Burning Question #38: Rule Breakers

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What fresh Hell is this? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Saturday is here – Time For Burning Question #38.

This whole Burning Question thing came out of an afternoon with sports playing on the Tee Vee and somebody asking “Is a hotdog a sandwich?” I say NO. A lot of people said yes (really?) Then I decided, against my better judgement, to have 50 BURNING QUESTIONS. SO here we go on #38.

  • Some people are rule followers.
  • Some people don’t follow the rules.
  • Some people are in prison. Some aren’t.
  • The laws of nature seem pretty solid unless…certain events change them, but maybe not.
  • Philosophy is confusing.
  • Physics is confusing.
  • Motion and momentum are connected.
  • Do you follow the exact rules when you play Monopoly. If you answer YES you’re a LIAR. Nobody follows the rules exactly.

But, but, but… some rules can’t be broken. Ever. Never.

Or is there an exception? Or is it just laws that are meant to be broken?

Of course we all know that hearts can be, and will be broken. Is that a rule? Feel free to discuss it below.

Burning Question #38: Is there an exception to every rule?

Read this carefully. Is there an exception to EVERY rule? Not just some but EVERY rule.

 

I posted this for no reason. I just thought it was stupid and funny. This blog has no rules therefore there are no rules to be broken.

I have nothing else to say on this matter. Did it make your head spin? Discuss this below. Or discuss whatever you want. Do you have your Christmas lights up yet? Do you have a dog? Do you make biscuits from scratch or from a can? Are you wondering what Vlad the Vampire King doing for the holidays? Let me know. Share. Please.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

A kiss…

You can’t suck the soul from a ghost because a ghost is nothing but a soul. A nasty, annoying, tormented soul that will make you go insane. That is why I hate ghosts.

Sucking souls is nasty business anyway – something to be avoided except in extreme situations.

But kissing is always fun…especially if you’re a Vampire.

My brother Max is still visiting from lands far away, taking a break from the violence and stress of his occupation. He is also recovering from a broken heart. Dear, misguided, Max, the man with lips that any woman (except me, his sister) would be crazy not to want.

We stood on my deck watching the stars when he looked out into the woods. He squinted his eyes which was odd considering he has excellent night vision. “Juliette, there is a ghost behind your house.”

The ghost looked up from his book and gave us the finger.

“Hey ghost, want to meet my brother?” I yelled.

“Screw you Vampire.” He yelled back, then smiled a wicked mean and nasty smile.

My brother looked shocked. Vampires hate ghosts and have as little to do with them as possible. I still instinctively don’t like ghosts but have developed sort of a relationship with this ghost based on mutual disrespect and a bond formed by being a different being in a world where everyone else is “normal”.

The ghost was suddenly closer. “So this is the great hunter. Your heart is broken. You know there are only two cures for that one.”

Anger flashed in Max’s eyes but he said nothing. The ghost continued. “You could go out and let out your blood lust and kill something. But I don’t recommend that. The second and most effective cure is long hot passionate kisses with a woman with fire in her soul.” Then he started to laugh. “You Vampires are pathetic. Your entire culture is based on neck biting and kissing and physical attraction, yet when your heart is broken you seem so shocked. You can handle anything except your own hearts.”

But the ghost was right our culture is based on neck biting and wrist biting and the fine art of the kiss. Without the kiss we’d be lowly predators. We’ve taken our blood gathering to a higher level, to something both Vampire and donor find quite wonderful.

Forget the Vampire stuff, a kiss will cure a multitude of ills, from a mother comforting a child, to a broken-hearted Vampire warrior.

The ghost faded away and I looked at my brother. “Maybe the ghost is right, a kiss and a night of passion might be the cure or at least help you feel better.”

“Maybe.” He said that downing his glass of wine and staring off into the dark. “I remember the time Teddy told me he’d kissed you for the first time. I’d never seen him so happy. I’m glad you finally married him.”

“So am I, so am I. You know Max, your time will come. Your true Vampire love is out there somewhere.”

My brother smiled and gave my hand a gentle squeeze then kissed me on the cheek.

Sweet dreams to all –

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

This was first posted in January 2013. Yes, we’re in rerun mode because Vampire Maman is occupied with other things. I hope this Romance/Valentine inspired post made you smile. Wishing you a whole lot of kisses. xoxoxo Juliette.

And don’t forget to check out my previous post I wrote for The Evil Squirrel’s Nest Contest (had to include a unicorn, a possum and a squirrel.)

A kiss so sweet or a kiss divine, all yours and all mine.

You can’t suck the soul from a ghost because a ghost is nothing but a soul. A nasty, annoying, tormented soul that will make you go insane. That is why I hate ghosts.

Sucking souls is nasty business anyway – something to be avoided except in extreme situations.

But kissing is always fun…especially if you’re a Vampire.

My brother Max is still visiting from lands far away, taking a break from the violence and stress of his occupation. He is also recovering from a broken heart. Dear, misguided, Max, the man with lips that any woman (except me, his sister) would be crazy not to want.

We stood on my deck watching the stars when he looked out into the woods. He squinted his eyes which was odd considering he has excellent night vision. “Juliette, there is a ghost behind your house.”

The ghost looked up from his book and gave us the finger.

“Hey ghost, want to meet my brother?” I yelled.

“Screw you Vampire.” He yelled back, then smiled a wicked mean and nasty smile.

My brother looked shocked. Vampires hate ghosts and have as little to do with them as possible. I still instinctively don’t like ghosts but have developed sort of a relationship with this ghost based on mutual disrespect and a bond formed by being a different being in a world where everyone else is “normal”.

The ghost was suddenly closer. “So this is the great hunter. Your heart is broken. You know there are only two cures for that one.”

Anger flashed in Max’s eyes but he said nothing. The ghost continued. “You could go out and let out your blood lust and kill something. But I don’t recommend that. The second and most effective cure is long hot passionate kisses with a woman with fire in her soul.” Then he started to laugh. “You Vampires are pathetic. Your entire culture is based on neck biting and kissing and physical attraction, yet when your heart is broken you seem so shocked. You can handle anything except your own hearts.”

But the ghost was right our culture is based on neck biting and wrist biting and the fine art of the kiss. Without the kiss we’d be lowly predators. We’ve taken our blood gathering to a higher level, to something both Vampire and donor find quite wonderful.

Forget the Vampire stuff, a kiss will cure a multitude of ills, from a mother comforting a child, to a broken-hearted Vampire warrior.

The ghost faded away and I looked at my brother. “Maybe the ghost is right, a kiss and a night of passion might be the cure or at least help you feel better.”

“Maybe.” He said that downing his glass of wine and staring off into the dark. “I remember the time Teddy told me he’d kissed you for the first time. I’d never seen him so happy. I’m glad you finally married him.”

“So am I, so am I. You know Max, your time will come. Your true Vampire love is out there somewhere.”

My brother smiled and gave my hand a gentle squeeze then kissed me on the cheek.

Sweet dreams to all –

Juliette aka Vampire Maman

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A Vampire Teen – Love Poems and Letting Go (in honor of National Poetry Day)

She stood by the trees

Green leaves glowing in sunlight

Hope and desire glows

From her perfect skin

Her blonde hair like a halo.

My heart breaks

For my fondest desire

Is to grow old and frail

With my springtime girl

She stood by the trees

And smiled back at me

I waved and smiled

Just friends, not lovers or donors,

Friends for a while

And I wish her well

A long and happy life

As I watch and wonder “what if?”

———————–

I found that free form verse scrawled on a paper in my 16 year old son’s backpack. I wasn’t snooping, he told me he had a paper in there I had to sign.

But it broke my heart, a little, to see him so grown up, but yet still so young.

His father and I have had “the talk” about the different life spans of regular humans and those of us who are vampires.

I know the girl. Her name is Amber. She always kisses our cats when she comes over with the usual pack of teens for swim parties and study groups. She played Olivia to his Orsino in the school production of The Twelfth Night.

He let her go so she could date another boy, a boy who isn’t him, a boy she won’t fall in love with.

I see him through his bedroom door sitting on the bed with his laptop, black skinny jeans, hair in his eyes, skyping with friends, laughing. A normal 16 year old by anyone’s standards.

Follow up to this post: https://vampiremaman.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/vampire-teens-dealing-with-a-broken-heart/

Vampire Teens – dealing with a broken heart

As modern vampires we all need to find our way in the world. Some never quite get there, but most of us succeed.

I hear my 16 year old son and his friends and cousins talking about their roles as vampires. They’ve all been raised knowing that we much stand back and keep our own secrets. That is difficult and there are hard choices to be made.

We are small in numbers and feared by regular humans. We’re successful, which brings more fears.

When I arrived home yesterday afternoon (after taking Clara to summer camp…that will be another posting), Teddy and our son Garrett were sitting in the dark with somber faces. In fact, Garret, poor boy looked pale even for a vampire.

I knew what had happened because I’d found this poem yesterday in his long elegant teen scrawl written on a yellow lined sheet of paper.

 

Looking back,

You’re a pale ghost.

A monster waiting,

To feed upon the Vampire boy.

I feel your unholy energy,

Your thirst for power,

You prey on my heart,

You sucked away my love.

Alone in the dark,

I see your selfish soul,

Your glowing eyes,

That burn into my mind.

Loving a human girl,

Can only bring pain,

They are the monsters,

Bitches who bite deep.

 

She’d left him for another boy. He said he wasn’t ready to have sex with her and she came on too strong. When he said no to her she became angry. There were words. He changed his mind and said yes, but by then she said no.

I know it is all for the best, but that doesn’t sooth the sting of love’s first broken heart, especially when it is with a regular human.

You can’t always make everything perfect for your kids, but you can be there to listen and understand, without judgment. That’s what parents do.

 

~ Juliette