK to translate that bit of writing I just penned: Evil is violence and hate for the purpose of control and spreading ignorance. Evil hides behind a false mask of religion, power and goodness – so listen carefully when you hear the voice of evil it sounds like the song of an angel. Evil will also tell lies to turn you against good. Pickup any history book and you’ll find hundreds, even thousands of examples. To translate again – don’t believe everything you hear. Being a skeptic could one day save your life. Just read “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” You’ll know what I’m talking about.

In order to explain away evil people, humans have used creatures such as Vampires, Werewolves and Ghosts as metaphors for such bad behavior.

A long time ago, way before CSI, way before Jack the Ripper, before Dracula and before The Bridges of Madison County (sorry, I had to get that in there HA HA HA), humans had a difficult time explaining extreme horrible events such as serial killers. No human could cause such violence. No human could kill/torture/rape in the middle of the night unless…unless it wasn’t human. It couldn’t be human. Well, wake up and smell the warm mead, it wasn’t a Werewolf, back in 835 AD it was Weird Uncle Bill who carved weird little wooden rats and lived with his mom in her mud hut, that is until he killed her and started dressing in her clothes. In 1343 it was charming handsome Sir Albert who was luring all of those woman away to the swamp where he’d do horrible things to them. Or in 1890 the beloved Rev. Donald Green posed as a good man of God, when in truth he was a Godless man, using the local river banks as a dump for the tortured bodies of lost souls who’d come through his soup kitchen.

But wouldn’t it be easier to believe it was a blood sucking creature of the night or a man turned into a wolf who did all the killing?

And just like serial killers fascinate us, we’re fascinated with all inhuman creatures that act in the place of bad humans.

On the other hand, one never knows if it could have been a rogue Vampire or Werewolf. We just don’t know. Well, some of us know…

My husband has always been fascinated with serial killers (and he finds them horrible.) He even has some new theories on the Zodiac. Then again, we live in Northern California a place that seems to be the epicenter of weird killers. Yuck.

Of course a small circle of Vampires, who just happened to be in London in the 1880’s know exactly who Jack the Ripper was.

Yes, Vampires are dangerous to please be cautious. Vampires will suck out your blood. Vampires will lie to you. Vampires will trick you. Vampires will break your heart. Vampires can, if provoked, suck out your soul and rip your throat out. Vampires are not to be taken lightly. And despite what you’ve learned from my blog there are some evil Vampires out there that you don’t want to mess with.

Vampires are Fun!

As you can see by my posts that Vampires usually have more fun than a bathtub full of otters. It doesn’t take much to amuse a Vampire (or piss us off, but we’ve got that under control, at least most of us)

The Romance of Vampires

romanceDrum roll please. Or should it be violins? This is the number one reason why people currently like Vampires. And don’t we all need a little romance in our lives.

Every other post on this blog has to do with romance. The others involve parenting (Vampire teens), poetry and cats. The most popular posts on this Vampire blog are about writing love letters. If you look at most (not all) but most modern Vampire books it is all about dark forbidden romance.

Blame that on Braham Stoker when he introduced Dracula to the general public but since then writers have been creating more sexy Vampires than I could have ever imagined. And they’re right. I can’t even start to list all of the authors (so I won’t right now).

Vampires do the most personal thing someone could ever do – they drink your blood. Your life force that comes from your warm and beating heart. Vampires NEED you in order to survive. It is that intimate physical connection, in the shadows, the forbidden desire, the kiss of cool lips on your neck, the whisper of a voice so young, yet so old… a voice that belongs to a creature who knows all of your hopes and fears…

If fall in love with a Vampire the choices are difficult. Do you go with him forever into the dark, or do you live forever with a broken heart and the knowledge of another world that so few humans ever experience? For the kiss of a Vampire is something no mortal ever forgets.

Imagine the most intense eyes looking into yours. The cool kiss, hot with passion. Every desire, every want, every need will be fulfilled by this creature of the night, a mystery, an unfulfilled promise waiting to be awakened, it is all yours. You feel the kiss on your neck followed by a scrape of fangs, then those fangs sink into your warm flesh, you want to pull away, but you can’t, you want to stay, you want to be consumed with the intense physical desires and the flood of emotions – fear, lust, desire, want, need, love. And that my dear is what happens when you meet up close and personal with a Vampire.

It is also that romance that lasts not for years, but for centuries.

Vampire Love Poem

I was a spirit

In white silk with pink roses

Bustle in back

You in black tails

Took my breath away

And a century later

When you realized

That I loved you

I could exhale.


red heart

And face it girls – Vampire guys are HOT.  They just are. I don’t even need to explain. Whew. Fan me off right now.

A Short List of Vampire Posts for Reference on Romance:

There are more posts on the subject…feel free to search around.


So to wrap things up…

Everyone should have fun, and who better to have fun with than a Vampire. Take my word for it. 

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman.

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

The Tiger and Vampire Maman

This is not a scientific study. Keep in mind the POV (point of view) of this odd little semi-popular blog. Chime in if you want. There are many myths, many truths, many theories about Vampire and their cohorts. I mean, really, would you come HERE for a real scientific study? Really? But please feel free to share your stories and your reason for being fascinated with Vampires. Remarks from haters and priggishly toned know-it-alls will be promptly removed (let’s keep this fun folks)