Burning Question #45: What’s under your kilt?

January 12, 2019 by Juliette Kings

Animals have been hanging around on Earth for about 560 million years. During that time we’ve seen a lot of critters come and go. From humongous dinosaurs to Neanderthals some failed to make it in their pure original form.

Be my Neanderthal baby.

Others fared better. Opossums, elephant shrews (I posted a nice little video of one here), crocodiles, horseshoe crabs, snapping turtles, and a multitude of animals are still around after millions of years, just hanging out, doing their thing. In fact, it seems like every year someone finds some weird shark, fish, or bug that hasn’t been seen since T-Rex was the baddest ass in town.

Many creatures have extremely curious background. If you’re a human with blue eyes you more than likely have some Neanderthal DNA in your system. Some dogs can be traced back to wolves, and then there are Pugs. You gotta love them all. Of course I have to mention Vampires who, many thousands of years ago, jumped up a little bit higher on the old evolutionary scale.

Then there are those creatures few have seen and nobody has any fossil or otherwise evidence such as Sasquatch and his buddy the Chupacabra, and of course Mermaids. Who wouldn’t like to find a Mermaid?.

And last but not least, there are some creatures who never died but are just hiding, and waiting….

Which brings us to BURNING QUESTION #45, with it’s misleading title.

YES, we are going to Scotland to solve a MYSTERY. However, that mystery is not to find out what is under Hamish’s kilt.

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We’re not here to find out what is under Hamish’s kilt, though we’re mighty curious.

We’re talking about Nessie, otherwise know as the LOCH NESS MONSTER.

As we all know the Loch Ness Monster or Nessie is a creature said to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. Nessie is often described as large in size with a long neck and one or more humps protruding from the water. My husband Teddy and I still make jokes about it due to the fact that once after too many glasses of wine I called her the Lost Neck Monster.” We’ve caller her Neckie ever since.

1933 photos were taken of the creature (since proved to be bunk) and since then even more photos have been taken, not to mention hundreds of documentaries, books, etc. . Evidence of Neckie, I mean Nessie is a mixed bag of fiction and a lot of stuff that just might be true.

Seriously folks, I’m a Vampire so I’m always open to this kind of stuff. I asked Tellias about it and he just shrugged and told me to go find a Selkie. Tellias never tells me anything until he is ready to tell me. On the other hand Selkies are as real as I am. But back to the Scotland…

I always like the idea of Loch Ness because it is a lake that looks like a lot of beautiful lakes in Northern California (where I live.) Loch Ness is also extremely DEEP, which makes it mysterious. Plus there are castles. Everyone likes castles. And everyone also like SEA MONSTERS.

For centuries people have been seeing weird things in Loch Ness. Some have even taken photos, which then turned out to be fake. But you never know. I know you WANT to believe something huge and amazing is down there in that cold dark water.

Could there really be something living in the depths of Loch Ness, in Scotland?

Burning Question #45: Is the Loch Ness Monster Really A Well Hidden Dinosaur?

Want more information about big mysterious things in fresh water? Check out this list I “borrowed” from Wikipedia. Well-known lake monsters include:

Nessie, in Loch Ness, Scotland
Morag, in Loch Morar, Scotland
Lagarfljót Worm, in Lagarfljót, Iceland
Ogopogo, in Okanagan Lake, Canada
Lariosauro, in Lake Como, Italy
Champ, in Lake Champlain, Canada and US
Memphre, in Lake Memphremagog, Canada and US
Bessie, in Lake Erie, Canada and US
Nahuelito, in Nahuel Huapi Lake, Argentina
Muyso or Monster of Lake Tota, in Lake Tota, Colombia
Van Gölü Canavarı or Lake Van Monster, in Lake Van, Turkey
Inkanyamba, in Howick Falls, South Africa
Tahoe Tessie, in Lake Tahoe, US
Flathead Lake Monster, Flathead Lake, Montana, US

Loch Ness, Scotland. By the way, a Loch is a Lake.

Now that you’ve pondered another BURNING QUESTION and rocked your world, please share your comments, opinions, possum stories, tell us about that bad date, or about the time YOU saw a Bigfoot, Mothman, or a dinosaur. Hey, don’t laugh. I saw a dinosaur last time I was driving near the Utah/Colorado border. I even took a photo.

Yes, I saw this right in the middle of the day and took this photo. Believe it or not! I can’t make this shit up.

One more thing… I want to thank Mandy White for suggesting this question.

Thanks everyone for dropping by. See you next week for Burning Question #46.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Burning Question #10: Humorous Byproducts

May 19, 2018 by Juliette Kings

This week I want you to make sure your thinking caps are secure. It is time for Burning Question #10.

We’re going to be conscious about the seriousness of this question today. We’re also going to try to stay awake, which is another type of consciousness. We’re going to try to keep our humor about ourselves. And we’re going to all get along or something weird with Vampires might happen and you don’t want THAT.

Excuse me, um yes, we’re going to be philosophical today. On a personal note, true story, I used to date a guy who knew everything about Kant. On a parenting note tell your kids not to date philosophy majors. But I Kant* talk about that now…

Burning Question #10: Is a sense of humor a byproduct of consciousness or something else entirely?

And then there are cats but they aren’t part of this question. That is another question entirely. Dogs are included in that as well. But are cats and dogs even conscious of their own existence? Do they have a sense of humor? The answer is YES and YES on both, at least for cats. OK for dogs too. Cats are just such assholes that they don’t give a shit what anybody thinks but they’ll eat your byproducts (so will dogs.)

This has been the 10th of 50 Burning Questions. Only 40 more Burning Questions to go. See you next Saturday for #11.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

*Kant didn’t say any of this and is no doubt now rolling over in his grave right now, or he might be laughing. You never know. His name just makes for a great pun.

Burning Question #6: Fish Tails

April 21, 2018 by Juliette Kings

It is Saturday which means it is time for you to answer a BURNING QUESTION. It is TIME for ANSWERS.

Today’s rather fishy question is #6 of 50 Burning Questions to be featured RIGHT HERE on Vampiremaman.com. Keep checking back every single Saturday until we reach FIFTY.

Do the POLL. Yes, you MUST answer the question. It is fast, easy, guilt free, and your information will not be sold unless I can get a lot of money for it.

And now for something to leave a bad taste in your mouth…

Mermaids live in the ocean. The upper half is human and the bottom half is fish. If you’re going to be biologically correct the bottom half would be, theoretically, more like a dolphin or whale tail, or maybe even a seal, because mermaids evolved from mammal humans (duh.) But you never know, it might have scales and be like a fish.

Humans have long been fascinated with mermaids. They have been pictured as seductive dames of the sea, and as nasty horrible creatures who’d rather bite and pull you under the sea than have a civil conversation with you. This includes both mermaids and merguys. They’re kind of like us, but they’re not really human. Or maybe they’re half human. Or maybe their DNA is 99.99% human. Or maybe their DNA is 99% salmon. Not really, but you never know. They could have evolved from Neanderthals for all we know, and as we all know everyone with blue/hazel/green/non-brown eyes has a little bit of Neanderthal in them. THAT is a scientific fact.

Or, and you never know, mermaids might be vampires who were driven into the sea by hordes of haters who just didn’t want to sit down and talk it out. For heaven sakes why can’t we all just all get along and be friends?

Be my Neanderthal baby.

So that brings up some interesting questions, including today’s Burning Question.

Burning Question #6: If you eat a mermaid is it cannibalism?

No matter what your answer you’ll be shouting “Winner! Winner! Mermaid Dinner!”

Have fun everyone and don’t get too close to dark water, or dark eyed children with fish tails for that matter. You know how strange life in dark waters can be.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Scary Halloween Color-and-Cut Fun

September 30, 2016 by Juliette Kings

Halloween is almost here so to get you in the mood here are some color-and-cut Halloween paper dolls I drew a while back. I’ll have a few new spooky paper pals in October. In the meantime have fun.