A NEW Saturday Series from Vampire Maman
These posts will feature random, useless, and unscientific surveys for absolutely no good reason at all.
Politics As Usual
Later this year there is going to be an election for the position of President of the United States. I don’t need to tell you about the cluster fuck it has become deciding who will get the office or stay in the office or go to jail. This insanity and nonsense has been going on for some time. We’ve heard about the childish tweets. We’ve seen the useless debates. We’re all sick and tired of it. Another revolution would be impractical and take too long. The voice of reason is nowhere to be heard. So what should we do now? Let’s vote TODAY!!!!
Random Survey #1: If you were voting today for the office of President of the United States of America TODAY who would you vote for?
As an added bonus you don’t even need to be a citizen of the United States to answer, and you can select more than one answer.
If you didn’t like any of these answers I really can’t help you. On the other hand you are welcome to leave your opinion, a comment, a joke, a story about your last vacation, tell us what your cat did this morning, or whatever you want – just put it in the comment section.
I will see you next Saturday for another RANDOM SURVEY. I promise it won’t be about politics.
And if you vote YOU GET A STICKER. And if you vote by mail you can feel good about yourself knowing that you voted.
My message is for everyone to VOTE on Tuesday. I might not agree with you or even respect your opinions BUT I DO respect your right to vote. I honor your right to vote. And remember…there are people in other countries who DIE for their right to vote (yes, that still happens).
Also do your RESEARCH. Know WHO and WHAT you are voting on. The ads on TV and the radio don’t tell the truth or only tell half truths. Don’t listen to actors or comedians or late night talk show hosts or haters. Listen to the words of the people running for office. Look at their records. Look at the facts. The better informed you are the better you’ll feel when you vote.
Don’t be IGNORANT. It isn’t attractive. I always tell my children to never date anyone who doesn’t vote. Yes, I do have strong opinions on this subject.
Burning Question #35: Are you going to vote?
By the way, I’m working as a Poll Officer on Saturday, Monday, and on Tuesday. THAT is how much I care about this. And yes, we do take an oath to make sure you get to vote. Also, don’t yell at your local poll workers – they don’t make the rules. Call your local county officials and yell at them.
My husband Teddy, Cody (our Vampire in training – a new Vampire from the Silicone Valley), Lola (my great great great grandmother), my brother Val and the two extremely elderly Vampires (who were sitting on the floor doing bead work or something crafty).
Cody asked “You’re all US citizens, right?.”
“Of course we are,” said my husband Teddy.
“You were born in Panama.” Teddy always thought that was one of the cool things about Teddy.
My parents were US citizens. I was born along the way when they headed out for the Gold Rush in 1849. That made me a citizen of the United States, because my parents were citizens.
“What about you?” He asked Lola and the ancient ones.
“I was born in Rome but I have lived here since 1801.” Lola’s father was a Pope a very long time ago but that is another post.
“The places we were born don’t exist anymore, at least not as cities.” Called one of the ancient Vampires from the floor.
“Vampires vote.” I said. “As do Werewolves. We all work, pay taxes, send our kids to public schools. We drive on the roads, use the parks, need law enforcement and the help of the fire departments. And there aren’t enough of us to help with National Defense. So of course we vote.”
“We pay taxes,” said Val, “more than our share.”
“What about ghosts?” Cody just had to ask.
“They’re dead.” We all said that at once.
“If they’re not quite dead yet they can vote, but if they’re dead with complete brain failure and their soul is gone they can’t vote.” I said
“Do Vampires ever run for office?” Cody looked at all of us.
Val answered. “We have but it isn’t a good idea these days with the media being all over the private lives of those running.”
“It could endanger us all,” I said. “We prefer to work in the background. After all, more often than not it is the background people who make the decisions and really run the show.”
“Has there ever been a Vampire president?” Cody asked.
“Not a president but there have been a few elected officials in high places,” Lola answered. She would know. “A Vice President or two.”
“Why don’t we just come out of the closet?” Cody was new to all of this. The new ones always ask this question time and time again.
“They’d kill us,” said Val. “That or try to put us in camps. It would be a blood bath. No pun intended.”
“People are afraid of what they don’t understand.” The elders said in unison in their quiet musical voices.
“And most people don’t want to understand,” I added.
Teddy looked up and took off his reading glasses. “It is easier to stay ignorant than informed. So let’s get back to the facts.”
So we sat with our voter books and laptops and did our research. Most of us had made up or minds but it was always good to take another look.
Due to the fact that I’m incredibly tacky and that this is one of the best bands I’ve ever seen live I’m starting this week’s Burning Question with some introduction music.
I know it doesn’t really have anything to do with this but…
This blog is known for fourfive seven things:
Vampires (and parenting)
Love Letters (and parenting and vampires)
Short Stories (and parenting and vampires)
Taking your kids to rock concerts (parenting)
Romance (with vampires, and on rare occasions parents who are romantic with each other)
Burning Questions (with vampires and maybe parenting and mermaids)
Burning Question #33 (out of 50) is a last minute thing since the Internet was down for about 24 hours at my house. Even an old (almost 160 year old Vampire) like me needs the Internet. Sure I read, talk to my family, listen to Science Friday, pet my cat, play with my dog, but the Internet was DOWN all over the neighborhood. I live at the end of the line and in an Internet desert where our only choices are well, they’re crappy. So enough with excuses.
Oh, one more thing… after the poll, which I expect you to answer, I have posted something I wrote a while back about romance with Vampires. You can learn a lot from it. If you change your mind after reading it you can do the poll again (get out of the page then get back in.)
Kissed by a Vampire
Burning Question #33: Would you kiss a Vampire?
Your Homework Assignment (read it and tell me about it)
Love Bites, Love Bleeds, Falling In Love With A Vampire
Falling in love with a Vampire can suck. It bites. Vampires will leave you cold and in the dark. A Vampire lover will leave you drained and feeling dead inside.
All puns aside, it isn’t a good idea. For the most part, ok for all part, Vampires are cold-blooded predators. Sure we’re sweet and charming and fun to be around, but the embrace of a Vampire is dangerous place to trust your heart and soul. Well, of course unless you ARE a Vampire then the arms of a Vampire is the perfect place to be.
If you’re alive, I mean, a Regular Human, and if you’re lucky, a Vampire lover will leave you feeling the most alive you’ve ever felt. You’ll feel like you want to live forever. Your Vampire lover will fascinate you in every way imaginable.
Proceed with caution, for that good feeling will become like the highest high you’ve ever felt. The cold touch of your Vampire lover will be like the worst of the worst of addictive drugs. It will be both the beginning and the end of you. Then again, sometimes it can be just a normal strange relationship. It depends on how strong both parties are and what the end game is for both parties.
Kind of breaks your heart. I mean, it broke my heart.
Vampires also become attached to humans, especially the young and new. We love knowing that things will change. We won’t change much but everyone else does.
There are those who keep their hearts cold to the warm-blooded kin, but that makes for a dull existence lacking the richness one gets from the company of others who are different and alive (so to speak.)
Sometimes we just can’t help it. I mean, can anyone help who they fall in love with? My own brother Andy spent 40 years with a woman who died a natural death, old for her time. She never allowed him to change her. He never left her. She knew the risks but also the rewards of loving a Vampire. Andy still speaks of her. It is heart breaking but at the same time, I am rewarded in the knowledge that they found real love. But what the found was rare. It was rare for anyone.
Then again, let me muse here a bit, falling in love with a Vampire carries risk. Let me tell you the risks.
You might die in the arms of your lover from blood loss, or alone in a back alley.
And you could return undead, without a soul of your own, a shadow in the dark.
Or you could end up like your Vampire lover and be part of his/her life for centuries, but that rarely happens. Rarely. More than likely you’ll still get dumped and find yourself in a strange world all alone. It is just all in a day’s work for a Vampire.
Now answer the poll and tell me what you think.
~ Juliette aka Vampire Maman
No, this is not you and your Vampire girlfriend. It is not going to be like this. You’re just a dude in love with someone you have no business being with. Run away. Run away. She has fangs. Run away. But then again if you’re in love with her…
It is time for #14 of 50 Burning Questions. Happy Saturday. Now get ready for an emotional roller coaster.
Today I submit one of the most divisive burning questions in the history of the universe.
Traditional Italian vs Hawaiian. No this has nothing to do with soccer or volcanos. It has everything to do with PIZZA.
Burning Question #14: Should Pineapple Be Allowed On Pizza?
I hope I haven’t caused any riots. Please, listen to Israel sing. It will make you feel happy, even a world where a simple pizza topping can tear families and friendships apart.
In the meantime please feel free to leave comments. Let me know what your favorite pizza toppings are, where you favorite pizza joint is, or anything else you need to say.
I’ll see you next Saturday for Burning Question #15.
Oh, and by the way you can get your pineapple coconut and Thai tea ice cream at Gunther’s in Sacramento, CA. They make their own ice cream. Loads of flavors. Gunther’s has been there since 1940 – they know what they’re doing. To make it even better Gunther’s is fairly close to the Old Sacramento City Cemetery AND the Sacramento Zoo so you can make a day of it.
With all of the debates and crazy and totally insane political crap going on right now it is high time I do an official political poll. You may choose one or more answers and you may do the polls as many times as you want (to make sure it is fair and completely scientific.)
What is your favorite trait in a politician?
What is your favorite trait in a Vampire?
If everybody running for President of the United States VANISHED today, who do you think should run? Who would you replace them with?
What do you like to eat?
I added the last one in case I have a party or have your over to watch a movie anytime soon.
All of the answers will be scientifically tabulated and sent to all of the major news organizations. Thank you for your time.