Cut and Color Spooky Halloween Fun from Juliette aka Vampire Maman

After yesterday’s post with the wonderful art of Jason Kemp, I thought I’d entertain you today with some of my own pen scratchings. Just for fun.

Halloween is almost here so to get you in the mood here are some color-and-cut Halloween paper dolls I drew a while back. I’ll have a few new spooky paper pals in October.

Ghost Party

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Ghostie Fashion Paper Doll. Color an Cut Fun.

Punkin Heads

punkin-heads

punkin-heads suits

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Werewolf and Mermaid

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h_creatures_magic

Zombie Girl

zombie_girl doll

z_girl

z_girl 2

Alien Girl

space girl

alein togs 1 alein togs 2

Have fun,

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Short Story Sunday: Morcant and the Mermaid

Tangled Tales

Druce held out his arm while his friend Morcant cleaned and bandaged the wounds. “I was out fishing on the rocks. She’d been coming there to meet me for the past few months. At first she’d just poke her head out of the water and look at me for a bit then swim away. After the third or fourth time I got her to come closer. She spoke to me in our language. Sure, her voice was sort of high and irritating but I got used to it.”

“No wonder you’d been fishing so much lately. What did she look like?”

“Bright sea blue eyes, hair the color of a new spring leaf, and skin iridescent like a pearl. I’ve seen pearls Morcant, I know that beauty.  And speaking of beautiful round objects, her breasts were perfect, tipped with spectacular blue nipples.”

“That is all a fine fantasy but below the waist she’s a fucking fish.”

“Warm like a dolphin.”

“You didn’t. No. Tell me you didn’t.”

“Just a kiss, on salt touched lips.”

“Then she nearly ate your arm. What is wrong with you Druce?”

“I didn’t expect her to bite me.”

“Did she give you her name?”

“Pook.”

“Bloody great. I know her. Nothing but trouble that one.”

“I’m sure it was just an accident or a misunderstanding.”

“No. She intended to drag you down to her home and eat you, or worse. Druce, for a Warlock you can be insanely gullible when it comes to a pretty face and a pair of tits. I’ll make you some healing tea so you won’t end up with arm rot or some other disgusting Mermaid crud.”

Morcant made the brew for his friend then tucked him into bed and headed towards the beach.

Being a Selkie, Morcant knew all about the charms of women. They couldn’t resist him. That was the way of Selkies. But there was also something about Druce that women liked. He wasn’t the tallest or the most handsome man in the village, but he had a boyish charm females loved. Maybe it was his bright eyes, quick smile, or those dimples, or even the messy sun streaked hair. It could even have been the fact that he was the keeper of magic. Who knows. Maybe it was his sense of humor. All of that considered, Druce couldn’t keep it under his tunic and was always having troubles with women.

Upon arriving at the shore Morcant drew the seal skin from his shoulders and wrapped it around his entire body. His toes touched the salt water and he turned into a seal. That is what Selkies do. They are seals in the ocean, and on the land they carry their seal skins and walk as humans. They’re remarkably attractive in their human form. Unfortunately if someone steals the skin of a Selkie then they can hold the Selkie as their slave. But that last fact is neither here nor there for this story.

Morcant the seal dove down deep into the ocean. He knew where to go. He knew where the Merfolk lived.

When he saw Pook with her green hair and blue tipped breasts he grabbed her hair in his mouth and dragged her up to the surface of the ocean.

Letting go of her hair Morcant showed his large seal teeth to Look.

“You’re such an attractive seal,” she said to him in her tiny voice. “Sooooooo attractive. My tail has an itch that only a Selkie Seal can scratch.”

Morcant growled a low seal growl. “You nearly killed my friend. You have no business perusing Druce and making him fall in love with you. You’re not a human woman and have no business with him.”

Pook grinned at him showing her pointed teeth. She reminded Morcant of a shark. “What will you give me to keep away?”

Morcant grabbed Pook by the hair and spoke between his seal teeth. “I will drag you to the beach and then give you to men who will put you in a cage and drag you across the land. People will pay to see you and look at you in horror as your lovely skin dries up, and then you become nothing but a piece of dried salted cod. THAT is what I will give you.”

Pulling her hair away Pook screamed a high pitched scream that would break glass then swam off.

Later, in human form, Morcant checked in on his friend Druce. The Warlock was sleeping soundly.

The sound of the waves lulled Morcant into a slumber filled with dreams of calm oceans, and warm human women.

At the bottom of the sea the Mermaids sang their high pitched songs while they drank their brew out of polished shells. Pook brushed off her pride and picked out a Merman to share the night with. She thought of Druce and his adorable dimples, and sun kissed hair. Her heart fluttered a bit and she felt oddly in love with the man with legs. Then again, what would she do with legs? She had no idea, so she swam into the night, tending her broken heart, in the arms of her new Merman lover.

~ end

 

For more about Morcant and Druce CLICK HERE.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

 

 

 

Burning Questions #56: Dancing With The Heavenly Bodies

Welcome to Vampire Maman’s Famous BURNING QUESTIONS.

Get on your dancing shoes (or roller skates) and come with me…

Dancing With the Stars Devil Angels.

This week we’re getting into the realm of Dan Brown. Just kidding, we’re not looking for clues, or even a best seller. We’re just looking for an answer, clues or not. It doesn’t have to even be the right answer, because this is a BURNING QUESTION and there might now even be an answer. Sorry Dan (but I did get ALL of the answers in DiVinci Code because, you know, I’m a Vampire and I’m good at figuring stuff out.)

 

Let’s Get Physical. Maybe not. I hate that song. On the other hand maybe we should get metaphysical, or metaphorical, or just think about something we have no answer for.

From Wikipedia:

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?” (alternatively “How many angels can stand on the point of a pin?”) is a reductio ad absurdum challenge to medieval scholasticism in general, and its angelology in particular, as represented by figures such as Duns Scotus and Thomas Aquinas. It is first recorded in the 17th century, in the context of Protestant apologetics. It also has been linked to the fall of Constantinople, with the imagery of scholars debating while the Turks besieged the city.[4][5]

In modern usage, the term has lost its theological context and is used as a metaphor for wasting time debating topics of no practical value, or questions whose answers hold no intellectual consequence, while more urgent concerns accumulate.

So let’s waste some time. If you want to get wasted you may do that as well.

BURNING QUESTION #56: How Many Angels Can Dance On The Head Of A Pin

 

 

With all of these great musical bits I forgot a picture of an angel. Who doesn’t like angels. Who doesn’t like angel food cake. Do angels eat angel food cake? Do they eat Devil’s food cake?  That is a Burning Question for another day.

 

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Now for one of my favorite numbers, with or without anyone on the head of a pin. Seriously folks, you can’t get better than Fred and Ginger.

Put your answer on the poll. Don’t worry – nobody is going to take down your information. What the crap would I do with it anyway?

Leave your comments, musings, questions, song suggestions, dance steps, recipes, stories, and whatever you wish in the comments section below.

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Have fun and Diamond Dave and I will see you next week for another BURNING QUESTION.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Burning Question #50: Do you dare to believe?

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Are you ready?

Today is the day for 50 Burning Questions to come to an end with Burning Question #50.

So I’ll make this quick. In turn, I expect you to put your answer on the poll, AND leave a comment about your favorite, or least favorite conspiracy theory. Below are just a few to jog your memory. We’ll celebrate when we’ve all clicked on an answer. And as almost always you can vote more than once.

Trained companion dogs rigged the elections. Truman Capote wrote To Kill A Mocking Bird. Eric Trump is a Vampire. Abraham Lincoln did all kinds of activities both alive and dead that we’ll never know about. Ancient Aliens came to Europe in the Middle Ages. Ancient Aliens of course, but I’m not sure if any Young Aliens were around. Meriwether Lewis was murdered. Elvis is ALIVE. Cats control everything. Jess Sessions. Area 51. The Beatles never existed. Jerry Brown and Diane Feinstein are brother and sister. Marilyn Monroe was murdered by the Kennedy brothers. Aliens are everywhere. The Masons rule the world. JFK is still alive. A secret race of reptiles control the Earth from underground cities. Shriners rule the world – Ask Dan Brown about that. Believe in the Smoking Man. Bigfoot. Flat Earth. Men in black suits. And the list goes on and on and on and on.

 

 

Seriously folks, I know who is a Vampire and wrote Shakespeare’s Plays.

 

Burning Question #50: Do you believe any conspiracy theories?

(Just answer the silly poll. I won’t sell your information or text SPAM to your phone.)

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Thank you everyone for coming back week after week after week for all 50 BURNING QUESTIONS.

And the mermaid thanks you too.

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Feel free to leave a comment, tell a lie, tell me your crazy conspiracy theory, tell me a secret, tell a joke, make a comment, or just say something you’re BURNING to say. What were your favorite Burning Questions?

From time to time I will be asking compelling questions and posting more fun polls. The more you visit me the more you get to vote (more conspiracy theories here.)

Click HERE for ALL of the 50 Burning Questions.

xoxoxox

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

juliette

Burning Question #45: What’s under your kilt?

Animals have been hanging around on Earth for about 560 million years. During that time we’ve seen a lot of critters come and go. From humongous dinosaurs to Neanderthals some failed to make it in their pure original form.

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Be my Neanderthal baby.

Others fared better. Opossums, elephant shrews (I posted a nice little video of one here), crocodiles, horseshoe crabs, snapping turtles, and a multitude of animals are still around after millions of years, just hanging out, doing their thing. In fact, it seems like every year someone finds some weird shark, fish, or bug that hasn’t been seen since T-Rex was the baddest ass in town.

Many creatures have extremely curious background. If you’re a human with blue eyes you more than likely have some Neanderthal DNA in your system. Some dogs can be traced back to wolves, and then there are Pugs. You gotta love them all. Of course I have to mention Vampires who, many thousands of years ago, jumped up a little bit higher on the old evolutionary scale.

Then there are those creatures few have seen and nobody has any fossil or otherwise evidence such as Sasquatch and his buddy the Chupacabra, and of course Mermaids. Who wouldn’t like to find a Mermaid?.

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And last but not least, there are some creatures who never died but are just hiding, and waiting….

Which brings us to BURNING QUESTION #45, with it’s misleading title.

YES, we are going to Scotland to solve a MYSTERY. However, that mystery is not to find out what is under Hamish’s kilt.

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We’re not here to find out what is under Hamish’s kilt, though we’re mighty curious.

We’re talking about Nessie, otherwise know as the LOCH NESS MONSTER.

As we all know the Loch Ness Monster or Nessie is a creature said to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. Nessie is often described as large in size with a long neck and one or more humps protruding from the water. My husband Teddy and I still make jokes about it due to the fact that once after too many glasses of wine I called her the Lost Neck Monster.” We’ve caller her Neckie ever since.

1933 photos were taken of the creature (since proved to be bunk) and since then even more photos have been taken, not to mention hundreds of documentaries, books, etc. . Evidence of Neckie, I mean Nessie is a mixed bag of fiction and a lot of stuff that just might be true.

Seriously folks, I’m a Vampire so I’m always open to this kind of stuff. I asked Tellias about it and he just shrugged and told me to go find a Selkie. Tellias never tells me anything until he is ready to tell me. On the other hand Selkies are as real as I am. But back to the Scotland…

I always like the idea of Loch Ness because it is a lake that looks like a lot of beautiful lakes in Northern California (where I live.) Loch Ness is also extremely DEEP, which makes it mysterious. Plus there are castles. Everyone likes castles. And everyone also like SEA MONSTERS.

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For centuries people have been seeing weird things in Loch Ness. Some have even taken photos, which then turned out to be fake. But you never know. I know you WANT to believe something huge and amazing is down there in that cold dark water.

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Could there really be something living in the depths of Loch Ness, in Scotland?

Burning Question #45: Is the Loch Ness Monster Really A Well Hidden Dinosaur?

sea-life-poster-800x579

 

 

Want more information about big mysterious things in fresh water? Check out this list I “borrowed” from Wikipedia. Well-known lake monsters include:

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Loch Ness, Scotland. By the way, a Loch is a Lake.

Now that you’ve pondered another BURNING QUESTION and rocked your world, please share your comments, opinions, possum stories, tell us about that bad date, or about the time YOU saw a Bigfoot, Mothman, or a dinosaur. Hey, don’t laugh. I saw a dinosaur last time I was driving near the Utah/Colorado border. I even took a photo.

Dinosaurs

Yes, I saw this right in the middle of the day and took this photo. Believe it or not! I can’t make this shit up.

One more thing… I want to thank Mandy White for suggesting this question.

Thanks everyone for dropping by. See you next week for Burning Question #46.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

Burning Question #10: Humorous Byproducts

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This week I want you to make sure your thinking caps are secure. It is time for Burning Question #10.

We’re going to be conscious about the seriousness of this question today. We’re also going to try to stay awake, which is another type of consciousness. We’re going to try to keep our humor about ourselves. And we’re going to all get along or something weird with Vampires might happen and you don’t want THAT.

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Excuse me, um yes, we’re going to be philosophical today. On a personal note, true story, I used to date a guy who knew everything about Kant. On a parenting note tell your kids not to date philosophy majors. But I Kant* talk about that now…

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Burning Question #10: Is a sense of humor a byproduct of consciousness or something else entirely?

 

 

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And then there are cats but they aren’t part of this question. That is another question entirely. Dogs are included in that as well. But are cats and dogs even conscious of their own existence? Do they have a sense of humor? The answer is YES and YES on both, at least for cats. OK for dogs too. Cats are just such assholes that they don’t give a shit what anybody thinks but they’ll eat your byproducts (so will dogs.)

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This has been the 10th of 50 Burning Questions. Only 40 more Burning Questions to go. See you next Saturday for #11.

~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman

 

*Kant didn’t say any of this and is no doubt now rolling over in his grave right now, or he might be laughing. You never know. His name just makes for a great pun.