A word from the Vampire Maman on being polite. Don’t be a Troll.

Nobody likes Trolls.

A message, from the parenting blogger – something you might not have learned from your parents.

If you don’t have anything nice to say then just shut the F up.  Just don’t say it – especially if it is to a friend (or someone you want to be your friend.)

You’ve been going to too many hack writing groups where people just trash each other to feel power. That isn’t popular anymore. It is also counter productive for all parties involved. Just cut it out.

Before you comment and say something negative take a deep breath, count to 30,000, come back the next day and say to yourself “Do I really want to say that?” At that point, if you still have something to say you can say it in a reasonable manner or say it in private to the party you don’t agree with rather than putting it out in public for all to see.

You can really hurt your poet, writer, artist, lover, human and all other kinds of friends if you don’t STOP and THINK.

Yes, we all write funny, rude, snarky and nasty stuff but this isn’t what this post is about. So don’t worry to my author friends – I  respect you and your right to say anything you want. But rest assured if I don’t agree with you or think your post is boring I’m not going to tell you. I’m just going to move on and hope I like the next post better.

I’m not saying don’t write or say what you want. I’m all for freedom of speech. If I think you are crude or don’t like your taste in music or books or politics or whatever I’m going to move on – I would never comment on it on YOUR blog or other social media page. If I do then you need to call me out on it (so I won’t do it again.)

Teach this to the kids and the adults in your life.

Why am I posting this? Because in all forms of social media it is easy to barf all over something without thinking that your stink will stay after you left. It is so easy to hurt someone. We drill our teens on this – and we need to keep drilling them on it. But we also need to drill the adults in our lives. I know a lot of authors – seasoned and starting out – and I want them ALL to do well. I want all of us who write and who read to support our community. And when I talk to both the kids and adults in my life they say this is a problem. Nobody likes rudeness. If you don’t agree with someone just walk away – especially if it is a friend.

Don’t go looking for stuff on this blog – you won’t find it. Nobody made a nasty troll like comment here. Thank goodness. I love you all. Thank you for your support. I’ve just seen rude behavior in other places and I don’t like it. I don’t like to see someone go out of their way to post a story or a thought and have someone make a senseless rude remark about it. That is it. Just the mom in me coming out.

This isn’t about “reviews” it is about manners. Of course a lot of the rude people won’t even read this or if they do they won’t understand it.

Don’t be a troll. Just DON’T do it.

Click here for more on rudeness from Vampire Maman.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

be nice

Tuesday means American’s Got Talent and Cocktails! Who do we like tonight?


July 30, 2013

Teddy and the kids keep yelling “You suck” at the Tee Vee. Oh boy. Not a good night on America’s Got Talent. People were booted off for this lame showing. Ugh. And I know I’m not the best writer/blogger so how can I judge? Well, I can so get over it. I’m not out there singing or dancing or doing acrobatic stuff and pretending I’m good enough for my own show in Las Vegas.

But the best came last…sort of…but there was some good stuff….there really was.

No hunting tonight for the Vampires for it is Tuesday and summer so that means America’s Got Talent and Cocktails. We do this every summer so just go along with us. For those of you who don’t watch it is on NBC (in the USA or you can go online if you’re outside of the US.)

Last week Clara and I were on the road (at the US National Roller Skating Championships in Albuquerque, New Mexico) and we watched from the road. We liked all of the top four picks. Our favorite of course were the two precious, cute, wonderful, funny and amazing acrobats  the KriStef Brothers. Oh my goodness. I thought it was so cute that “mom” made the costumes. The Vampires of the universe hope these guys win.

Thank goodness that nasty “head” guy didn’t get voted on. Yuck. He was just pure yuck and a total hack.

We didn’t think Opera Guy Brandon James did his best but he was ok. Honestly Clara and I agreed that only Josh Groban can sing that song (You lift me up).  I think we’ll see bigger and better from Brandon in the future. We were so glad the darling and very young Anna Christine  made it. She is lovely and has a great voice. We also love love love the cute blue eyed 17 year old musician Collins Key. Yes, we’re happy.

SO what about tonight? And don’t spell check. I’ve already had cocktails…

hairy chest guyNick is wearing an awful suit so I’m providing another photo of a guy in a suit. And don’t try any of this at home – not the singing, not the sword swallowing, not the bad suits, not the crappy kid dancing, not the confusing acrobat tumbling girls, not any of it. What the F is going on tonight???? Wait a minute….can’t find the photo of the hot guy in a suit so you get the guy I just posted (the long haired hairy chest Vampire guy.)

I’m not going to list tonight’s line up. Look it up. If you watch the show with us you’ll know who was on. Due to my lack of time tonight I’m only going to list who we voted for.

This is the rundown on who we voted for:

Forte. With more practice they could be totally awesome. Loved them all. The really tall (newer to the group) guy was especially fantastic. Wow. Finally someone with talent! They have MY vote. Clara isn’t digging the velvet jackets.

Note: This year, and in the past, we’ve seen a lot of opera singers. I’m the only one in my family who truly loves opera, and I love Nessum Dorum and I love guitars sooooooo,  the ultimate, Jeff Beck is doing Nessum Dorum (I saw him do this live a few years ago in San Francisco, oh my goodness. I was transported.) Puccini would be proud. Or of course Brandon James was pretty good (not the best but better than most) this year on AGT. We liked Forte better. 

ALL of us really liked Angela Hoover, even Lola who is staying the night. She was funny and right on target with her humor. Howard didn’t like her but then again he liked some folks who sucked the big one tonight so his opinion, well, we don’t agree. Angela you’re awesome!

Dave Shirley – he made us laugh. He was fun. We liked him. He got a vote. Teddy yelled “you’re a stupid bitch” at one of the judges. Teddy is like that. I still love him.

The B Double Oh Tee Why Guys got our vote just because they made us laugh. It is the hit of the summer. Oh my goodness. Believe it or not! This was too funny.


Tomorrow we’ll see who wins.

We didn’t have cocktails tonight but my husband, the wine expert picked out a real find. He said it won a Gold at the California State Fair. Let it open a little. Yes it is a white wine but let it open. Write this down then go buy a case of it: 2012 Rock View reserve, Chardonnay, Mendocino. 

For Vampire cocktails click here or do a search on this blog.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Evolution – For the moon shines bright on those who love

starsI have to admit there have been times when I’ve stopped in my own tracks, dead still, heart almost stopped, cold and in a panic of remorse and dread thinking of something I did in the past. Then I close my eyes, take a deep breath and wonder who the Hell was that person I was a long time ago. She doesn’t exist, or at least not in that form.

Chocolate starts out as bitter dust but then one adds sugar or spices to become a sweet temptation or a wonderful mole. Then again, that is too easy of an analogy for Vampires, and Regular Humans for that matter.  We’re not  something to be merely spiced up. In fact, sometimes spicing up will only do damage and make something wonderful taste bad (or something bad taste even worse). The same goes for adding too much sugar.

I’ve been helping out some fellow Vampires lately – those who are new at being Vampires and those who are adjusting to the modern world we all share – that is what I do. Long story – but I’m fairly good at it.

My young Vampire friend Cody has done remarkably well. He and his ex-girlfriend became Vampires about two years ago. He made it through the change quite well both physically and emotionally. She, unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, not so well.

But things were not always so easy. Cody has a tremendous support system and has been given all the resources and training a new Vampire could every want or imagine. It saved his life and he can respect that.

Unfortunately not all new Vampires can adjust to the change, especially if it wasn’t their choice.

I wanted Cody to meet Matthew, a very old Vampire who has had to recently come into the Modern Vampire world. As we waited for Cody to arrive Matthew and I talked in quiet tones, close as Vampires do.

One can’t live in old castles and in the dark corners or shadows when one has a teenager.  Matthew was an old fashioned Vampire with a Modern Vampire son. This happens a lot. Not just with Vampires but with all sorts of people. Maybe not as much as in the 1960’s and 70’s (I’m just thinking about recent history you all might remember) but it happens. The world is constantly changing and it is always a challenge to parents.

Today was one of those “stop in your tracks” kind of days for Matthew, the old fashioned Vampire who was trying to be a Modern Vampire. On the surface he could pass for any 30 something guy who dressed better than average and looked a little more appealing than average.  Underneath he was a creature of darkness and cold, who’d lived that past few centuries more or less hiding out, lurking in the shadows, seeing the people who live in the light of day as both prey and predator.

When one who was born with a gentle soul is violently made to change into something that goes against the knowledge of everything they’ve ever known to be true, it takes a while getting used to. Stress and trauma can last for years.

Sometimes we must put aside what happened and move forward. Easier said than done. But we can’t let the trauma define us or enslave us or rule us. We accept it and move on – evolve to something new – something better – something stronger.

Like I just said, it is easier for me to write those words than to snap my fingers and make it happen. One can’t just say, “get over it” to someone and expect it to be a one size fits all answer for everything. That is just mean and often shows a total lack of understanding.

So back to my Vampires, for I do consider them mine, for that is what I do. I help Vampires who need help adjusting to new situations. New Vampires learning the ropes or old Vampires who wish to become more Modern. It isn’t easy – but it can be interesting and rewarding and a chance to discover one’s self. It is a chance to start over. It is an opportunity to clean out the cobwebs that clog one’s brain and heart.

Matthew is doing his best not to brood. Vampires are good at brooding – really good. But brooding isn’t productive or positive especially if one is a parent. Sorry to all of you brooders out there, but in my humble opinion (ok, not so humble) parents should not brood. And easy way to remember that is “don’t brood over your brood.”

But I’m getting off subject and don’t really even remember what I was going to write about much less a subject (so I’ll call it musings). Anyway…

Matthew talked of his son, born a Vampire, now without a mother, in a new town, a new school and 16 years old. Josh was such a typical Modern Vampire teen that I had to congratulate the awkward Matthew for doing such a good job. Matthew was definitely a master at what I call Deliberate Parenting – that is thinking about how you parent and how your child will fare in the world because of that.

The old Vampire Matthew had issues with his own life but he didn’t want to pass those issues on to his son.  He wanted his son to be strong and successful and most of all happy.

We talked quietly, Matthew and I.  It was the little things that he could relate to. He smiled when I told him Cody was getting romantically involved with my Grandmamma Lola (much to my chagrin.) Matthew had known Lola years ago, hundreds of years ago, before the Modern Vampire Movement. Anyway, we spoke of a lot of things and eventually I could see the cobwebs and shadows that covered his eyes start to vanish, especially when we spoke about his son Josh.

“I can sometimes remember before I was a Vampires,” Matthew began. “I wasn’t always the kind of person I want my son to be. I thought this was my punishment until I met Josh’s mother. She was so strong and wanted for both of us to make a new start through our own child. It seemed so unrealistic, but we were determined to be good parents and the kind of parents…” He looked away, unable to finish. I took his cold hand in mine.

“You’re a good father Matthew. You’re one of the best. Josh is a great kid.”

He squeezed my hand, just slightly, I could feel his heart speed up just a bit, from almost stopped to slow and steady.

So when it all comes down to it, our kids live now, and so we need to appreciate their world and help guide them into the future. For our children are the future – not only our future, but more so theirs.

And since the future belongs to all of us, we can put away any ghosts of our personal pasts that haunt us. For the moon shines bright on those who love, and learn and evolve and hope.

So today – go hug your kids, your friends, your parents, your cats…your Vampires.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Now What? Musings of a Modern Vampire Mom

night driveLast night my daughter and I returned home after a week-long road trip in the American Southwest. As we hit the California border it was like the entire world changed. Not that we don’t adore the great states of Arizona, Nevada (ok not all of Nevada but more on that later) and New Mexico.

Right after we hit the town of Truckee, CA we got out of the car and took in a deep breath of mountain air. The Sierra Nevada Mountain range means home for us, as do the rolling oak forests just down the hill where we live. But back to the woods – we could smell the pines so fresh and wonderful. The sky was full of a zillion stars.  A wonderful end to a wonderful trip.

We talked about a lot of things on our long trip, my daughter and I. Oxymorons was one subject she likes to talk about. Her latest is “Adult Male”. Makes sense considering her dad always tells her to remember those three little words “boys are stupid.”

So now what. I managed to blog a little on the trip. I manage to blog a little bit all the time. But now what? I feel as if I’ve lost my edge or gone on a different edge than I expected or completely gone over the edge with my blog.

This year I celebrated a year of blogging. This started out as a little blog I could put a half a dozen funny posts on. Then it became something more. I still don’t know what.

But lately, due to unforeseen weirdness, I feel like I’m floundering to get out my tall tales of kids, friends, family (all Vampires of course) and other things that concern the Vampire parent and others in our circle (even regular humans). I feel so listless.

All writers go through this, as well as artists (for I am an artist by trade.)

So what now? Back-to-school, cats, taking care of elders, concerns of Modern Vampires, the Vampire Ball…time will tell.

I heard on the radio that this is a good year for wine grapes. I like wine.

I also know this will be a good year for kids – for my kids and their friends (Vampire, Werewolf and Regular Humans,)

Oh right, for those of you who are new here, this is Musings of a Modern Vampire Mom. But please, I want you to stick around too if you’re not a Modern Vampire.

While driving for hours on end I thought of creative projects, of posts, of ideas I’d like to share with you. With any luck I’ll be able to do everything I thought of.

I’d also like to read more blogs from others – something I love to do but have not had enough time lately to do (or had computer issues which need to be fixed so I can view what I want to see in a timely manner. I’m a Vampire not a computer expert.)

So today I will check in on the Elders and spend the day with my children (who are now in back-to-school mode in a big way) and unwind. I don’t even want to think about checking my email (back to work tomorrow).

The days are hot but the nights are cool this time of year. Perfect for nocturnal creatures of all kinds and perfect for refreshing the heart and soul and creative spirit – especially if you’re a Vampire Maman.


~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Vampire Maman


The Secretary

Wonderful Writing Space Ward-20130722-01882

Click on the link above – From my friend, writer and REAL blogger Gina McKnight…





If you’re looking for Short Story Sunday or Vampires or Advice on Love, Parenting and other Weird Stuff….Click here, or just explore this blog.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman


Leaving Las Vegas – Vampire Style

lipsI went to a RAVE tonight. I usually don’t do this sort of thing. I used to, but now that I’m a responsible parent… I know it all sounds like BS and a lot of it is…BUT as I’ve explained before, sometimes a Vampire Chick has to do what a Vampire Chick has to do. Nasty business. Thank goodness for girlfriends – girlfriends are the best.

I’m not a “Rave” person. I don’t like the electronic music (as my daughter says “guys who dress up, slutty girls and electronic music that nobody knows the words to.”) or the noise and confusion. But on the other hand, if you’re a Vampire it is the proverbial “Free Lunch”. Except for tonight. Free Lunch will be a thing of the past for one Vampire we know.

So my lovely golden-haired friend Amelia, tall darkly blonde and beautiful tells me that “Don” the worst kind of sleazy, gold chain wearing, silk suited, player with pinky rings, asshole, violent, disgusting, womanizing Vampire is now back in Las Vegas. Sheesh. Both the enforcer Vampires AND the Vampire Hunters have been after this guy for ages.  And yes, they have even worked together to get rid of this slime ball who always seems to slip between their fingers.

Oh, right, you MAY consider this “Short Story Sunday” or you can just consider it a tall tale or THE HONEST AND COMPLETE TRUTH. It is your call. Do what makes you comfortable.

Anyway, Amelia is my soul mate sort of friend who lives in Las Vegas with her child and wonderful husband (they’re Vampires too). Click here for a little back story of this trip.

So night comes complete with a full moon over the Nevada desert and Amelia and I drop the kids off at the water park for some night-time fun. Then we go back to the house and change into our little black dresses, heels, full makeup and we’re ready for business.

“I hear Don has a twice the size of life statue of himself posing as David.” Amelia tells me this with a straight face.

Don is attractive despite the sleaze but this information almost makes me throw up a bit in my mouth. Yuck. Double yuck.

So we, Amelia and I head down the Las Vegas Strip to an exotic location where there is a RAVE going on. The guys will dress at this one, good suits, tux material, hot and tasty. The girls all dress like sluts including fluffy leg warmers and short short short plaid school girls skirts. They ALL dress like sluts. In fact, we’re the least slutty in our micro mini skin-tight black dresses and 6 inch heels. Hers are red. Mine are deep midnight blue with bows. I like bows.

The music is deafening even for Vampires. Yes, there are a few other Vampires here in this shoulder to shoulder crowd. There are a few just hanging with other Vampires, looking for love and dinner all in one. They love their dinner. Anyway, enough of bad jokes…there are a few local Vampires but they had no idea why we’re there. In fact, we don’t let on that we’re there. We’re on a mission.

We watch people dance and flirt. Amelia nudges me to look across the room. There he is, looking like some sort of overly handsome Italian model in his expensive suit with the collar just so and diamonds in his French cuffs. We go to this exquisite piece of human manliness and flank his sides then each one of us grabs and arm. He looks at us startled. My nails dig into his jacket. I don’t damage a thread of the expensive wool and silk blend but I draw blood. I can smell it and feel it seeping through the fabric. I can smell the panic on him. He can’t get away. His name is Alan and he is a Vampire Hunter.

We lead him to a dark corner where Amelia whispers “You need to listen to us.” Then she kisses his neck, which totally freaks him out, but he doesn’t show it.

I show him a bit of fang and hook my eyes on his. “Listen Alan, we’re on your side tonight. We’re here to help you find Don. We will do everything we can to help you get rid of him. Just him, not the other Vampires. They won’t harm anyone. Don harms everyone, regular human, Vampire, Werewolf – everyone.”

Alan says “Why should I trust you.”

I tell him “I’m Juliette,Maxwell Todd’s sister.” Max is my brother and a big bad Vampire and an “enforcer”. Max is a Vampire but he also hunts down bad Vampires. Sometimes, I’ve been known to help him out with rogue Vampires, among other things. “I can smell the fear on you Alan. Don’t be afraid. I know you have a job to do. I know you know Max. We’re here to help in whatever way we can. OK?”

“OK” said Alan, with a grim smile. He looked at my friend. “You must be Amelia. I’ve heard about you. You’re famous in these parts. I have to say I’m in awe.”

Amelia just smiled. “Come on lover boy, let’s catch us a Rogue Vampire.”

We make our way through the exceptionally trendy and wild crowd of 20 somethings. Our eyes look for the dark-haired, dark-eyed Vampire called Don. We spot him with a girl, a red-haired girl in a red dress and a bird of paradise inked on her shoulder. She is enchanted by the Vampire Don. She is in danger, big time. If Don doesn’t kill her he might make her one of his minions, a fate, yes a fate worse than death.

I take Alan’s hand and fold in three silver bullets and then bring it up to my lips and kiss his folded fist. “Alan, these are special. They can kill him if you get his heart or hit him through one of his eyes. Or you can cut his head off and burn his body. The choice is yours. I’ve sent you a message with a number you can reach me. If you need anything call me.”

“I owe you,” he said, “Both of you.”

“We’ll owe you too Vampire Hunter. But remember, if you ever go after us or any Vampire like us we’ll…”

“I understand,” said Alan. Then he did the unthinkable and kissed Amelia right on the mouth.

Yes, she did smile. “We’re done here.” She said, that as we watched Alan make his way through the crowd.

“Not bad for a regular human,” I said.

“His heart is in the right place. I just hope he knows what he is up against.”

“I think he knows. I do indeed think he knows.”

We made our way back through the crowd to the outside world. I looked at my watch. “Do you think we should go pick up the kids now?”

She smiled. “Good idea. And if we have time we can go on some of the big water slides.”

Good idea.

Tomorrow I head home, I will leave Las Vegas but I always leave a little piece of my heart behind. Thanks for all of your help and inspiration Amelia. We had a great time!

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Vampire Roadtrip

Vampire Roadtrip