Oh my gosh it is the very last night of 2013 America’s Got Talent. We watch it every year and for those of you who follow this blog (especially old timers) you know that, well, I blog about it. For no reason at all except that it is FAMILY TIME and this is supposed to be a PARENTING BLOG (fooled you didn’t I.)
We were all SORELY disappointed and pissed off about last week’s show. Now we have three forgettable singing acts (yawn), a darling high school boy who does magic and only two acts that are good enough to win it all. But I’m sure one of the singers will win because most people have no imagination (or taste). On the other hand the dog act won last year. Go dogs. Gotta admit those dogs were really cute.
Anyway, since the final show is exciting, stupid, fun and frustrating all at the same time Teddy is making cocktails.
So this is what we thought…by the way, it was the usual gang of Vampires, about 12 of us from age 14 to age 456.
Warning: Mean but true comments ahead. Turn back if you don’t want to read anything not nice.
Nick had a suit that actually fit!
Below are real comments. Thank your lucky stars I didn’t publish all of them. This is a tough crowd here at Vampire Central.
Jimmy Rose
- He was precious.
- He had that tall drink of water look that all girls like.
- Natural Country voice.
- He wrote that song? Wow.
- He is genuine.
- His heart is in the right place
- He is the best singer.
- Makes me think of Randy Travis.
- Howie shut the F up.
- He is so much better than the other singers.
- Howard shut the F up.
Kenichi
- WOW.
- He’d be a good opening act.
- Wow.
- When is it going to start?
- He was his own back up dancers!
- That was fun.
- He is the girls!
- This is fun.
- I love it.
- He is so much fun.
- That was great.
Cami Bradley
- My God what is she singing?
- Cher is going to come out and kick her ass.
- What is she doing with her mouth?
- She is cute but she can’t stay on tune.
- She’ll win because people are stupid.
- Just annoying.
- She’s a whore.
- She just puts on the goody two shoes act. It is all fake.
- That was mean.
- It’s true. That is what people at her church say.
- Are you kidding me? Really? She has butchered every song she has done. Oh my God that is horrible.
- She has never been on key.
- Please forward through it. That is horrible.
- Why does she keep screwing up her face like that?
Collins Key
- How’d he do that?
- HA HA HA
- That is amazing!
- How did he do that?
- He is so cute.
- I love him!
- He is so much fun.
- How did he do that?
- How did he do that?
- That was so much fun!
- How did he do that?
Forte
- They need to learn how to dress themselves.
- This is not very good.
- Hear that? No.
- They’re ok.
- No this is really bad.
- You go to any professional opera company and there are 45 guys who sing better. More than 45.
- They’re just not that good.
- Would you watch more than 10 minutes of that? Hell No.
- They’re boring.
- The chorus was too much.
- Why the F do they need so much backup?
- They’re good but I won’t remember them tomorrow.
Taylor
- So creative
- He is so funny
- He is so cute
- He has been the best so far tonight
- He has to win.
- Stupid people will vote for the singers.
- Can’t help but like him.
- He is the best but I think the skank will win it.
- You’re mean.
- I’m right.
- This is really good. He could win it.
- He is so good.
- He should win it.
- I can’t believe he said that.
- He is so funny.
- He need to win.
- It will be nuts if he doesn’t win.
- He should win.
- He is so good.
Cocktail of the Night
Bloody Talent
- 3 parts V8
- 2 parts Vodka (I use the kind in the blue bottle)
- 1 part blood
- A dash of lemon juice
- A dash of lime juice
- A dash of hot sauce
- A dash of orange juice (just a dash)
- A splash of good gin (the blue or green bottle)
- 3 large green olives (stuffed with whatever you like)
And add a pickled green bean if you like. Might as well.
Pour over ice!
Thank you Teddy!
If you’re not a Vampire leave out the blood.
The only thing left is to vote and see who wins tomorrow and hope it doesn’t make us cry.
Update 9/19/13:
Kenichi 1st Place
Taylor 2nd Place
Jimmy 3rd Place
We’re happy with that. They were the best and I’m sure they’ve all been contacted by agents already. Good job. Well see who shows up next summer. Now we’re just waiting to see what Walt does next on Breaking Bad!
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
Vampire Maman 
I don’t watch AGT, but why would I need to when you can make it come so alive for me…you should be one of the judges.
At least we get to vote online! It is a lot of silly fun!
My favorite commentary was, “Cher is going to come out and kick her ass”. I’ve never seen the show but your commentary of it has me curious now!
That would be my charming husband who said that! We got started watching this about 5 years ago and now it has become a silly summer tradition!